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pappaskurtz
12-25-2009, 07:39 PM
Inspired by mistahph33r's epic tale (http://forums.steampowered.com/forums/showthread.php?t=1050510), I wanted to contribute something of my own to the L4D lore.

There are threads of it in mistahph33r's story, but I wanted to explore further this idea of the infected still possessing some humanity. So for this, I chose the hunter, since he seemed the most likely to still be able to do this out of all the special infected.

I have notes and an arc sketched out, but the story could change dynamically as it progresses. For those of you that enjoy these types of works, this is for you!

MEET THE CAST (http://img191.imageshack.us/img191/8691/c2m2fairgrounds0014.jpg):

Buddy (http://img109.imageshack.us/img109/6862/c2m2fairgrounds0033.jpg)
Andy (http://img341.imageshack.us/img341/2286/c2m2fairgrounds0006.jpg)
Sarah (http://img13.imageshack.us/img13/5222/c2m2fairgrounds0020.jpg)
Trevor (http://img145.imageshack.us/img145/373/c2m2fairgrounds0003.jpg)

Chapter 1 First Breath (This post)
Chapter 2 The Safe House, Part 1 (http://forums.steampowered.com/forums/showthread.php?postid=12757131#post12757131), Part 2 (http://forums.steampowered.com/forums/showthread.php?postid=12770876#post12770876)
Chapter 3 Little Sister, Big Brothers, Parts 1 & 2 (http://forums.steampowered.com/forums/showthread.php?postid=12776450#post12776450)
Chapter 4 Mulch, Part 1 (http://forums.steampowered.com/forums/showthread.php?postid=12792755#post12792755), Part 2 (http://forums.steampowered.com/forums/showthread.php?postid=12821761#post12821761), Part 3 (http://forums.steampowered.com/forums/showthread.php?postid=12821787#post12821787)
Chapter 5 The Hunter Part 1 (http://forums.steampowered.com/forums/showthread.php?postid=12866222#post12866222), Part 2 (http://forums.steampowered.com/forums/showthread.php?postid=12908363#post12908363), Part 3 (http://forums.steampowered.com/forums/showthread.php?postid=13269580#post13269580)
Chapter 6 Rebirth Part 1 (http://forums.steampowered.com/forums/showthread.php?postid=13650002#post13650002), Part 2 (http://forums.steampowered.com/forums/showthread.php?postid=15356373#post15356373), Part 3 (http://forums.steampowered.com/forums/showthread.php?postid=15382940#post15382940), Part 4 (http://forums.steampowered.com/forums/showthread.php?postid=17492216#post17492216)
Chapter 7 Judgment Part 1 (http://forums.steampowered.com/forums/showthread.php?postid=17684911#post17684911), Part 2 (http://forums.steampowered.com/forums/showthread.php?postid=17719954#post17719954), Part 3 (http://forums.steampowered.com/forums/showthread.php?postid=17932799#post17932799), Part 4 (http://forums.steampowered.com/forums/showthread.php?postid=18009579#post18009579)
Chapter 8 Karma Part 1 (http://forums.steampowered.com/forums/showthread.php?postid=18081211#post18081211), Part 2 (http://forums.steampowered.com/forums/showthread.php?postid=18210185#post18210185), Part 3 (http://forums.steampowered.com/forums/showthread.php?postid=18289551#post18289551), Part 4 (http://forums.steampowered.com/forums/showthread.php?postid=18424197#post18424197), Part 5 (http://forums.steampowered.com/forums/showthread.php?postid=18559588#post18559588)
Chapter 9 Shelter Part 1 (http://forums.steampowered.com/forums/showthread.php?postid=18728435#post18728435), Part 2 (http://forums.steampowered.com/forums/showthread.php?postid=18812403#post18812403), Part 3 (http://forums.steampowered.com/forums/showthread.php?postid=18933154#post18933154)
Chapter 10 Penance Part 1 (http://forums.steampowered.com/forums/showthread.php?postid=19118585#post19118585), Part 2 (http://forums.steampowered.com/forums/showthread.php?postid=19266372#post19266372), Part 3 (http://forums.steampowered.com/forums/showthread.php?postid=19339603#post19339603), Part 4 (http://forums.steampowered.com/forums/showthread.php?postid=19597610#post19597610), Part 5 (http://forums.steampowered.com/forums/showthread.php?postid=19876473#post19876473)
Chapter 11 Juncture Part 1 (http://forums.steampowered.com/forums/showthread.php?postid=20193880#post20193880), Part 2 (http://forums.steampowered.com/forums/showthread.php?postid=20498908#post20498908), Part 3 (http://forums.steampowered.com/forums/showthread.php?postid=20857606#post20857606), Part 4 (http://forums.steampowered.com/forums/showthread.php?postid=21365343#post21365343), Part 5 (http://forums.steampowered.com/forums/showthread.php?postid=21784182#post21784182)
Chapter 12 A Bang and a Whimper Part 1 (http://forums.steampowered.com/forums/showthread.php?postid=22313994#post22313994), Part 2 (http://forums.steampowered.com/forums/showthread.php?postid=22631400#post22631400), Part 3 (http://forums.steampowered.com/forums/showthread.php?postid=23176197#post23176197), Part 4 (http://forums.steampowered.com/forums/showthread.php?postid=23454817#post23454817), Part 5 (http://forums.steampowered.com/forums/showthread.php?postid=24282043#post24282043), Part 6 (http://forums.steampowered.com/forums/showthread.php?postid=24462178#post24462178)
Chapter 13 The Passing Part 1 (http://forums.steampowered.com/forums/showthread.php?postid=25773949#post25773949), Part 2 (http://forums.steampowered.com/forums/showthread.php?postid=26634010#post26634010), Part 3
________________________________

Consciousness hit me like a body slam, like I had fallen ten stories onto concrete. I opened my eyes to blackness, but the cacophony flooding my ears was overwhelming—gunshots, crickets, cries of rage, my heart beating, the scrambling of footsteps, a piercing klaxon.

Then there was the pain. Every part of me burned like a charley horse. Nearly every limb felt like it was being ripped from me. My head was ready to explode. I tried to cover my ears to drown out the gunfire and the alarm, but it was useless. Only a cool breeze seemed to have mercy—

And then there was hunger. For a split second there was no pain. Then as it returned, the pain couldn’t even compete, as an agonizing emptiness shoved all pain aside and sprung me to my feet. The pain, as excruciating as it was, fled my consciousness as an afterthought.

I could eat.

I could smell them even before I heard their cries of exertion and desperation. I knew exactly where to go, and the urge to trace it was so unbearable that I jumped.

A scream filled my ears as the air surged against my body, but I landed. I didn’t know where, but I knew I was closer to where I wanted to be.

Dear God, where did that scream come from? Was it me?

“♥♥♥♥! There’s one of those pouncers around!”

“Just keep firing! We’ll kill if it comes near.”

Their voices shook me. Too many things weren’t making sense. The hunger was strong, and it was dulling the pain, but it couldn’t suppress another crippling sensation: guilt—gut-wrenching, mind-numbing guilt.

The guilt brought me to my senses, and as I felt the concrete below my knees, I realized I was on the edge of a very tall building.

I sifted through all the sounds hammering my ears, and I understood there were slobbering, vengeful grunts accompanying scurrying footsteps all around me. I opened my eyes to see figures all around me scrambling towards the direction of the voices. They kept clear of me as they jumped from the rooftop onto the streets below, and they were running towards the epicenter of the commotion.

A few blocks down, the gunfire was concentrated inside a building that must have been a convenience store, a dim EASY MART sign announcing its function. All the windows were shattered as its alarm wailed away, and swarms of people were flooding into it from all directions. Constant flashes of gunfire lit up the streets.

I understood what they were all running for. I also understood that they were no longer human, just as a part of me realized I was…

No! It couldn’t be true—it wasn’t. I wasn’t thinking straight. I had to eat, and then I could sort everything out.

pappaskurtz
12-25-2009, 07:40 PM
Yet as I tried to focus on the hunger again to clear my mind, the guilt would not subside. Instinct told me to jump. It told me follow the scent, to find a good vantage point. It told me I was no longer scared of heights. It told me to eat, as food was readily available.

But as I thought through exactly what I was supposed to eat—what I desperately craved—the guilt and the horror returned with a vengeance, and another scream filled my ears.

This time, I knew it was me.

“There it is again! It’s getting closer!”

“I heard it! Kill this zombies first, or we won’t be able to deal with it at all!”

Zombies. The word helped alleviate some of the guilt as memories flooded me—CEDA, green flu, official instruction, safe houses. I knew I had to help them, but I also knew I couldn’t let them see me. I wasn’t the same anymore. There was pain, and hunger, and guilt, but I wasn’t going to let those feelings cripple me or control me any longer.

I leapt to my feet and swung at a zombie running past me. He collapsed in a putrid heap and I realized my left hand had grown claws, but not my right. I leapt at another, using her as a spring board to bash into another, and another.

They cried out in listless moans as I cut them down, and I jumped and slashed at everyone in sight. When the rooftop was finally clear, I was covered in blood, blood that smelled of a disgusting stench worse than a dozen dumpsters.

I leapt down to the street to follow the others, managing to silence my cries. The trail of zombies was sizeable, but the horde surrounding the store was enormous. I jumped and slashed my way to the store, and they all fell without a fight, but another scent forced me to change direction. It was a harsh, stifling scent that burned my throat, and I grew angry as I saw a tall, lanky figure crawling towards the roof.

He stood on top and I realized there must have been a hole in the roof. I heard him begin to hack and cough.

He was about to strike.

“We’ve got to turn off the alarm, or they won’t stop coming!”

I crouched with the lanky bastard in my sights and leapt. It was almost exhilarating to feel the air rush past me, but it was over too soon as I landed just behind the zombie. He turned to me, startled, and gazed at me with red eyes and a bloated face. He grunted, then quickly turned back at his intended targets.

Their scents were overpowering. Hunger raged into my throat as I was blinded with the image of devouring their warm, succulent flesh.

I forced open my eyes to look at them through the collapsed segment of the roof. They were hunched in a corner blasting away with submachine guns—one with a hoodie, the other with a baseball cap, both with jeans and bloodied T-shirts.

I wanted to leap at them, but my instincts told me to wait. Let the tall one strike first.

With a gooey explosion, the lanky zombie shot out his tongue and wrapped it around the one with the hoodie.

“No, no no no!” he screamed. The zombie yanked him from the corner.

“Charlie!”

As I watched the one in the hoodie get dragged towards me, my initial glee was supplanted as guilt flared inside of me, pinning down the hunger and letting the rage pierce through. I screamed and slashed at the zombie, who cried out in pain and stumbled backwards. His tongue snapped and burst with putrid blood as the victim dropped to the floor.

The zombies all turned to swarm him.

“No!” the one in the baseball cap cried.

The lanky zombie expelled a cloud of smoke at me that paralyzed my senses. I gasped for breath, but before I could choke I leapt away and found myself down on the street.

“Eat this you zombie bastards!”

Even through the darkness, I could see the piercing red light of the pipe bomb as he threw it out of the store. But with the wailing of the store’s alarm, even I had to focus on hearing it. I stood and looked at the wires flowing from the store, and followed them to a street pole. I leapt to the pole and slashed the wires, and the night finally fell silent.

Except, of course, for the beeping of the pipe bomb.

I hung onto the pole and watched as the horde quickly diverted to the bomb glistening in the center of the street. They stumbled and trampled each other to get to it as the beeping and blinking pulses accelerated. When both had become practically steady, I leapt from the pole in time to shield my ears.

I felt the ground rumbling as I landed, but the smell of the zombies disintegrating was much more disgusting than even the sensation of their zombified remains raining down on me.

I stood and looked upon the destruction, and a new emotion took me—satisfaction.

“Oh God, Charlie…”

I hunched low, and crawled to get a view of the two survivors. I made my way gingerly through the bloody bodies and the broken glass littered on the ground.

pappaskurtz
12-25-2009, 07:41 PM
The one in the baseball cap was kneeling on the ground, holding the other in his arms.

“What happened?” he asked. “I thought I kept most of them off you.”

The other coughed, shaking his head. I bit my lip. Full of mucus and throaty, that cough was bad news.

“No, it wasn’t them, or the snake zombie.”

The first one cleared his throat. “You’re sick,” he said, but his voice broke. “I should have known something was wrong when your aim started to go.”

“I didn’t want to tell you. I knew the pills wouldn’t work forever, but I had to see you through as far as possible.”

“Why didn’t you tell me? We could have gotten you help! We could have—”

Charlie grabbed him. “Andy, listen to me. We’re not far from the safe house. You’ve got to keep going before another horde comes.”

“I’m not leaving you here,” Andy said, clearing his throat. “I can’t do this without you!”

“Yes you can—you have to!”

Andy started to sob. “No, not like this. Not like this!”

Charlie shoved him aside and tried to sit up, but only fell to the floor. Andy jumped to hold him up.

“Listen to me,” Charlie said, “you’re not sick. You remember those posters? You can do a lot more good than I can, but you’ve got to get to that safe house!”

“Bull♥♥♥♥! Don’t you remember the rumors too, of them rounding people up and executing them in cold blood?”

Charlie coughed again, blood starting to drip from his mouth. “We don’t know what’s true now, but that’s why you have you to keep going.” He took Andy by the shoulders. “Please, I promised Dad I’d watch after you, but the only way he’ll go easy on me when I see him is if you keep going.”

The harsh, raspy coughs started to overwhelm him. Andy tried to hold him, but he himself was starting to shake.

“I can’t do this without you! I can’t! If I get caught by one of those snakes or pouncers…”

“Just—just keep…” Charlie replied through coughs, “just keep your ears open. I promise you—you listen hard enough…it starts to sound like music—when you hear them.”

He gave Andy a small smile. Andy could only look back with tears.

“I was never good at that stuff like you,” he said.

“You can do this. I believe in you.”

Charlie pulled himself from Andy and started to fumble with something on his thigh. Something unclicked, and then he aimed a pistol at his own temple.

Andy stared at him in terror. “What are you doing?”

“Go, please,” Charlie said, coughing. “I don’t want to do this in front of you!”

“No!” Andy lunged forward and knocked the pistol from Charlie’s hand. Charlie collapsed as the pistol slid across the floor towards me.

“We’re going to get you help! We’ll cure you! I promise!”

Charlie growled in response, and anger shot through me. Didn’t he see what was happening?

“It—it has…” Charlie coughed, “I’m gone—it has me!” He stood in a surprising burst of speed, towering above Andy. “I don’t want to hurt you! Go!”

Andy merely shook his head. “I can’t…I can’t!”

“♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ it!” Charlie screamed. “Shoot me!”

When an inhuman scream escaped him, Andy finally started to raise his gun, but Charlie knocked it aside. Andy fell back on his hands and started to back away.

“Charlie—I know you can fight this! You’ve got to hang on!”

Charlie screamed again, and all familiar overtones of his voice were gone. He lunged at Andy and rammed him against a wall.

“No!” Andy screamed. “Fight it! Fight it!”

Rage and guilt boiled over inside of me, and I lunged at Charlie. We flew across the store before I finally landed on him. I tried to hold back, but his scent—though slightly spoiled—overwhelmed me. I fell to my hunger and began to claw him in earnest.

“No!” I heard Andy scream, but even the guilt couldn’t stop me now. “Oh, ♥♥♥♥—no—no, no no no!”

The first bite did.

His flesh tasted absolutely putrid. He was spoiled. I leapt from his body and screamed, the guilt rending my body and making me want to rip at my own flesh.

Andy screamed.

pappaskurtz
12-25-2009, 07:41 PM
A familiar musty and burning smell caught me, and I flung my eyes open to see Andy bound in the tongue of the smoking zombie. I shoved my guilt aside and jumped out of the store onto the street. The zombie was standing atop the apartment building I had launched from, with Andy grappling helplessly as the zombie drew him closer.

I lunged straight for the zombie and once on him, I let my rage take over. He was too stunned to fight me off, but even as he started to struggle, I clawed into his cold, soggy flesh over and over again. The rancid smell of his blood drowned me, but I didn’t stop until he finally stilled.

I leapt from its body to another building to clear my senses, but to my disappointment, Andy was still in the store.

He was sobbing over Charlie’s body. His cries echoed in the dead night air.

Get to the safe house! I tried to shout, but my throat fought me, and the result I heard was only pathetic, doglike mumbles.

Andy stirred, stifling his sobs. He looked around him, and finally stood.

He looked down at Charlie. “I won’t let you down,” he whispered. “I promise.”

He packed his pistol and picked up a rifle from the ground. Before stepping out of the store he looked around once more, then proceeded slowly around the bodies down the street.

I watched him as he walked cautiously down the street. Once he was far enough, I crawled down the building and ran to Charlie’s corpse. My instincts told me I needed something better to hide myself. Despite its tears and its rankness, Charlie’s hoodie felt like the best thing I could use.

As I held the hoodie, I looked down at Charlie’s still form. For a moment, all emotions within me dissipated.

For a moment, there was only grief.

I slipped the hoodie over me and leapt back to the rooftops. Andy was shivering as he looked constantly around him, his pistol cocked before him.

I couldn’t remember who I was, or where I came from. But I knew I had to help this poor sap.

It’s what she would have wanted.

amishbass
12-25-2009, 08:09 PM
Dude.
This.
Is.
AWESOME.
Keep it going :D

Keith777
12-25-2009, 08:29 PM
That was amazing!

Grim Tuesday
12-25-2009, 08:35 PM
Amazing. Lets see how much rep you can get above your post count!

Honest Eyes
12-25-2009, 08:41 PM
That was amazing!

e.o To much..To much...Just not interested,id rather read Ellis x Zoey :D im a noob LOL oh well,gives you rep,you seem to have good writing power

HAM
12-25-2009, 08:52 PM
This is great man another perspective to the survival version of this seems good keep up the good work

trenton160
12-25-2009, 08:55 PM
you get a rep-cookie. keep up the good work.

pappaskurtz
12-25-2009, 09:56 PM
Whoa, thanks for the responses so far! I'm open to comments and suggestions, and my goal is to have the next part up after 24 hours from now (basically tomorrow night).

Have to fix some typos, too...

foppajoe
12-25-2009, 10:07 PM
I always thought an entire RPG-like game could be made out of the hunter and other characters.

Captain Justice
12-25-2009, 10:17 PM
That is as TLDR as it gets, my friend.

pappaskurtz
12-26-2009, 01:52 PM
:)

I am retroactively naming the first chapter "First Breath." I'm planning on splitting the second in two parts mainly to save work on my part, but perhaps it will make the sections more digestible.

Keith777
12-26-2009, 01:59 PM
:)

I am retroactively naming the first chapter "First Breath." I'm planning on splitting the second in two parts mainly to save work on my part, but perhaps it will make the sections more digestible.

I always knew that the SI were good at heart! Haha ;)

Ant1dot3
12-26-2009, 02:05 PM
I always thought of a hunter that would still have a sane enough mind to help Survivors, Great story :)

I'm getting a tag confused though: Charlie is the hunter now? but he picks up a hoodie from Charlies corpse :s what am I reading wrong! >.<

Edit: Seemed to completely miss the first part... >.< Got it now :3

iwrestlebears
12-26-2009, 02:07 PM
I enjoyed it. If you spent time writing alot, and building up your vocabulary a bit you could be a really good writer in the near future.

Only nit-pick I have are the last two lines kind of contradict each other.

The Freeman
12-26-2009, 02:24 PM
Very good. Can't wait for the next part.

Recall
12-26-2009, 02:47 PM
Very gripping reading, nice! +Rep for you my friend. :)

kietjohn
12-26-2009, 03:09 PM
I always knew that the SI were good at heart! Haha ;)

Agree.
And sometimes I would think that the boomer's bile is actually what keeps the survivors untouched from other infections other than the one that caused the apocalypse, as it washes away/it's acids kills all the bacteria/virus that were present on the survivors' wounds caused by the zombies. You see, the boomer has a heart, awwww :eek:.

[Oh, silly me]

pappaskurtz
12-26-2009, 09:07 PM
I hate to split it up like this since I try to go for an arc with each submission, but this will have to do. The second part will come shortly.
_________________________________________

I think my name was David. The name sticks out in my mind, but it doesn’t quite fit, like shoes that are just one size too small.

Since awakening, I’ve started remembering things in sporadic bursts, but as the night sky started to brighten, the epiphanies had grown few and far between. Realizing I had running sneakers on, I remembered that I had been a wrestler on a team, but whether that team had been a high school or collegiate one, I could not say.

I couldn’t remember my age either. I could vaguely recall receiving college applications in the mail, but whether I actually started any, I didn’t know for certain. There was, however, a vague image of a college library by the name of “Woodruff” that sprang into my mind. I also remembered living in an apartment as a young boy, but it was in the void of nowhere-land.

Worst of all, though, was that I could not remember her name. Despite all the gaps in my memory, I was certain she existed. Her face was a blur, but I knew she had thick, curly red hair—and she was a natural redhead—with rich brown eyes that still drew chills even as I thought of them. I wasn’t sure if she had freckles or not, but I knew she was a wonderful kisser.

She had given me my first kiss.

I drew back from the railing. Andy’s steady breaths of slumber were no longer the only sounds of dawn. Zombies were slowly stumbling from the buildings onto the streets. Most were listless, but the ones that weren’t were too busy chafing from agony to do anything else.

Andy had proven himself a capable fighter, using his shots sparingly and avoiding most of the infected along his path.

After a few blocks, however, he had grown exhausted. He had made a questionable decision of calling it a night down a one-way alley, but seeing as there had been a sleeping bag and remnants of a fire, I decided against scaring him into moving forward. The bag managed to mask most of his scent, and there was no wind so speak of, anyway.

I stood and stretched from my post above him. The emerging sunlight was quickly dampening my vision, making my head ache with a constant whiteness. I had lost most of ability to see color, and the sunlight was quickly proving detrimental, whitewashing everything in view.

Instincts told me to shut my eyes; I didn’t need them. Though it helped somewhat, my head still ached, but it was no worse than the other pains gnawing at my bones.

My thoughts and attempts at sporadic remembering had kept me occupied as I watched over Andy, but I knew I had to backtrack. I had to find more clues, more triggers. If I had wound up close to these brothers, I must have been going along the same path.

pappaskurtz
12-26-2009, 09:08 PM
I turned back towards the Easy Mart and crouched, trying to reassure myself that I had leapt before looking once and survived. The restless, tingling energy built up inside my legs, and I jumped.

I was fast becoming addicted to fighting the air—and winning. I landed without a hitch, but though I knew I was closer to where I wanted to be, I didn’t know where I was, other than that I was on steady ground. My eyes burned with whiteness when I tried to open them.

Then there was fear. If I couldn’t function in the daylight, how could I possibly be of use to anyone? I felt a pathetic cry bubbling in my throat, but when I tried to force myself to see again, the cry escaped me.

A flash of the city pierced through the whiteness. I was atop another building just down the block from the Easy Mart. I shut my eyes and tried to reproduce the same cry, which sounded like a faint squeal—but I could feel it shoot through my head.

Another flash, and the fear was gone. I knew exactly where I was, and due to the trail of destruction left by Charlie and Andy, where exactly I needed to go. Without my eyes, echolocation seemed to be the next best thing. Oddly enough, it was something my instincts seemed to miss.

There were more languid zombies on the streets, but no major threats as I followed the trail. As the bullet holes seemed to grow more plentiful as I went, the brothers must have gunned down every zombie in sight.

They should have known they’d never have enough bullets.

I finally found the open door of a safe house inside what appeared to be an old pawn shop. I crawled inside and shut the door, which seemed to seal off enough sunlight for me to open my eyes comfortably.

As I stood, it was clear the brothers had spent several days here, their scents still lingering in the air. Apart from the guns, ammunition piles, health kits, and sleeping bags around the tiny room, there was a dark rectangular case in a corner that caught my eye. I crept towards it, as it smelled strongly of Charlie, and there was a note sticking out of one of its pockets.

I pulled the note from the pocket, but it took several blinks before my vision could focus enough to read it:

I congratulate you on making this far. As you can tell from the writing on the wall there have been plenty others before you. I was hoping to salvage this as long as I could, but I realized it was dead weight. In the time you take to recuperate, please find some comfort with this. It’s helped keep my brother and me sane through all this. Even if you’ve never touched one, give it a shot. As something that’s hundreds of years old, it’s proof that we can survive anything if we’re careful enough.

Oh yeah, it doesn’t attract the zombies. I’ve tried it. Guess they still have something alive in them to appreciate music.

Also within the pocket was a wallet. It was thin, with no cash, but had an NYU student ID as well as a Pennsylvania state driver’s license. Both were of Charlie, and he looked nearly the same in both, with a slightly gaunt face, hooked nose, and a defined jaw line but soft chin. He had shaggier hair in his NYU photo.

I read through this license: Height 6’2”; Weight 187 Ib.; green eyes; Birth date July 23, 1990; Organ donor.

A swell of grief gnawed at my chest. The age gap between them was obvious, but if Charlie was only nineteen, Andy must have been fifteen or sixteen years old.

A park from nowhere-ville flashed in my mind. I was lying with her in the grass. Her smile radiated against the sun.

Oh God, where are you? What happened? Why can’t I remember your name?

I put the wallet in the hoodie pocket and placed the note beside the case. I tried to open it, using my left hand—I must have been left-handed—but my fingers stung as soon as I tried to unhook the latch.

I snapped it away, realizing it had grown scaly and coarse. I felt it with my right, which seemed to be the only one still capable of feeling. It was mostly unchanged compared to my left hand, lacking the claws that had grown from its fingernails. Worse still, my left hand hurt when I attempted anything other than making fist.

Managing to open the case with my right hand, a pleasant, woody smell burst from within it. Even in the relative darkness, the violin seemed to glimmer. I took it as gingerly as I could with my left and plucked a few of the strings with my right. The instrument resonated pleasantly inside of me, and another image flashed before me.

I could play guitar. Or at least, I used to.

I set the violin back down and shut the case. It was a futile endeavor.

Something stirred inside the room. There was something edible nearby.

pappaskurtz
12-26-2009, 10:22 PM
I also hope it goes without saying, but I do appreciate the feedback so far. Any constructive comments or suggestions go a long way.

Well, the 1-star votes may not be so helpful (:p) but hey... lol

Part 2 of chapter 2 should be up around morning or about 12 hours or so from now.

Keith777
12-26-2009, 11:01 PM
I also hope it goes without saying, but I do appreciate the feedback so far. Any constructive comments or suggestions go a long way.

Well, the 1-star votes may not be so helpful (:p) but hey... lol

Part 2 of chapter 2 should be up around morning or about 12 hours or so from now.

Loving it, still.

Seriously, why isn't your rep higher than your postcount yet?

amishbass
12-26-2009, 11:11 PM
Me too :D

10:Ds

Swinedog08
12-27-2009, 12:14 AM
Awesome.

10Awesomes.

jmplayer
12-27-2009, 12:30 AM
A hunter with a feeling? Nice job writing this and depicting him! I knew from the survivors being revived by a smoker, and Tanks helping the survivors by killing CI, the SIs are good at heart!

StickyChaps
12-27-2009, 09:10 AM
Bump for the literate. This thread deserves more attention.

2pro4nubs
12-27-2009, 09:18 AM
Btw hunters do not eat. They kill. Can you change the first part to "kill" please? Ill give you a rep-cookie.

Keith777
12-27-2009, 09:19 AM
Btw hunters do not eat. They kill. Can you change the first part to "kill" please? Ill give you a rep-cookie.

What if they're just ripping open the chest to the good parts, but they get distracted by the OTHER survivors once they get there. ;)

2pro4nubs
12-27-2009, 09:23 AM
What if they're just ripping open the chest to the good parts, but they get distracted by the OTHER survivors once they get there. ;)

But all the other SI's and CI's do not eat either(no bite marks or hints that show they bite in game.)Why make the hunter the only exception?

Wahey
12-27-2009, 09:34 AM
this thing scarily reminded me of twilight...
You know... something thats supposed to be a bloodthirsty killer actually acting half-way civilized.

^^ and hunters don't eat. None of them do. They only punch and bite and scratch to infect. But it doesn't really matter.

TrojanMonkey
12-27-2009, 10:07 AM
"Infection" = decease.
They're sick, they have to eat in order to survive...The game's animators are just lazy.

ONTOPIC:
Great story, well done description of the hunter, I'll stay tuned.

Cafinator
12-27-2009, 10:41 AM
These people are bad at this game if they can't kill a Hunter.

Captain Obvious
12-27-2009, 11:19 AM
more more!

Keith777
12-27-2009, 11:20 AM
this thing scarily reminded me of twilight...
You know... something thats supposed to be a bloodthirsty killer actually acting half-way civilized.

^^ and hunters don't eat. None of them do. They only punch and bite and scratch to infect. But it doesn't really matter.

Don't compare anything that's even vaguely related to Left 4 Dead to Twilight.

"Infection" = decease.
They're sick, they have to eat in order to survive...The game's animators are just lazy.

This. Also in L4D1, Bill says "We're fighting a war of attrition with a horde of brainless killing machines." Attrition (http://www.google.com/search?q=define%3Aattrition&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&aq=t&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a).

Strong I
12-27-2009, 12:06 PM
I haven't read this yet and it seem's like it's good, but I'm annoyed because two days after I started a L4D fanfic of my own Mista fear made his. I was cool with it but now it seems like it's the POPULAR thing to do. And that's no good.

pappaskurtz
12-27-2009, 07:51 PM
Sorry for not posting within the time frame I said I would. Had some family commitments come up that I forgot about.

I'm glad someone started to nitpick at my liberties, since I knew someone eventually would. Personally I don't think the zombies really eat or bite the survivors in-game, but it's debatable, and for the angle I wanted to take with the story, I figured it wouldn't be too much of a stretch. I owe a lot to this thread: The Story of Left 4 Dead 2 (http://forums.steampowered.com/forums/showthread.php?t=1031261).

As for connections to Twilight, I haven't read the books or seen the movies, but vampire-like themes aren't necessarily a 21st century idea. :)

Anyway, on with the story:
______________________________________

The grating emptiness inside of me ignited. It had been simmering for hours, but whereas there had been guilt, all I could feel now was rage. I couldn’t starve myself like this!

I stood and sniffed, locking onto my prey. It was tiny, and smelled of sewage, but it was warm—and unspoiled. I sent out a cry to lighten the room and I pounced as soon as I knew where it was. I was crushing its spine in my hand before I even landed.

The furry rat squirmed savagely, but even though its smell repulsed me, its warmth forced my hunger to boil over and I bit into the rat in earnest.

A sharp chill ran through my entire body. It was like I had not eaten in years. The blood was sour and its flesh crumbled too easily against my teeth, but as I forced it down piece by piece—until it no longer squirmed—the hollowness within me was filling up fast.

But once I was left with only the tail, the distant horror of having consumed a rat remained a secondary qualm. The moment where I had my mouth full of warm flesh—it was all too brief. Now I was even hungrier and angrier, and I shot out of the safe room as another scream erupted from me.

The zombies that had stumbled near the safe room were startled at my appearance, but after a few glances, they quickly lost interest.

The hunger still burned within me, but I realized I needed to get back to Andy. I crouched, ready to leap, just as the wind picked up.

There was a new scent.

I sent out a ping cry and realized it was coming just down the street from an apartment complex. I shifted and leapt towards it, landing right on one of the fire escapes. The smell was coming from above, so I climbed the stairs as quickly as I could.

Step after step, flight after flight, the scent started to fade. I must have passed the right window. With hunger goading my frustration, I resorted to kicking windows in. The first broke easily, with little pain. The second drew a sharp twinge, and the third broke the skin on my shins, but I was too hungry to care. Forth, fifth, I lost count.

Then there was one that resisted me. My foot throbbing, I kicked it again, breaking the glass, but there was a wooden board blocking me. I poised to kick it again, my foot in agony, and it burst from the window and smacked the floor. I nearly lost my balance, as the sharp clap of the board striking the wooden floor nearly stunned me.

pappaskurtz
12-27-2009, 07:52 PM
I forced myself to steady and leapt inside. My feet sent stabbing pains up my leg, causing a few cries to escape me, so I took a moment to catch my breath.

It took several pings to get my bearings. There were a lot of cans, weapons, books, and other items I couldn’t make out littering the place, but the scent I was tracking drew me where I wanted to go.

It grew darker as I left the window and made my way down a hallway. I opened my eyes. Though there were several rooms, all the windows were similarly boarded up. The scent led me to the end of the hall to a closed door. I used my good hand to try to open it, but it was locked.

There was something edible on the other side. Not fresh, not as warm, but still nourishing—if I acted quickly enough. I kicked the door, but there was something heavy behind it. I kicked again, but it wouldn’t give. I ran back down the hall and leapt, aiming at the door with my feet.

I screamed in pain, the agony much more than I was expecting, but the door exploded and I rolled through it and over a toppled dresser. I crashed against a bookshelf, causing several books to fall on top of me, one particularly heavy hardback denting my cranium.

I cried out again and shoved them away, and despite a pulsing ache in my legs, I jumped to my feet.

This was the definite source of the scent.

There was an old woman lying in the bed. She held a shotgun across her chest, but there was no need to come any closer to know she was dead.

She was a smart woman, burning scented candles to mask her scent, but given that they had all burned through the wax, and she had only recently died, she must have lost the will or energy to replace them days ago. There was practically a stockpile of candles in the closet across the room.

My hunger pushed me towards her, but as I stepped closer, terrible shame clamped down on my stomach. I saw her light, curly hair and the many wrinkles around her cheeks and across her forehead, and it was obvious she had lived a very long time.

I took notice of the pictures all around the room. Children, grandchildren, brothers, sisters, husbands—they were all framed in dozens of different photos on the walls, the shelves, the dressers.

Dear God, did you outlive them all?

I flinched at the thought, and when something in the room flinched with me, I jumped across the room, knocking down the stock pile of candles and shattering most of them.

I saw myself hunched in the mirror on the wall. I ran back towards it and pulled my hood back, but the person I saw on the other side…I did not recognize.

There was blood covering my face. My lips and teeth and gums were dark, almost black, with blood; my hair was light and short, but my skin—I could see the veins through my cheeks and forehead, and my entire face seemed to glisten.

Only my eyes seemed vaguely familiar. They weren’t light or dark, but in between. What color could they be? Green? Blue? Hazel?

There was a coarse patch of skin on the side of my neck like on my hand. Using my good hand, I unzipped the hoodie and pulled up my shirt, revealing a long line of scaly skin down my shoulder and side and down to my arm. These areas were mostly dead to any feeling, but if I pressed hard enough, it felt like I was pressing a huge scab.

I looked back to the old woman. My stomach clawed at my insides, but there was no way I could defile her like this. I could not. I would not!

I made for the candles across the room. Most of them had broken, but there should’ve been enough to mask her scent long enough for her body to decompose. I laid them across the headboard, took the lighter beside the expired candles, and lit them.

As I zipped my hoodie, I stood to gaze at her face. The light from the candles was worth the pain. She must have passed peacefully, as the slight smile on her face almost seemed like relief. No matter the emotion, she still seemed dignified, even in death.

I was five years old. I had skinned my knees and elbows.

Grandma was dancing a stuffed rabbit before me, trying to distract me from the alcohol.

My eyes began to burn. Was it—could it be? Was it still possible? Could I still cry?

Grandma…Grandma what? What was your name?

A rumbling growl echoed across the city, nearly shaking the building itself. I crouched, ready to strike.

A horde was coming. Damn it, Andy.

I was ready to leap from the room, but I stood to get one last look at the old woman. Through the glimmering whiteness, she almost looked like an angel. Even with her heavenly shotgun.

May you be where you want to be most, I thought to her, and leapt from the room to trail the scent of scurrying, angry infected flooding the air.

BlazingNova
12-27-2009, 08:25 PM
Good Stuff.

pappaskurtz
12-27-2009, 10:04 PM
Added chapter links in the first post; Chapter 3 is an action chapter, so theoretically, I hope, it should take me a shorter time to write.

Trullius
12-27-2009, 10:25 PM
But all the other SI's and CI's do not eat either(no bite marks or hints that show they bite in game.)Why make the hunter the only exception?

http://left4dead.wikia.com/wiki/The_Hunter

there's a picture of a hunter biting ellis there. (apparently)

anyway, this is a nice story.

Trentemoller
12-27-2009, 10:53 PM
I suggest you re-write in third person omniscient. I dont like how the hunter talks to himself. It lacks a certain style... its too "hunter keeping a journal". The narrator should explain the hunter's emotional toil, without being the judge of it like the hunter himself is.

Other than that, very good.

pentiumwetwired
12-27-2009, 11:01 PM
Excellent, can't wait to read more. You got a 5 star vote from me. MOAR.

hybridmaniac
12-28-2009, 12:42 AM
Even with her heavenly shotgun.

.

This line made the chapter even better

Slizer
12-28-2009, 05:05 AM
Hey this is good, better than alot of the fanfic around here. Not too much "screaming!" , you could write novels right now you know:D

Keith777
12-28-2009, 05:13 AM
Hey this is good, better than alot of the fanfic around here. Not too much "screaming!" , you could write novels right now you know:D

As much as I like his story so far, no, he couldn't. That's exactly the mindset that caused Stephanie Meyer to write her ♥♥♥♥heap of books. Nobody can write a novel without first going to college English and writing classes - or being incredibly gifted. She hasn't done either, and neither has this writer (IMO, he's better than her, though).

Slizer
12-28-2009, 05:54 AM
As much as I like his story so far, no, he couldn't. That's exactly the mindset that caused Stephanie Meyer to write her ♥♥♥♥heap of books. Nobody can write a novel without first going to college English and writing classes - or being incredibly gifted. She hasn't done either, and neither has this writer (IMO, he's better than her, though).

I like this more than the mistahph33r one, eh? Not just dialogue and fzzt,

No offense meant mistahph33r you're cool in your own right

pappaskurtz
12-28-2009, 07:54 AM
Thanks for all the feedback so far. Ah, third person. I thought seriously about writing this in third person, but decided to step out of my comfort zone. Most everything else I write is in third person, so I thought I'd exercise a tool I don't use that often. First person has always been a struggle for me.

Also, I make no claims to be the bee's knees. There are a lot of cooler stories on fanfiction.net. My primary goal is to procrastinate on my other projects and, I hope, contribute to the wellbeing of the forums while having a bit of fun.

Without further ado...
__________________________________

The air was rife with rage as I soared through it. Slobbering, rabid cries accentuated the chaotic thumping of feet as they traversed the asphalt. I let my screams escape me as I leapt, since the city flashed before me with every cry, and the aching in my body dulled for a few precious seconds.

I tried desperately to pick up Andy’s scent, but there was an overpowering burning-egg smell that choked me. I hoped he was still in the alley, and tried to listen through all the noise to hear any signs of life from him.

There were a few more blocks to cross. The infected were thickening in number on the rooftops, forcing me to slash-land on groups of them with every pounce. They seemed to avoid me for the most part, but the ones that didn’t met my claws with their throats.

Andy was crying out in pain. He was being swarmed.

I landed, cut a few zombies out of my way, and jumped. I was back above the alley, and the zombies were funneling down it in swarms as I found the source of that horrible stench. The infected were trampling the exploded remains of one of those fat zombies as they ran to Andy, who was covered in its vomit. Luckily for him, at least, the vomit seemed to draw their aggression more than their appetite.

Andy was punching and kicking whatever he could, but he couldn’t get to his gun. There were just too many.

I jumped down in the alley, snapping the spine of one zombie as I landed. I hissed and slashed, taking down a few more as they tried to run past me. I kicked down another pair, stood to claw down another, cut open a throat, then crouched after gaining a wide enough berth.

I aimed straight ahead at the next swarm flooding the alley and jumped, swinging my feet forward. Through the beeline I created, I managed to knock down most of the group just as I heard Andy ♥♥♥♥ his gun.

I ducked just in time for a bullet to hiss past my ear.

I turned my head back to ping an image, and Andy had fought off most of the zombies around him with bile still covering his face. A lighter in his hand, he was unlatching a bottle from his belt.

“Burn in hell,” he shouted, “you sons of ♥♥♥♥♥es!”

I leapt to the rooftops just as he threw the Molotov. It shattered by the fat zombie’s dismembered legs, releasing a pungent burst of gasoline. I couldn’t see the fire through my pings, but once it hit the entrails of the fat zombie, the explosion of heat was enormous—even from the rooftops. High-pitched shrieks of agony quickly followed the rancid smell of burning, spoiled flesh.

I turned my attention to the infected massing on the rooftops. As Andy cocked his gun to shoot, I crouched to leap at those who were just about to jump. The impact of my landings seemed to be enough to knock them out, so I hopped from zombie to zombie and slashed at those that attempted to struggle.

pappaskurtz
12-28-2009, 07:55 AM
The rush of zombies seemed to slow, and the fire was quickly burning through the fat zombie’s vomit. As I cut down several more zombies, the smell of burning flesh was almost enough to cover it. Luckily enough, Andy seemed to handle the zombies that escaped me with precise shots.

The cries and footsteps were dying away as I dispatched the last few zombies, and the heat from the fire had diminished. When I could no longer hear any crazed footsteps, all that remained were Andy’s whimpering cries.

“Holy ♥♥♥♥…holy ♥♥♥♥…” He was gasping for breath, and his entire body seemed to shake.

I looked over into the alley. Andy was collapsed against a corner as he tried to steady himself.

I sighed. He had to clear the alley quickly—there had been far too much commotion not to attract another horde soon.

“Oh God, dear God, oh my God oh my God…” he continued to ramble.

I pulled Charlie’s wallet from the hoodie pocket and tossed it down at Andy. I didn’t think I would have to use it so soon.

He cried out and jumped when it hit him. I ducked to hide as he seemed to choke on his own tongue. After a moment, he seemed to collect himself. His shoes scraped against the bloody concrete as he stood.

“I’m sorry Charlie!” he said, projecting his voice to the sky. “Momentary weakness. I won’t let it happen again.”

He started to unpack something. I peeked over the edge with a quick ping to see that he was tending to his wounds. He cursed and hissed as he rubbed alcohol over his cuts and moved quickly to bandage himself.

“I know, I know,” he muttered, “I gotta get moving.”

He packed up the health kit and gathered his guns. Then he stopped, and there was only his breathing.

I peeked over the edge again. The fool was just sitting there.

“Charlie,” he said, sniffing, “I’d give anything to be where you are now. For the chance to see you and Dad again—anything’s better than this hellhole…”

I didn’t like the way he was gazing at his pistol. Anger burned down my throat, and I turned to find something else I could throw at him.

I found a shoe from one of the dead infected, but that seemed like it would give me away too obviously. Beside the remains of another zombie there was a decently sized pebble, so I took it and launched it over the side.

“Ow!” he cried out. I heard him jolt and stir again, no doubt looking around the rooftops. This time, he had his pistol cocked.

After a moment, he started to breathe again. He gave a small laugh.

“You’re right, I’m sorry. Nothin’s worse than Dad’s whoopins.” He groaned as he stood. “Damn, they got me good,” he whispered.

He limped his way quickly over the charred bodies covering the alley. Once he was in the streets, I decided to scout ahead for him. The sooner he was in that safe house, the sooner I could start my own hunt to find out what the hell happened to me.

And perhaps find more rats to eat.

I jumped across the alley and traversed the roof to keep Andy within pinging sight. The sun was out in full force, and my hoodie started to chafe against my skin. It was getting harder to keep the light from my eyes, and my headache wasn’t letting up, but I pressed forward.

Once I got ahead of Andy, his scent nearly disappeared. He was upwind from me, which was a good thing—if he didn’t get lost. I caught the scent of spray paint and used it to find my way.

For once, I heard something before I even smelled it. A woman’s crying—it came out of nowhere. It filled both my ears and flooded my head, her whimpering cries, and I could barely concentrate to hear anything else. It wasn’t deafening, but I had no idea where it was coming from.

My attempts at echolocation were useless. The images came back at me garbled and incoherent. Worse still, whoever was crying, she didn’t seem to have any discernable smell.

Using the last intact image I could use, I leapt forward to the top of an office building, but once I landed, I was completely lost. My eyes burned, my pings were useless, and she wouldn’t stop crying!

Slizer
12-28-2009, 07:58 AM
No don't change your style. One or two people might not like the journal entry type of story, but most love it to bits. With the hunter as a character it makes it even better.

pappaskurtz
12-28-2009, 08:07 AM
I also wish to ask if anything doesn't make sense so far. I keep notes and reminders beside me to attempt to stay consistent, but stuff slips by me, like everyone. Part two should come up by the end of the day.

ralphfromdk
12-28-2009, 09:07 AM
great stuff sir :D

and he found a witch.. daaaw... now they can run around and kill all the zombies for andy :)


...unless they make her mad :eek:

pappaskurtz
12-28-2009, 07:27 PM
Yet I had come closer to her. Her sobs began to conjure vague images of regret, shame, grief, torment…the images flashed by too quickly to negotiate any logical meaning. It was as if she was siphoning the nightmares of all the infected around her. Terrible crimes, horrors beyond imagining, dreams lost, soul-crushing despair, agonizing starvation, an infinite number of consciousnesses all bubbling together…

I clamped down my ears, but it barely shut out the nightmares. I fell to my side, feeling a scream burst from my throat, but there were only her sobs. I scrunched my eyelids as hard as I could but nothing could stop the burning whiteness as tears stung my cheeks.

The grief was unbearable. What did I do? What have I done? Why couldn’t I remember? If only I could just—remember!

My body was burning. I was being stabbed all over. I screamed again, but there were only her sobs. I tried to breathe—surely, I had been through worse…

Worse than having my skin peeled? Worse than outliving my entire family? Worse than having my limbs stretched and twisted from their sockets? Worse than eating my own daughter alive?

MICHELLE.

Her image flashed before me and I caught onto it for dear life. Her glistening red hair, her effervescent and dimply freckled cheeks—Michelle, that’s who you are, that’s your name. Where are you, Michelle? Where on God’s green earth are you?

David couldn’t be my name. It wasn’t right at all. Could it be Thomas…or Daniel? Or—

The wind shifted, and I managed to catch a new scent. I jumped to my feet, my entire body shaking, but my hunter instincts forced me to see through the overwhelming psychosis flooding my mind. It was a smell I didn’t recognize, but as carefully as I could, I crawled towards it.

Just as I reached the edge, there was a heavy thump that vibrated the entire building, and the woman’s cries became localized. It was obvious this new scent was coming from this gigantic creature, and it was close to whoever was sobbing.

I tried to ping an image before me, but it was still futile. Whatever this woman creature was, my instincts told me to stay back. I had far from a definite idea as to how large her protector was, but it was clearly something I could not handle on my own.

Relying purely on my sense of direction, I managed to leap from the building back towards Andy. As the woman’s sobs flooded my ears again, the hallucinations restarted in earnest, but I managed to catch Andy’s scent and leapt from roof to roof until she was finally beyond earshot.

The instant I could hear again, I turned and pinged as fast as I could to register the terrain completely in memory. The streets were still clear from the last horde, and it seemed Andy made his way easily.

He must have heard my screams. He was pointing his pistol up and all around him, never taking two limping steps forward without looking back.

We were maybe several blocks from the crying witch, but I had lost the giant’s scent. Andy came to a corner and crouched.

“Holy ♥♥♥♥…” he whispered. It seemed he realized I was the least of his troubles.

I leapt to the building above him, and from this vantage point, I could finally see the sobbing witch and its massive, hulking protector all the way down the street.

It took several pings to truly encapsulate the giant’s size. It appeared normal from the waist down, but even the legs were enormous—and above it, the muscles of its arms and chest had swelled to intimidating proportions, forcing it to hunch over the tiny woman sobbing between its legs. The monster practically took up half the street, and I had little doubt he could hold the crying woman in the palm of his grotesquely enlarged hands.

Holy ♥♥♥♥ was correct indeed. I couldn’t even make out the monster’s head, its muscles were so large, and the two were standing right in front of the safe house, which appeared to be a converted liquor store.

A wedding popped into my mind. I was fourteen, and it was my first taste of wine. Who was getting married?

“Holy ♥♥♥♥,” Andy repeated. “Charlie, how the hell am I supposed to get past that thing?”

Fortunately, we were still upwind from the monsters, and I managed to catch the giant’s scent again. As long as the witch continued to sob, I could not function near her, but if I even came close to that hulk, no doubt it would smash me like a fly.

If I acted fast enough, however, and knocked the monster back, I should then be able to knock out the woman with another quick lunge.

But if I couldn’t, I could at least attack the beast and spring away before it could retaliate. Once I drew it far enough away from the sobbing woman, I should be able to strike her down easily. Andy just had to stay out of the way.

I screamed to make sure Andy would see me, and I leapt ahead and into the witch’s cries. It felt like a baseball bat to the head this time, and the dreams quickly flooded in, but I managed to land without face-diving into the concrete.

Using Michelle’s image and the hulk’s scent as my anchors, I crept to the edge of the building. Swallowing the pain and building the restless energy in my legs, I locked onto the monster’s scent and pounced, springing my feet forwards.

As I screamed, I caught enough of an image to know that I was on target and I smashed the monster squarely between its shoulders. The impact was agonizing, but the monster tipped. Its scream rattled my bones, causing me to stumble my landing, but its collapse was like an earthquake and for a moment, it was like I was on ice, unable to grip anything.

pappaskurtz
12-28-2009, 07:28 PM
But the woman had stopped crying. As she took a breath, I used the silence to ping and establish my surroundings, pounced back to the wall I had launched from, and lunged at the woman. She cried out as my feet smashed against her ribs, but she seemed to still just as the hulk boomed another cry of rage.

“No!” Andy screamed. Just as I turned to see him running towards me, a bullet from his pistol grazed my un-scarred arm.

The idiot! He was shooting at me!

I cried out and leapt for the building tops before my rage took over, but that rage was instantly crushed by an earsplitting shriek that caused me to scrape and roll my landing.

It wasn’t the hulk monster.

It took a second for my hearing to return, but through the ringing, I could feel the earth rumbling. I pinged desperately, and in the brief flashes that I could piece together, I was struck with terrible fear.

The woman stood with vicious claws that had erupted from her fingertips, claws that were maybe a foot or so in length.

While the hulk was righting itself, she grunted in fury as she looked towards Andy. Her grunts weren’t psychedelic like her sobs, but Andy still seemed frozen in terror. She raised her claws as if to strike.

Andy finally poised his gun to shoot, but the witch shot towards him in a frightening burst of speed.

I leapt. There was no time. She would kill him in one swipe.

I managed to land just before Andy, catching a glimpse of the witch just seconds from me, and sprung towards her, flipping my feet towards her. I howled as her claws cut through the sides of my legs, but I felt my feet smash against her chest again and she fell back. I landed on the ground feet first as she collapsed to the concrete, silent.

The hulk cried out in fury and smashed his fists against the earth, causing me to stumble. The ground began to shake as it moved towards us at full speed. Andy cursed and started to fire upon the tank, but I could hear the bullets merely ricochet off its skin.

I sprang back to Andy, who cried out and tripped over himself when he saw me.

“No, no!” he squealed, but with the hulk just feet away I grabbed Andy’s coat with my uninfected hand and leapt for the top of the building.

My instincts rebuked me for leaping with so much weight, and I paid the price. I barely caught onto the edge of the roof with my infected hand—which spiked in agony. Dear God, we were going to fall.

Grab me! I tried to scream, but luckily Andy was quick enough to grab onto my leg to free my other hand before we fell.

The hulk roared as it chased after us. With a sharp cry, I finally managed to pull us over the edge. Andy let go of me and grabbed the ledge himself, freeing me to flip myself onto the rooftop and help him up.

The ground shook and the hulk belched another furious roar. Andy took a second to catch his breath, then vomited.

I would have felt sorry for him had he not looked up at me and pulled a gun.

You idiot! I snarled and knocked the gun from his hand, but my words were incomprehensible. Andy fell to his side.

“Please,” he started, but the building shook as if it were made of rubber. I hopped to the edge just in time to see the hulk pound the building again, another round of debris exploding from the impact. No doubt he would make the entire building collapse if we didn’t do something.

“Psst,” Andy hissed at me. He was shaking as he held out a pipe bomb. “I’ve only got one." The hulk smashed the building again. "If you stuff it in its mouth, you can have me all to yourself. I think I taste OK.”

I took the bomb in my good hand. An image of me crying out “Fire in the hole!” flashed before me. I stood and leapt down to the ground just as it punched the building again. As it growled and turned to face me, I jumped onto its shoulders, clawing into its skin to anchor myself.

He howled and punched himself, which almost knocked me off, but he seemed to be stunned. I pulled the trigger from the bomb and jammed it in the monster’s mouth, leaping off before he punched himself again.

The zombies that were attracted by the commotion instantly swarmed towards the beeping monster. He knocked them away, sending a few to splatter against the building, but the infected continued to mob him.

The bomb exploded before the beeping pulse began to accelerate. Infected entrails flew up and over the building, a few bits landing beside me as the inevitable stench followed. The monster collapsed in a wet, bloody heap, cracking the concrete.

I turned to see that Andy was still beside me. Expecting him to have run off by now, I was surprised. It took several pings to fully read his expression, but it was clear he was staring at me, speechless.

There was nothing between him and the safe house now. I crouched, ready to leap.

pappaskurtz
12-28-2009, 07:28 PM
“Wait! Don’t go!”

I hesitated. I had helped this kid far enough, yet a part of me couldn’t move to abandon him.

“It was you all this time, wasn’t it? The wallet, the rocks, killing that snake zombie—you were protecting me, weren’t you?”

I made no move to acknowledge the obvious.

“Here, I have something for you. I hear your stomach growling.” He started to fidget with his pocket and pulled out what sounded like a plastic bag. “It’s not raw, or hot, but I hope it’s something.”

He opened the bag, and a sublime smell burst from within it.

It was a hamburger. I loved hamburgers.

He offered it to me gingerly and it took all my restraint not to take his hand with it as I grasped it. I held it before me to savor its scent, then bit into it.

It was the best thing I could ever remember tasting.

There was a weekend when my father was barbequing. He was making burgers. His name was David. My father’s name was David!

I devoured the rest of the hamburger, too happy to suppress my pathetic doglike whimpers.

“Hey,” Andy said, “there’s a safe house ahead, but after that, the evac station is still a few miles off at the hospital. You’ve helped me so much already, and I hate to ask for more, but I can’t do this alone.”

I turned my head towards him, but didn’t make any additional move to communicate.

“Please. At least think about it. You’re hurt—let me patch you up in the safe house, at least. I won’t mind if you needed to rest, either.”

I thought again of Michelle’s smiling face. Wherever you are, I promise I’ll find you. Forgive me, but you know you wouldn’t have left this kid, either.

L4D Fanatic
12-28-2009, 07:59 PM
Coolest.Story.Ever. I look forward to more.

HylianTheBlade
12-28-2009, 09:30 PM
this has been extremely interesting please continue as much as you can

hertaru
12-28-2009, 10:41 PM
Dont stop bro ima print this up and staple it togher and the first page will have the author (you) on it and show my friend and it will have a link to this thread dude u rock!

pappaskurtz
12-29-2009, 02:26 AM
My goal is to have Chapter 4 part one up by the end of the day today.

pappaskurtz
12-29-2009, 05:18 AM
A little ahead of schedule! I guess I should be able to finish the chapter by tomorrow morning or so. It looks like part 2 might be a little lopsided like Chapter 3; I might just split it into three parts.

____________________________________

There was no liquor in the converted liquor store, much to Andy’s dismay, or very much food, to mine. Just boxes of dried cereal bars that met my tongue like paper. Once Andy locked the safe room and I had the chance to sit, the exhaustion that caught up to me was merciless.

I wanted nothing more than to collapse in a heap, which I tried to do, but Andy would not leave me alone.

“Hey, that trail of blood that followed you in here isn’t just a shadow. If you don’t let me stitch you up, you’re gonna bleed out in your sleep.”

I tried to wave him away, but an alarm went off inside of me when it took much more effort than it should have.

“I never thought I would have to say it like this, but hurry up and take off your pants! You look even paler than most of the zombies I’ve seen.”

I curled in the fetal position and turned away from him. I just wanted to sleep.

“Hell, a zombie apocalypse is no time to be modest. It’s not like I don’t know how you’re equipped.”

I heard him start to unpack a health kit, and my instincts told me he was right. I pried off my shoes and complied. Damn, the jeans were absolutely soaked.

Andy took a bottle of ethanol. “Now, this is gonna hurt like hell, but I have to do it. Please, please, please, don’t claw at me or bite me—please! Promise.”

I bit my lip and nodded, bracing for the sting.

“OK, on the count of three: one—”

Son of a ♥♥♥♥♥! The stings hit me like a kick to the crotch, and the shriek that escaped my body deafened me. Rage reddened the whiteness against my eyes, but I fought against it as hard as I could.

“I’m sorry!” Andy shouted. “It’s for your own good!” I must have deafened him, too.

I was growling involuntarily as he dabbed the cuts on my legs with the rag of fire. “Easy, easy now,” Andy cooed. The rage within me had latched onto his scent, so I tried desperately to anchor myself in Michelle’s image, to channel the guilt that had accompanied my initial cravings for human flesh.

It was getting harder to resist as he continued to sting me. Don’t do it, I screamed at myself, don’t let all your effort be for nothing. You killed his brother! You got yourself into this!

Andy finally took the rag from my skin, and I could breathe again.

“Come on,” he said, “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, right? What’s a sting or two for a badass hunter like you?”

I’ll show you stings, I growled incoherently, but then managed to silence myself.

The needle pricks were nothing. He actually seemed to know what he was doing.

“You’re lucky I got stuck with all the girly duties growin’ up. Without Mom,” he said, laughing, “I’m sure you could imagine what a house with four bachelors would be like.”

A third brother? I wanted to ask, but couldn’t bring my throat to articulate the question.

“Yeah, I had a baby brother. His name was William Constantine Polizos, but we just called him Willy.” He swallowed. “He didn’t make it. The infection got him at school, and he was dead before Dad could even try to pick him up. He would’ve been seven a few weeks from now.”

I stayed silent, which seemed to be the most respectful thing I could do.

He sniffed. “Charlie and I were hoping to find our dad, but he got called away with the National Guard reserves way back when they started instituting the curfews. He told us to stay put, no matter what, but in the days when everything just went to hell, Charlie had had enough.”

Curfews. A dormitory. My RA coming to my door for a hall meeting. Where was this college? Was Michelle there with me?

Andy sniffed again, swallowing. “I fought him tooth and nail,” he continued, laughing, and raised his voice an octave, “saying, ‘No, Dad said he was comin’ back for us! We have to wait!’ and Charlie said,” he lowered his voice in a husky impression, “‘Dad’s dead, he isn’t coming back for us—can’t you see?’

“I punched him in the gut and hid in the closet for hours, cryin’ like a little girl. I told myself—I knew—Dad wasn’t dead. He’s the biggest, baddest soldier there was. No zombie outbreak or infection or whatever was gonna take him.

pappaskurtz
12-29-2009, 05:19 AM
“Charlie was bangin’ on the door trying to get me to come out, but I was a little sissy tryin’ to spite him. When the zombies broke through the windows, I had to man up real fast.”

I kept up my silence as he continued down the gash on my left leg. He sniffed harder this time, forcing a sob down his throat.

“If I hadn’t been such a baby, maybe he wouldn’t have gotten bit. He tried to play it down, saying you couldn’t get sick like that, like it was just a thing in the movies, but I should’ve known he was just trying to do the big brother thing.”

It’s not your fault, I tried to say, but only a conglomerate of gurgles escaped me.

“Did I stick you?” he asked. I shook my head. Damn it, why couldn’t I still speak?

“I think I’m almost done with this leg,” he said, and fell silent.

He stitched and bandaged the cuts on both of my legs after a short while. I was uncomfortable with the silence, and wanted Andy to keep talking, but I couldn’t think of a way to communicate it to him.

He found pair of unstained camouflaged cargo pants for me to change into, but they were baggier than I wanted them to be. Luckily, there was duct tape, and I taped around my shins and my wrists for good measure to make my clothes tighter fitting.

“Don’t worry,” he said with a shotgun in hand, looking out between the bars of the safe-room door. “I’ll keep watch. Get some sleep.”

He seemed to turn awfully solemn, and for a moment seemed twice his age, but once I curled into the fetal position my sympathies for Andy weren’t enough to keep me awake.

hertaru
12-29-2009, 10:37 AM
Its nice being able to read one of these when I wake up its like a manga except you get a chapter a day not a chapter a week keep it up!

pappaskurtz
12-29-2009, 08:32 PM
How do people feel about either some of the L4D or L4D2 characters making an appearance? I've always felt a little iffy about it in spinoff/fan fiction, but I've seen it done well before, and one of my goals is to not stray too far from established lore...

I have a feeling someone can already guess what our hunter's name is. I hope I haven't been too blatant. :eek:

HylianTheBlade
12-29-2009, 09:12 PM
l4d1 sure, the l4d2 cast is to jolly and comical imo for this story. not really all that interesting.

and no i don't know who the hunter is.

wiggdogga
12-29-2009, 09:52 PM
yeah i dont know who hunter is though i have a very good guess. BUT DONT TELL US FOR GODS SAKE!
also great story dude. i like the first person perspective- it allows us deeeeeeper access into this hunters mind and his thoughts.

i reckon an appearance by a l4d1 character would be awesome

BlueKitsune
12-29-2009, 10:32 PM
I vote Bill, He gets the back of his jacket torn up by accident from the Hunter.

ralphfromdk
12-30-2009, 02:40 AM
or.. zoey :D

if it turns out that our dear hunter went to college, it could have been the same one, and he could bump into her, and maybe remember her as being on of his girlfriends friends :)

....or something like that :D

pappaskurtz
12-30-2009, 06:20 AM
Thanks for the feedback so far. Had more good games than I was expecting this morning, so didn't get much writing done. My goal is to have the next part by the end of the day.

Ashkins
12-30-2009, 07:01 AM
This is awesome.

Oddly enough, The Hunter is kinda... cute.

Well, cute FOR A ZOMBIE

hertaru
12-30-2009, 12:38 PM
Thanks for the feedback so far. Had more good games than I was expecting this morning, so didn't get much writing done. My goal is to have the next part by the end of the day.

Alright thats legit ill be back then.

mistahph33r
12-30-2009, 12:46 PM
Fawking exellent, mate!

Muuuuch better than my silly fanfic. xD Keep it up!

deadlybydesign
12-30-2009, 12:46 PM
Cacophony is not a word to use lightly and, for some reason, it immediately turned me off to your write-up. I applaud the effort though. Keep going.

(and make it end with a rage quit)

pappaskurtz
12-30-2009, 06:14 PM
:) Heh, rage quit. Clever.

I went back and renamed this chapter. The event I wanted to happen in this one got pushed to the next. This chapter is now titled "Mulch."

The "part" divisions are really arbitrary as well. The chapter divisions are the only intentionally meaningful units. So when part two is twice as long as part one, try not to be :confused:.
________________________________________

I awoke with a start, as if no time had passed at all. I heard a howl, and it was dark. I could see.

“Don’t worry,” Andy said, “it was pretty far off.”

I hopped to my feet, which ended up being a bad decision. I stumbled back against the wall, lightheaded. I heard Andy run to me.

“Careful. Lots of blood loss equals dehydration. I forgot about that, but you fell asleep anyway.” He held out a bottle of water to me. “Fill up. We both gotta have our wits about us.”

I accepted the bottle and downed the water in three chugs. Andy was right there with another, and I downed it, too.

“OK, we gotta try to conserve it. Easy now.”

I attempted to stand more slowly this time, and it took a second for me to feel fully in control. I shook out my limbs, and to my surprise, they seemed to ache a lot less. Amazing what sleep could do.

“You look ready to go then, eh? Don’t worry, I got some shuteye too while you were out. You’re not as loud a snorer as Charlie was.”

I moved to look out of the safe room door. The night air was silent and still. No crickets to chirp, nothing to smell than the ubiquitous scent of infected flesh.

Andy started packing a few supplies in his health kit. “Apparently, zombies must hate liquor for some reason. Didn’t see any while I stood watch. Does the smell bother you?”

I turned towards him and sniffed, realizing that underneath his scent, there was a sharp smell of beer that didn’t seem to bother me. I shook my head, and made for a granola bar on the shelf full of empty cartons of beer.

As I forced myself to eat it, Andy said, “Sorry I don’t have more hamburgers. I promise the next one I find, it’s yours.”

He stood and turned to the writing on the wall. “Now, I don’t know if you can see it, but the writing tells us we should make for the sewers. I didn’t have the balls to scout out by myself, but apparently it’s the safest way. They’re warning against pouncers.”

I could see the writing on the wall, and moved beside Andy. Death from above, the spray-painted writing warned, use the sewers!

If you value your intestines, go for the sewers! another hastily scribbled message decreed. The hunters are too fast to shoot.

“You haven’t had to fight one of those like you, have you?” Andy asked.

My instincts flared at the thought of fighting another hunter. They didn’t like the thought of competition, or of sharing prey. They absolutely despised having another hunter invade my territory.

“Well, I got plenty of bullets,” he said, cocking his pistol, “and a nice caffeine high from the old soda. I’ll follow you wherever you decide best.”

pappaskurtz
12-30-2009, 06:15 PM
I took a moment to decide, then pointed at the wall.

“All right, sewers it is!” He seemed almost a little too excited.

Andy undid the locks on the door and we headed out. There were barbed-wired fences and barriers practically everywhere, greatly narrowing the streets—and plenty of tall buildings. The sewers were definitely a good idea. I couldn’t stop another hunter from snapping Andy’s spine from a high blow.

It was also clear that there had been a deliberate effort to make foot traffic to the hospital as difficult as possible. I could see the faint outline of the skyscraper in the distance, the crumbling “Mercy Hospital” sign dim against the night.

We got to the manhole just a block from the safe house. So far, so good—no alarming scents to smell or psychedelic, sobbing women to be heard.

Andy struggled with the cover. “Damn it, I think it’s stuck.”

I knelt and clawed into with my mutated hand. It took two deliberate tugs, but I got it open.

“Yeah yeah yeah, show off,” Andy muttered. I wanted to laugh, but I had trouble releasing my hand from the cover. My claws were stuck!

My instincts started to panic. No good—trapped! The fear was sudden and uncontrollable, and I started swinging the plate wildly.

“Whoa, whoa! Take it easy!” Andy said, holding up his hands. “Let me help you. That’s what friends are for.”

Friend. I had a friend. The thought helped me squelch the fear, and I stilled.

Andy grasped the cover. “OK, on the count of three, I’ll yank as you pull. Ready? One—”

I yanked, and he flat on the cover, but I was free! Andy laughed. “So you do have a sense of humor. I was wondering if you were gonna get me back for that.”

I tried flexing my clawed hand, and it still hurt when I tried to do anything with it, so I assumed it was fine. I jumped down into the hole as Andy took his time with the ladder.

I gagged. The smell was suffocating, like I was drowning in a pool of rotten eggs.

Andy coughed. “Phew, wee! You know, I was sorta hoping the sewer stench would cover up your smell, but I guess not.” He laughed.

I had to focus on something pleasant—a good smell. My instincts latched onto Andy, and before I could stop myself, I had him pinned against the wall.

“Whoa, whoa!” he squealed. “I was joking, I was just joking! I’m sorry!”

I growled at him and inhaled his scent as deeply as I could, but even it couldn’t rid my nose of the sewer.

“I get it, I get it!” Andy whimpered, “I smell real tasty. I’m sorry.”

Michelle flashed before me again, and I yanked my hand from Andy’s throat. Thank God, I had used my uninfected hand. He fell to his knees, gasping for breath.

Shame swallowed me, but all I could do was pat on his shoulder halfheartedly.

“I understand,” he said. “Momentary relapse. I won’t make fun of your smell again, I promise.”

I offered him my hand, and he took it and stood. I forced myself to suck it up and went forward.

Andy clicked on a flashlight, and a white beam bashed my face. “Oh good, there are arrows,” he said. “Someone has gone through this before us.”

I squealed and covered my eyes, hoping he would get the message. “Oh ♥♥♥♥,” he said, clicking off the light. “I didn’t know all light hurts your eyes. I forget you had ‘em closed all through the day.”

I turned to move, but Andy stayed still. “OK,” he said, “I have to admit, I’m scared pretty ♥♥♥♥less right now, and the dark’s not helping. I can’t see anything.”

Come on! I tried to say, but it came out as a growl.

“OK OK!” He said, and ran up to me. “Just go slow, all right?”

We walked down the tunnel before the arrows told us to turn left. Fortunately for us, it seemed like the infected hated the smell of the sewers, too..

“You know,” Andy said after a period of silence, “I’m sorry for shooting at you back there with that crying girl. I honestly thought she was just a normal girl, and you were tryin’ to eat her.”

Though I appreciated the apology, I didn’t make a sound.

“You can’t talk, can you?”

I stopped. I turned to him, and he stopped as well. His eyes seemed to have adjusted to the darkness, so I shook my head.

“I’m sorry. This whole time, I thought you were just one of those strong silent types. I didn’t really think about it, I guess. Can you tell me your name at all?”

I shook my head. “Do you remember it?” he asked, and I shook my head again. “Damn,” he said, “that sucks. What if I tried guessing? Think you’ll remember? Could it be Jake? Or Billy?” I shook my head. “How about Stanley, or Kyle? You look like a Kyle, actually.”

I whined and looked away from him. “OK, OK,” he said, “I’m making you sad, I’ll stop. Can I come up with a name for you, at least? I gotta be able to call you something.” He thought for a moment. “How about Buddy? That was the name of my teddy bear as a baby, before I passed down to Willy.” I shrugged. “Well, Buddy it is, then!”

pappaskurtz
12-30-2009, 06:15 PM
After we took a few more steps, he said, “Oh, I’m Andy, by the way.” I nodded. “Shoot, you must be a mind reader, then.” When I pointed to my ears, he said, “Oh, duh.”

We started coming across infected bodies. Most were barely flesh and plenty were just bones. Infected flesh must deteriorate quickly. I could hear Andy swallow vomit several times as we walked.

“Oh Dear God,” he would mutter occasionally.

I came across a straggler, but cut him down before I had a chance to be surprised.

“Oh God!” Andy cried, and he fell to his knees, vomiting. I waited for him to collect himself. “You don’t have to say it—I’m a ♥♥♥♥♥, I know.”

At least you can’t see most of it, I wanted to say, but proceeded to help him back on his feet.

We proceeded onwards and came to a dead end. The only way out was through a makeshift hole in the wall that led to a derelict railway. A train lay toppled by the tracks, obstructing our path. Andy clicked his flashlight on briefly to take in the scene.

“Well, I guess we’ll have to go through that train.”

As we approached it, there was a disturbing smell that caught me off-guard. It was distinctly different than the manure-smell of the sewer; it was rotting human flesh—uninfected flesh.

I jumped up to catch the side of the train and helped Andy up and over. We dropped down onto the body of a uniformed police officer, cracking his pelvis.

“♥♥♥♥!” Andy hissed, flashing his light briefly. There were bodies all over the car strung about the rails and flung from the seats. I sent a ping out to enhance the scene, and I had to stop Andy from clicking on his flashlight again. I put my hand over his eyes, an immense swell of grief burning my throat.

“OK, OK,” he said, but his voice was already breaking. “I won’t look.”

The bodies had been mangled. Clearly, there had been hectic attempts to devour them. Limbs were strew left and right, entire sections missing from them, but there was still enough flesh on them to know the exposed bones didn’t result from natural decomposition.

Human flesh only had a brief window for edibility, and an even shorter period for best taste, my instincts told me.

I nearly heaved.

There were also bullet holes everywhere, and many other uniformed officers. What could have happened? Was this an evac train, with armed escort? Did a swarm overrun the train and cause it to crash?

I made my way gingerly across the bodies, and noticed some of them had clear bullet wounds. Intentional? As I made my way further, there were more victims with bullet wounds. Had there been a revolt? The train was traveling in the opposite direction from the hospital.

“Oh God,” Andy muttered, “I think this was my English teacher, Mrs. Eckhart.”

I trotted back towards him and pulled him forward. “OK, OK,” he sighed, “I’m coming.”

When we came to the end of the car, we had to climb out a window to escape it. I had hoped that we’d be able to avoid the other cars, but the cars had crunched together like a zig-zag, blocking the sides, and there wasn’t enough headroom to stay on top of the cars.

I stopped to look at Andy before I climbed the second car. He looked back at me and nodded.

The carnage only got worse. There were remnants of infected bodies popping up, clearly hinting at the brutal savagery that must have overwhelmed these people. Getting to the end of the car felt like climbing a mountain, and at this rate, we were on Mount Everest.

With another car behind us, Andy seemed to be holding up. But for me, I was starting to get a little dizzy. I could not get Charlie’s image out of my mind. With a constant reminder that he had shared the same fate as these people—and that it was my fault—Andy must have despised me.

He hid it well, but deep down, I knew he wanted nothing more than to bash my head in. I didn’t blame him. I couldn’t.

Mercifully, the later cars seemed to have been less occupied. Once we finally cleared the train, I grasped Andy’s shoulder and pointed to his pocket.

“What?” he asked. I tried to gesture as if I was pulling something from my back pocket, then opened my hands like a book. When Andy continued to stare at me blankly, I tried to shape my hand to indicate a credit card between my thumb and index finger.

“Do you want my ID?” I shook my head. I opened my hands like a book again, then gestured like I was throwing something. “Oh, Charlie’s wallet? What about it?”

I took his shoulder and squeezed it. Short of hugging him, it was the best thing I could think of to say I was sorry.

Andy chuckled. “No, I’m glad you brought it back. It was nice thinking he was watching out for me from above for a while.”

I shook my head again, but when he didn’t say anything, I sighed and let my shoulders fall. Figuring I’d never get through to him, I turned and headed forward.

“I don’t blame you for that.” He said, then forced a laugh. “Hell, I knew what had to be done, but I was too much of a baby to see it. Really, at the time, a part of me just wanted him to take me with him.”

pappaskurtz
12-30-2009, 06:16 PM
He at least got part of my message, so I waved him forward. He started to walk.

“Besides, I owe you my life,” he continued, “and the next couple of lives I have coming.”

I stopped suddenly and crouched, an involuntary growl escaping me. Andy pulled out a gun. “♥♥♥♥, what is it?”

There was that distinct hydrogen sulfide smell laced with extra bitterness. It was difficult to discern above the smell from the train, but my suspicion was confirmed when a bloated burp echoed down the tunnel.

“Oh, crap, it’s one of those exploders,” Andy whispered.

We stepped forward quietly. I went out a little ahead, sending out pings to spot him before he spot us. There was a bend in the tunnel, which was clear. I stood against the wall and peeked around, and surely enough, there he was wallowing on the track in a pool of filth just by the subway station.

He was round like an oversized beach ball, with a steady dribble of vomit dripping down his chin. Whatever tumors he had on his face had overgrown to cover most of his forehead and eyes.

Andy cocked his pistol as quietly as he could, but I stopped him from raising it. He nodded. It was absolutely vital to kill him without letting him explode.

I crouched and peered around the corner. After taking no notice of me, I leapt towards it and knocked him backwards. He gurgled in surprise, but before he could react otherwise, I grabbed his head and sliced his throat. A burst of bloody vomit squirted from the cut, but the bloated zombie fell silent.

Andy ran up to me. “Is it dead?”

I watched the zombie still, then nodded, standing.

“Nice job,” Andy said. He clicked his flashlight towards a hole in the subway station, then sighed. “Looks like we gotta go back to the sewers, according to the arrows.”

A blinding shock threw me back, and I found myself on the ground covered in a vile, gelatin-like goo. I rubbed at my face desperately to remove it as I heard Andy spitting and cursing.

“Oh, God damn! I’m soaked in it!”

The explosion had shaken the earth. I jumped to my feet just as a terrible dissonance of howls echoed through the walls. I leapt across to Andy and pulled him to his feet.

Run! I cried, and I surprised myself when it actually sounded like the word. I didn’t have to say it twice, and we were up and over into the station and running through the sewers. I could sense the rage building in the air, but we had to get above ground if we had any chance of surviving.

We came to a t-junction just as the patter of splashing footsteps echoed through the tunnels. The arrow pointed us right, and I prayed that no one was cruel enough to steer us in the wrong direction.

Andy had his pistol out and was firing occasionally behind us, most shots resulting in a heavy thud. I’ll have to admit the boy could shoot.

There was a dead end with a ladder and manhole, but we were too late. There was already a swarm on the other side of that cover, and amidst the deranged cries and raging screams were the smashing of soggy fists against the metal cover. Damn it—how could they know exactly where to go?

“Don’t lift it!” Andy shouted as he knelt. “We might hold them off here! Shut ‘em off, and I’ll pick off the ones down here!”

Of course! I dug my claws into the cover as Andy shot the zombies that rushed down the sewer. He had a long line of sight and most of the zombies were tripping over each other as they tried to reach us.

Meanwhile, the zombies above seemed to figure out they needed to lift the cover, but they seemed too busy fighting over each other for one zombie to grip the cover long enough. Blood started to drip through the cover as the infected hissed and squealed and growled. Bones cracked as they beat and pounded each other to death.

I gripped the ladder and the cover as firmly as I could, my clawed hand burning from the effort, but I grit my teeth to stop any cries of pain.

“Buddy, shut your eyes!” It was a redundant command, but I heard the smashing of glass and felt the quick burst of heat. I never thought I would be happy to smell burning flesh.

The blood was starting to pour down on me, but the horde didn’t seem to end. Limbs broke, flesh was beaten, mouths screamed—all without an end in sight. They were learning. I could feel them pull at the cover, and an unexpectedly strong tug felt like a slice down my arm. It happened again, sooner than I could brace for, and I shrieked.

“You OK, Buddy?” Andy cried, firing several shots from a rifle. “I know you can do it! You’re stronger than all those mindless ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥s! Hold it down!”

There was another pull, and a pool of blood crashed down on me. I howled, my instincts raging at the glimpse of infected above and the burst of malevolent air suffocating me, and I yanked the cover shut, severing an infected’s hand.

“Hang in there!” Andy yelled, firing off more shots. “Keep it shut! If anyone can do it, it’s you!”

The growls on the other side of the manhole became even more enraged. They began to tug harder and more rapidly this time, sending terrible surges of pain through me. I could barely even cry out or scream any more—only whimper like a braying ♥♥♥ as my arm was ripped from me.

“Hold on! I have an idea!” He threw another Molotov at the tunnel and I heard him climb up the ladder towards me. He tapped my hand with a pipe bomb. “Lift it and I’ll throw it out there, OK?”

Are you insane? I tried to scream.

pappaskurtz
12-30-2009, 06:17 PM
“Just do it! It’s our last shot!”

I heard the release of the trigger and knew I had no choice. I heaved the cover up just as the first beep blasted past my ears.

“It’s out! Close it!”

I tried to shut it, but a snarling head had slipped through the crack. It stared at me with eyes burning red with fury, roaring at me with hatred and disgust as blood spat from its mouth.

Andy screamed as he fired at the head, sending bursts of blood into my eyes. I raised the lid to knock it away, but its hand surged through the gap to scratch my face. Andy shot at it, but his clip emptied. The monster swiped at me again, and I caught its fingers between my teeth. Tasting its bitter flesh, I bit off some of its fingers—forcing a shrill cry from it—and bashed the manhole cover against its nose.

It flew back, finally, and with one last pull I slammed the cover shut, freeing my claws and letting myself fall from the ladder. Andy toppled over with me, but I could make no movement to try to soften my landing.

My mind was panicking, numbed by the agony in my arm. It was useless now, useless! What have I done? Why did I cripple myself?

I heard a distant explosion. Then there was silence, punctuated by Andy’s gasps for breath and the dying flames of scorched bodies.

I lay as still as I could, desperate for the pain to go away. Apparently it took a second for Andy to realize I might not be conscious, and he started shaking me frantically.

“Buddy, Buddy! Are you OK?”

I turned my head from him and grunted as I tried to push his hands away half-heartedly. The pain was starting to recede, and my instincts were getting a grip.

Andy began to laugh and I heard him fall on his back. For some reason, I couldn’t help but smile as well. Survival was apparently another phenomenon that could work wonders.

I rose to my feet and leaned over to help him up. He contained his laughter and took my hand to stand. Once he was up, he glanced at me but quickly turned away, only to double back and hug me.

My instincts spiked from the sudden contact, but I was more taken aback than anything else. Surely, he wouldn’t pin all the credit for our survival on me, would he?

“If anyone dares call you a zombie,” he said, “I will punch them in the face—even if it breaks my fist.”

I felt myself smiling again, and I surprised myself again. I didn’t know I could still do that.

Andy parted from me and picked up his gun. “Let’s go see the fruits of our labors.” He started to climb the ladder, but I stopped him, insisting that I go first. “OK,” he said, “if you’re sure.”

I nodded, then climbed up the ladder. The lid gave way with surprising ease, releasing another wave of infected blood. I slid the cover aside and peered through the hole, with nothing to prepare me for what I saw above.

It had been a sickeningly ripe harvest indeed. With a mound of bodies and body parts surrounding the manhole, I had to jump up from the hole to get above ground.

“Holy…♥♥♥♥…” Andy drew out the phrase over many seconds as he gazed as the pile of bodies encircling him. I leaned over the bodies to extend my hand and pulled him over the pile.

We found ourselves before Mercy Hospital, complete with the front entrance blown to bits.

Andy finally tore himself from staring at the bodies and looked to the entrance. He turned to me, his face solemn.

“Let’s hope we drew out all the patients,” he said.

AstralShifter
12-30-2009, 06:33 PM
I'm really liking what I'm seeing, Epic tale, and +rep!

pappaskurtz
12-30-2009, 07:17 PM
This is awesome.

Oddly enough, The Hunter is kinda... cute.

Well, cute FOR A ZOMBIE

I meant no intentional hit by this. :) It must have been subliminal, though.

hertaru
12-31-2009, 01:00 AM
Nice!!! !

Buick72
12-31-2009, 02:49 AM
Honestly... I tend to stay away from fan-fic. It's usually pretty bad. Though, I really dig your writing. + rep.

The only thing I would suggest, is be careful what you post online, as people will steal it and post it as their own. Had a short story I posted used in a magazine three weeks after posting it on myspace (Yeah I used myspace, forgive me) just a friendly warning.

pappaskurtz
12-31-2009, 08:19 AM
Thanks for the advice. I guess I could just upload it to multiple places then? I'll probably do that once I finish.

For once I do not have an ETA for the next chapter...:eek:

Keith777
12-31-2009, 09:07 AM
Still going great, pappaskurtz!

Critshot213
12-31-2009, 07:40 PM
bumped for great justice!

rocker25
12-31-2009, 08:43 PM
I have one question. Did they get to Mercy Hospital before or after the L4D guys?

themarcuslove
12-31-2009, 10:20 PM
Definitely a good read. If I had to make one critic, it would be about the action scenes. To me, they feel a bit rushed sometimes. They always start and end with nice, vivid details and attention to the events happening. But, I think the middle's sometimes go by really quickly and I lose my mental picture of what's going on sometimes.
Personally, I would stick in a 'snapshot' or a moment of intense detail to what's going on. I really like seeing the world through the hunter's senses and I can only imagine what hunter senses combined with the adrenaline of battle would produce. However, that is a style choice of mine. Feel free to experiment however you want and you'll find what works for you.
All together, this is a very refreshing tale. It flows fairly well from event to event, plenty of details to convey the surroundings while leaving some open to the readers imagination (a very hard balance to find), and it leaves me feeling refreshed in a sense. Will definitely read over anything else you write. Do you have any plans on writing for a career? It'd be interesting to monitor your work if you plan to.
Keep it up.
-Marcus

TheSkeeve
12-31-2009, 10:56 PM
Very nice, a enjoyable read. Keep it up!

wiggdogga
12-31-2009, 10:58 PM
aye moar. where is our l4d survivor?!

Critshot213
12-31-2009, 11:00 PM
is it bad that I like this story over mistahph33r's?

HylianTheBlade
01-01-2010, 12:07 AM
is it bad that I like this story over mistahph33r's?

i like em both equally, the turning hunter perspective is very interesting, and the survivors fighting and drama is also very exciting.. i might also like this 1 better though i am reading both :P

Tedill
01-01-2010, 02:23 AM
Had to open a steam account just to post that this is a very nice story, and thank you to the person who stumbled this post very worth the read.

Tedill

Nex Iuguolo
01-01-2010, 04:03 AM
"And then I got diarrhea, and I pooped everywhere and then I died."
The End

Taokaka
01-01-2010, 04:13 AM
no not the fanfictions


it burns

wiggdogga
01-01-2010, 04:16 AM
if you dont like the fanfiction dont read it
simple as that

fail trolls. at least try and be funny if your gonna troll.

pappaskurtz
01-01-2010, 09:04 AM
Thanks Marcus and everyone who's given feedback so far. I agree, I can definitely be more detailed in the action scenes. That's something I will focus on in the upcoming chapters, and with another pass at revision, look at the chapters already written. I write, but also compose, and I'm looking at making my way one way or the other...

My goal is to have a part of Chapter 5 by tonight, or at the latest, tomorrow afternoon.

And happy new year! :)

Shiggy49
01-01-2010, 09:09 AM
Thanks Marcus and everyone who's given feedback so far. I agree, I can definitely be more detailed in the action scenes. That's something I will focus on in the upcoming chapters, and with another pass at revision, look at the chapters already written. I write, but also compose, and I'm looking at making my way one way or the other...

My goal is to have a part of Chapter 5 by tonight, or at the latest, tomorrow afternoon.

And happy new year! :)
I just want to point out a small flaw in your story: Hunters don't have eyes.

I do like how you explain the origins of the hoodie/cargo pants etc etc. This is fanfic gold.

trenton160
01-01-2010, 09:16 AM
nice. keep em comin.

One thing though, im still finding it a bit hard to believe that the hunter went from killing machine to hoodie buddy just like that. I know you put some 'hunter moments' in the previous posts but maybe some more or even maybe some more into his mental struggle now and not just about his past. im pretty sure if you wave a bottle of scotch in front of a recovering alcoholic fresh out of rehab he wount walk by with a smile on his face and not even take a second glance.

pappaskurtz
01-01-2010, 09:30 AM
Shiggy, I know. :p That was going to be one of the major plot points of chapter 5.

trenton, thanks for your input! It's a great observation, but define "killing machine." Do you think this particular hunter, "Buddy" for now, is an innate killer?

He could be, perhaps, but what do you think?

Also, for rocker25's question, you'll see in the next chapter.

trenton160
01-01-2010, 09:58 AM
Shiggy, I know. :p That was going to be one of the major plot points of chapter 5.

trenton, thanks for your input! It's a great observation, but define "killing machine." Do you think this particular hunter, "Buddy" for now, is an innate killer?

He could be, perhaps, but what do you think?

the hunters in L4D kill by throwing your insides left and right, and they can kill a group of 4 in a matter of minutes, thus i labeled the hunters as 'killing machines'. I'm not sure how much killing or how human he was before this but from experience in L4D humanity was at an all time low, but at this point in the story he's pretty human though. Unless he got hit by a stunted version of the virus or is partially immune or SOMETHING I just don't see how he went from a 'hunter' to being the current 'buddy' we have now. As far as I know the L4D virus causes humanity deprived rage along with mutations.

i plan to keep on reading anyway because you write some good fanfic though.

hertaru
01-01-2010, 02:29 PM
i think the virus infected his body but his mind is still to some extent human its a good story keep it up!

themarcuslove
01-01-2010, 02:50 PM
Shiggy, I know. :p That was going to be one of the major plot points of chapter 5.

D: Nooooo... Chapter five... ruined *sniffle*
:P

SliceKing
01-01-2010, 03:15 PM
What I reached the end?! NOOOOO
great work by the way

SliceKing
01-01-2010, 06:51 PM
+ bump by the way

ShockbattMatt
01-01-2010, 07:38 PM
This is all glorious, I cannot wait for more. Good show, friend. +1 rep cookie for you!

pentiumwetwired
01-01-2010, 07:49 PM
Great stuff, subbed and +rep

Neonwarrior
01-01-2010, 08:23 PM
bump for great justice

Critshot213
01-01-2010, 11:03 PM
You must climb MOUT RUSH MOAR

Shiggy49
01-02-2010, 04:39 AM
bump, when can we expect the next chapter?

SirActionSlacks
01-02-2010, 07:01 AM
Bump for a great story

pappaskurtz
01-02-2010, 08:53 AM
Thanks everyone. Looking to have part one up by today.

Tedill
01-02-2010, 10:08 AM
You must climb MOUT RUSH MOAR

and take my axe

SliceKing
01-02-2010, 12:53 PM
how'd this get on page three?
+bump
+moar
+rep

Critshot213
01-02-2010, 04:07 PM
bump!!! and rep

pappaskurtz
01-02-2010, 04:32 PM
Here it is, finally, though I see the 1-star raters have started to return. This chapter may end up being another three-parter, but we'll see.
______________________________

The damage the pipe bomb had done to the hospital turned out to be relatively superficial in light of the destruction it had already suffered. As Andy and I made our way up the hospital, we found signs of past rampages everywhere: fast-decomposing infected, streams of bullet holes on nearly every wall, broken down doors on every corner, and smashed medical equipment peppering the hallways.

There weren’t many infected to deal with. The few strays who had not responded to the fat zombie’s explosion I quickly dispatched with a snap of the neck. Most were too lethargic to even acknowledge my approach. They weren’t interested in me or my scent.

Yet, more than once, I swore I could hear an utterance of relief when I touched them. Did they still retain enough foresight to know what was coming next?

The fat zombie’s expired bile flaked off our clothes in large chunks as we walked. Although its scent was no longer potent, I still had trouble discerning other smells above its rubbery staleness.

Falling back on my ears, there was no immediate danger, yet. Andy and I crossed the first few floors of the hospital with silence all around us, save for the occasional gunshot. Andy took it upon himself to take care of a few infected with a bullet to the brain.

“I haven’t seen a helicopter since Charlie and I set out,” he said while we were ascending the stair to the fourth floor. A collapsed wall blocked our path, forcing us to find another way up. “I hope to God they’re still gonna fly one out here. Radio said they would, but who knows?”

I had initially taken Andy as the perpetual optimist, but I wasn’t surprised to see this side of him. Still, I was disappointed, since I could not step into that role to balance our dynamic.

I kicked aside some broken glass from a computer monitor as we left the stairwell. I still couldn’t smell much, but neither my ears or eyes piqued me to anything dangerous.

“Say,” Andy said, “do you remember anything at all before getting sick?”

I shook my head.

“So not even where you’re from or nothin’?” I shook my head again. “Well,” he continued, “there were also rumors on the radio about a so-called cure for this whole mess. I couldn’t really understand him, but it sounded like a bunch of political bull♥♥♥♥ or something.”

I grunted. Andy paused to look at a particularly large hole in the wall. “Within any rumor there’s bound to be some truth somewhere, right? I don’t see why they’d start something like that for nothing.”

He turned to me. “Whatever the case, I don’t think you’ll have to stay like this forever. Something this big, they’re bound to figure out something, right?”

I patted him on the shoulder, causing another chunk of dried vomit to flake off him. He chuckled.

“Maybe after this,” he muttered, “I’ll be able to find my dad.”

I wanted to ask what his dad was doing, and tried to think of a way to do it, when I caught the familiar scent of a small, furry creature.

My hunger intensified, and my instincts fumed, already frustrated by the constant tantalizing presence of prey. I couldn’t stop myself from crouching and sending forth a ping since I knew I had to act fast. Just as Andy raised his pistol, I pounced down the hallway, snagging the tiny rat between my claws.

“What is it?” Andy clicked on his flashlight at me, the light stinging my eyes just as I was about to bite the rat in half. It was a runt, but it was better than nothing.

Andy clicked off the light and I turned to him, shame burning through my stomach. I looked back to the rat, its smell much more appealing than the first one I had caught.

“Well, if only that thing were a little bigger, I’d say, screw the sprinklers, start a fire, and roast that thing!” I looked back at Andy to see him grinning.

I wanted to laugh, but it came out as a raspy gurgle. I held out the rat to him as an offer to test his resolve.

Andy laughed. “Nah, that’s all right. I’ve always been a firm believer in finders, keepers.”

I turned from him and downed the rat as quickly as I could. It was small enough that I could finish it in two rapid bites. It was warm and fresh, but still left a bitter aftertaste of infected residue. I couldn’t complain, though, since it was everywhere.

We continued onward, following a path of bullets along the wall. “Say,” Andy said, “did I ever tell you about the time Charlie got hit by an ice cream truck?”

pappaskurtz
01-02-2010, 04:33 PM
I made a questioning face at him, and he laughed. “Yeah, this was before Willy was born, so our mom was still around, but I was really little and I always cried whenever I saw the ice cream truck ‘cause he never stopped in our neighborhood! Dad tried to substitute it with store-bought ice cream, but it just wasn’t the same.

“So Charlie had this plan—I dunno how he thought of it—but he got on his bike one day the ice cream truck was coming, he hid behind a bush, and wham!” Andy stopped walking to laugh.

“Of course he was fine, though,” he said, starting to walk again. “He had his helmet and pads on and everything, but that mean ice cream lady, the look on her face was priceless! It paid off, too—we get free ice cream for life now at any Jay and Benny’s. We just had to sign a few papers, but it was legit!”

Andy sighed. “I sure could go for a cone right now. Find my dad, get some ice cream,” he said, counting on his fingers, “and oh yeah, escape. That’s a hell of a to-do list already.” He turned to me. “Do you still like ice cream?”

For some reason, I wanted to shiver at the thought of eating something so cold, but I only shrugged.

“Well, if we find some chocolate-chip cookie dough ice cream out there, I will turn you around. No one can hate that flavor!”

We rounded a corner just past a few junked offices, finding a stairwell sign. “Man,” Andy continued, “there was another time, I had a spelling test at school that I knew I was gonna flunk, so I tried to play sick, but Dad wouldn’t buy it, so Charlie started acting sick too, and we both got off! He was always a better actor than me, and we just sat and played video games all day. Man, that was awesome.”

The stairwell was in sight, and we made our way up a few more floors as Andy continued to reminisce about his brothers.

“Willy was so bright. He was always asking questions, questions that Charlie and I couldn’t always answer. Dad said that was why he got put into the gifted class. Apparently if you can stump people with questions all the time, people will think you’re smart.”

He laughed. “But seriously, though, I swear he would’ve done something great in this world, apart from doing most of my homework for me.”

There was another collapsed wall, so we turned back and entered the eighth floor. “Do you remember if you had any siblings?” Andy asked.

I shook my head. “Damn,” he said, “I couldn’t imagine being an only child. I’d be so bored.”

Whether I was really an only child, or if I just couldn’t remember, I let it slide. It was the latter, but this floor was particularly rank with debris and infected remains. There must have been a horde rampage on this floor.

Andy cursed. “This smells awful. Almost as bad as the train.”

We made our way slowly through the mess. I was beginning to hope for a working elevator when I crouched, growling. “Oh ♥♥♥♥,” Andy said, cocking his pistol and aiming ahead of us.

Neither of us could see anything, but I couldn’t control my reaction as soon as the scent caught my nose. I could smell it only for a brief second, but my instincts were already in overdrive.

There was another hunter.

Had he seen us since we left the safe house? Was he trailing us the whole time? How did he stay hidden for so long?

My instincts chided me for asking questions I already knew the answers to. I continued to growl, knowing that he wouldn’t reveal himself until he was ready to strike. The crowded floor was the perfect place for an ambush, but it was too late to turn back.

I continued to try to warn him off. I had no doubt confused him by sticking so close to my apparent prey, but had he finally learned? Had his hunger overcome him? Was he trying to negotiate a share?

Or was he trying to play a game? Reveal himself briefly, keep me on edge the entire time, until I finally let me guard down?

I couldn’t pick up his scent again. So many uncertainties, but I knew at least that he wouldn’t try to usurp my prey without first taking me head-on. If he tried to attack Andy first, I would be able to kill the hunter quickly.

“You’re scaring me,” Andy whispered.

I looked back and waved him close. I crawled ahead, another broken doorway before us. Andy kept pace a few steps behind me, his gun poised. Wherever the hunter was, there were at least no places for a killing—

I had only a millisecond to jump, the cry filling my ears, but I wasn’t fast enough. He caught my legs in midair, his inertia flipping me and smashing me against a wall ahead of us.

“Oh ♥♥♥♥!” Andy said. The crash stunned me, but I heard the hunter swipe at Andy’s gun, knocking it from his hand. I hopped to my feet just as the hunter turned back to me and launched himself, his feet crashing against my chest and slamming me against the wall again.

I choked, but held onto my wits as my foe stumbled his landing. I grabbed his legs and used them as a pivot to flip myself over and crash on top of him. I heard the wind get knocked from him, and kept my hold on his ankles to flip us over once more, but he kicked just as I pulled him from under me and he spun himself to land on his claws and feet.

Andy was scrambling to load his other gun as I crouched and snarled at the hunter, warning him off. He hissed back and knelt, poised to strike Andy. The hunter was starving now, and he could wait no longer.

Blood stampeded past my ears. It felt like my skin was on fire, my instincts lashing me to take down this competitor immediately. He didn’t have much time left—Andy was almost ready to fire his gun.

pappaskurtz
01-02-2010, 04:34 PM
He leapt and I did the same, but he did not go for Andy. Instead, he aimed for the ceiling and I completely missed him. I was barely able to stop myself from crashing into the wall, and I stumbled to the ground, but I had already realized my deadly mistake by the time my opponent had pounced me.

“No!” Andy cried.

The hunter screamed and I felt his claws slash my stomach. The blow was excruciating, but I managed to knock his arm and keep from striking me again just as Andy fired upon the hunter. A bullet sent a burst of blood from his shoulder, but the hunter flipped backwards and jumped down the hall.

Andy tried to run to me, but the hunter jumped between us and knocked Andy’s other pistol from his hand, causing him to trip over an infected corpse.

I hopped to my feet and the hunter spun to me, but a smirk spread across his face. Despite the agony rending my abdomen, I tried to growl as menacingly as I could, but ended up betraying my agony more than anything.

He knew I couldn’t stop him.

The pain kept me from straightening. There was no way I could jump, or run, or do much of anything. He turned back to Andy, who tried desperately to stand, but the hunter slashed at his leg, causing him to cry out and fall back onto another corpse.

The hunter crawled towards him, hissing, as Andy tried to back away on his elbows. My anger reached a boil. The bastard was toying with him now, right in front of me.

“Buddy—do something! Please!”

Andy’s other pistol was right before me. Just as the hunter leapt on top of Andy, I grabbed the gun with my uninfected hand and fired on the hunter, the shot causing his head to jerk. The hunter fell silent and collapsed.

Andy cried out and kicked the hunter’s body from him. I dropped the gun and let myself fall as I clutched my stomach, my instincts wailing at me to admit defeat.

“Buddy!” Andy shouted, “hold on!” He rushed to my side, trying to hold me up. He laughed briefly and patted me on the back. “Man, there’s gonna be a night coming soon when you’ll be so glad you still have that hand.”

I looked at him, furious. He had to see that I was bleeding out.

“Come on,” he said, prompting me to my feet. “I’m sure it’s just a flesh wound. I wanna show you something.”

He walked to the hunter’s body and pulled back its hood. He smiled at me. “Wanna know how I realized you’re still you? This sucker doesn’t have any eyes. Neither did the pouncer that tried to get us before you showed up.”

I knelt beside the hunter, a hand still on my stomach, and noticed the claw marks around its sockets. Had it grown so frustrated from light that it had clawed out its own eyes?

“And I can see from your eyes you’re in real pain right now. Come on, let me patch you up.”

There was the scurrying of angry feet above us. “Damn,” Andy said, “just what we need.”

wiggdogga
01-02-2010, 05:07 PM
oh SNAP
awesome. but bah, cliffhanger!!!!!!!!

trenton160
01-02-2010, 05:07 PM
:D:D:D

nice.

one thing though

He laughed briefly and patted me on the back. “Man, there’s gonna be a night coming soon when you’ll be so glad you still have that hand.”


0_o

had to post the joke... sorry.

Chewy102
01-02-2010, 05:32 PM
Was hoping for something more with the other hunter but a damn good story either way.

AstralShifter
01-02-2010, 05:37 PM
Interesting explanation for the hunter's eyes... I like it.

trenton160
01-02-2010, 05:39 PM
when can we expect the next installment.

Atsumi Warrior
01-02-2010, 07:51 PM
KEEP POSTING! EPIC IS EPIC

Chippermonkey
01-02-2010, 08:34 PM
:D:D:D

nice.

one thing though




0_o

had to post the joke... sorry.

Oh you~

This is pretty good. Could do with a bit more detail on the surroundings for your action sequences, but I'm enjoying it, definitely. Keep it up!

pappaskurtz
01-02-2010, 09:14 PM
Thanks guys for the feedback. I don't have an ETA for the next installment at this point, unfortunately.

Was hoping for something more with the other hunter but a damn good story either way.

What would you like to see? There could possibly be more than one hunter... There's also revision. :)

CoffeeCrazy
01-02-2010, 09:23 PM
Thanks guys for the feedback. I don't have an ETA for the next installment at this point, unfortunately.

Less typing of ETA's and more typing of epic story. :P

+rep

Atsumi Warrior
01-02-2010, 09:28 PM
Less typing of ETA's and more typing of epic story. :P

+rep

QUOTE FOR TRUTH! ALSO UNDERLINED FOR RIGHTEOUSNESS

Something?
01-02-2010, 10:35 PM
This is pretty good.

Mutilate81
01-03-2010, 12:29 AM
Just read everything and loving it. Keep up the great work!

Mutilate81
01-03-2010, 12:35 AM
Also, if I had to give a suggestion, it would be to be a little bit more descriptive.

Shiggy49
01-03-2010, 05:22 AM
Bump, this thread shall not experience life past the first page.

CoffeeCrazy
01-03-2010, 09:34 AM
I must make a bump for THE MAN, skurtz!

SliceKing
01-03-2010, 01:08 PM
extremely epic fight scene, keep up the good work

Atsumi Warrior
01-03-2010, 07:01 PM
Bump bump revolution

pappaskurtz
01-03-2010, 10:13 PM
Hey everyone, I'm looking to have part 2 up by tomorrow night! Thanks.

Atsumi Warrior
01-04-2010, 12:13 AM
Why not now ><

Atsumi Warrior
01-04-2010, 07:12 AM
This must be at the front page at all Times ><

Teln
01-04-2010, 10:38 AM
Atsumi, I agree wholeheartedly.

Atsumi Warrior
01-04-2010, 11:00 AM
Bump.
10bumps

themarcuslove
01-04-2010, 11:03 AM
Instead of constantly shouting bump to keep this on the front page, why not actually discuss the piece and your thoughts on what's going on to spur conversation. This alone would keep it on the front page as many view points will provide lot's of posts.

llt
01-04-2010, 11:42 AM
Excellent job so far. I like this better than misapheers.

trenton160
01-04-2010, 04:11 PM
keep doing what your doing with maybe a little more detail and soon you can beat misapheers fan fic AND TRIUMPH OVER ALL!!!111!11!1oneoneelevin!! *crazy laugh*



no but really good job so far and bump.

llt
01-04-2010, 10:10 PM
Bump for great justice

Keith777
01-04-2010, 10:11 PM
Do you people think bumping this story will get him to post faster? Let it go. 1st page or 4th, he's not going to post any faster.

CoffeeCrazy
01-04-2010, 10:40 PM
Do you people think bumping this story will get him to post faster?

No.

10bumps

mystrdat
01-05-2010, 01:54 AM
Careful with this, someone might see a profit and steal it.
5* material, enjoyable read.

pappaskurtz
01-05-2010, 09:09 AM
Sorry this is a little later than I said I'd post it. Have some other projects that couldn't be put off any longer. This one is shorter, so it looks like part 3 will be a little lopsided.
________________________________

He helped me to a room that still had a working door. Locking it behind us, he clicked on his flashlight to look around, but I could already see that it was a typical patient room with nothing helpful. With smashed cabinets and glass shards everywhere, it had been pillaged long ago.

“♥♥♥♥,” he whispered, “if I can’t find anything else to help you with in a hospital of all places, there isn’t any justice in this universe.” He looked around for another moment, then sighed. “Oh well, this kit will just have to do.”

The scrambling of feet above us was confused and frantic. They knew something had died, but they didn’t know how to find it. I hoped that would give Andy enough time to work.

He knelt beside me and unpacked his health kit. “I hear ‘em comin’. I promise, I won’t be too sloppy.” I laid back on the floor, unzipping my hoodie and pulling up my shirt. Both were wet with blood. “Oh man,” Andy whispered, “he got you good, didn’t he?”

There were four short but deep cuts across my abdomen, two cuts barely missing my navel. Through the aching whiteness from the flashlight, I cringed as I saw Andy pull a rag from the kit and dampen it with the tangy smell of rubbing alcohol.

“Dude, come on, you don’t know where that pouncer’s claws have been. Just ‘cause you’re already infected doesn’t mean you can’t get sick from something else.”

He didn’t even give me a count off this time and dabbed the rag against my belly, ripping a shriek from me followed by several whimpers as I clawed into the floor.

“Come on, man, suck it up. You sound just like my old pug.” I hissed at him. “Hey,” he said, “you should take that as a compliment. I loved that dog.”

Andy made quick work with the gauze and needle, but as he was starting on the third cut, the infected had stumbled upon our floor. They were grunting and hissing, enraged, as they ran around aimlessly. Their hopes for a decent meal had been spoiled.

“Almost there, almost there,” Andy muttered. He kept a steady hand, but I could see the sweat condensing on his forehead, the dark curly hair under his baseball cap looking especially damp. “When we get out of here, we’re gonna have to get you some real medical attention. I hope these hold up.”

I swallowed, unsure if I should break it to him somehow that I had no intention of getting on that chopper with him. One look at me and anyone could see that I was a lost cause. I had to find Michelle. I had to get my memory back somehow.

I had to admit that he had grown on me, however. Maybe he was like someone I knew; maybe I had a little brother just like him; but, once he was on that helicopter, he wouldn’t need me anymore. I couldn’t stay with him, even if he was the only person left in the world that would even consider sticking up for me.

Aside from Michelle.

If she were still alive…

An infected zombie finally discovered us. It was only a matter of time before they were drawn to the light, and one of them started banging at the door with rabid intensity. Andy was only just starting on the fourth cut, the longest of them all.

The zombie’s eyes were glowing as she hissed and scratched at the glass, saliva dripping from her mouth. Andy paid no attention to it, keeping his focus on his stitching.

I grabbed Andy’s pistol and fired at the door, the bullet piercing the glass and the zombie’s throat. She jolted and her eyes dimmed before she collapsed.

“Thanks for that,” Andy said, “but you know you probably just drew some more to us, right?”

I nodded, keeping the gun aimed at the door. The scurrying of feet seemed to stop for a moment as a series of coughs and snarls echoed through the hall.

Andy continued down the cut. “Oh ♥♥♥♥, here they come.”

The aimless footsteps became a stampede as a crowd of infected manifested on the other side of the door. One of the zombies shattered the glass with a punch while the rest hurled their arms in, flailing them angrily as the infected grunted and cried out for blood.

I fired at them again and again, but I had already used up all my lucky shots. With an entire clip gone, I only downed two zombies from the door while enraging the others. Andy paid them no attention, but the stress was evident on his face as the sweat trailed down his crinkled eyebrows.

“Grab the clip on my belt!” he shouted, and I did. As I started to reload the gun, another memory struck me: I was going south!

It took quite an effort to reload the pistol with an otherwise crippled hand. My heart accelerated as I started to lose my nerve, the screeches and cries from the door building steadily, but Andy was solid and his hands were steady.

I finally managed to ram the magazine inside the pistol and cocked it, releasing another round upon the door. Dark, spoiled blood spattered across the walls and floor as the bullets pierced the zombies’ flesh. More fell from the door, and the air steadily fouled from their rotting wounds.

“Almost done,” Andy said. “You know I never told you I knew you took Charlie’s hoodie. I knew it was symbolic somehow but I still haven’t had a chance to think about it.”

pappaskurtz
01-05-2010, 09:09 AM
I wish I could tell you, I thought, but with another magazine empty, there were still plenty of zombies at the door. As I grabbed another round from Andy’s belt, he said, “Damn, don’t eat through all my bullets, will you?”

He forced a quick smile, trying to be funny, but the stress was getting to him. I tried to hold the pistol with both hands and took more time to aim. I had to make every bullet count, as every pound was quickly loosening the door from its hinges.

I fired, hitting a neck; again, hitting a forehead; and again, piercing an arm and hitting a chest. I fired, missing, but then shot again, striking another face. Perhaps I still had a few lucky shots to go.

“Done!” Andy shouted, pulling his pistol out and spinning around to shoot. My abdomen still ached, forcing me to rise slowly, but it was a marked improvement. I zipped up my hoodie and knelt beside Andy to shoot.

“They’re gonna break—”

The door burst from the wall and the infected flooded inside. Andy jumped up as a zombie grabbed him, but I slashed the zombie, felling him, leaving Andy to run to the back wall. I stood and clawed and punched as the infected tried to run past me, instinctively trying to avoid me, but those that made it through met a quick end from Andy’s never-flinching aim.

I couldn’t kick from the cuts on my abdomen, but infected flesh didn’t hold up well against my claws or even my fist or elbows. They were strong, but too unfocused to use their strength against me as I tore their skin, cut their throats, knocked them back, and broke their ribcages.

Fortunately, it wasn’t a true horde—just the remaining stragglers from the building. Once Andy downed the last zombie, there were a pile of bodies in the room, some spots up to my knees, and a fair bit of them wore hospital gowns. There weren’t many in nurse’s outfits, and only one in a lab coat.

Had most of the patients been abandoned as the infection hit?

Andy took a moment to catch his breath. “I’m glad you still got some fight in you, but don’t tear those stitches! You’re pretty good with a gun.” He walked to pick up one of his pistols on the ground and handed it to me. “You should give this a shot,” he said, then laughed. “No pun intended.”

I took the gun in my hand for a moment, trying to recall the image of me going south. It was a highway sign, but I couldn’t make out the interstate number. I was heading back, back to something, but why? Back to what? Was Michelle with me, or was I trying to find her? How did I end up here in the first place?

I shook my head and tried to smile, handing the gun back to Andy. He nodded. “Well, if you change your mind, I still have an extra ammo belt for you to use.” He packed the pistol in a holster on his leg. “Let’s get to the roof—I’ve always hated hospitals!”

Teln
01-05-2010, 10:39 AM
Looks like our hunter was trying to head for New Orleans when the infection caught him.

Keith777
01-05-2010, 01:58 PM
Iíve always hated hospitals!

And doctors and lawyers and cops...

Another great story!

Euphoria
01-05-2010, 02:21 PM
wow good as ♥♥♥♥

ralphfromdk
01-05-2010, 03:55 PM
keep up the great work sir :D

can't wait to see if andy will escape, and if buddy is going with him :)

hybridmaniac
01-05-2010, 08:11 PM
Bump

This story can't die not like this

pappaskurtz
01-06-2010, 08:39 AM
It's not dying. I expect to have Part 3 up by tomorrow night, or less than 48 hours from now. :)

hbrika
01-06-2010, 10:10 AM
Excellent story man. I loved reading it :)

llt
01-06-2010, 10:42 AM
Great. I look forward to the next chapter. Repped and Five-Starred.

Neonwarrior
01-06-2010, 07:14 PM
Bump again!

Tyrillius
01-07-2010, 02:32 PM
Can't wait for the next part...

Boklau
01-07-2010, 02:38 PM
Left 4 Dead novel?

Cybercybex
01-08-2010, 01:46 AM
How long will you let us keep waiting pls pls pls pls pls nxt part plss tnx

llt
01-08-2010, 11:09 AM
Bump. C'mon, man, we're dying over here!

CoffeeCrazy
01-08-2010, 04:13 PM
moar! +rep

pappaskurtz
01-09-2010, 01:36 AM
Hey everyone, sorry for not having the next part up. I've been having problems with power outages and such due to ice outside. I'm gonna try having it up by tonight.

DivineBeastLink
01-09-2010, 04:20 PM
Hey everyone, sorry for not having the next part up. I've been having problems with power outages and such due to ice outside. I'm gonna try having it up by tonight.

You are my God.
Totally not a bump or anything.

Neonwarrior
01-10-2010, 01:17 PM
I love last hunter.
(not a bump, honest!)

trenton160
01-10-2010, 05:07 PM
*trips over rock and BUMPs into thread*

A Happy Hunter
01-10-2010, 10:12 PM
This story should not die! I love reading Hunter stories like this! Keep up the fantastic work!

ralphfromdk
01-11-2010, 12:57 AM
sigh.. this has fallen of the front page AGAIN :(

only one thing to do... bump for the greater good :D

Tyrillius
01-11-2010, 11:19 AM
Bump for great justice...

pappaskurtz
01-11-2010, 01:18 PM
Just a quick update: I've been having power issues at home due to weather and now that I've moved back to college and starting school again, I won't be able to get out new sections as quickly. I haven't been able to work on part 3 as much, but I should be able to get it by the weekend or early next week.

New sections after that will very likely come on a weekly basis.

rocker25
01-11-2010, 01:21 PM
Just a quick update: I've been having power issues at home due to weather and now that I've moved back to college and starting school again, I won't be able to get out new sections as quickly. I haven't been able to work on part 3 as much, but I should be able to get it by the weekend or early next week.

New sections after that will very likely come on a weekly basis.

Get the Hunter to tear apart the weather.

Reconomous
01-12-2010, 04:06 AM
Get the Hunter to tear apart the weather.

hell yeah pounce the sky :D

llt
01-12-2010, 11:27 AM
Bump. I refuse to let this story die.

SliceKing
01-13-2010, 04:48 PM
wanna see some hunter pouncin, I cant just keep re-reading this!

trenton160
01-14-2010, 04:47 PM
*trips over a rock and BUMPS into this thread.*

Critshot213
01-14-2010, 05:48 PM
*trips over a BUMP and rocks into this thread*

themarcuslove
01-15-2010, 10:13 AM
*trips over a thread and BUMPS into this rock*

The Freeman
01-15-2010, 10:17 AM
*Over a and trips thread rock bump this into*

trenton160
01-15-2010, 10:24 AM
*trips over BUMPS and into this thread a rock*

Bacon!!!
01-15-2010, 10:58 AM
*Rock 'n' bump*

trenton160
01-15-2010, 11:02 AM
*Rock 'n' bump*

combo breaker... :p

themarcuslove
01-15-2010, 11:21 AM
*Rock 'n' bump*

c-c-c-c-combo breaker!!!!

Euphoria
01-15-2010, 02:08 PM
wow this story is soooooooo good keep up the great work man

Keith777
01-15-2010, 02:13 PM
Can we have a mod lock this thread until papaskurts actually has an update? This is ridiculous. I love his story, but I hate seeing tools just bump it over and over.

Bumping this thread is NOT going to get him to post any faster.

(I posted this when it was still on the front page from some guy bumping it.)

Clawz114
01-15-2010, 04:07 PM
Very interesting.

*Bookmarked*

pappaskurtz
01-15-2010, 04:22 PM
Thanks everyone, but I agree to avoid the bumping. Bookmark or subscribe--I will have the next section as I previously stated. :)

themarcuslove
01-15-2010, 04:24 PM
Can we have a mod lock this thread until papaskurts actually has an update? This is ridiculous. I love his story, but I hate seeing tools just bump it over and over.

Bumping this thread is NOT going to get him to post any faster.

(I posted this when it was still on the front page from some guy bumping it.)

What good would locking the thread do? (Also I don't think they can be unlocked.)

If people care enough to bump it up, then it must be worth reading. However the bumps could be a tad bit more constructive. (Like I don't know... talking about the piece...)

pappaskurtz
01-15-2010, 04:26 PM
Yes, input will be helpful as I write the upcoming sections.

trenton160
01-15-2010, 04:45 PM
I vote hunter buddy and friend run into another survivor who is a girl who dies or something later... idk.... and hunter buddy falls in luv...

ok now for a more serious note...

Maybe when they leave or explore some more they find a saferoom near the roof and rest up then the next day they signal a helicopter somehow which sees them but when they see they are getting swarmed they leave them behind. Hunter buddy could maybe use his hunter skills to jump them to a new building or something.

wheelchair
01-15-2010, 06:57 PM
*bumps over a rock and trips thread into this*

trenton160
01-15-2010, 07:00 PM
*bumps over a rock and trips thread into this*

oh god what did i start... :o

Neonwarrior
01-16-2010, 03:25 PM
Holy ♥♥♥♥, this thread is behind more than 25 pages? Bump!

rocker25
01-16-2010, 03:31 PM
*bumps over a rock and trips thread into this*

over bumps a trips thread into this and rock
lolwut

l K f
01-17-2010, 07:56 AM
I want moar !!!!!!!1

serialthrilla
01-17-2010, 11:57 AM
*Bums fred with a rock*

trenton160
01-17-2010, 06:04 PM
*I'm the BUMPINATOR!!!*

crocky94
01-18-2010, 09:27 PM
ninja slash not a bump just a ninja slash)

rhythmmaster
01-18-2010, 09:38 PM
when will our huddled masses receive more? when i ask you?

Jakkhali
01-18-2010, 09:39 PM
Infected and humans don't cooperate

Critshot213
01-19-2010, 04:54 PM
moar bumpping

Keith777
01-19-2010, 05:19 PM
Please pappaskurtz, just let this die. Can't you delete your own thread? You'll be much better off posting on a blog or something. I liked your story, but I'm tired of seeing it bumped to the front page every few hours. This forum REALLY needs a sage function.

Something?
01-19-2010, 10:06 PM
Excuse me sir may I have some more?

pappaskurtz
01-19-2010, 11:14 PM
Rest assured I am continuing work on this story, so there is no need to continually bump the thread. I won't post snippets at a time because that would be a nightmare for me in terms of revision. Again, I'm at school, so I have other work to balance.

Commander 672
01-20-2010, 12:44 PM
Insofar your Fanfiction has been on the better side of good and just on the rear end of great. It's not really your writing as the plot. The Protagonist needs a "fatel flaw". Something that doesn't make him zombiejesus. It doesn't have to be anything to do with him being...well, AN F'N ZOMBIE! It could be more too do with who he was before the infection, or who he is overall. Make sure that it isn't influencing Life-or-death desitions, though, things that put his freind's life at insanely stupid risk, and don't let us know what it really is. Imply a flaw through subtle actions regarding other charactors, the zombies and himself.

Also, ask some questions! What effect does the infection have in his dreams, or how about his internal organs. THAT could be a minor flaw. As we approach the light at the end of the tunnle, weather that's tomarrow or (if Im lucky) monthes/year from now. Have our zombie freind degenerate. Not into a puddle of goo or something dumb like that, but get sick, mabe slow down a little, hell give him altiemers it's your story. This goes for all the charactors as well.

Also, I have a bump excuse: What kind of trajic flaws can YOU think of?
Impatience
Fear
Overconfidence or Cockyness
depression (careful on that one, we don't want emo)
Unfounded hatred
overprotection
ect.

Like I said, it's a good fanfic, I'm eager for more and I am interested in how this will all play out. I truly am awaiting the fate of the last hunter.

linksysruler
01-20-2010, 01:03 PM
Insofar your Fanfiction has been on the better side of good and just on the rear end of great. It's not really your writing as the plot. The Protagonist needs a "fatel flaw". Something that doesn't make him zombiejesus. It doesn't have to be anything to do with him being...well, AN F'N ZOMBIE! It could be more too do with who he was before the infection, or who he is overall. Make sure that it isn't influencing Life-or-death desitions, though, things that put his freind's life at insanely stupid risk, and don't let us know what it really is. Imply a flaw through subtle actions regarding other charactors, the zombies and himself.


He kind of already has one, he blames himself for the loss of his brother and his friend, he cares too much.

Commander 672
01-20-2010, 05:21 PM
Who? Human or Hunter?

Becouse this would otherwise be bumping, I will also ask discussion questions. Let's discuss the fanfic together as fans of said fanfic. (fan)

What do you think will happen when they reach the roof?
How would other uninfected react if they saw this (ahem) situation.
Do you think this next post will be the last?

trenton160
01-20-2010, 05:25 PM
Who? Human or Hunter?

Becouse this would otherwise be bumping, I will also ask discussion questions. Let's discuss the fanfic together as fans of said fanfic. (fan)

What do you think will happen when they reach the roof?
How would other uninfected react if they saw this (ahem) situation.
Do you think this next post will be the last?

I want either an

A. hunter buddy to get a crush because THAT would be interesting.

B. hunter buddy to not be fully humanized and attack andy or something.

KururuTehEvil
01-20-2010, 05:40 PM
Amazing

+Rep

Commander 672
01-20-2010, 06:01 PM
Amazing

+Rep

HEY! WHAT DID I JUST SAY!

please disscuss what is amazing. Please express your favorite moments. Predict whats going to happen NO MORE VAGUE STATEMENTS ABOUT DA OBVIOUS!!!!

You know what would be cool, a one-time unrelated encounter with the Screamer. Perhaps from a diffrent part of Mercy Hospital, ther'd have to be a locational explanation, though, as not many people run around in retraints like those.

Crusader213
01-20-2010, 06:40 PM
awsome story + great plot
+ rep

Commander 672
01-20-2010, 07:06 PM
GODAMNYOUALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DomoJarf
01-20-2010, 08:33 PM
I know you've already written everything, but it is important to note that Hunters don't have eyes. Their empty sockets are barely visible underneath their hoods, but if you look really closely with your flashlgith on, you'll see them. Perhaps if you wrote something like this again, you could explore how the Hunter came to having his eyes ripped out.

Commander 672
01-21-2010, 10:32 AM
uuuh, smartass, thats a plot point.


Read the entire fanfic before pointing out a supposed plothole. Or that plothole may turn out to be a plotpoint

HylianTheBlade
01-21-2010, 12:21 PM
I know you've already written everything, but it is important to note that Hunters don't have eyes. Their empty sockets are barely visible underneath their hoods, but if you look really closely with your flashlgith on, you'll see them. Perhaps if you wrote something like this again, you could explore how the Hunter came to having his eyes ripped out.

internet stupidity....priceless.

Critshot213
01-22-2010, 11:44 AM
this thread is in page 7! bump

Commander 672
01-23-2010, 06:04 PM
Could we get an ETA?

jasonbourn48
01-23-2010, 07:24 PM
BUMP BUMP BUMP BUMP BANG BANG BANG BANG

pappaskurtz
01-24-2010, 02:43 PM
Could we get an ETA?

Part 3 looks to be the longest section yet. I'm in the process of reworking it, so on top of everything else, it looks like this Wednesday or Thursday. I know I've kept posting ETAs, but I've gotten more work than I was expecting this semester.

And thanks for your comments/questions and feedback. I'd love to see more of that in this thread. :)

Neonwarrior
01-25-2010, 07:07 PM
Bump please

Keith777
01-25-2010, 07:12 PM
Stop bumping this thread, you tools. It's dead.

Reconomous
01-26-2010, 12:06 AM
Come on we need new chapters now!!!!!!!

Cybercybex
01-28-2010, 05:00 AM
This thread is dead so is mistahph33r's epic tale :(

pappaskurtz
01-29-2010, 08:30 PM
I can understand why people would grow impatient. It's been almost three weeks since Part 2 of this chapter, but I wasn't kidding when I said I was making steady progress. In the interest of restructuring the chapter I've removed a few events and saved them for later.

Really, I set up an impossible pace by having a chapter section up every other day or so. Again, now that I'm in school, updates cannot come so quickly.

It was better that people thought this thread was dead so it would stop being bumped. I hope you've subscribed!

This also marks a major division, and the real meat and crux of the story is yet to come.
__________________________________________

We found the stairwell and managed to get to the top without any further obstructions. We ascended as quickly as we could without running and making too much noise, but there were no other infected zombies in our way. Thirty or so flights of stairs were a challenge to ascend, and even I was struggling for breath at the end of it.

The chilly night air was reduced to silence as Andy and I stepped out onto the rooftop. Our breaths misted under the clear, full moon.

Of all the destruction rampant within the hospital, the roof had seen the most abuse. Chunks of the building lay sprinkled about from evident pulverization by infected attacks. Skeletons of infected corpses crunched under our feet as Andy and I walked towards the helipad, which was full of cracks and splits that made the “H” barely discernable.

The air reeked of rotten infected much more than the interior of the hospital. It was enough to quell my appetite for the time being.

Andy had a solemn expression as he walked, his pistol poised. “All the lights are out. That’s not a good sign.”

I looked toward the spotlights implanted at regular intervals on the rooftop. There was no pain or whiteness to signal the presence of light.

We’ll do better without them, I wanted to say, but Andy started running towards what appeared to be a makeshift garrison across the roof from the helipad. I quickly followed, still hesitant to attempt any sort of leap to catch up.

We went around the sandbagged barbed-wire barrier into a room that had a mounted gun on top of it. Inside, aside from the rotten infected corpses and blood-spattered walls, there was a gun rack with only one assault rifle. Beside it, a dwindling ammo pile. A half-empty crate of Molotov bombs sat in another corner.

Andy went straight for the radio across the room. “♥♥♥♥,” he said.

Smoke was rising from the radio’s power supply.

Andy took the radio mic and dialed a frequency. “Hello? Is anyone out there? My name is Andy Polizos and I am a survivor requesting evac at Mercy Hospital. Over.”

We waited.

“Is anyone out there? This is survivor Andy Polizos requesting evac at Mercy Hospital. Over.”

The faint static persisted.

“Damn it!” Andy cried, slamming the microphone on the table. “Without that power booster we can only transmit a mile or so, maybe less.” He started to examine the power box, and a pungent bitter smell rose above the common stench. I turned sharply towards the box just as Andy put it down.

“Ugh, it almost looks like that—exploder puke shorted this thing out. But how the hell did it get here and not get on everything else?”

I approached the box to examine it more closely. I felt the fresh, gelatin-like vomit covering it, and I realized such careful placement could only mean one thing.

I looked at Andy, who seemed to understand.

“Sabotage? But why? Who would do such a thing?”

I shook my head, setting the radio down. I had no idea, and a despairing expression came across Andy’s face. He sighed as he took off his baseball cap and rubbed his hair, then face.

“OK,” he whispered, replacing his cap. He stepped out of the room and I followed. He walked towards a spotlight and knelt beside it.

“Good, it’s not busted!” He stood. “We just need to figure out how to restore the power.”

I shook my head emphatically. Andy started to bite his thumbnail, then looked at me, serious.

“This is our only shot. If we can’t radio a chopper we’ve got to signal it with the lights.” He sighed, looking towards the skyline. “I know that’s going to attract every zombie within ten miles of here…” He turned back to me. “But unless you have a better idea…”

I let my shoulders slump. Already practically immobile because of my stomach, there was no way I could fight off a true horde. I patted my belly as I shook my head.

“Aww, come on, don’t tell me you’re hungry now, with this god-awful smell?”

I made a clawing motion with my left hand across my stomach, and Andy laughed. “Oh, right. Wow, I can’t believe I forgot about that.” He shook his head. “Sorry. Here.”

He unclipped one of his ammo belts and pistols, handing them to me. “Jumping around and smash kicking aren’t the only ways to kill zombies.” Andy smiled.

I accepted the weapon, but as I clipped the ammo belt around my waist, I was taken aback by an image of a clock tower chiming. It was a college campus and I was gripped with panic because a horde was coming—and I was out of ammo. I was with someone, but whom?

“You OK, Buddy?”

I thrust my head back towards Andy and nodded, clipping the pistol to the belt. While my instincts didn’t like the extra weight, another part of me found comfort in having it on.

Andy scanned the rooftops. “We’ve got to find a fuse box. There’s got to be one nearby.”

I made for another room beside an exhaust unit. Though the unit was dead, there was a section of wall that had been blown out to reveal some wiring leading from the unit. I whistled, and Andy ran to me.

He eyed the wiring. “Oh, good call,” he said.

pappaskurtz
01-29-2010, 08:31 PM
Extrapolating from the direction of the wires, we made our way towards another exit from the rooftop. It looked like a service ladder, and just below a level of scaffolding, there was what seemed to be a fuse box.

“There it is!” Andy exclaimed, pointing. “Damn, I hope the bastard didn’t jarate on it or something.”

He looked at me. “We’re gonna make it out of here. Believe it.” He offered a small smile. I considered trying to tell him, somehow, that I could not come with him, but he dropped down the ladder before I could stop him.

Andy dropped down another level and ran to the fuse box. He opened it and I looked away just as he clicked on his flashlight. “Ready? Look away from the lights!” I heard a click, followed by another, and another—before a dull grayness started to singe my eyes. I could still see, but I had to be careful where I looked.

Howls and screams echoed through the night. As Andy began to climb the ladder, I could sense a definite shift in the quality of the air. It wasn’t a smell per se, but it was more profound than during every other horde attack so far. It was as if a pheromone had blanketed the city, its eerie not-smell saturating my skin and giving me goose bumps.

For several blocks all around us, I could hear the pattering of angry feet flooding the streets below. I helped Andy over the ladder as he said, “Well, just in case we run out of bullets.” He pulled a fire axe from behind his back, grinning.

We ran back to the garrison. I climbed up to the gun emplacement while Andy ran inside the gun room. He met me at the turret with the assault rifle, cocking it and firing a test shot. “Well, that works,” he said.

Setting the gun down, he stood behind the gun turret and start to spin the barrel. “Well, what do you know?” he said. “It still has ammo.”

The shrieks and footsteps were getting louder and fast growing in number. It would be some time before they reached the rooftop, but through the stampede, I could make out a distinct walk pattern. It was heavier and more deliberate, and it didn’t take the echoing smash of a crumpling car to confirm my fear.

“Oh, ♥♥♥♥,” Andy said, his eyes widening, “is that what I think it is?”

Each low thud started the shake the earth. Andy and I ran to opposite edges of the roof to try to spot the monster. It was making progress fast, the rumbling growing more pronounced with every step. It smashed another car, but it remained out of sight.

Meanwhile, there were infected zombies surrounding the base of the hospital. They poured inside, tripping over and trampling each other, but there were a seemingly endless number of them coming from all directions with no way to stop them from reaching the roof.

Inexplicably, some had even started climbing the exterior of the hospital and were ascending at frightening speeds. I pulled out my pistol and shot at one, knocking her off, but my subsequent attempts missed and I quickly realized my inadequate aim would only waste precious ammo.

“Oh God,” Andy cried, “there it is! There’s the big brother!” He knelt to fire, which provoked a throaty roar that seemed to vibrate through my bones.

I ran towards Andy to see the big brother for myself. Upon reaching Andy’s vantage point, the monster was just a block or two down the street from the hospital and had lifted a car over its head.

“Oh ♥♥♥♥, if that thing reaches here…” Andy started, but the monster roared and launched the car. We instinctively ducked—the car seeming to make a beeline straight toward us—but the building shook as the car smashed against the side of the hospital.

The explosion of shattering glass was so powerful I thought my eardrums had ruptured. I rose to see a flood of window shards rain down the side of the building, thinning out a small patch of infected zombies below. The car remained lodged against the side of the building like a bullet.

“♥♥♥♥♥♥♥,” Andy whispered. He looked at me, his eyes frantic. “I got no more pipe bombs. If that thing gets up here…”

The monster had already closed the distance between itself and the hospital. It jumped, catching the exterior of the building and sending another shock through the entire structure.

Andy and I looked towards the gun turret. We nodded to each other and ran back to the mounted gun, Andy manning it while I ran to retrieve a Molotov.

After climbing up to cover him, a few zombies started to cross over the edge onto the roof. We fired, downing them quickly, but the snarling big brother was ascending steadily and Andy couldn’t bring himself to part from the turret any longer. He held onto the handle and spun the barrel, his body trembling and sweat dripping down his chin.

I took over shooting the strays as Andy cursed under his breath. “Come on you bastard, we’re ready for you. The bigger you are, the harder you’ll fall…”

Crunch, crunch, grunt; crunch, crunch, grunt; the big brother monster climbed at a slow and steady pace. Every so often it would roar, evoking choruses of sympathetic howls and cries from the common zombies below.

I spun around and around, my instincts wailing at me to get away from this giant while simultaneously pressuring me to admit defeat due to my immobility.

Common strays were no longer stumbling onto the roof, and with nothing to shoot, I couldn’t help but hear the stampeding on the floors below. Their footsteps rumbled through the building like a resonant murmur as the horde rampaged upward with the big brother. Crunch, crunch, grunt; crunch, crunch, grunt…

pappaskurtz
01-29-2010, 08:31 PM
Every crunch of the glass tore at my ears as Andy tried to steady himself. “Come on, come on,” he continued to whisper.

For the first time that I could remember, my instincts could not suppress the fear. What if this was it? What if I couldn’t save Andy after all this?

I started to regret ever helping him, the dizzying fear of being unable to save him nearly crippling me, but the guilt surged through my being—if I couldn’t save Andy, why should I believe I could save Michelle?

The monster’s giant arms reached up over the edge of the roof. Andy screamed and opened fire, the blasts from the gunfire blinding me in whiteness. I shut my eyes and fell back on my pings, but to my dismay, the monster had made it over the edge of the roof.

A deafening roar erupted from the big brother as the bullets ricocheted off its thickened skin. No, maybe they weren’t bouncing off; this cry was different—angrier, but less focused.

It was in pain. The gun was doing damage!

“Throw it now!” Andy screamed. I picked up the Molotov, but just as I threw, it punched the roof, causing Andy and I to stumble to the ground and the turret to cease firing. The Molotov overshot the monster, flying clear over its shoulders.

A shuddering crack shook the rooftop, and I saw that the monster had torn off a chunk of the roof. Just as it lifted the concrete over its head, Andy mounted the gun again to fire. Blinded again by the gunfire, I didn’t need another ping to know it hurled the boulder at us.

I tackled Andy off the top of the emplacement just as a huge surge of air blew past us and crushed the mounted gun in an explosion of crumbling concrete and twisting metal. I looked up, knowing I had only a split second to act, and leapt towards the monster, swinging my legs ahead and screeching.

I felt my feet smash against the big brother’s tiny face. Too stunned to react, it simply toppled backwards.

I caught a glimpse of the monster as it fell off the roof. Ironically enough, the pain hit me only after I fell to the ground, but it hit me hard. I cried out in agony as my core seemed to split in two again.

“Buddy!” Andy called to me, and he hopped over several corpses to get to me.

He stumbled as a boom thundered through the night, and a part of me wanted to look over the edge to see the crater the monster’s body had formed in the asphalt below.

But I could only clutch my stomach, the pain searing my skin. Andy knelt beside me and lifted my hoodie to reveal that one of the cuts had reopened.

“♥♥♥♥, come on, come on!” Andy helped me to my feet and we trotted towards the helipad. The boulder had collapsed most of the garrison and set off the cache of Molotovs, causing an enormous fire to spread across half of the roof.

“Well, there goes the ammo,” Andy said. Fortunately, however, the fire had spread to cover both of the entrances to the roof, and when the infected zombies started to pour in, they met a quick end, some even running off the rooftops as they tried to pat out the flames.

The fire showed no signs of stopping, and Andy quickly dispatched the infected that managed to climb over the side of the building. I unpacked his health kit and took over shooting as he hastily wrapped gauze around my abdomen, looping it around my back.

“That’s the last of this kit, too,” Andy said.

The gauze helped alleviate some pain and stopped the bleeding, allowing me to lift myself and shoot with better accuracy. We knelt back to back to shoot the infected that rose over the edge of the roof.

I could hear cries and hisses of frustration below us, and there must have been some kind of roadblock along the stairs. More infected, however, were pouring over the roof from the sides of the building, and many were starting to get too close for comfort.

There was a click from Andy’s assault rifle, and I knew he was out of ammo before he even switched to his pistol. Zombies continued to run through the fire, but there was no way it could burn for much longer.

“Buddy,” Andy said, his voice quavering, “I wanna thank you for all you’ve done.” I hissed, hoping to silence him, but he continued, chuckling, “I just wanted you to know that.”

I was down a clip, Andy another, but the howls and stampeding feet would not subside. I was close to finally approaching his philosophy of one zombie, one bullet, but I only had four clips left. The fire was starting to subside, and from the cries I heard below, the roadblock was clearing.

I handed my pistol and magazines back to Andy, knowing he would use them better than I ever could. He nodded and accepted them while I stood and snarled at the zombies running towards us. Some slowed, hesitant, while the rest I clawed and slashed down.

Andy continued to fire as I punched and cut the zombies approaching us, and despite the pain in my core, I managed to maintain a decent cushion of space around us.

A circle of bodies started to pile around us. The fresh stench of infected flesh was even more pungent than the smell of rotten infected and it became almost painful to breathe. Andy got down to his last clip, but instead of using it up, he stood and pulled out his fire axe.

“Charlie,” he screamed, “we could use a miracle right now!” He swung, slicing open a zombie. He shoved another aside and split open a skull with the blade. As I broke an infected zombie’s neck, Andy swung and sliced across several infected in one clear sweep.

But there was no way he could keep it up. I could hear him struggling for breath, and at this rate, we would be overrun quickly.

pappaskurtz
01-29-2010, 08:32 PM
My hisses and warnings were no longer driving the infected off. They were too enraged now to care, and some were even starting to make a beeline straight for me! There was no getting out of this now—no hope.

So much mindless hatred. So much hysterical rage. The eyes that approached me burned brighter than even the fire, now extinguished, and they ran with such intensity and single-mindedness that I felt like I was drowning. Every punch, every strike was a desperate plea for air—every cracked spine and broken neck and collapsed ribcage a brief reprieve.

But there was no fighting the inevitable. Andy and I were only two against hundreds—or thousands? Remorse washed over me as I thought of Michelle. I’m so sorry, I thought to her, I failed you…

It must have been because my nose was overwhelmed in death and my ears were deafened from raging adrenaline, but for the first time I could remember, my eyes gave me hope—a flicker of light blinded me, piquing my ears to focus on a distant whirring. Much too fast to be footsteps, and much too high off the ground, it was the miracle we needed.

“Holy ♥♥♥♥!” Andy screamed, cutting down another zombie. “Do you see that chopper!” He started to laugh. “It’s coming for us! It’s coming for us!”

We started to attack with renewed vigor, regaining a cushion of space around us. The helicopter was approaching quickly, with sudden gunfire providing us with aerial support.

“We’re going to drop a ladder,” a deep voice called over a loud speaker. “Hurry! We’ll cover you!”

The air started to stir as the chopper neared. The horde only intensified, and our cushion of space vanished, but the cover fire from the chopper prevented the zombies from overwhelming us.

The helicopter rose over the helipad, which was clear of zombies. “Get on the ladder!” the voice ordered.

Andy cleared a gap for us with another lucky swing, and we shot towards the helipad, leaping over dozens of corpses. I kept the infected off of Andy as he climbed, and once he was high enough, I jumped on the ladder. The helicopter rose, and the infected began to run off the roof to their deaths as they tried to follow us.

We were over another building as the zombies tried to follow us, but the howls were dying away and the rage in the air was turning to despair. Andy made it into the cockpit while I tried to climb as steadily as I could.

“Come on, get up here!” Andy shouted, nearly laughing. “Slow poke!”

I was ecstatic, too, but a fear of heights gripped me just a piercing scream filled my ears. Something rammed into me, knocking me off the ladder, and I felt myself fall.

“No!” Andy cried. I hit the ground sooner than I expected, and I realized that something was on top of me. I kicked, pain surging through my stomach, and the figure flew back, righting itself in a flash.

Another hunter! I braced for another attack, but he did not strike. Instead, he hissed at me and threw something at my feet. Limp and covered in blood, it was a hoodie. The hood popped back, revealing a bullet hole in the center of the hood.

Even without eyes, I could still read grief on the hunter’s face. In an instant, I understood.

I had murdered his friend, and he was here for revenge.

Revenge, or something else? Dear God, could it mean—could he still have a mind? Was he like me, a part of him still human?

Or was he toying with me, knowing I was injured and that he could finish me quickly, or was he trying to tell me something? He continued to snarl at me, but he did not attack.

“Buddy!” Andy shouted.

The chopper had turned, but the other hunter leapt away, leaving the hoodie at my feet. I ran toward the chopper only to be met by a bullet whistling barely past my ear.

“No! Don’t shoot!”

Another bullet struck the roof below me and I leapt behind an exhaust vent, pain rending my abdomen once again and causing me to stumble my landing.

“Please!” I heard Andy sob. “Don’t hurt him! Oh, crap!”

A musty, burning scent caught my nose, and I looked to see that a long tongue had wrapped around one of the helicopter’s landing skids. The chopper struggled to ascend as the escorts in the cockpit tried to shoot the snake zombie, but it was rattling around, preventing any clear shot.

Before I could even think to leap, a rock shot from the earth as a thunderous roar shook the night. The rock smashed the helicopter’s tail rotor, knocking the occupants from the cockpit.

I didn’t even think as I saw Andy fall. I crouched and leapt towards him.

In a miracle, I felt him crash against me and I seized him in my arms, yet I didn’t think of landing. I couldn’t. The air rushed past me as pain shredded my body.

Then blackness.

Keith777
01-29-2010, 08:49 PM
Excellent story. +rep

themarcuslove
01-29-2010, 08:58 PM
^_^ Much better flow here, I like.

Still don't quite get what the big brother was... a tank? (It was throwing cars and concrete...)

Keith777
01-29-2010, 08:59 PM
^_^ Much better flow here, I like.

Still don't quite get what the big brother was... a tank? (It was throwing cars and concrete...)

It's assumed it was a tank, but they just don't call it by the same name as our familiar survivors.

I really loved the way you described the whole event, the desperation, the fear, etc. I enjoyed Buddy's dispatch of the tank, as well.

moby1603
01-29-2010, 10:04 PM
I absolutely love the story's point of view. I want more!

SliceKing
01-29-2010, 10:05 PM
Yes! Loved your adjectives!

rocker25
01-29-2010, 10:45 PM
Tragic ending ftl.

Still, great story. +rep.

L4D Fanatic
01-29-2010, 11:26 PM
Excellent chapter, but they all are. Easily worth the wait. Looking forward to the next.

Chippermonkey
01-29-2010, 11:29 PM
Oh god that ending.

Needs next part now.

immuneoverlord
01-30-2010, 05:02 AM
the only thing i could think of was will the other hunter be an important part of the story is he linked to their past i need next chapter!!!!

trenton160
01-30-2010, 06:31 AM
Moar please. hopefully an entry that wount take a month.

BenHuff
01-30-2010, 08:24 AM
I must say I am quite enjoying this story! Keep up the good work. Also, it reminds me of how player controlled infected can help downed survivors up in versus if they wanted too.

Oh yeah, +Rep.

Neonwarrior
01-30-2010, 03:18 PM
Btw papa, is this the same mercy hospital, because how could you be able to see the tank 2 blocks away from the top?

Keith777
01-30-2010, 03:19 PM
Btw papa, is this the same mercy hospital, because how could you be able to see the tank 2 blocks away from the top?

In a real world situation, you would actually be able to see the streets far far below, in L4D you only see fog. This is passed off as weather in game, so we can just say that it's a clear night in his story.

It generally wouldn't be that hard to see a car-sized hulk zombie running down the street.

Something?
01-30-2010, 04:02 PM
That was really well done dude, very good read

gamerguy2217
01-30-2010, 09:38 PM
I can't wait for the next part!

rocker25
01-30-2010, 09:39 PM
I can't wait for the next part!

I'm pretty sure it's over...
Oh and pappaskurtz, the infected don't reanimate, like the how the Hunter in the last part did. They're still normal people, if not a bit CHARGER OH SHI-

gamerguy2217
01-30-2010, 09:50 PM
I'm pretty sure it's over...
No, on the main post it says "Chapter 6 Rebirth Part 1" It doesn't have a link to it, so i'm 99% sure there will be another part.

rocker25
01-30-2010, 09:52 PM
No, on the main post it says "Chapter 6 Rebirth Part 1" It doesn't have a link to it, so i'm 99% sure there will be another part.

O RLY NAO?

I'll be back.

Imnotbanned
01-30-2010, 10:22 PM
"That's no ending. It's a cliffhanger!" -Obi Want Moarnobi

pappaskurtz
01-31-2010, 01:41 AM
I'm pretty sure it's over...
Oh and pappaskurtz, the infected don't reanimate, like the how the Hunter in the last part did. They're still normal people, if not a bit CHARGER OH SHI-

What do you mean by reanimate? Which Hunter?

Commander 672
01-31-2010, 03:40 AM
I think he thinks that the Hunter at the end of the post was the same as the hunter in the last post.


Honestly dude I can't see a fanfic get any better than this. If it does get better Im requesting somebody publish it into an offical L4D story.

pappaskurtz
02-01-2010, 09:22 AM
Oh, well, I hope it's clear that the hunter that knocks Buddy off the helicopter is not the same hunter that Buddy kills in the hospital. I try not to comment on the plot outside of the story but that's an important detail to note.

l K f
02-01-2010, 12:44 PM
Nothing more to say than these 3 weeks were worth waiting, +rep

Cybercybex
02-01-2010, 08:31 PM
wooot is not yet dead!!! But wut happened to mistahph33r?????? hey pappaskurtz do you get any info on his/her whereabouts???

Now for the 2nd hunter maybe its a friend or somehow a underling from a hunter pack or some sort maybe the hunter that buddy killed must be either part of a pack or a leader of the pack and one of his pack mates wants revenge or wants to kill buddy and get his hoodie as a proof of his ascension to being the pack leader, you know like how the wolves sort out territory,leadership etc.

Well i hope 2 see MOAR and l4d2 finally caught up with the story with the Fire Axe as the starter.