Forum game: Change one word from Meet The Spy

[Biorawr]

Hey so you saw those kick-♥♥♥ forum games by Kozmo of Meet the Soldier and Meet the Engineer right?
(Meet the soldier - http://forums.steampowered.com/forums/showthread.php?t=1714730)
(Meet the engineer - http://forums.steampowered.com/forums/showthread.php?t=1716288)

So I thought its not that hard to start it off, and the Meet the Spy transcript is pretty interesting.

Rules:
Please underline, bold, and make red the word you change for clarity.
Change only one word from the transcript then post it.
If the word recurs throughout the transcript then replace the rest with your chosen word.

Once again, all credit goes to Kozmo, I'm simply making a Meet the Spy version :D

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~

[Shot opens on ringing alarm bell; sirens and klaxons play in the background]
The Administrator: "Intruder Alert! A RED Spy is in the base!"

[Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'RED Spy' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Soldier watching the board]

Soldier: "A RED Spy is in the base!?"

[Intruder Alert begins to play. The Soldier reaches from off-screen and pulls a Shotgun off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Soldier dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "Hut, Hut, Hut!" with every step he takes]

The Administrator: "Protect the briefcase!"

Soldier: "We need to protect the briefcase!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'Briefcase Room' door]

Scout: "Yo, a lil' help here!?"

[The Soldier pushes the Scout aside and begins to 'decode' the combination]

Soldier: "All right, all right, I got it. Stand back son. 1, 1, 1, umm... 1!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-



Heavy: "INCOMING!"

[Heavy shoulder-barges the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the Intelligence Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the briefcase is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the briefcase] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still here!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with the BLU Sniper's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "[B]Mentlegen."

[Meet the Spy' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying the dead Sniper towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the briefcase is safe."

Soldier: "Safe and sound, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill a RED Spy on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a problem.

[He deposits the Sniper's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his back.]

Soldier: "...and a Knife."

[The Scout approaches and removes the knife.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like you!"

[The Scout attempts to manipulate the knife like the Spy, only to cut himself on the finger and drop it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "If you managed to kill them, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And nothing... nothing like the man loose inside this building."

Scout: "What're you? President of his fan club?"

Soldier & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to face the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be your mother!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and the Scout's Mother.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and disbelief]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to f**k us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring your mother will be the second worst thing that happens to you today."

[Right Behind You plays]

[The Soldier and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and shows the Soldier one photo in particular.]

Soldier: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our defenses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the Hydro tunnels. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Engineer. He slides a Electro Sapper across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]

Engineer: "Sentry Down!"

[The BLU Engineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his Pistol, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. The dead Engineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at a target off-screen.]

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to our colleagues!"

[Flash back to the BLU Sniper, now alive and sniping from a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a creaking floorboard, alerting the Sniper who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and the Sniper is ultimately backstabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he could be any one of us..."

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a BLU Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy breaks the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans spectacles.]

Medic: (gasps)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his spectacles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be you! He could be me! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Soldier, Shotgun in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Soldier: "What? It was obvious! [The Soldier pumps his Shotgun, discarding the spent shell.] He's the RED Spy! Watch, he'll turn red any second now..."

[The Soldier and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Soldier prodding the Spy's foot with his Shotgun.]

Soldier: "Any second now... See? Red! Oh, wait...that's blood."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Soldier and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Spy]

Heavy: "So, we still got problem..."

Soldier: "Big problem... alright, who's ready to go find this Spy?"

Spy: "Right behind you."

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the stabbing of the Soldier and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Petite Chou-Fleur plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the Scout's Mother. The RED Spy retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh... ma petite chou-fleur."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's intel in tow.]

[Mike55]

[Shot opens on ringing alarm bell; sirens and klaxons play in the background]
The Administrator: "Intruder Alert! A RED Spy is in the base!"

[Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'RED Spy' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Soldier watching the board]

Soldier: "A RED Spy is in the base!?"

[Intruder Alert begins to play. The Soldier reaches from off-screen and pulls a Shotgun off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Soldier dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "Hut, Hut, Hut!" with every step he takes]

The Administrator: "Protect the briefcase!"

Soldier: "We need to protect the briefcase!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'Briefcase Room' door]

Scout: "Yo, a lil' help here!?"

[The Soldier pushes the Scout aside and begins to 'decode' the combination]

Soldier: "All right, all right, I got it. Stand back son. 1, 1, 1, umm... 1!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-



Heavy: "INCOMING!"

[Heavy shoulder-barges the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the Intelligence Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the briefcase is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the briefcase] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still here!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with the BLU Sniper's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[Meet the Spy' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying the dead Sniper towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the briefcase is safe."

Soldier: "Safe and sound, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill a RED Spy on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a problem.

[He deposits the Sniper's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his back.]

Soldier: "...and a Knife."

[The Scout approaches and removes the knife.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like you!"

[The Scout attempts to manipulate the knife like the Spy, only to cut himself on the finger and drop it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "If you managed to kill them, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And nothing... nothing like the man loose inside this building."

Scout: "What're you? President of his fan club?"

Soldier & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to face the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be your mother!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and the Scout's Mother.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and disbelief]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to f**k us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring your mother will be the second worst thing that happens to you today."

[Right Behind You plays]

[The Soldier and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and shows the Soldier one photo in particular.]

Soldier: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our defenses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the Hydro tunnels. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Engineer. He slides a Electro Sapper across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]

Engineer: "Sentry Down!"

[The BLU Engineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his Pistol, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. The dead Engineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at a target off-screen.]

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to our colleagues!"

[Flash back to the BLU Sniper, now alive and sniping from a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a creaking floorboard, alerting the Sniper who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and the Sniper is ultimately [B]facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he could be any one of us..."

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a BLU Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy breaks the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans spectacles.]

Medic: (gasps)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his spectacles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be you! He could be me! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Soldier, Shotgun in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Soldier: "What? It was obvious! [The Soldier pumps his Shotgun, discarding the spent shell.] He's the RED Spy! Watch, he'll turn red any second now..."

[The Soldier and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Soldier prodding the Spy's foot with his Shotgun.]

Soldier: "Any second now... See? Red! Oh, wait...that's blood."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Soldier and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Spy]

Heavy: "So, we still got problem..."

Soldier: "Big problem... alright, who's ready to go find this Spy?"

Spy: "Right behind you."

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the stabbing of the Soldier and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Petite Chou-Fleur plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the Scout's Mother. The RED Spy retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh... ma petite chou-fleur."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's intel in tow.]

[TheMaster505]

[Shot opens on ringing alarm bell; sirens and klaxons play in the background]
The Administrator: "Intruder Alert! A RED Spy is in the base!"

[Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'RED Spy' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Soldier watching the board]

Soldier: "A RED Spy is in the base!?"

[Intruder Alert begins to play. The Soldier reaches from off-screen and pulls a Shotgun off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Soldier dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "Hut, Hut, Hut!" with every step he takes]

The Administrator: "Protect the briefcase!"

Soldier: "We need to protect the briefcase!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'Briefcase Room' door]

Scout: "Yo, a lil' help here!?"

[The Soldier pushes the Scout aside and begins to 'decode' the combination]

Soldier: "All right, all right, I got it. Stand back son. 1, 1, 1, umm... 1!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-



Heavy: "INCOMING!"

[Heavy shoulder-barges the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the Intelligence Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the briefcase is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the briefcase] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still here!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with the BLU Sniper's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[Meet the Spy' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying the dead Sniper towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the briefcase is safe."

Soldier: "Safe and sound, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill a RED Spy on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a [b]pie.

[He deposits the Sniper's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his back.]

Soldier: "...and a Knife."

[The Scout approaches and removes the knife.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like you!"

[The Scout attempts to manipulate the knife like the Spy, only to cut himself on the finger and drop it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "If you managed to kill them, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And nothing... nothing like the man loose inside this building."

Scout: "What're you? President of his fan club?"

Soldier & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to face the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be your mother!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and the Scout's Mother.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and disbelief]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to f**k us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring your mother will be the second worst thing that happens to you today."

[Right Behind You plays]

[The Soldier and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and shows the Soldier one photo in particular.]

Soldier: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our defenses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the Hydro tunnels. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Engineer. He slides a Electro Sapper across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]

Engineer: "Sentry Down!"

[The BLU Engineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his Pistol, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. The dead Engineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at a target off-screen.]

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to our colleagues!"

[Flash back to the BLU Sniper, now alive and sniping from a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a creaking floorboard, alerting the Sniper who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and the Sniper is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he could be any one of us..."

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a BLU Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy breaks the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans spectacles.]

Medic: (gasps)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his spectacles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be you! He could be me! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Soldier, Shotgun in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Soldier: "What? It was obvious! [The Soldier pumps his Shotgun, discarding the spent shell.] He's the RED Spy! Watch, he'll turn red any second now..."

[The Soldier and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Soldier prodding the Spy's foot with his Shotgun.]

Soldier: "Any second now... See? Red! Oh, wait...that's blood."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Soldier and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Spy]

Heavy: "So, we still got problem..."

Soldier: "Big problem... alright, who's ready to go find this Spy?"

Spy: "Right behind you."

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the stabbing of the Soldier and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Petite Chou-Fleur plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the Scout's Mother. The RED Spy retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh... ma petite chou-fleur."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's intel in tow.]

[Objection]

[Shot opens on ringing alarm bell; sirens and klaxons play in the background]
The Administrator: "Intruder Alert! A RED Spy is in the base!"

[Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'RED Spy' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Soldier watching the board]

Soldier: "A RED Spy is in the base!?"

[Intruder Alert begins to play. The Soldier reaches from off-screen and pulls a Shotgun off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Soldier dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "Hut, Hut, Hut!" with every step he takes]

The Administrator: "Protect the briefcase!"

Soldier: "We need to protect the briefcase!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'Briefcase Room' door]

Scout: "Yo, a lil' help here!?"

[The Soldier pushes the Scout aside and begins to 'decode' the combination]

Soldier: "All right, all right, I got it. Stand back son. 1, 1, 1, umm... 1!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-



Heavy: "INCOMING!"

[Heavy shoulder-barges the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the Intelligence Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the briefcase is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the briefcase] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still here!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with the BLU Sniper's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[Meet the Spy' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying the dead Sniper towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the briefcase is safe."

Soldier: "Safe and sound, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill a RED Spy on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits the Sniper's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his back.]

Soldier: "...and a Knife."

[The Scout approaches and removes the knife.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like you!"

[The Scout attempts to manipulate the knife like the Spy, only to cut himself on the finger and drop it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "If you managed to kill them, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And nothing... nothing like the man loose inside this building."

Scout: "What're you? President of his fan club?"

Soldier & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to face the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be your [B]father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and the Scout's Mother.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and disbelief]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to f**k us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring your mother will be the second worst thing that happens to you today."

[Right Behind You plays]

[The Soldier and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and shows the Soldier one photo in particular.]

Soldier: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our defenses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the Hydro tunnels. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Engineer. He slides a Electro Sapper across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]

Engineer: "Sentry Down!"

[The BLU Engineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his Pistol, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. The dead Engineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at a target off-screen.]

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to our colleagues!"

[Flash back to the BLU Sniper, now alive and sniping from a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a creaking floorboard, alerting the Sniper who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and the Sniper is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he could be any one of us..."

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a BLU Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy breaks the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans spectacles.]

Medic: (gasps)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his spectacles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be you! He could be me! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Soldier, Shotgun in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Soldier: "What? It was obvious! [The Soldier pumps his Shotgun, discarding the spent shell.] He's the RED Spy! Watch, he'll turn red any second now..."

[The Soldier and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Soldier prodding the Spy's foot with his Shotgun.]

Soldier: "Any second now... See? Red! Oh, wait...that's blood."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Soldier and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Spy]

Heavy: "So, we still got problem..."

Soldier: "Big problem... alright, who's ready to go find this Spy?"

Spy: "Right behind you."

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the stabbing of the Soldier and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Petite Chou-Fleur plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the Scout's Mother. The RED Spy retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh... ma petite chou-fleur."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's intel in tow.]

[Biorawr]

[Shot opens on ringing alarm bell; sirens and klaxons play in the background]
The Administrator: "Intruder Alert! A RED Spy is in the base!"

[Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'RED Spy' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Soldier watching the board]

Soldier: "A RED Spy is in the base!?"

[Intruder Alert begins to play. The Soldier reaches from off-screen and pulls a Shotgun off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Soldier dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "Hut, Hut, Hut!" with every step he takes]

The Administrator: "Protect the briefcase!"

Soldier: "We need to protect the briefcase!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'Briefcase Room' door]

Scout: "Yo, a lil' help here!?"

[The Soldier pushes the Scout aside and begins to 'decode' the combination]

Soldier: "All right, all right, I got it. Stand back son. 1, 1, 1, umm... 1!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-



Heavy: "INCOMING!"

[Heavy shoulder-barges the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the Intelligence Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the briefcase is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the briefcase] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still here!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with the BLU Sniper's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[Meet the Spy' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying the dead Sniper towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the briefcase is safe."

Soldier: "Safe and sound, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill a RED Spy on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits the Sniper's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his back.]

Soldier: "...and a Knife."

[The Scout approaches and removes the knife.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like you!"

[The Scout attempts to manipulate the knife like the Spy, only to cut himself on the finger and drop it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "If you managed to kill them, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And nothing... nothing like the man loose inside this building."

Scout: "What're you? President of his fan club?"

Soldier & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to face the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be your father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and the Scout's Mother.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and disbelief]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to f**k us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring your mother will be the second worst thing that happens to you today."

[Right Behind You plays]

[The Soldier and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and shows the Soldier one photo in particular.]

Soldier: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our defenses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the Hydro tunnels. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Engineer. He slides a Electro Sapper across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]

Engineer: "Sentry Down!"

[The BLU Engineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his Pistol, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. The dead Engineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at a target off-screen.]

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to our colleagues!"

[Flash back to the BLU Sniper, now alive and sniping from a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a creaking floorboard, alerting the Sniper who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and the Sniper is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he could be any one of us..."

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a BLU Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy breaks the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans spectacles.]

Medic: (gasps)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his spectacles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be you! He could be me! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Soldier, Shotgun in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Soldier: "What? It was obvious! [The Soldier pumps his Shotgun, discarding the spent shell.] He's the RED Spy! Watch, he'll turn red any second now..."

[The Soldier and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Soldier prodding the Spy's foot with his Shotgun.]

Soldier: "Any second now... See? Red! Oh, wait...that's blood."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Soldier and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Spy]

Heavy: "So, we still got problem..."

Soldier: "Big problem... alright, who's ready to go find this Spy?"

Spy: "Right behind you."

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the stabbing of the Soldier and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Petite Chou-Fleur plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the Scout's Mother. The RED Spy retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh... ma petite chou-fleur."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's [B]pizza box in tow.]

[TDV SilentSnipe]

[Shot opens on ringing alarm bell; sirens and klaxons play in the background]
The Administrator: "Intruder Alert! A RED Spy is in the base!"

[Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'RED Spy' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Soldier watching the board]

Soldier: "A RED Spy is in the base!?"

[Intruder Alert begins to play. The Soldier reaches from off-screen and pulls a Shotgun off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Soldier dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "Hut, Hut, Hut!" with every step he takes]

The Administrator: "Protect the briefcase!"

Soldier: "We need to protect the briefcase!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'Briefcase Room' door]

Scout: "Yo, a lil' help here!?"

[The Soldier pushes the Scout aside and begins to 'decode' the combination]

Soldier: "All right, all right, I got it. Stand back son. 1, 1, 1, umm... 1!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-



Heavy: "INCOMING!"

[Heavy shoulder-barges the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the Intelligence Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the briefcase is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the briefcase] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still here!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with the BLU Sniper's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[Meet the Spy' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying the dead Sniper towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the briefcase is safe."

Soldier: "Safe and sound, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill a RED Spy on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits the Sniper's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his back.]

Soldier: "...and a Knife."

[The Scout approaches and removes the knife.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like you!"

[The Scout attempts to manipulate the knife like the Spy, only to cut himself on the finger and drop it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "If you managed to kill them, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And nothing... nothing like the man loose inside this building."

Scout: "What're you? President of his fan club?"

Soldier & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to face the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be your father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and the Scout's Mother.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and disbelief]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to f**k us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring your mother will be the second worst thing that happens to you today."

[[B]'Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Soldier and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and shows the Soldier one photo in particular.]

Soldier: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our defenses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the Hydro tunnels. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Engineer. He slides a Electro Sapper across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]

Engineer: "Sentry Down!"

[The BLU Engineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his Pistol, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. The dead Engineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at a target off-screen.]

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to our colleagues!"

[Flash back to the BLU Sniper, now alive and sniping from a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a creaking floorboard, alerting the Sniper who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and the Sniper is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he could be any one of us..."

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a BLU Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy breaks the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans spectacles.]

Medic: (gasps)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his spectacles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be you! He could be me! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Soldier, Shotgun in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Soldier: "What? It was obvious! [The Soldier pumps his Shotgun, discarding the spent shell.] He's the RED Spy! Watch, he'll turn red any second now..."

[The Soldier and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Soldier prodding the Spy's foot with his Shotgun.]

Soldier: "Any second now... See? Red! Oh, wait...that's blood."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Soldier and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Spy]

Heavy: "So, we still got problem..."

Soldier: "Big problem... alright, who's ready to go find this Spy?"

Spy: "Right behind you."

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the stabbing of the Soldier and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Petite Chou-Fleur plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the Scout's Mother. The RED Spy retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh... ma petite chou-fleur."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's pizza box in tow.]

[Enigma314]

[Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'RED Spy' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Soldier watching the board]

Soldier: "A RED Spy is in the base!?"

[Intruder Alert begins to play. The Soldier reaches from off-screen and pulls a Shotgun off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Soldier dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "Hut, Hut, Hut!" with every step he takes]

The Administrator: "Protect the pizza box!"

Soldier: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Scout: "Yo, a dispenser here!?"

[The Soldier pushes the Scout aside and begins to 'decode' the combination]

Soldier: "All right, all right, I got it. Stand back son. 1, 1, 1, umm... 1!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Heavy comes around the corner, Sasha in-hand, charging towards the Scout and Soldier]

Heavy: "INCOMING!"

[Heavy shoulder-barges the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the Intelligence Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still here!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with the BLU Sniper's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[Meet the Spy' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying the dead Sniper towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe."

Soldier: "Safe and sound, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill a RED Spy on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits the Sniper's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his back.]

Soldier: "...and a Knife."

[The Scout approaches and removes the knife.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like you!"

[The Scout attempts to manipulate the knife like the Spy, only to cut himself on the finger and drop it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "If you managed to kill them, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And nothing... nothing like the man loose inside this building."

Scout: "What're you? President of his fan club?"

Soldier & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to face the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be your father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and the Scout's Father.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and disbelief]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to f**k us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring your father will be the second worst thing that happens to you today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Soldier and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and shows the Soldier one photo in particular.]

Soldier: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our defenses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the Hydro tunnels. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Engineer. He slides a Electro Sapper across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]

Engineer: "Sentry Down!"

[The BLU Engineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his Pistol, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. The dead Engineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at a target off-screen.]

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to our colleagues!"

[Flash back to the BLU Sniper, now alive and sniping from a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a creaking floorboard, alerting the Sniper who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and the Sniper is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he could be any one of us..."

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a BLU Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy breaks the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans spectacles.]

Medic: (gasps)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his spectacles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be you! He could be me! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Soldier, Shotgun in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Soldier: "What? It was obvious! [The Soldier pumps his Shotgun, discarding the spent shell.] He's the RED Spy! Watch, he'll turn red any second now..."

[The Soldier and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Soldier prodding the Spy's foot with his Shotgun.]

Soldier: "Any second now... See? Red! Oh, wait...that's blood."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Soldier and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Spy]

Heavy: "So, we still got problem..."

Soldier: "Big problem... alright, who's ready to go find this Spy?"

Spy: "Right behind you."

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the stabbing of the Soldier and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Petite Chou-Fleur plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the Scout's Father. The RED Spy retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh... ma petite chou-fleur."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's pizza box in tow.]


also changed the rest of the words "mother" to "father", and "briefcase" to "pizza box" so it makes sense.

[Carinthium]

If we're taking liberties with the rules, I assume I can take them too? I'm trying to clear up a slight hole, after all.

[Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'RED Spy' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Soldier watching the board]

Soldier: "A RED Spy is in the base!?"

[Intruder Alert begins to play. The Soldier reaches from off-screen and pulls a Shotgun off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Soldier dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "Hut, Hut, Hut!" with every step he takes]

The Administrator: "Protect the pizza box!"

Soldier: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Scout: "Yo, a dispenser here!?"

[The Soldier pushes the Scout aside and begins to 'decode' the combination]

Soldier: "All right, all right, I got it. Stand back son. 1, 1, 1, umm... 1!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-



Heavy: "INCOMING!"

[Heavy shoulder-barges the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the Intelligence Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still here!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with the BLU Sniper's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[Meet the Spy' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying the dead Sniper towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, [B]Mentlegen."

Soldier: "Safe and sound, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill a RED Spy on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits the Sniper's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his back.]

Soldier: "...and a Knife."

[The Scout approaches and removes the knife.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like you!"

[The Scout attempts to manipulate the knife like the Spy, only to cut himself on the finger and drop it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "If you managed to kill them, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And nothing... nothing like the man loose inside this building."

Scout: "What're you? President of his fan club?"

Soldier & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to face the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be your father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and the Scout's Father.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and disbelief]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to f**k us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring your father will be the second worst thing that happens to you today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Soldier and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and shows the Soldier one photo in particular.]

Soldier: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our defenses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the Hydro tunnels. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Engineer. He slides a Electro Sapper across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]

Engineer: "Sentry Down!"

[The BLU Engineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his Pistol, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. The dead Engineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at a target off-screen.]

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to our colleagues!"

[Flash back to the BLU Sniper, now alive and sniping from a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a creaking floorboard, alerting the Sniper who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and the Sniper is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he could be any one of us..."

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a BLU Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy breaks the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans spectacles.]

Medic: (gasps)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his spectacles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be you! He could be me! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Soldier, Shotgun in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Soldier: "What? It was obvious! [The Soldier pumps his Shotgun, discarding the spent shell.] He's the RED Spy! Watch, he'll turn red any second now..."

[The Soldier and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Soldier prodding the Spy's foot with his Shotgun.]

Soldier: "Any second now... See? Red! Oh, wait...that's blood."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Soldier and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Spy]

Heavy: "So, we still got problem..."

Soldier: "Big problem... alright, who's ready to go find this Spy?"

Spy: "Right behind you."

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the stabbing of the Soldier and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Petite Chou-Fleur plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the Scout's Father. The RED Spy retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh... ma petite chou-fleur."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's pizza box in tow.]

[Cyber-Ty]

This has the same problem as the other threads did, they are just too dang long for anything other than specific little pieces to be changed, and the changes become less noticable and less lulzy, and it's just tl:dr in a nutshell.

[Rawrzkun]

[Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'RED Spy' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Soldier watching the board]

Soldier: "A RED Spy is in the base!?"

[Intruder Alert begins to play. The Soldier reaches from off-screen and pulls a Shotgun off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Soldier dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "Hut, Hut, Hut!" with every step he takes]

The Administrator: "Protect the pizza box!"

Soldier: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Scout: "Yo, a dispenser here!?"

[The Soldier pushes the Scout aside and begins to 'decode' the combination]

Soldier: "All right, all right, I got it. Stand back son. 1, 1, 1, umm... 1!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Heavy comes around the corner, Sasha in-hand, charging towards the Scout and Soldier]

Heavy: "INCOMING!"

[Heavy shoulder-barges the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the Intelligence Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still here!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with the BLU Sniper's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[Meet the Spy' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying the dead Sniper towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Soldier: "Safe and sound, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill a RED Spy on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits the Sniper's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his back.]

Soldier: "...and a Knife."

[The Scout approaches and removes the knife.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like you!"

[The Scout attempts to manipulate the knife like the Spy, only to cut himself on the finger and drop it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "If you managed to kill them, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And nothing... nothing like the man loose inside this building."

Scout: "What're you? President of his fan club?"

Soldier & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to face the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be your father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and the Scout's Father.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and disbelief]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to f**k us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring your father will be the second worst thing that happens to you today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Soldier and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and shows the Soldier one photo in particular.]

Soldier: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our defenses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the Hydro tunnels. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Engineer. He slides a Scout's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]

Engineer: "Sentry Down!"

[The BLU Engineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his Pistol, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. The dead Engineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at a target off-screen.]

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to our colleagues!"

[Flash back to the BLU Sniper, now alive and sniping from a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a creaking floorboard, alerting the Sniper who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and the Sniper is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he could be any one of us..."

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a BLU Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy breaks the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans spectacles.]

Medic: (gasps)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his spectacles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be you! He could be me! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Soldier, Shotgun in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Soldier: "What? It was obvious! [The Soldier pumps his Shotgun, discarding the spent shell.] He's the RED Spy! Watch, he'll turn red any second now..."

[The Soldier and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Soldier prodding the Spy's foot with his Shotgun.]

Soldier: "Any second now... See? Red! Oh, wait...that's blood."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Soldier and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Spy]

Heavy: "So, we still got problem..."

Soldier: "Big problem... alright, who's ready to go find this Spy?"

Spy: "Right behind you."

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the stabbing of the Soldier and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Petite Chou-Fleur plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the Scout's Father. The RED Spy retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh... ma petite chou-fleur."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's pizza box in tow.]

[sarttan]

[Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'RED Spy' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Soldier watching the board]

Soldier: "A RED Spy is in the base!?"

[Intruder Alert begins to play. The Soldier reaches from off-screen and pulls a Shotgun off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Soldier dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "Hut, Hut, Hut!" with every step he takes]

The Administrator: "Protect the pizza box!"

Soldier: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Scout: "Yo, a dispenser here!?"

[The Soldier pushes the Scout aside and begins to 'decode' the combination]

Soldier: "All right, all right, I got it. Stand back son. 1, 1, 1, umm... 1!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Heavy comes around the corner, Sasha in-hand, charging towards the Scout and Soldier]

Heavy: "INCOMING!"

[Heavy shoulder-barges the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the Intelligence Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still here!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with the BLU Sniper's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[Meet the spy' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying the dead Sniper towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Soldier: "Safe and sound, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill a RED Spy on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits the Sniper's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his back.]

Soldier: "...and a Knife."

[The Scout approaches and removes the knife.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[The Scout attempts to manipulate the knife like the Spy, only to cut himself on the finger and drop it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "If you managed to kill them, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And nothing... nothing like the man loose inside this building."

Scout: "What're you? President of his fan club?"

Soldier & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to face the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be your father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and the Scout's Father.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and disbelief]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to f**k us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring your father will be the second worst thing that happens to you today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Soldier and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and shows the Soldier one photo in particular.]

Soldier: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our defenses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the Hydro tunnels. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Engineer. He slides a Scout's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]

Engineer: "Sentry Down!"

[The BLU Engineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his Pistol, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. The dead Engineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at a target off-screen.]

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to our colleagues!"

[Flash back to the BLU Sniper, now alive and sniping from a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a creaking floorboard, alerting the Sniper who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and the Sniper is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he could be any one of us..."

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a BLU Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy breaks the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans spectacles.]

Medic: (gasps)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his spectacles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be you! He could be me! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Soldier, Shotgun in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Soldier: "What? It was obvious! [The Soldier pumps his Shotgun, discarding the spent shell.] He's the RED Spy! Watch, he'll turn red any second now..."

[The Soldier and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Soldier prodding the Spy's foot with his Shotgun.]

Soldier: "Any second now... See? Red! Oh, wait...that's blood."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Soldier and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Spy]

Heavy: "So, we still got problem..."

Soldier: "Big problem... alright, who's ready to go find this Spy?"

Spy: "Right behind you."

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the stabbing of the Soldier and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Petite Chou-Fleur plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the Scout's Father. The RED Spy retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh... ma petite chou-fleur."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's pizza box in tow.]

[Biorawr]

[Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'RED Spy' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Soldier watching the board]

Soldier: "A RED Spy is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Soldier reaches from off-screen and pulls a Shotgun off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Soldier dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "Hut, Hut, Hut!" with every step he takes]

The Administrator: "Protect the pizza box!"

Soldier: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Scout: "Yo, a dispenser here!?"

[The Soldier pushes the Scout aside and begins to 'decode' the combination]

Soldier: "All right, all right, I got it. Stand back son. 1, 1, 1, umm... 1!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Heavy comes around the corner, Sasha in-hand, charging towards the Scout and Soldier]

Heavy: "INCOMING!"

[Heavy shoulder-barges the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the Intelligence Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still here!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with the BLU Sniper's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[Meet the spy' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying the dead Sniper towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Soldier: "Safe and sound, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill a RED Spy on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits the Sniper's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his back.]

Soldier: "...and a Knife."

[The Scout approaches and removes the knife.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[The Scout attempts to manipulate the knife like the Spy, only to cut himself on the finger and drop it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "If you managed to kill them, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And nothing... nothing like the man loose inside this building."

Scout: "What're you? President of his fan club?"

Soldier & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to face the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be your father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and the Scout's Father.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and disbelief]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to f**k us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring your father will be the second worst thing that happens to you today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Soldier and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and shows the Soldier one photo in particular.]

Soldier: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our defenses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the Hydro tunnels. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Engineer. He slides a Scout's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]

Engineer: "Sentry Down!"

[The BLU Engineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his Pistol, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. The dead Engineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at a target off-screen.]

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to our colleagues!"

[Flash back to the BLU Sniper, now alive and sniping from a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a creaking floorboard, alerting the Sniper who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and the Sniper is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he could be any one of us..."

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a BLU Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy breaks the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans spectacles.]

Medic: (gasps)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his spectacles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be you! He could be me! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Soldier, Shotgun in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Soldier: "What? It was obvious! [The Soldier pumps his Shotgun, discarding the spent shell.] He's the RED Spy! Watch, he'll turn red any second now..."

[The Soldier and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Soldier prodding the Spy's foot with his Shotgun.]

Soldier: "Any second now... See? Red! Oh, wait...that's blood."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Soldier and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Spy]

Heavy: "So, we still got problem..."

Soldier: "Big problem... alright, who's ready to go find this Spy?"

Spy: "Right behind you."

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the stabbing of the Soldier and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Petite Chou-Fleur plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the Scout's Father. The RED Spy retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh... ma petite chou-fleur."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's pizza box in tow.]

[SolidSpeerlaiye]

[Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'RED Spy' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Soldier watching the board]

Soldier: "A RED Spy is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Soldier reaches from off-screen and pulls a Shotgun off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Soldier dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "Hut, Hut, Hut!" with every step he takes]

The Administrator: "Protect the pizza box!"

Soldier: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Scout: "Yo, a dispenser here!?"

[The Soldier pushes the Scout aside and begins to 'decode' the combination]

Soldier: "All right, all right, I got it. Stand back son. 1, 1, 1, umm... 1!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Heavy comes around the corner, Sasha in-hand, charging towards the Scout and Soldier]

Heavy: "INCOMING!"

[Heavy shoulder-barges the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the Intelligence Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still here!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with the BLU Sniper's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[Meet the spy' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying the dead Sniper towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Soldier: "Safe and sound, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill a RED Spy on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits the Sniper's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his back.]

Soldier: "...and a Cake."

[The Scout approaches and removes the knife.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[The Scout attempts to manipulate the knife like the Spy, only to cut himself on the finger and drop it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "If you managed to kill them, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And nothing... nothing like the man loose inside this building."

Scout: "What're you? President of his fan club?"

Soldier & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to face the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be your father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and the Scout's Father.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and disbelief]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to f**k us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring your father will be the second worst thing that happens to you today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Soldier and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and shows the Soldier one photo in particular.]

Soldier: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our defenses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the Hydro tunnels. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Engineer. He slides a Scout's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]

Engineer: "Sentry Down!"

[The BLU Engineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his Pistol, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. The dead Engineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at a target off-screen.]

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to our colleagues!"

[Flash back to the BLU Sniper, now alive and sniping from a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a creaking floorboard, alerting the Sniper who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and the Sniper is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he could be any one of us..."

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a BLU Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy breaks the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans spectacles.]

Medic: (gasps)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his spectacles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be you! He could be me! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Soldier, Shotgun in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Soldier: "What? It was obvious! [The Soldier pumps his Shotgun, discarding the spent shell.] He's the RED Spy! Watch, he'll turn red any second now..."

[The Soldier and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Soldier prodding the Spy's foot with his Shotgun.]

Soldier: "Any second now... See? Red! Oh, wait...that's blood."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Soldier and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Spy]

Heavy: "So, we still got problem..."

Soldier: "Big problem... alright, who's ready to go find this Spy?"

Spy: "Right behind you."

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the stabbing of the Soldier and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Petite Chou-Fleur plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the Scout's Father. The RED Spy retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh... ma petite chou-fleur."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's pizza box in tow.]

[Cozoi]

[Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'RED Spy' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Soldier watching the board]

Soldier: "A RED Spy is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Soldier reaches from off-screen and pulls a Shotgun off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Soldier dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "Hut, Hut, Hut!" with every step he takes]

The Administrator: "Protect the pizza box!"

Soldier: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Scout: "Yo, a dispenser here!?"

[The Soldier pushes the Scout aside and begins to 'decode' the combination]

Soldier: "All right, all right, I got it. Stand back son. 1, 1, 1, umm... 1!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-



Heavy: "INCOMING!"

[Heavy shoulder-barges the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the Intelligence Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still here!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with the BLU Sniper's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[Meet the spy' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying the dead Sniper towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Soldier: "Safe and sound, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill a RED Spy on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits the Sniper's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his back.]

Soldier: "...and a Cake."

[The Scout approaches and removes the knife.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[The Scout attempts to manipulate the knife like the Spy, only to cut himself on the finger and drop it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "If you managed to kill them, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And nothing... nothing like the man loose inside this building."

Scout: "What're you? President of his fan club?"

Soldier & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to face the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be your father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and the Scout's Father.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and disbelief]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to f**k us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring your father will be the second worst thing that happens to you today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Soldier and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and shows the Soldier one photo in particular.]

Soldier: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our defenses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the Hydro tunnels. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Engineer. He slides a Scout's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]

Engineer: "Sentry Down!"

[The BLU Engineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his Pistol, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. The dead Engineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at a target off-screen.]

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to our colleagues!"

[Flash back to the BLU Sniper, now alive and sniping from a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a creaking floorboard, alerting the Sniper who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and the Sniper is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he could be any one of us..."

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a BLU Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy breaks the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans spectacles.]

Medic: (gasps)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his spectacles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be you! He could be me! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Soldier, Shotgun in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Soldier: "What? It was obvious! [The Soldier pumps his Shotgun, discarding the spent shell.] He's the RED Spy! Watch, he'll turn red any second now..."

[The Soldier and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Soldier prodding the Spy's foot with his Shotgun.]

Soldier: "Any second now... See? Red! Oh, wait...that's [B]Gabe Newell."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Soldier and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Spy]

Heavy: "So, we still got problem..."

Soldier: "Big problem... alright, who's ready to go find this Spy?"

Spy: "Right behind you."

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the stabbing of the Soldier and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Petite Chou-Fleur plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the Scout's Father. The RED Spy retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh... ma petite chou-fleur."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's pizza box in tow.]

5char

[OisinLoke]

Originally Posted by SolidSpeerlaiye View Post
[Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'RED Spy' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Soldier watching the board]

Soldier: "A RED Spy is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Soldier reaches from off-screen and pulls a Shotgun off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Soldier dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "Hut, Hut, Hut!" with every step he takes]

The Administrator: "Protect the pizza box!"

Soldier: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Scout: "Yo, a dispenser here!?"

[The Soldier pushes the Scout aside and begins to 'decode' the combination]

Soldier: "All right, all right, I got it. Stand back son. 1, 1, 1, umm... 1!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-



Heavy: "INCOMING!"

[Heavy shoulder-barges the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the Intelligence Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still here!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with the BLU Sniper's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[Meet the spy' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying the dead Sniper towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Soldier: "Safe and sound, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill a RED Spy on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits the Sniper's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his back.]

Soldier: "...and a Cake."

[The Scout approaches and removes the knife.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[The Scout attempts to manipulate the knife like the Spy, only to cut himself on the finger and drop it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "If you managed to kill them, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And nothing... nothing like the man loose inside this building."

Scout: "What're you? President of his fan club?"

Soldier & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to face the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be your father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and the Scout's Father.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and disbelief]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to f**k us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring your father will be the second worst thing that happens to you today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Soldier and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and shows the Soldier one photo in particular.]

Soldier: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our defenses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the Hydro tunnels. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Engineer. He slides a Scout's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]

Engineer: "Sentry Down!"

[The BLU Engineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his Pistol, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. The dead Engineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at a target off-screen.]

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to our colleagues!"

[Flash back to the BLU Sniper, now alive and sniping from a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a creaking floorboard, alerting the Sniper who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and the Sniper is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he could be any one of us..."

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a BLU Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy breaks the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans spectacles.]

Medic: [B](Dances)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his spectacles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be you! He could be me! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Soldier, Shotgun in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Soldier: "What? It was obvious! [The Soldier pumps his Shotgun, discarding the spent shell.] He's the RED Spy! Watch, he'll turn red any second now..."

[The Soldier and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Soldier prodding the Spy's foot with his Shotgun.]

Soldier: "Any second now... See? Red! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Soldier and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Spy]

Heavy: "So, we still got problem..."

Soldier: "Big problem... alright, who's ready to go find this Spy?"

Spy: "Right behind you."

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the stabbing of the Soldier and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Petite Chou-Fleur plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the Scout's Father. The RED Spy retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh... ma petite chou-fleur."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's pizza box in tow.]

[el_pesca]

[Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'RED Spy' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Soldier watching the board]

Soldier: "A RED Spy is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Soldier reaches from off-screen and pulls a Shotgun off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Soldier dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "Hut, Hut, Hut!" with every step he takes]

The Administrator: "Protect the pizza box!"

Soldier: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Scout: "Yo, a dispenser here!?"

[The Soldier pushes the Scout aside and begins to 'decode' the combination]

Soldier: "All right, all right, I got it. Stand back son. 1, 1, 1, umm... 1!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Heavy comes around the corner, Sasha in-hand, charging towards the Scout and Soldier]

Heavy: "INCOMING!"

[Heavy shoulder-barges the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the Intelligence Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still here!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with the BLU Sniper's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[Meet the spy' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying the dead Sniper towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Soldier: "Safe and sound, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill a RED Spy on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits the Sniper's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his back.]

Soldier: "...and a Cake."

[The Scout approaches and removes the knife.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[The Scout attempts to manipulate the knife like the Spy, only to cut himself on the finger and drop it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "If you managed to kill them, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And nothing... nothing like the man loose inside this building."

Scout: "What're you? President of his fan club?"

Soldier & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to face the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be your father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and the Scout's Father.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and disbelief]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to f**k us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring your father will be the second worst thing that happens to you today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Soldier and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and shows the Soldier one photo in particular.]

Soldier: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our defenses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the Hydro tunnels. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Vagineer. He slides a Scout's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]

Vagineer: "Sentry Down!"

[The BLU Engineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his Pistol, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. The dead Vagineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at a target off-screen.]

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to our colleagues!"

[Flash back to the BLU Sniper, now alive and sniping from a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a creaking floorboard, alerting the Sniper who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and the Sniper is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he could be any one of us..."

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a BLU Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy breaks the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans spectacles.]

Medic: (Dances)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his spectacles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be you! He could be me! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Soldier, Shotgun in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Soldier: "What? It was obvious! [The Soldier pumps his Shotgun, discarding the spent shell.] He's the RED Spy! Watch, he'll turn red any second now..."

[The Soldier and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Soldier prodding the Spy's foot with his Shotgun.]

Soldier: "Any second now... See? Red! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Soldier and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Spy]

Heavy: "So, we still got problem..."

Soldier: "Big problem... alright, who's ready to go find this Spy?"

Spy: "Right behind you."

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the stabbing of the Soldier and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Petite Chou-Fleur plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the Scout's Father. The RED Spy retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh... ma petite chou-fleur."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's pizza box in tow.]

[iSmile]

[Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'RED Spy' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Soldier watching the board]

Soldier: "A RED Spy is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Soldier reaches from off-screen and pulls a Shotgun off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Soldier dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "Hut, Hut, Hut!" with every step he takes]

The Administrator: "Protect the pizza box!"

Soldier: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Scout: "Yo, a dispenser here!?"

[The Soldier pushes the Scout aside and begins to 'decode' the combination]

Soldier: "All right, all right, I got it. Stand back son. 1, 1, 1, umm... 1!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Heavy comes around the corner, Sasha in-hand, charging towards the Scout and Soldier]

Heavy: "INCOMING!"

[Heavy shoulder-barges the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the Intelligence Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still here!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with the BLU Sniper's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[Meet the spy' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying the dead Sniper towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Soldier: "Safe and sound, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill a RED Spy on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits the Sniper's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his back.]

Soldier: "...and a Cake."

[The Scout approaches and removes the knife.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[The Scout attempts to manipulate the knife like the Spy, only to cut himself on the finger and drop it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "If you managed to kill them, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And nothing... nothing like the man loose inside this building."

Scout: "What're you? President of his fan club?"

Soldier & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to face the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be your father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and the Scout's Father.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and disbelief]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to f**k us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring your father will be the second worst thing that happens to you today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Soldier and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and shows the Soldier one photo in particular.]

Soldier: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our defenses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the Hydro tunnels. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Engineer. He slides a Scout's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]

Engineer: "Sentry Down!"

[The BLU Engineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his Pistol, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. The dead Engineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at a target off-screen.]

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to our colleagues!"

[Flash back to the BLU Sniper, now alive and sniping from a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a creaking floorboard, alerting the Sniper who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and the Sniper is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he could be any one of us..."

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a BLU Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy breaks the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans spectacles.]

Medic: (Dances)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his spectacles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be you! He could be me! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Soldier, Shotgun in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Soldier: "What? It was obvious! [The Soldier pumps his Shotgun, discarding the spent shell.] He's the Scout's Mother! Watch, he'll turn red any second now..."

[The Soldier and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Soldier prodding the Spy's foot with his Shotgun.]

Soldier: "Any second now... See? Red! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Soldier and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Spy]

Heavy: "So, we still got problem..."

Soldier: "Big problem... alright, who's ready to go find this Spy?"

Spy: "Right behind you."

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the stabbing of the Soldier and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Petite Chou-Fleur plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the Scout's Father. The RED Spy retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh... ma petite chou-fleur."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's pizza box in tow.]

[Lilgreenman]

[Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'RED Spy' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Soldier watching the board]

Soldier: "A RED Spy is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Soldier reaches from off-screen and pulls a Shotgun off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Soldier dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "Hut, Hut, Hut!" with every step he takes]

The Administrator: "Protect the pizza box!"

Soldier: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Scout: "Yo, a dispenser here!?"

[The Soldier pushes the Scout aside and begins to 'decode' the combination]

Soldier: "All right, all right, I got it. Stand back son. 1, 1, 1, umm... 1!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-



Heavy: "INCOMING!"

[Heavy shoulder-barges the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the Intelligence Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still here!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with the BLU Sniper's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[Meet the spy' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying the dead Sniper towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Soldier: "Safe and sound, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill a RED Spy on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits the Sniper's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his back.]

Soldier: "...and a Cake."

[The Scout approaches and removes the knife.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[The Scout attempts to manipulate the knife like the Spy, only to cut himself on the finger and drop it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "If you managed to kill them, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And nothing... nothing like the man loose inside this building."

Scout: "What're you? President of his fan club?"

Soldier & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to face the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be your father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and the Scout's Father.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and disbelief]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to f**k us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring your father will be the second worst thing that happens to you today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Soldier and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and shows the Soldier one photo in particular.]

Soldier: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our defenses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the Hydro tunnels. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Engineer. He slides a Scout's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]

Engineer: "Sentry Down!"

[The BLU Engineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his Pistol, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. The dead Engineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at a target off-screen.]

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to our colleagues!"

[Flash back to the BLU Sniper, now alive and sniping from a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a creaking floorboard, alerting the Sniper who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and the Sniper is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he could be any one of us..."

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a BLU Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy breaks the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans spectacles.]

Medic: (Dances)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his spectacles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be you! He could be me! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Soldier, Shotgun in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Soldier: "What? It was obvious! [The Soldier pumps his Shotgun, discarding the spent shell.] He's the Scout's Mother! Watch, he'll turn red any second now..."

[The Soldier and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Soldier prodding the Spy's foot with his Shotgun.]

Soldier: "Any second now... See? Red! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Soldier and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Spy]

Heavy: "So, we still got problem..."

Soldier: "Big problem... alright, who's ready to go find this Spy?"

Spy: "[B]Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the stabbing of the Soldier and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Petite Chou-Fleur plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the Scout's Father. The RED Spy retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh... ma petite chou-fleur."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's pizza box in tow.]

[el_pesca]

Just a quick update to the Vagineer's line so he looks a lot more like the meme, because we all know he spells the words backwards:






[Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'RED Spy' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Soldier watching the board]

Soldier: "A RED Spy is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Soldier reaches from off-screen and pulls a Shotgun off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Soldier dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "Hut, Hut, Hut!" with every step he takes]

The Administrator: "Protect the pizza box!"

Soldier: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Scout: "Yo, a dispenser here!?"

[The Soldier pushes the Scout aside and begins to 'decode' the combination]

Soldier: "All right, all right, I got it. Stand back son. 1, 1, 1, umm... 1!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-



Heavy: "INCOMING!"

[Heavy shoulder-barges the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the Intelligence Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still here!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with the BLU Sniper's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[Meet the spy' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying the dead Sniper towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Soldier: "Safe and sound, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill a RED Spy on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits the Sniper's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his back.]

Soldier: "...and a Cake."

[The Scout approaches and removes the knife.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[The Scout attempts to manipulate the knife like the Spy, only to cut himself on the finger and drop it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "If you managed to kill them, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And nothing... nothing like the man loose inside this building."

Scout: "What're you? President of his fan club?"

Soldier & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to face the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be your father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and the Scout's Father.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and disbelief]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to f**k us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring your father will be the second worst thing that happens to you today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Soldier and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and shows the Soldier one photo in particular.]

Soldier: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our defenses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the Hydro tunnels. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Vagineer. He slides a Scout's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]

Vagineer: [B]"Yrtnes Nwod!"

[The BLU Vagineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his Pistol, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. The dead Vagineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at a target off-screen.]

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to our colleagues!"

[Flash back to the BLU Sniper, now alive and sniping from a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a creaking floorboard, alerting the Sniper who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and the Sniper is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he could be any one of us..."

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a BLU Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy breaks the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans spectacles.]

Medic: (Dances)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his spectacles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be you! He could be me! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Soldier, Shotgun in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Soldier: "What? It was obvious! [The Soldier pumps his Shotgun, discarding the spent shell.] He's the Scout's Mother! Watch, he'll turn red any second now..."

[The Soldier and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Soldier prodding the Spy's foot with his Shotgun.]

Soldier: "Any second now... See? Red! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Soldier and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Spy]

Heavy: "So, we still got problem..."

Soldier: "Big problem... alright, who's ready to go find this Spy?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the stabbing of the Soldier and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Petite Chou-Fleur plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the Scout's Father. The RED Spy retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh... ma petite chou-fleur."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's pizza box in tow.]

[Lilgreenman]

Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'RED Spy' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Soldier watching the board]

Soldier: "A RED Spy is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Soldier reaches from off-screen and pulls a Shotgun off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Soldier dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "Hut, Hut, Hut!" with every step he takes]

The Administrator: "Protect the pizza box!"

Soldier: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Scout: "Yo, a dispenser here!?"

[The Soldier pushes the Scout aside and begins to 'decode' the combination]

Soldier: "All right, all right, I got it. Stand back son. 1, 1, 1, umm... 1!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Heavy comes around the corner, Sasha in-hand, charging towards the Scout and Soldier]

Heavy: "INCOMING!"

[Heavy shoulder-barges the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the Intelligence Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still here!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with the BLU Sniper's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[Meet the spy' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying the dead Sniper towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Soldier: "Safe and sound, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill a RED Spy on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits the Sniper's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his back.]

Soldier: "...and a Cake."

[The Scout approaches and removes the knife.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[The Scout attempts to manipulate the knife like the Spy, only to cut himself on the finger and drop it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "If you managed to kill them, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And nothing... nothing like the man loose inside this building."

Scout: "What're you? President of his fan club?"

Soldier & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to face the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be your father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and the Scout's Father.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and disbelief]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to f**k us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring your father will be the second worst thing that happens to you today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Soldier and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and shows the Soldier one photo in particular.]

Soldier: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our defenses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the Hydro tunnels. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Vagineer. He slides a Scout's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]

Vagineer: "Yrtnes Nwod!"

[The BLU Vagineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his Pistol, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. The dead Vagineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at a target off-screen.]

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to our colleagues!"

[Flash back to the BLU Sniper, now alive and sniping from a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a creaking floorboard, alerting the Sniper who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and the Sniper is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he could be any one of us..."

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a BLU Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy breaks the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans spectacles.]

Medic: (Dances)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his spectacles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be you! He could be me! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Soldier, Shotgun in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Soldier: "What? It was obvious! [The Soldier pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh.] He's the Scout's Mother! Watch, he'll turn red any second now..."

[The Soldier and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Soldier prodding the Spy's foot with his Shotgun.]

Soldier: "Any second now... See? Red! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Soldier and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Spy]

Heavy: "So, we still got problem..."

Soldier: "Big problem... alright, who's ready to go find this Spy?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the stabbing of the Soldier and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Petite Chou-Fleur plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the Scout's Father. The RED Spy retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh... ma petite chou-fleur."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's pizza box in tow.]

[IAmKram]

Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'RED Spy' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Soldier watching the board]

Soldier: "A RED Spy is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Soldier reaches from off-screen and pulls a Shotgun off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Soldier dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "Hut, Hut, Hut!" with every step he takes]

The Administrator: "Protect the pizza box!"

Soldier: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Scout: "Yo, a dispenser here!?"

[The Soldier pushes the Scout aside and begins to 'decode' the combination]

Soldier: "All right, all right, I got it. Stand back son. 1, 1, 1, umm... 1!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Heavy comes around the corner, Sasha in-hand, charging towards the Scout and Soldier]

Heavy: "INCOMING!"

[Heavy shoulder-barges the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the Intelligence Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still here!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with the BLU Sniper's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[Meet the spy' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying the dead Sniper towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Soldier: "Safe and sound, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill a RED Spy on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits the Sniper's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his back.]

Soldier: "...and a Cake."

[The Scout approaches and removes the knife.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[The Scout attempts to manipulate the knife like the Spy, only to cut himself on the finger and drop it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "If you managed to kill them, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And nothing... nothing like the man loose inside this building."

Scout: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Soldier & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to face the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be your father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and the Scout's Father.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and disbelief]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to f**k us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring your father will be the second worst thing that happens to you today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Soldier and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and shows the Soldier one photo in particular.]

Soldier: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our defenses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the Hydro tunnels. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Vagineer. He slides a Scout's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]

Vagineer: "Yrtnes Nwod!"

[The BLU Vagineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his Pistol, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. The dead Vagineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at a target off-screen.]

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to our colleagues!"

[Flash back to the BLU Sniper, now alive and sniping from a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a creaking floorboard, alerting the Sniper who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and the Sniper is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he could be any one of us..."

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a BLU Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy breaks the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans spectacles.]

Medic: (Dances)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his spectacles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be you! He could be me! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Soldier, Shotgun in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Soldier: "What? It was obvious! [The Soldier pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh.] He's the Scout's Mother! Watch, he'll turn red any second now..."

[The Soldier and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Soldier prodding the Spy's foot with his Shotgun.]

Soldier: "Any second now... See? Red! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Soldier and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Spy]

Heavy: "So, we still got problem..."

Soldier: "Big problem... alright, who's ready to go find this Spy?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the stabbing of the Soldier and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Petite Chou-Fleur plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the Scout's Father. The RED Spy retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh... ma petite chou-fleur."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's pizza box in tow.]

[up_high_666]

Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'RED Spy' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Soldier watching the board]

Soldier: "A RED Spy is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Soldier reaches from off-screen and pulls a Shotgun off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Soldier dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "Hut, Hut, Hut!" with every step he takes]

The Administrator: "Protect the pizza box!"

Soldier: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Scout: "Yo, a dispenser here!?"

[The Soldier pushes the Scout aside and begins to 'decode' the combination]

Soldier: "All right, all right, I got it. Stand back son. 1, 1, 1, umm... 1!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Heavy comes around the corner, Sasha in-hand, charging towards the Scout and Soldier]

Heavy: "INCOMING!"

[Heavy shoulder-barges the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the Intelligence Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still here!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with the BLU Sniper's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[Meet the spy' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying the dead Sniper towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Soldier: "Safe and sound, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill a RED Spy on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits the Sniper's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his back.]

Soldier: "...and a Cake."

[The Scout approaches and removes the knife.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[The Scout attempts to manipulate the knife like the Spy, only to cut himself on the finger and drop it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "If you managed to kill them, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And nothing... nothing like the man loose inside this building."

Scout: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Soldier & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to face the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be your father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and the Scout's Father.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and disbelief]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to f**k us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring your father will be the second worst thing that happens to you today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Soldier and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and shows the Soldier one photo in particular.]

Soldier: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our defenses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the Hydro tunnels. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Vagineer. He slides a Scout's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]

Vagineer: "Yrtnes Nwod!"

[The BLU Vagineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his Pistol, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. The dead Vagineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at a target off-screen.]

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to our colleagues!"

[Flash back to the BLU Sniper, now alive and sniping from a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a creaking floorboard, alerting the Sniper who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and the Sniper is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he could be any one of us..."

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a BLU Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy breaks the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans spectacles.]

Medic: (Dances)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his spectacles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be you! He could be me! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Soldier, Shotgun in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Soldier: "What? It was obvious! [The Soldier pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh.] He's the Scout's Mother! Watch, he'll turn red any second now..."

[The Soldier and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Soldier prodding the Spy's foot with his Shotgun.]

Soldier: "Any second now... See? Red! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Soldier and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron]

Heavy: "So, we still got problem..."

Soldier: "Big problem... alright, who's ready to go find this Spy?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the stabbing of the Soldier and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Petite Chou-Fleur plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the Scout's Father. The RED Spy retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh... ma petite chou-fleur."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's pizza box in tow.]

[Your Enemy]

Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'RED Spy' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Soldier watching the board]

Soldier: "A RED Spy is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Soldier reaches from off-screen and pulls a Shotgun off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Soldier dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "Hut, Hut, Hut!" with every step he takes]

The Administrator: "Protect the pizza box!"

Soldier: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Scout: "Yo, a dispenser here!?"

[The Soldier pushes the Scout aside and begins to 'decode' the combination]

Soldier: "All right, all right, I got it. Stand back son. 5, 6, 7, umm... 8!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Heavy comes around the corner, Sasha in-hand, charging towards the Scout and Soldier]

Heavy: "INCOMING!"

[Heavy shoulder-barges the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the Intelligence Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still here!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with the BLU Sniper's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[Meet the spy' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying the dead Sniper towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Soldier: "Safe and sound, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill a RED Spy on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits the Sniper's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his back.]

Soldier: "...and a Cake."

[The Scout approaches and removes the knife.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[The Scout attempts to manipulate the knife like the Spy, only to cut himself on the finger and drop it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "If you managed to kill them, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And nothing... nothing like the man loose inside this building."

Scout: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Soldier & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to face the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be your father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and the Scout's Father.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and disbelief]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to f**k us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring your father will be the second worst thing that happens to you today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Soldier and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and shows the Soldier one photo in particular.]

Soldier: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our defenses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the Hydro tunnels. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Vagineer. He slides a Scout's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]

Vagineer: "Yrtnes Nwod!"

[The BLU Vagineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his Pistol, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. The dead Vagineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at a target off-screen.]

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to our colleagues!"

[Flash back to the BLU Sniper, now alive and sniping from a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a creaking floorboard, alerting the Sniper who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and the Sniper is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he could be any one of us..."

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a BLU Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy breaks the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans spectacles.]

Medic: (Dances)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his spectacles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be you! He could be me! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Soldier, Shotgun in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Soldier: "What? It was obvious! [The Soldier pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh.] He's the Scout's Mother! Watch, he'll turn red any second now..."

[The Soldier and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Soldier prodding the Spy's foot with his Shotgun.]

Soldier: "Any second now... See? Red! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Soldier and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron]

Heavy: "So, we still got problem..."

Soldier: "Big problem... alright, who's ready to go find this Spy?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the stabbing of the Soldier and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Petite Chou-Fleur plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the Scout's Father. The RED Spy retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh... ma petite chou-fleur."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's pizza box in tow.]

[scottystreet]

Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'RED Spy' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Soldier watching the board]

Soldier: "A RED Spy is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Soldier reaches from off-screen and pulls a Shotgun off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Soldier dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "Hut, Hut, Hut!" with every step he takes]

The Administrator: "Protect the pizza box!"

Soldier: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Scout: "Yo, a dispenser here!?"

[The Soldier pushes the Scout aside and begins to 'decode' the combination]

Soldier: "All right, all right, I got it. Stand back son. 5, 6, 7, umm... 8!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Heavy comes around the corner, Sasha in-hand, charging towards the Scout and Soldier]

Heavy: "INCOMING!"

[Heavy shoulder-barges the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the Intelligence Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still here!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with the BLU Sniper's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[Meet the spy' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying the dead Sniper towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Soldier: "Safe and sound, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill a RED Spy on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits the Sniper's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his back.]

Soldier: "...and a Cake."

[The Scout approaches and removes the knife.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[The Scout attempts to manipulate the knife like the Spy, only to cut himself on the finger and drop it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "If you managed to kill them, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And nothing... nothing like the man loose inside this building."

Scout: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Soldier & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to face the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be your father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and the Scout's Father.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and disbelief]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to f**k us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring your father will be the second worst thing that happens to you today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Soldier and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and shows the Soldier one photo in particular.]

Soldier: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our defenses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the Hydro tunnels. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Vagineer. He slides a Scout's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]

Vagineer: "Yrtnes Nwod!"

[The BLU Vagineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his Pistol, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. The dead Vagineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at a target off-screen.]

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to our colleagues!"

[Flash back to the BLU Sniper, now alive and sniping from a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a creaking floorboard, alerting the Sniper who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and the Sniper is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he could be any one of us..."

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a BLU Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy breaks the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans spectacles.]

Medic: (Dances)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his spectacles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be you! He could be me! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Soldier, Shotgun in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Soldier: "What? It was obvious! [The Soldier pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh.] He's the Scout's Mother! Watch, he'll turn red any second now..."

[The Soldier and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Soldier prodding the Spy's foot with his Shotgun.]

Soldier: "Any second now... See? Red! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Soldier and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron]

Heavy: "So, we still got cake..."

Soldier: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this Spy?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the stabbing of the Soldier and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Petite Chou-Fleur plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the Scout's Father. The RED Spy retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh... ma petite chou-fleur."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's pizza box in tow.]

[Mugenkira]

Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'RED Spy' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Soldier watching the board]

Soldier: "A RED Spy is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Soldier reaches from off-screen and pulls a Shotgun off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Soldier dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "Hut, Hut, Hut!" with every step he takes]

The Administrator: "Protect the pizza box!"

Soldier: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Scout: "Yo, a dispenser here!?"

[The Soldier pushes the Scout aside and begins to 'decode' the combination]

Soldier: "All right, all right, I got it. Stand back son. 5, 6, 7, umm... 8!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Heavy comes around the corner, Sasha in-hand, charging towards the Scout and Soldier]

Heavy: "INCOMING!"

[Heavy shoulder-barges the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the Intelligence Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still here!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with the BLU Sniper's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[Meet the spy' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying the dead Sniper towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Soldier: "Safe and sound, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill a RED Spy on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits the Sniper's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his back.]

Soldier: "...and a Cake."

[The Scout approaches and removes the knife.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[The Scout attempts to manipulate the knife like the Spy, only to cut himself on the finger and drop it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "If you managed to kill them, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And nothing... nothing like the man loose inside this building."

Scout: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Soldier & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to face the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be your father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and the Scout's Father.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and disbelief]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to f**k us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring your father will be the second worst thing that happens to you today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Soldier and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and shows the Soldier one photo in particular.]

Soldier: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the Hydro tunnels. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Vagineer. He slides a Scout's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]

Vagineer: "Yrtnes Nwod!"

[The BLU Vagineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his Pistol, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. The dead Vagineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at a target off-screen.]

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to our colleagues!"

[Flash back to the BLU Sniper, now alive and sniping from a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a creaking floorboard, alerting the Sniper who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and the Sniper is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he could be any one of us..."

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a BLU Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy breaks the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans spectacles.]

Medic: (Dances)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his spectacles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be you! He could be me! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Soldier, Shotgun in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Soldier: "What? It was obvious! [The Soldier pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh.] He's the Scout's Mother! Watch, he'll turn red any second now..."

[The Soldier and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Soldier prodding the Spy's foot with his Shotgun.]

Soldier: "Any second now... See? Red! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Soldier and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron]

Heavy: "So, we still got cake..."

Soldier: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this Spy?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the stabbing of the Soldier and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Petite Chou-Fleur plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the Scout's Father. The RED Spy retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh... ma petite chou-fleur."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's pizza box in tow.]

[Tis a Mystery]

Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'RED Spy' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Soldier watching the board]

Soldier: "A RED Spy is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Soldier reaches from off-screen and pulls a Shotgun off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Soldier dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "Hut, Hut, Hut!" with every step he takes]

The Administrator: "Protect the pizza box!"

Soldier: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Scout: "Yo, a dispenser here!?"

[The Soldier pushes the Scout aside and begins to 'decode' the combination]

Soldier: "All right, all right, I got it. Stand back son. 5, 6, 7, umm... 8!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Heavy comes around the corner, Sasha in-hand, charging towards the Scout and Soldier]

Heavy: "INCOMING!"

[Heavy shoulder-barges the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the Intelligence Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still here!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with the BLU Sniper's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[Meet the spy' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying the dead Sniper towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Soldier: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill a RED Spy on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits the Sniper's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his back.]

Soldier: "...and a Cake."

[The Scout approaches and removes the knife.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[The Scout attempts to manipulate the knife like the Spy, only to cut himself on the finger and drop it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "If you managed to kill them, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And nothing... nothing like the man loose inside this building."

Scout: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Soldier & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to face the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be your father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and the Scout's Father.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and disbelief]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to f**k us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring your father will be the second worst thing that happens to you today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Soldier and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and shows the Soldier one photo in particular.]

Soldier: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the Hydro tunnels. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Vagineer. He slides a Scout's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]

Vagineer: "Yrtnes Nwod!"

[The BLU Vagineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his Pistol, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. The dead Vagineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at a target off-screen.]

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to our colleagues!"

[Flash back to the BLU Sniper, now alive and sniping from a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a creaking floorboard, alerting the Sniper who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and the Sniper is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he could be any one of us..."

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a BLU Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy breaks the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans spectacles.]

Medic: (Dances)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his spectacles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be you! He could be me! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Soldier, Shotgun in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Soldier: "What? It was obvious! [The Soldier pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh.] He's the Scout's Mother! Watch, he'll turn red any second now..."

[The Soldier and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Soldier prodding the Spy's foot with his Shotgun.]

Soldier: "Any second now... See? Red! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Soldier and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron]

Heavy: "So, we still got cake..."

Soldier: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this Spy?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the stabbing of the Soldier and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Petite Chou-Fleur plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the Scout's Father. The RED Spy retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh... ma petite chou-fleur."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's pizza box in tow.]

[Trar]

Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'RED Spy' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Soldier watching the board]

Soldier: "A RED Spy is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Soldier reaches from off-screen and pulls a Shotgun off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Soldier dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "Hut, Hut, Hut!" with every step he takes]

The Administrator: "Protect the pizza box!"

Soldier: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Scout: "Yo, a dispenser here!?"

[The Soldier pushes the Scout aside and begins to 'decode' the combination]

Soldier: "All right, all right, I got it. Stand back son. 5, 6, 7, umm... 8!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-



Heavy: "INCOMING!"

[Heavy shoulder-barges the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the Intelligence Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still here!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with the BLU Sniper's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[Meet the spy' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying the dead Sniper towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Soldier: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill a RED Spy on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits the Sniper's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his back.]

Soldier: "...and a Cake."

[The Scout approaches and removes the knife.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[The Scout attempts to manipulate the knife like the Spy, only to cut himself on the finger and drop it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "If you managed to kill them, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And nothing... nothing like the [B]pootis loose inside this building."

Scout: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Soldier & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to face the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be your father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and the Scout's Father.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and disbelief]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to f**k us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring your father will be the second worst thing that happens to you today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Soldier and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and shows the Soldier one photo in particular.]

Soldier: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the Hydro tunnels. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Vagineer. He slides a Scout's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]

Vagineer: "Yrtnes Nwod!"

[The BLU Vagineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his Pistol, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. The dead Vagineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at a target off-screen.]

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to our colleagues!"

[Flash back to the BLU Sniper, now alive and sniping from a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a creaking floorboard, alerting the Sniper who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and the Sniper is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he could be any one of us..."

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a BLU Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy breaks the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans spectacles.]

Medic: (Dances)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his spectacles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be you! He could be me! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Soldier, Shotgun in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Soldier: "What? It was obvious! [The Soldier pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh.] He's the Scout's Mother! Watch, he'll turn red any second now..."

[The Soldier and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Soldier prodding the Spy's foot with his Shotgun.]

Soldier: "Any second now... See? Red! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Soldier and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron]

Heavy: "So, we still got cake..."

Soldier: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this Spy?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the stabbing of the Soldier and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Petite Chou-Fleur plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the Scout's Father. The RED Spy retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh... ma petite chou-fleur."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's pizza box in tow.]

[headshot133742]

Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Soldier watching the board]

Soldier: "Painis Cupcake is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Soldier reaches from off-screen and pulls a Shotgun off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Soldier dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "Hut, Hut, Hut!" with every step he takes]

The Administrator: "Protect the pizza box!"

Soldier: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Scout: "Yo, a dispenser here!?"

[The Soldier pushes the Scout aside and begins to 'decode' the combination]

Soldier: "All right, all right, I got it. Stand back son. 5, 6, 7, umm... 8!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Heavy comes around the corner, Sasha in-hand, charging towards the Scout and Soldier]

Heavy: "INCOMING!"

[Heavy shoulder-barges the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the Intelligence Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still here!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with the BLU Sniper's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[Meet the spy' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying the dead Sniper towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Soldier: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill a RED Spy on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits the Sniper's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his back.]

Soldier: "...and a Cake."

[The Scout approaches and removes the knife.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[The Scout attempts to manipulate the knife like the Spy, only to cut himself on the finger and drop it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "If you managed to kill them, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And nothing... nothing like the pootis loose inside this building."

Scout: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Soldier & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to face the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be your father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and the Scout's Father.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and disbelief]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to f**k us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring your father will be the second worst thing that happens to you today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Soldier and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and shows the Soldier one photo in particular.]

Soldier: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the Hydro tunnels. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Vagineer. He slides a Scout's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]

Vagineer: "Yrtnes Nwod!"

[The BLU Vagineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his Pistol, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. The dead Vagineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at a target off-screen.]

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to our colleagues!"

[Flash back to the BLU Sniper, now alive and sniping from a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a creaking floorboard, alerting the Sniper who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and the Sniper is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he could be any one of us..."

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a BLU Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy breaks the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans spectacles.]

Medic: (Dances)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his spectacles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be you! He could be me! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Soldier, Shotgun in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Soldier: "What? It was obvious! [The Soldier pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh.] He's the Scout's Mother! Watch, he'll turn red any second now..."

[The Soldier and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Soldier prodding the Spy's foot with his Shotgun.]

Soldier: "Any second now... See? Red! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Soldier and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron]

Heavy: "So, we still got cake..."

Soldier: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this Spy?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the stabbing of the Soldier and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Petite Chou-Fleur plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the Scout's Father. The RED Spy retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh... ma petite chou-fleur."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's pizza box in tow.]

[Erfly]

Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Soldier watching the board]

Soldier: "Painis Cupcake is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Soldier reaches from off-screen and pulls a Shotgun off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Soldier dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "Hut, Hut, Hut!" with every step he takes]

The Administrator: "Protect the pizza box!"

Soldier: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Scout: "Yo, a dispenser here!?"

[The Soldier pushes the Scout aside and begins to 'decode' the combination]

Soldier: "All right, all right, I got it. Stand back son. 5, 6, 7, umm... 8!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Heavy comes around the corner, Sasha in-hand, charging towards the Scout and Soldier]

Heavy: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

[Heavy shoulder-barges the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the Intelligence Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still here!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with the BLU Sniper's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[Meet the spy' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying the dead Sniper towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Soldier: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill a RED Spy on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits the Sniper's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his back.]

Soldier: "...and a Cake."

[The Scout approaches and removes the knife.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[The Scout attempts to manipulate the knife like the Spy, only to cut himself on the finger and drop it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "If you managed to kill them, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And nothing... nothing like the pootis loose inside this building."

Scout: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Soldier & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to face the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be your father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and the Scout's Father.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and disbelief]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to f**k us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring your father will be the second worst thing that happens to you today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Soldier and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and shows the Soldier one photo in particular.]

Soldier: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the Hydro tunnels. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Vagineer. He slides a Scout's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]

Vagineer: "Yrtnes Nwod!"

[The BLU Vagineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his Pistol, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. The dead Vagineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at a target off-screen.]

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to our colleagues!"

[Flash back to the BLU Sniper, now alive and sniping from a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a creaking floorboard, alerting the Sniper who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and the Sniper is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he could be any one of us..."

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a BLU Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy breaks the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans spectacles.]

Medic: (Dances)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his spectacles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be you! He could be me! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Soldier, Shotgun in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Soldier: "What? It was obvious! [The Soldier pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh.] He's the Scout's Mother! Watch, he'll turn red any second now..."

[The Soldier and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Soldier prodding the Spy's foot with his Shotgun.]

Soldier: "Any second now... See? Red! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Soldier and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron]

Heavy: "So, we still got cake..."

Soldier: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this Spy?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the stabbing of the Soldier and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Petite Chou-Fleur plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the Scout's Father. The RED Spy retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh... ma petite chou-fleur."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's pizza box in tow.]

[Tis a Mystery]

Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Soldier watching the board]

Soldier: "Painis Cupcake is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Soldier reaches from off-screen and pulls a Shotgun off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Soldier dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "Hut, Hut, Hut!" with every step he takes]

The Administrator: "Protect the pizza box!"

Soldier: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Scout: "Yo, a dispenser here!?"

[The Soldier pushes the Scout aside and begins to 'decode' the combination]

Soldier: "All right, all right, I got it. Stand back son. 5, 6, 7, umm... 8!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Heavy comes around the corner, Sasha in-hand, charging towards the Scout and Soldier]

Heavy: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

[Heavy shoulder-barges the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the Intelligence Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still here!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with the BLU Sniper's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[Meet the spy' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying the dead Sniper towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Soldier: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill a RED Spy on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits the Sniper's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his back.]

Soldier: "...and a Cake."

[The Scout approaches and removes the knife.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[The Scout attempts to manipulate the knife like the Spy, only to cut himself on the finger and drop it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "If you managed to kill them, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And nothing... nothing like the pootis loose inside this building."

Scout: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Soldier & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to face the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be your father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and the Scout's Father.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and disbelief]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to f**k us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring your father will be the second worst thing that happens to you today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Soldier and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and slaps the soldier silly.]

Soldier: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the Hydro tunnels. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Vagineer. He slides a Scout's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]

Vagineer: "Yrtnes Nwod!"

[The BLU Vagineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his Pistol, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. The dead Vagineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at a target off-screen.]

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to our colleagues!"

[Flash back to the BLU Sniper, now alive and sniping from a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a creaking floorboard, alerting the Sniper who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and the Sniper is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he could be any one of us..."

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a BLU Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy breaks the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans spectacles.]

Medic: (Dances)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his spectacles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be you! He could be me! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Soldier, Shotgun in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Soldier: "What? It was obvious! [The Soldier pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh.] He's the Scout's Mother! Watch, he'll turn red any second now..."

[The Soldier and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Soldier prodding the Spy's foot with his Shotgun.]

Soldier: "Any second now... See? Red! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Soldier and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron]

Heavy: "So, we still got cake..."

Soldier: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this Spy?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the stabbing of the Soldier and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Petite Chou-Fleur plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the Scout's Father. The RED Spy retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh... ma petite chou-fleur."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's pizza box in tow.]

[Kruzeider]

Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Soldier watching the board]

Soldier: "Painis Cupcake is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Soldier reaches from off-screen and pulls a Shotgun off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Soldier dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "Hut, Hut, Hut!" with every step he takes]

The Administrator: "Protect the pizza box!"

Soldier: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Scout: "Yo, a dispenser here!?"

[The Soldier pushes the Scout aside and begins to 'decode' the combination]

Soldier: "All right, all right, I got it. Stand back son. 5, 6, 7, umm... 8!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-



Heavy: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

[Heavy shoulder-barges the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the Intelligence Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still here!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with the BLU Sniper's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[Meet the spy' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying the dead Sniper towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Soldier: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill a RED Spy on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits the Sniper's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his back.]

Soldier: "...and a Cake."

[The Scout approaches and removes the knife.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[The Scout attempts to manipulate the knife like the Spy, only to cut himself on the finger and drop it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "If you managed to kill them, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And nothing... nothing like the pootis loose inside this building."

Scout: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Soldier & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to face the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be your father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and the Scout's Father.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and disbelief]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to f**k us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring your father will be the second worst thing that happens to you today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Soldier and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and slaps the soldier silly.]

Soldier: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the Hydro tunnels. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Vagineer. He slides a Scout's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]

Vagineer: "Yrtnes Nwod!"

[The BLU Vagineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his Pistol, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. The dead Vagineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at a target off-screen.]

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to our colleagues!"

[Flash back to the BLU Sniper, now alive and sniping from a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a creaking floorboard, alerting the Sniper who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and the Sniper is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he could be any one of us..."

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a BLU Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy breaks the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans spectacles.]

Medic: (Dances)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his spectacles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be [B]Scout's Father!! He could be me! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Soldier, Shotgun in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Soldier: "What? It was obvious! [The Soldier pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh.] He's the Scout's Mother! Watch, he'll turn red any second now..."

[The Soldier and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Soldier prodding the Spy's foot with his Shotgun.]

Soldier: "Any second now... See? Red! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Soldier and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron]

Heavy: "So, we still got cake..."

Soldier: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this Spy?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the stabbing of the Soldier and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Petite Chou-Fleur plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the Scout's Father. The RED Spy retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh... ma petite chou-fleur."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's pizza box in tow.]

[Tis a Mystery]

Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Soldier watching the board]

Soldier: "Painis Cupcake is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Soldier reaches from off-screen and pulls a Shotgun off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Soldier dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "Hut, Hut, Hut!" with every step he takes]

The Administrator: "Protect the pizza box!"

Soldier: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Scout: "Yo, a dispenser here!?"

[The Soldier pushes the Scout aside and begins to 'decode' the combination]

Soldier: "All right, all right, I got it. Stand back son. 5, 6, 7, umm... 8!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Heavy comes around the corner, Sasha in-hand, charging towards the Scout and Soldier]

Heavy: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

[Heavy shoulder-barges the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the Intelligence Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still here!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with the BLU Sniper's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[Meet the spy' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying the dead Sniper towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Soldier: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill a RED Spy on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits the Sniper's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his back.]

Soldier: "...and a Cake."

[The Scout approaches and removes the knife.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[The Scout attempts to manipulate the knife like the Spy, only to cut himself on the finger and drop it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "If you managed to kill them, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And nothing... nothing like the pootis loose inside this building."

Scout: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Soldier & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to face the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be your father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and the Scout's Father.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and disbelief]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to f**k us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring your father will be the second worst thing that happens to you today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Soldier and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and slaps the soldier silly.]

Soldier: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the Hydro tunnels. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Vagineer. He slides a Scout's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]

Vagineer: "Yrtnes Nwod!"

[The BLU Vagineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his Pistol, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. The dead Vagineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at a target off-screen.]

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to our colleagues!"

[Flash back to the BLU Sniper, now alive and sniping from a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a creaking floorboard, alerting the Sniper who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and the Sniper is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"
[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a BLU Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy breaks the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans spectacles.]

Medic: (Dances)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his spectacles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be Scout's Father!! He could be me! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Soldier, Shotgun in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Soldier: "What? It was obvious! [The Soldier pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh.] He's the Scout's Mother! Watch, he'll turn red any second now..."

[The Soldier and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Soldier prodding the Spy's foot with his Shotgun.]

Soldier: "Any second now... See? Red! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Soldier and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron]

Heavy: "So, we still got cake..."

Soldier: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this Spy?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the stabbing of the Soldier and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Petite Chou-Fleur plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the Scout's Father. The RED Spy retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh... ma petite chou-fleur."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's pizza box in tow.]

[Mr.Fuzzie]

Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Soldier watching the board]

Soldier: "Painis Cupcake is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Soldier reaches from off-screen and pulls a Shotgun off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Soldier dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "Hut, Hut, Hut!" with every step he takes]

The Administrator: "Protect the pizza box!"

Soldier: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Scout: "Yo, a dispenser here!?"

[The Soldier pushes the Scout aside and begins to 'decode' the combination]

Soldier: "All right, all right, I got it. Stand back son. 5, 6, 7, umm... 8!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-



Heavy: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

[Heavy shoulder-barges the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the Intelligence Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still here!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with the BLU Sniper's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[Meet the spy' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying the dead Sniper towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Soldier: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill a RED Spy on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits the Sniper's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his back.]

Soldier: "...and a Cake."

[The Scout approaches and removes the knife.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[The Scout attempts to manipulate the knife like the Spy, only to cut himself on the finger and drop it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "If you managed to kill them, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And nothing... nothing like the pootis loose inside this building."

Scout: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Soldier & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to face the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be your father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and the Scout's Father.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and disbelief]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to f**k us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring your father will be the second worst thing that happens to you today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Soldier and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and slaps the soldier silly.]

Soldier: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the Hydro tunnels. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Vagineer. He slides a Scout's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]

Vagineer: "Yrtnes Nwod!"

[The BLU Vagineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his Pistol, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. The dead Vagineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at a target off-screen.]

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to our colleagues!"

[Flash back to the BLU Sniper, now alive and sniping from a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a [B]empty BONK! can, alerting the Sniper who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and the Sniper is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"
[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a BLU Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy breaks the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans spectacles.]

Medic: (Dances)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his spectacles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be Scout's Father!! He could be me! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Soldier, Shotgun in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Soldier: "What? It was obvious! [The Soldier pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh.] He's the Scout's Mother! Watch, he'll turn red any second now..."

[The Soldier and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Soldier prodding the Spy's foot with his Shotgun.]

Soldier: "Any second now... See? Red! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Soldier and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron]

Heavy: "So, we still got cake..."

Soldier: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this Spy?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the stabbing of the Soldier and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Petite Chou-Fleur plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the Scout's Father. The RED Spy retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh... ma petite chou-fleur."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's pizza box in tow.]

[TDV SilentSnipe]

Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Soldier watching the board]

Soldier: "Painis Cupcake is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Soldier reaches from off-screen and pulls a Shotgun off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Soldier dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "Hut, Hut, Hut!" with every step he takes]

The Administrator: "Protect the pizza box!"

Soldier: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Scout: "Yo, a dispenser here!?"

[The Soldier pushes the Scout aside and begins to 'decode' the combination]

Soldier: "All right, all right, I got it. Stand back son. 5, 6, 7, umm... 8!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-



Heavy: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

[Heavy shoulder-barges the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the Intelligence Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still here!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with the BLU Sniper's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[Meet the spy' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying the dead Sniper towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Soldier: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill a RED Spy on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits the Sniper's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his back.]

Soldier: "...and a Cake."

[The Scout approaches and removes the knife.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[The Scout attempts to manipulate the knife like the Spy, only to cut himself on the finger and drop it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "If you managed to kill them, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And nothing... nothing like the pootis loose inside this building."

Scout: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Soldier & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to face the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be your father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and the Scout's Father.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and disbelief]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to f**k us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring your father will be the second worst thing that happens to you today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Soldier and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and slaps the soldier silly.]

Soldier: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the Hydro tunnels. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Vagineer. He slides a Scout's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]

Vagineer: "Yrtnes Nwod!"

[The BLU Vagineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his Pistol, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. The dead Vagineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at a target off-screen.]

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to our colleagues!"

[Flash back to the BLU Sniper, now alive and sniping from a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a empty BONK! can, alerting the Sniper who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and the Sniper is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"
[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a BLU Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy breaks the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans [B]testicles.]

Medic: (Dances)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be Scout's Father!! He could be me! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Soldier, Shotgun in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Soldier: "What? It was obvious! [The Soldier pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh.] He's the Scout's Mother! Watch, he'll turn red any second now..."

[The Soldier and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Soldier prodding the Spy's foot with his Shotgun.]

Soldier: "Any second now... See? Red! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Soldier and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron]

Heavy: "So, we still got cake..."

Soldier: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this Spy?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the stabbing of the Soldier and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Petite Chou-Fleur plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the Scout's Father. The RED Spy retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh... ma petite chou-fleur."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's pizza box in tow.][/QUOTE]

[I'm Not A Spy]

Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Soldier watching the board]

Soldier: "Painis Cupcake is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Soldier reaches from off-screen and pulls a Shotgun off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Soldier dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "Hut, Hut, Hut!" with every step he takes]

The Administrator: "Protect the pizza box!"

Soldier: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Scout: "Yo, a dispenser here!?"

[The Soldier pushes the Scout aside and begins to 'decode' the combination]

Soldier: "All right, all right, I got it. Stand back son. 5, 6, 7, umm... 8!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-



Heavy: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

[Heavy shoulder-barges the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the Intelligence Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still here!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with the BLU Sniper's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[Meet the spy' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying the dead Sniper towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Soldier: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill a RED Spy on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits the Sniper's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his [B]Razorback.]

Soldier: "...and a Cake."

[The Scout approaches and removes the knife.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[The Scout attempts to manipulate the knife like the Spy, only to cut himself on the finger and drop it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "If you managed to kill them, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And nothing... nothing like the pootis loose inside this building."

Scout: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Soldier & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to face the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be your father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and the Scout's Father.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and disbelief]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to f**k us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring your father will be the second worst thing that happens to you today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Soldier and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and slaps the soldier silly.]

Soldier: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the Hydro tunnels. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Vagineer. He slides a Scout's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]

Vagineer: "Yrtnes Nwod!"

[The BLU Vagineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his Pistol, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. The dead Vagineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at a target off-screen.]

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to our colleagues!"

[Flash back to the BLU Sniper, now alive and sniping from a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a empty BONK! can, alerting the Sniper who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and the Sniper is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"
[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a BLU Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy breaks the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans testicles.]

Medic: (Dances)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be Scout's Father!! He could be me! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Soldier, Shotgun in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Soldier: "What? It was obvious! [The Soldier pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh.] He's the Scout's Mother! Watch, he'll turn red any second now..."

[The Soldier and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Soldier prodding the Spy's foot with his Shotgun.]

Soldier: "Any second now... See? Red! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Soldier and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron]

Heavy: "So, we still got cake..."

Soldier: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this Spy?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the stabbing of the Soldier and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Petite Chou-Fleur plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the Scout's Father. The RED Spy retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh... ma petite chou-fleur."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's pizza box in tow.]

[lolpizzalol]

Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Soldier watching the board]

Soldier: "Painis Cupcake is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Soldier reaches from off-screen and pulls a Shotgun off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Soldier dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "Hut, Hut, Hut!" with every step he takes]

The Administrator: "Protect the pizza box!"

Soldier: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Scout: "Yo, a dispenser here!?"

[The Soldier pushes the Scout aside and begins to 'decode' the combination]

Soldier: "All right, all right, I got aids. Stand back son. 5, 6, 7, umm... 8!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Heavy comes around the corner, Sasha in-hand, charging towards the Scout and Soldier]

Heavy: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

[Heavy shoulder-barges the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the Intelligence Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still here!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with the BLU Sniper's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[Meet the spy' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying the dead Sniper towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Soldier: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill a RED Spy on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits the Sniper's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his Razorback.]

Soldier: "...and a Cake."

[The Scout approaches and removes the knife.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[The Scout attempts to manipulate the knife like the Spy, only to cut himself on the finger and drop it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "If you managed to kill them, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And nothing... nothing like the pootis loose inside this building."

Scout: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Soldier & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to face the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be your father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and the Scout's Father.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and disbelief]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to f**k us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring your father will be the second worst thing that happens to you today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Soldier and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and slaps the soldier silly.]

Soldier: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the Hydro tunnels. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Vagineer. He slides a Scout's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]

Vagineer: "Yrtnes Nwod!"

[The BLU Vagineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his Pistol, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. The dead Vagineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at a target off-screen.]

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to our colleagues!"

[Flash back to the BLU Sniper, now alive and sniping from a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a empty BONK! can, alerting the Sniper who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and the Sniper is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"
[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a BLU Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy breaks the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans testicles.]

Medic: (Dances)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be Scout's Father!! He could be me! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Soldier, Shotgun in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Soldier: "What? It was obvious! [The Soldier pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh.] He's the Scout's Mother! Watch, he'll turn red any second now..."

[The Soldier and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Soldier prodding the Spy's foot with his Shotgun.]

Soldier: "Any second now... See? Red! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Soldier and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron]

Heavy: "So, we still got cake..."

Soldier: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this Spy?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the stabbing of the Soldier and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Petite Chou-Fleur plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the Scout's Father. The RED Spy retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh... ma petite chou-fleur."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's pizza box in tow.]

[Dark Lyra]

Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Soldier watching the board]

Soldier: "Painis Cupcake is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Soldier reaches from off-screen and pulls a Shotgun off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Soldier dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "Hut, Hut, Hut!" with every step he takes]

The Administrator: "Protect the pizza box!"

Soldier: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Scout: "Yo, a dispenser here!?"

[The Soldier pushes the Scout aside and begins to 'decode' the combination]

Soldier: "All right, all right, I got aids. Stand back son. 5, 6, 7, umm... 8!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-



Heavy: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

[Heavy shoulder-barges the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the Intelligence Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still here!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with the BLU Sniper's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[Meet the spy' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying the dead Sniper towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Soldier: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill [b]Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits the Sniper's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his Razorback.]

Soldier: "...and a Cake."

[The Scout approaches and removes the knife.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[The Scout attempts to manipulate the knife like the Spy, only to cut himself on the finger and drop it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "If you managed to kill them, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And nothing... nothing like the pootis loose inside this building."

Scout: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Soldier & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to face the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be your father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and the Scout's Father.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and disbelief]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to f**k us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring your father will be the second worst thing that happens to you today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Soldier and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and slaps the soldier silly.]

Soldier: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the Hydro tunnels. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Vagineer. He slides a Scout's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]

Vagineer: "Yrtnes Nwod!"

[The BLU Vagineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his Pistol, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. The dead Vagineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at a target off-screen.]

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to our colleagues!"

[Flash back to the BLU Sniper, now alive and sniping from a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a empty BONK! can, alerting the Sniper who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and the Sniper is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a BLU Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy breaks the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans testicles.]

Medic: (Dances)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be Scout's Father!! He could be me! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Soldier, Shotgun in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Soldier: "What? It was obvious! [The Soldier pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh.] He's the Scout's Mother! Watch, he'll turn red any second now..."

[The Soldier and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Soldier prodding the Spy's foot with his Shotgun.]

Soldier: "Any second now... See? Red! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Soldier and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron]

Heavy: "So, we still got cake..."

Soldier: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this Spy?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the stabbing of the Soldier and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Petite Chou-Fleur plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the Scout's Father. The RED Spy retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh... ma petite chou-fleur."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's pizza box in tow.]

[Mr.Fuzzie]

Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Soldier watching the board]

Soldier: "Painis Cupcake is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Soldier reaches from off-screen and pulls a Shotgun off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Soldier dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

The Administrator: "Protect the pizza box!"

Soldier: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Scout: "Yo, a dispenser here!?"

[The Soldier pushes the Scout aside and begins to 'decode' the combination]

Soldier: "All right, all right, I got aids. Stand back son. 5, 6, 7, umm... 8!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Heavy comes around the corner, Sasha in-hand, charging towards the Scout and Soldier]

Heavy: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

[Heavy shoulder-barges the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the Intelligence Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still here!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with the BLU Sniper's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[Meet the spy' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying the dead Sniper towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Soldier: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits the Sniper's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his Razorback.]

Soldier: "...and a Cake."

[The Scout approaches and removes the knife.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[The Scout attempts to manipulate the knife like the Spy, only to cut himself on the finger and drop it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "If you managed to kill them, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And nothing... nothing like the pootis loose inside this building."

Scout: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Soldier & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to face the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be your father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and the Scout's Father.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and disbelief]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to f**k us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring your father will be the second worst thing that happens to you today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Soldier and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and slaps the soldier silly.]

Soldier: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the Hydro tunnels. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Vagineer. He slides a Scout's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]

Vagineer: "Yrtnes Nwod!"

[The BLU Vagineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his Pistol, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. The dead Vagineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at a target off-screen.]

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to our colleagues!"

[Flash back to the BLU Sniper, now alive and sniping from a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a empty BONK! can, alerting the Sniper who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and the Sniper is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a BLU Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy breaks the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans testicles.]

Medic: (Dances)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be Scout's Father!! He could be me! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Soldier, Shotgun in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Soldier: "What? It was obvious! [The Soldier pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh.] He's the Scout's Mother! Watch, he'll turn red any second now..."

[The Soldier and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Soldier prodding the Spy's foot with his Shotgun.]

Soldier: "Any second now... See? Red! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Soldier and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron]

Heavy: "So, we still got cake..."

Soldier: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this Spy?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the stabbing of the Soldier and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Petite Chou-Fleur plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the Scout's Father. The RED Spy retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh... ma petite chou-fleur."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's pizza box in tow.]

[Moogle]

[Shot opens on ringing alarm bell; sirens and klaxons play in the background]
The Administrator: "Intruder Alert! A RED Spy is in the base!"

[Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'RED Spy' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Soldier watching the board]

Soldier: "A RED Spy is in the base!?"

[Intruder Alert begins to play. The Soldier reaches from off-screen and pulls a Shotgun off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Soldier dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "Hut, Hut, Hut!" with every step he takes]

The Administrator: "Protect the briefcase!"

Soldier: "We need to protect the briefcase!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'Briefcase Room' door]

Scout: "Yo, a lil' help here!?"

[The Soldier pushes the Scout aside and begins to 'decode' the combination]

Soldier: "All right, all right, I got it. Stand back son. 1, 1, 1, umm... 1!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Heavy comes around the corner, Sasha in-hand, charging towards the Scout and Soldier]

Heavy: "INCOMING!"

[Heavy shoulder-barges the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the Intelligence Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the briefcase is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the briefcase] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still here!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with the BLU Sniper's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[Meet the Spy' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying the dead Sniper towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the briefcase is safe."

Soldier: "Safe and sound, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill a RED Spy on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a problem.

[He deposits the Sniper's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his back.]

Soldier: "...and a Knife."

[The Scout approaches and removes the knife.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like you!"

[The Scout attempts to manipulate the knife like the Spy, only to cut himself on the finger and drop it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "If you managed to kill them, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And nothing... nothing like the man loose inside this building."

Scout: "What're you? President of his fan club?"

Soldier & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to face the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be my mother!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and the Scout's Mother.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and disbelief]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to f**k us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring your mother will be the second worst thing that happens to you today."

[Right Behind You plays]

[The Soldier and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and shows the Soldier one photo in particular.]

Soldier: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our defenses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the Hydro tunnels. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Engineer. He slides a Electro Sapper across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]

Engineer: "Sentry Down!"

[The BLU Engineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his Pistol, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. The dead Engineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at a target off-screen.]

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to our colleagues!"

[Flash back to the BLU Sniper, now alive and sniping from a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a creaking floorboard, alerting the Sniper who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and the Sniper is ultimately backstabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he could be any one of us..."

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a BLU Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy breaks the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans spectacles.]

Medic: (gasps)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his spectacles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be you! He could be me! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Soldier, Shotgun in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Soldier: "What? It was obvious! [The Soldier pumps his Shotgun, discarding the spent shell.] He's the RED Spy! Watch, he'll turn red any second now..."

[The Soldier and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Soldier prodding the Spy's foot with his Shotgun.]

Soldier: "Any second now... See? Red! Oh, wait...that's blood."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Soldier and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Spy]

Heavy: "So, we still got problem..."

Soldier: "Big problem... alright, who's ready to go find this Spy?"

Spy: "Right behind you."

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the stabbing of the Soldier and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Petite Chou-Fleur plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the Scout's Mother. The RED Spy retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh... ma petite chou-fleur."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's intel in tow.]

[Mr.Fuzzie]

You did it wrong, so here is your fix, i think, i fixed the rest of it too



Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Soldier watching the board]

Soldier: "Painis Cupcake is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Soldier reaches from off-screen and pulls a Shotgun off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Soldier dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

The Administrator: "Protect the pizza box!"

Soldier: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Scout: "Yo, a dispenser here!?"

[The Soldier pushes the Scout aside and begins to 'decode' the combination]

Soldier: "All right, all right, I got aids. Stand back son. 5, 6, 7, umm... 8!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-



Heavy: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

[Heavy shoulder-barges the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the Intelligence Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still here!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with the BLU Sniper's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[Meet the spy' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying the dead Sniper towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Soldier: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits the Sniper's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his Razorback.]

Soldier: "...and a Cake."

[The Scout approaches and removes the knife.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[The Scout attempts to manipulate the knife like the Spy, only to cut himself on the finger and drop it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "If you managed to kill them, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And nothing... nothing like the pootis loose inside this building."

Scout: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Soldier & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to face the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be [B]my father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and his Father.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and disbelief]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to f**k us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring my father will be the second worst thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Soldier and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and slaps the soldier silly.]

Soldier: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the Hydro tunnels. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Vagineer. He slides a Scout's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]

Vagineer: "Yrtnes Nwod!"

[The BLU Vagineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his Pistol, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. The dead Vagineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at a target off-screen.]

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to our colleagues!"

[Flash back to the BLU Sniper, now alive and sniping from a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a empty BONK! can, alerting the Sniper who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and the Sniper is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a BLU Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy breaks the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans testicles.]

Medic: (Dances)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be Scout's Father!! He could be me! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Soldier, Shotgun in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Soldier: "What? It was obvious! [The Soldier pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh. He's the Scout's Mother! Watch, he'll turn red any second now..."

[The Soldier and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Soldier prodding the Spy's foot with his Shotgun.]

Soldier: "Any second now... See? Red! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Soldier and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron]

Heavy: "So, we still got cake..."

Soldier: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this Spy?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the stabbing of the Soldier and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Petite Chou-Fleur plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the BLU spy's Father. The RED Spy retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh... ma petite chou-fleur."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's pizza box in tow.]

[Svartwolf]

Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Soldier watching the board]

Soldier: "Painis Cupcake is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Soldier reaches from off-screen and pulls a Shotgun off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Soldier dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

The Administrator: "Protect the pizza box!"

Soldier: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Scout: "Yo, a dispenser here!?"

[The Soldier pushes the Scout aside and begins to 'decode' the combination]

Soldier: "All right, all right, I got aids. Stand back son. 5, 6, 7, umm... 8!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Heavy comes around the corner, Sasha in-hand, charging towards the Scout and Soldier]

Heavy: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

[Heavy shoulder-barges the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the Intelligence Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still here!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with the BLU Sniper's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[Meet the spy' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying the dead Sniper towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Soldier: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits the Sniper's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his Razorback.]

Soldier: "...and a Cake."

[The Scout approaches and removes the knife.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[The Scout attempts to manipulate the knife like the Spy, only to cut himself on the finger and drop it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "Your words are as empty as your soul, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Scout: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Soldier & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to face the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be my father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and his Father.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and disbelief]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to f**k us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring my father will be the second worst thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Soldier and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and slaps the soldier silly.]

Soldier: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the Hydro tunnels. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Vagineer. He slides a Scout's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]

Vagineer: "Yrtnes Nwod!"

[The BLU Vagineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his Pistol, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. The dead Vagineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at a target off-screen.]

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to our colleagues!"

[Flash back to the BLU Sniper, now alive and sniping from a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a empty BONK! can, alerting the Sniper who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and the Sniper is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a BLU Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy breaks the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans testicles.]

Medic: (Dances)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be Scout's Father!! He could be me! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Soldier, Shotgun in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Soldier: "What? It was obvious! [The Soldier pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh. He's the Scout's Mother! Watch, he'll turn red any second now..."

[The Soldier and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Soldier prodding the Spy's foot with his Shotgun.]

Soldier: "Any second now... See? Red! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Soldier and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron]

Heavy: "So, we still got cake..."

Soldier: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this Spy?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the stabbing of the Soldier and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Petite Chou-Fleur plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the BLU spy's Father. The RED Spy retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh... ma petite chou-fleur."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's pizza box in tow.]

[megaflicks]

Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Soldier watching the board]

Soldier: "Painis Cupcake is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Soldier reaches from off-screen and pulls a Shotgun off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Soldier dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

The Administrator: "Protect the pizza box!"

Soldier: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Scout: "Yo, a dispenser here!?"

[The Soldier pushes the Scout aside and begins to 'decode' the combination]

Soldier: "All right, all right, I got aids. Stand back son. 5, 6, 7, umm... 8!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Heavy comes around the corner, Sasha in-hand, charging towards the Scout and Soldier]

Heavy: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

[Heavy shoulder-barges the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the Intelligence Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still here!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with the BLU Sniper's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[Meet the spy' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying the dead Sniper towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Soldier: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits the Sniper's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his Razorback.]

Soldier: "...and a Cake."

[The Scout approaches and removes the knife.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[The Scout attempts to manipulate the knife like the Spy, only to cut himself on the finger and drop it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "Your words are as empty as your soul, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Scout: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Soldier & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to face the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be my father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and his Father.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and disbelief]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to f**k us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring my father will be the second worst thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Soldier and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and slaps the soldier silly.]

Soldier: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the Hydro tunnels. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Vagineer. He slides a Scout's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]

Vagineer: "Yrtnes Nwod!"

[The BLU Vagineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his Pistol, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. The dead Vagineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at a target off-screen.]

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to our colleagues!"

[Flash back to the BLU Sniper, now alive and sniping from a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a empty BONK! can, alerting the Sniper who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and the Sniper is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a BLU Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy breaks the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans testicles.]

Medic: (Dances)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be Scout's Father!! He could be me! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Soldier, Shotgun in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Soldier: "What? It was obvious! [The Soldier pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh. He's the Scout's Mother! Watch, he'll turn red any second now..."

[The Soldier and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Soldier prodding the Spy's foot with his Shotgun.]

Soldier: "Any second now... See? Red! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Soldier and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron]

Heavy: "So, we still got cake..."

Soldier: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this Spy?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the stabbing of the Soldier and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Petite Chou-Fleur plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the BLU spy's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh... ma petite chou-fleur."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's pizza box in tow.]

[lolpizzalol]

Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Soldier watching the board]

Soldier: "Painis Cupcake is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Soldier reaches from off-screen and pulls a Shotgun off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Soldier dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

The Administrator: "Protect the pizza box!"

Soldier: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Scout: "Yo, a dispenser here!?"

[The Soldier pushes the Scout aside and begins to 'decode' the combination]

Soldier: "All right, all right, I got aids. Stand back son. 5, 6, 7, umm... 8!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Heavy comes around the corner, Sasha in-hand, charging towards the Scout and Soldier]

Heavy: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

[Heavy shoulder-barges the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the Intelligence Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still here!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with the BLU Sniper's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[Meet the spy' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying the dead Sniper towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Soldier: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits the Sniper's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his Razorback.]

Soldier: "...and a Cake."

[The Scout approaches and removes the knife.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[The Scout attempts to manipulate the knife like the Spy, only to cut himself on the finger and drop it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "Your words are as empty as your soul, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Scout: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Soldier & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to r*pe the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be my father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and his Father.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and disbelief]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to f**k us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring my father will be the second worst thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Soldier and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and slaps the soldier silly.]

Soldier: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the Hydro tunnels. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Vagineer. He slides a Scout's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]

Vagineer: "Yrtnes Nwod!"

[The BLU Vagineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his Pistol, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. The dead Vagineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at a target off-screen.]

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to our colleagues!"

[Flash back to the BLU Sniper, now alive and sniping from a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a empty BONK! can, alerting the Sniper who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and the Sniper is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a BLU Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy breaks the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans testicles.]

Medic: (Dances)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be Scout's Father!! He could be me! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Soldier, Shotgun in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Soldier: "What? It was obvious! [The Soldier pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh. He's the Scout's Mother! Watch, he'll turn red any second now..."

[The Soldier and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Soldier prodding the Spy's foot with his Shotgun.]

Soldier: "Any second now... See? Red! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Soldier and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron]

Heavy: "So, we still got cake..."

Soldier: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this Spy?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the stabbing of the Soldier and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Petite Chou-Fleur plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the BLU spy's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh... ma petite chou-fleur."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's pizza box in tow.]

[robber7275]

Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Soldier watching the board]

Soldier: "Painis Cupcake is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Soldier reaches from off-screen and pulls a Shotgun off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Soldier dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

The Administrator: "Protect the pizza box!"

Soldier: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Scout: "Yo, a dispenser here!?"

[The Soldier pushes the Scout aside and begins to 'decode' the combination]

Soldier: "All right, all right, I got aids. Stand back son. 5, 6, 7, umm... 8!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-



Heavy: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

[Heavy shoulder-barges the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the Intelligence Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still here!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with the BLU Sniper's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[Meet the spy' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying the dead Sniper towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Soldier: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits the Sniper's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his Razorback.]

Soldier: "...and a Cake."

[The Scout approaches and removes the knife.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[The Scout attempts to manipulate the knife like the Spy, only to cut himself on the finger and drop it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "Your words are as empty as your soul, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Scout: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Soldier & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to r*pe the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be my father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and his Father.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and disbelief]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to f**k us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring my father will be the second worst thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Soldier and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and slaps the soldier silly.]

Soldier: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the Hydro tunnels. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Vagineer. He slides a Scout's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]

Vagineer: "Yrtnes Nwod!"

[The BLU Vagineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his Pistol, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. The dead Vagineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at a target off-screen.]

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to our colleagues!"

[Flash back to the BLU Sniper, now alive and sniping from a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a empty BONK! can, alerting the Sniper who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and the Sniper is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a BLU Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy breaks the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans testicles.]

Medic: (Dances)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be Scout's Father!! He could be me! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Soldier, Shotgun in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Soldier: "What? It was obvious! [The Soldier pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh. He's the Scout's Mother! Watch, he'll turn red any second now..."

[The Soldier and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Soldier prodding the Spy's foot with his Shotgun.]

Soldier: "Any second now... See? Red! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Soldier and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron]

Heavy: "So, we still got cake..."

Soldier: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this Spy?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the [B]F**king of the Soldier and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Petite Chou-Fleur plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the BLU spy's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh... ma petite chou-fleur."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's pizza box in tow.]

[Enigma314]

Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Soldier watching the board]

Soldier: "Painis Cupcake is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Soldier reaches from off-screen and pulls a Shotgun off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Soldier dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

The Administrator: "Protect the pizza box!"

Soldier: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Scout: "Yo, a dispenser here!?"

[The Soldier pushes the Scout aside and begins to 'decode' the combination]

Soldier: "All right, all right, I got aids. Stand back son. 5, 6, 7, umm... 8!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-



Heavy: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

[Heavy shoulder-barges the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the Intelligence Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still here!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with the BLU Sniper's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[[B]An encounter with the Entrepreneur of Sensory Shapeshifting with Purpose of Infiltrationary Actions' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying the dead Sniper towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Soldier: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits the Sniper's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his Razorback.]

Soldier: "...and a Cake."

[The Scout approaches and removes the knife.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[The Scout attempts to manipulate the knife like the Spy, only to cut himself on the finger and drop it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "Your words are as empty as your soul, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Scout: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Soldier & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to r*pe the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be my father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and his Father.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and disbelief]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to f**k us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring my father will be the second worst thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Soldier and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and slaps the soldier silly.]

Soldier: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the Hydro tunnels. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Vagineer. He slides a Scout's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]

Vagineer: "Yrtnes Nwod!"

[The BLU Vagineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his Pistol, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. The dead Vagineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at a target off-screen.]

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to our colleagues!"

[Flash back to the BLU Sniper, now alive and sniping from a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a empty BONK! can, alerting the Sniper who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and the Sniper is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a BLU Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy breaks the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans testicles.]

Medic: (Dances)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be Scout's Father!! He could be me! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Soldier, Shotgun in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Soldier: "What? It was obvious! [The Soldier pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh. He's the Scout's Mother! Watch, he'll turn red any second now..."

[The Soldier and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Soldier prodding the Spy's foot with his Shotgun.]

Soldier: "Any second now... See? Red! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Soldier and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron]

Heavy: "So, we still got cake..."

Soldier: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this Spy?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the F**king of the Soldier and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Petite Chou-Fleur plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the BLU spy's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh... ma petite chou-fleur."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's pizza box in tow.]

[Dark Lyra]

Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching the board]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Soldier reaches from off-screen and pulls a Shotgun off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Soldier dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

The Administrator: "Protect the pizza box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Scout: "Yo, a dispenser here!?"

[The Creeper pushes the Scout aside and begins to 'decode' the combination]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got aids. Stand back son. 5, 6, 7, umm... 8!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Heavy comes around the corner, Sasha in-hand, charging towards the Scout and Creeper]

Heavy: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

[Heavy shoulder-barges the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the Intelligence Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still here!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with the BLU Sniper's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[An encounter with the Entrepreneur of Sensory Shapeshifting with Purpose of Infiltrationary Actions' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying the dead Sniper towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits the Sniper's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his Razorback.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Scout approaches and removes the knife.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[The Scout attempts to manipulate the knife like the Spy, only to cut himself on the finger and drop it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "Your words are as empty as your soul, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Scout: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to r*pe the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be my father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and his Father.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and disbelief]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to f**k us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring my father will be the second worst thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Soldier and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and slaps the soldier silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the Hydro tunnels. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Vagineer. He slides a Scout's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]

Vagineer: "Yrtnes Nwod!"

[The BLU Vagineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his Pistol, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. The dead Vagineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at a target off-screen.]

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to our colleagues!"

[Flash back to the BLU Sniper, now alive and sniping from a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a empty BONK! can, alerting the Sniper who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and the Sniper is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a BLU Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy breaks the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans testicles.]

Medic: (Dances)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be Scout's Father!! He could be me! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Soldier, Shotgun in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Soldier pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh. He's the Scout's Mother! Watch, he'll turn red any second now..."

[The Soldier and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Soldier prodding the Spy's foot with his Shotgun.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Red! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron]

Heavy: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this Spy?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the F**king of the Soldier and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Petite Chou-Fleur plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the BLU spy's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh... ma petite chou-fleur."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's pizza box in tow.]

[Tis a Mystery]

Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching the board]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Soldier reaches from off-screen and pulls a Shotgun off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Soldier dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

The Administrator: "Protect the pizza box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Scout: "Yo, a dispenser here!?"

[The Creeper pushes the Scout aside and begins to 'decode' the combination]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got aids. Stand back son. 5, 6, 7, umm... 8!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Heavy comes around the corner, Sasha in-hand, charging towards the Scout and Creeper]

Heavy: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

[Heavy shoulder-barges the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the Intelligence Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still here!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with the BLU Sniper's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[An encounter with the Entrepreneur of Sensory Shapeshifting with Purpose of Infiltrationary Actions' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying the dead Sniper towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits the Sniper's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his Razorback.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Scout approaches and removes the knife.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[The Scout attempts to manipulate the knife like the Spy, only to cut himself on the finger and drop it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "Your words are as empty as your soul, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Scout: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to r*pe the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be my father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and his Father.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and disbelief]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to f**k us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring my father will be the second worst thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Soldier and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and slaps the soldier silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the Hydro tunnels. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Vagineer. He slides a Scout's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]

Vagineer: "Yrtnes Nwod!"

[The BLU Vagineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his Pistol, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. The dead Vagineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at a target off-screen.]

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to our colleagues!"

[Flash back to the BLU Sniper, now alive and sniping from a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a empty BONK! can, alerting the Sniper who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and the Sniper is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a BLU Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy breaks the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans testicles.]

Medic: (Dances)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be Scout's Father!! He could be me! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Soldier, Shotgun in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Soldier pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh. He's the Scout's Mother! Watch, he'll turn red any second now..."

[The Soldier and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Soldier prodding the Spy's foot with his Shotgun.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Red! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron]

Heavy: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this Spy?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the F**king of the Soldier and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Petite Chou-Fleur plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the BLU spy's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh...now to take care of Osama Bin Laden."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's pizza box in tow.]

[Piippo]

Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching the board]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Soldier reaches from off-screen and pulls a Shotgun off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Soldier dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

The Administrator: "Protect the pizza box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Scout: "Yo, a dispenser here!?"

[The Creeper pushes the Scout aside and begins to 'decode' the combination]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got aids. Stand back son. 5, 6, 7, umm... 8!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Heavy comes around the corner, Sasha in-hand, charging towards the Scout and Creeper]

Heavy: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

[Heavy shoulder-barges the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the Intelligence Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still here!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with the BLU Sniper's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[An encounter with the Entrepreneur of Sensory Shapeshifting with Purpose of Infiltrationary Actions' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying the dead Sniper towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits the Sniper's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his Razorback.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Scout approaches and removes the knife.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[The Scout attempts to manipulate the knife like the Spy, only to cut himself on the finger and drop it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "Your words are as empty as your soul, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Scout: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to r*pe the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be my father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and his Father.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and disbelief]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to f**k us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring my father will be the second best thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Soldier and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and slaps the soldier silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the Hydro tunnels. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Vagineer. He slides a Scout's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]

Vagineer: "Yrtnes Nwod!"

[The BLU Vagineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his Pistol, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. The dead Vagineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at a target off-screen.]

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to our colleagues!"

[Flash back to the BLU Sniper, now alive and sniping from a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a empty BONK! can, alerting the Sniper who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and the Sniper is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a BLU Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy breaks the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans testicles.]

Medic: (Dances)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be Scout's Father!! He could be me! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Soldier, Shotgun in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Soldier pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh. He's the Scout's Mother! Watch, he'll turn red any second now..."

[The Soldier and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Soldier prodding the Spy's foot with his Shotgun.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Red! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron]

Heavy: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this Spy?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the F**king of the Soldier and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Petite Chou-Fleur plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the BLU spy's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh...now to take care of Osama Bin Laden."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's pizza box in tow.]

[Kozmo]

Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching the board]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Soldier reaches from off-screen and pulls a Shotgun off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Soldier dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

GLaDOS: "Protect the pizza box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Scout: "Yo, a dispenser here!?"

[The Creeper pushes the Scout aside and begins to 'decode' the combination]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got aids. Stand back son. 5, 6, 7, umm... 8!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Heavy comes around the corner, Sasha in-hand, charging towards the Scout and Creeper]

Heavy: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

[Heavy shoulder-barges the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the Intelligence Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still here!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with the BLU Sniper's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[An encounter with the Entrepreneur of Sensory Shapeshifting with Purpose of Infiltrationary Actions' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying the dead Sniper towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits the Sniper's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his Razorback.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Scout approaches and removes the knife.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[The Scout attempts to manipulate the knife like the Spy, only to cut himself on the finger and drop it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "Your words are as empty as your soul, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Scout: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to r*pe the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be my father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and his Father.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and disbelief]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to f**k us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring my father will be the second best thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Soldier and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and slaps the soldier silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the Hydro tunnels. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Vagineer. He slides a Scout's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]

Vagineer: "Yrtnes Nwod!"

[The BLU Vagineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his Pistol, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. The dead Vagineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at a target off-screen.]

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to our colleagues!"

[Flash back to the BLU Sniper, now alive and sniping from a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a empty BONK! can, alerting the Sniper who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and the Sniper is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a BLU Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy breaks the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans testicles.]

Medic: (Dances)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be Scout's Father!! He could be me! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Soldier, Shotgun in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Soldier pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh. He's the Scout's Mother! Watch, he'll turn red any second now..."

[The Soldier and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Soldier prodding the Spy's foot with his Shotgun.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Red! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron]

Heavy: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this Spy?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the F**king of the Soldier and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Petite Chou-Fleur plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the BLU spy's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh...now to take care of Osama Bin Laden."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's pizza box in tow.]

[<Witty name>]

Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching the board]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Soldier reaches from off-screen and pulls a Shotgun off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Soldier dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

GLaDOS: "Protect the pizza box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Scout: "Yo, a dispenser here!?"

[The Creeper pushes the Scout aside and begins to 'decode' the combination]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got aids. Stand back son. 5, 6, 7, umm... 8!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-



Heavy: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

[Heavy shoulder-barges the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the Intelligence Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still [b]hot!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with the BLU Sniper's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[An encounter with the Entrepreneur of Sensory Shapeshifting with Purpose of Infiltrationary Actions' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying the dead Sniper towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits the Sniper's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his Razorback.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Scout approaches and removes the knife.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[The Scout attempts to manipulate the knife like the Spy, only to cut himself on the finger and drop it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "Your words are as empty as your soul, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Scout: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to r*pe the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be my father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and his Father.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and disbelief]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to f**k us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring my father will be the second best thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Soldier and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and slaps the soldier silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the Hydro tunnels. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Vagineer. He slides a Scout's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]

Vagineer: "Yrtnes Nwod!"

[The BLU Vagineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his Pistol, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. The dead Vagineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at a target off-screen.]

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to our colleagues!"

[Flash back to the BLU Sniper, now alive and sniping from a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a empty BONK! can, alerting the Sniper who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and the Sniper is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a BLU Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy breaks the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans testicles.]

Medic: (Dances)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be Scout's Father!! He could be me! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Soldier, Shotgun in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Soldier pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh. He's the Scout's Mother! Watch, he'll turn red any second now..."

[The Soldier and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Soldier prodding the Spy's foot with his Shotgun.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Red! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron]

Heavy: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this Spy?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the F**king of the Soldier and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Petite Chou-Fleur plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the BLU spy's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh...now to take care of Osama Bin Laden."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's pizza box in tow.]

[pyroforpres]

NOTE: I am editing the Soldier to Creeper change that someone did. I'm not changing the word, just replacing all the other "Soldiers" that he missed before. The edited ones that were missed before are going to be in orange. My edit will still be in Red Bold Underline. Also you need to read the Change One Word: Meet the Heavy to understand this.

Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching the board]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Creeper reaches from off-screen and pulls a Shotgun off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Creeper dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

GLaDOS: "Protect the pizza box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Scout: "Yo, a dispenser here!?"

[The Creeper pushes the Scout aside and begins to 'decode' the combination]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got aids. Stand back son. 5, 6, 7, umm... 8!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-

[B]Banana[/COLOR] in-hand, charging towards the Scout and Creeper]

Heavy: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

[Heavy shoulder-barges the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the Intelligence Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still hot!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with the BLU Sniper's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[An encounter with the Entrepreneur of Sensory Shapeshifting with Purpose of Infiltrationary Actions' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying the dead Sniper towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits the Sniper's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his Razorback.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Scout approaches and removes the knife.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[The Scout attempts to manipulate the knife like the Spy, only to cut himself on the finger and drop it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "Your words are as empty as your soul, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Scout: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to r*pe the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be my father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and his Father.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and disbelief]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to f**k us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring my father will be the second best thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Creeper and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and slaps the Creeper silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the Hydro tunnels. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Vagineer. He slides a Scout's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]

Vagineer: "Yrtnes Nwod!"

[The BLU Vagineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his Pistol, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. The dead Vagineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at a target off-screen.]

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to our colleagues!"

[Flash back to the BLU Sniper, now alive and sniping from a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a empty BONK! can, alerting the Sniper who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and the Sniper is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a BLU Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy breaks the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans testicles.]

Medic: (Dances)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be Scout's Father!! He could be me! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Creeper, Shotgun in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Creeper pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh. He's the Scout's Mother! Watch, he'll turn red any second now..."

[The Creeper and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Creeper prodding the Spy's foot with his Shotgun.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Red! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron]

Heavy: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this Spy?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the F**king of the Creeper and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Petite Chou-Fleur plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the BLU spy's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh...now to take care of Osama Bin Laden."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's pizza box in tow.]

[MrKoenig]

Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching the board]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Creeper reaches from off-screen and pulls a Shotgun off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Creeper dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

GLaDOS: "Protect the pizza box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Scout: "Yo, a dispenser here!?"

[The Creeper pushes the Scout aside and begins to 'decode' the combination]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got aids. Stand back son. 5, 6, 7, umm... 8!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Heavy comes around the corner, Banana in-hand, charging towards the Scout and Creeper]

Heavy: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

[Heavy shoulder-barges the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the Intelligence Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still hot!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with the BLU Sniper's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[An encounter with the Entrepreneur of Sensory Shapeshifting with Purpose of Infiltrationary Actions' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying the dead Sniper towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits the Sniper's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his Razorback.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Scout approaches and removes the knife.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[The Scout attempts to manipulate the knife like the Spy, only to cut himself on the finger and drop it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "Your words are as empty as your inventory, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Scout: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to r*pe the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be my father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and his Father.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and disbelief]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to f**k us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring my father will be the second best thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Creeper and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and slaps the Creeper silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the Hydro tunnels. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Vagineer. He slides a Scout's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]

Vagineer: "Yrtnes Nwod!"

[The BLU Vagineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his Pistol, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. The dead Vagineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at a target off-screen.]

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to our colleagues!"

[Flash back to the BLU Sniper, now alive and sniping from a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a empty BONK! can, alerting the Sniper who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and the Sniper is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a BLU Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy breaks the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans testicles.]

Medic: (Dances)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be Scout's Father!! He could be me! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Creeper, Shotgun in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Creeper pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh. He's the Scout's Mother! Watch, he'll turn red any second now..."

[The Creeper and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Creeper prodding the Spy's foot with his Shotgun.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Red! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron]

Heavy: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this Spy?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the F**king of the Creeper and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Petite Chou-Fleur plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the BLU spy's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh...now to take care of Osama Bin Laden."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's pizza box in tow.]

[Kruzeider]

Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching the board]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Creeper reaches from off-screen and pulls a Shotgun off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Creeper dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

GLaDOS: "Protect the pizza box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Scout: "Yo, a dispenser here!?"

[The Creeper pushes the Scout aside and begins to 'decode' the combination]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got aids. Stand back son. 5, 6, 7, umm... 8!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Heavy comes around the corner, Banana in-hand, charging towards the Scout and Creeper]

Heavy: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

[Heavy shoulder-barges the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the Intelligence Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still hot!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with the BLU Sniper's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[An encounter with the Entrepreneur of Sensory Shapeshifting with Purpose of Infiltrationary Actions' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying the dead Sniper towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits the Sniper's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his Razorback.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Scout approaches and removes the knife.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[The Scout attempts to manipulate the knife like the Spy, only to cut himself on the finger and drop it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "Your words are as empty as your inventory, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Scout: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to r*pe the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be my father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and his Father.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and disbelief]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to f**k us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring my father will be the second best thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Creeper and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and slaps the Creeper silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the Hydro tunnels. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Vagineer. He slides a Scout's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]

Vagineer: "Yrtnes Nwod!"

[The BLU Vagineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his Pistol, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. The dead Vagineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at a target off-screen.]

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to our colleagues!"

[Flash back to the BLU Sniper, now alive and Fapping in a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a empty BONK! can, alerting the Sniper who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and the Sniper is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a BLU Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy breaks the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans testicles.]

Medic: (Dances)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be Scout's Father!! He could be me! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Creeper, Shotgun in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Creeper pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh. He's the Scout's Mother! Watch, he'll turn red any second now..."

[The Creeper and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Creeper prodding the Spy's foot with his Shotgun.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Red! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron]

Heavy: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this Spy?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the F**king of the Creeper and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Petite Chou-Fleur plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the BLU spy's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh...now to take care of Osama Bin Laden."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's pizza box in tow.]

[Dog in yard]

Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching the board]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Creeper reaches from off-screen and pulls a Pocket Medic off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Creeper dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

GLaDOS: "Protect the pizza box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Scout: "Yo, a dispenser here!?"

[The Creeper pushes the Scout aside and begins to 'decode' the combination]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got aids. Stand back son. 5, 6, 7, umm... 8!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-



Heavy: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

[Heavy shoulder-barges the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the Intelligence Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still hot!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with the BLU Sniper's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[An encounter with the Entrepreneur of Sensory Shapeshifting with Purpose of Infiltrationary Actions' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying the dead Sniper towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits the Sniper's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his Razorback.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Scout approaches and removes the knife.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[The Scout attempts to manipulate the knife like the Spy, only to cut himself on the finger and drop it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "Your words are as empty as your inventory, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Scout: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to r*pe the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be my father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and his Father.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and disbelief]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to f**k us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring my father will be the second best thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Creeper and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and slaps the Creeper silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the Hydro tunnels. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Vagineer. He slides a Scout's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]

Vagineer: "Yrtnes Nwod!"

[The BLU Vagineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his Pistol, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. The dead Vagineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at a target off-screen.]

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to our colleagues!"

[Flash back to the BLU Sniper, now alive and Fapping in a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a empty BONK! can, alerting the Sniper who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and the Sniper is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a BLU Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy breaks the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans testicles.]

Medic: (Dances)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be Scout's Father!! He could be me! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Creeper, [B]Pocket Medic in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Creeper pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh. He's the Scout's Mother! Watch, he'll turn red any second now..."

[The Creeper and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Creeper prodding the Spy's foot with his Pocket Medic.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Red! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron]

Heavy: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this Spy?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the F**king of the Creeper and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Petite Chou-Fleur plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the BLU spy's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh...now to take care of Osama Bin Laden."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's pizza box in tow.]

[Kozmo]

Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching the board]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Creeper reaches from off-screen and pulls a Pocket Medic off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Creeper dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

GLaDOS: "Protect the pizza box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Scout: "Yo, a dispenser here!?"

[The Creeper pushes the Scout aside and begins to 'decode' the combination]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got aids. Stand back son. 5, 6, 7, umm... 8!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-



Heavy: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

[Heavy shoulder-barges the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the Intelligence Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still hot!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with the BLU Sniper's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[An encounter with the Entrepreneur of Sensory Shapeshifting with Purpose of Infiltrationary Actions' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying the dead Sniper towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits the Sniper's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his Razorback.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Scout approaches and removes the knife.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[The Scout attempts to manipulate the knife like the Spy, only to cut himself on the finger and drop it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "Your words are as empty as your inventory, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Scout: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to r*pe the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be my father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and his Father.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and disbelief]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to f**k us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring my father will be the second best thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Creeper and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and slaps the Creeper silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the Hydro tunnels. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Vagineer. He slides a Scout's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]

Vagineer: "Yrtnes Nwod!"

[The BLU Vagineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his Pistol, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. The dead Vagineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at a target off-screen.]

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to our colleagues!"

[Flash back to the BLU Sniper, now alive and Fapping in a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a empty BONK! can, alerting the Sniper who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and the Sniper is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a BLU Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy [B]eats the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans testicles.]

Medic: (Dances)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be Scout's Father!! He could be me! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Creeper, Pocket Medic in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Creeper pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh. He's the Scout's Mother! Watch, he'll turn red any second now..."

[The Creeper and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Creeper prodding the Spy's foot with his Pocket Medic.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Red! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron]

Heavy: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this Spy?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the F**king of the Creeper and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Petite Chou-Fleur plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the BLU spy's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh...now to take care of Osama Bin Laden."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's pizza box in tow.]

[HitmanFTW]

Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching the board]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Creeper reaches from off-screen and pulls a Pocket Medic off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Creeper dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

GLaDOS: "Protect the pizza box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Scout: "Yo, a dispenser here!?"

[The Creeper pushes the Scout aside and begins to 'decode' the combination]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got aids. Stand back son. 5, 6, 7, umm... 8!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-



Heavy: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

[Heavy shoulder-barges the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the Intelligence Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still hot!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with the BLU Sniper's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[An encounter with the Entrepreneur of Sensory Shapeshifting with Purpose of Infiltrationary Actions' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying the dead Sniper towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits the Sniper's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his Razorback.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Scout approaches and removes the knife.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[The Scout attempts to manipulate the knife like the Spy, only to cut himself on the finger and drop it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "Your words are as empty as your inventory, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Scout: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to r*pe the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be my father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographys of the RED Spy and his Father.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and disbelief]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to f**k us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring my father will be the second best thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Creeper and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and slaps the Creeper silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the Hydro tunnels. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Vagineer. He slides a Scout's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]

Vagineer: "Yrtnes Nwod!"

[The BLU Vagineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his Pistol, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. The dead Vagineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at a target off-screen.]

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to our colleagues!"

[Flash back to the BLU Sniper, now alive and Fapping in a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a empty BONK! can, alerting the Sniper who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and the Sniper is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a BLU Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy eats the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans testicles.]

Medic: (Dances)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be Scout's Father!! He could be me! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Creeper, Pocket Medic in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Creeper pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh. He's the Scout's Mother! Watch, he'll turn red any second now..."

[The Creeper and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Creeper prodding the Spy's foot with his Pocket Medic.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Red! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron]

Heavy: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this Spy?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the F**king of the Creeper and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[[B]Rick Roll plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the BLU spy's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh...now to take care of Osama Bin Laden."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's pizza box in tow.]

[Kruzeider]

Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching the board]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Creeper reaches from off-screen and pulls a Pocket Medic off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Creeper dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

GLaDOS: "Protect the pizza box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Scout: "Yo, a dispenser here!?"

[The Creeper pushes the Scout aside and begins to 'decode' the combination]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got aids. Stand back son. 5, 6, 7, umm... 8!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Heavy comes around the corner, Banana in-hand, charging towards the Scout and Creeper]

Heavy: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

[Heavy shoulder-barges the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the Intelligence Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still hot!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with the BLU Sniper's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[An encounter with the Entrepreneur of Sensory Shapeshifting with Purpose of Infiltrationary Actions' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying the dead Sniper towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits the Sniper's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his Razorback.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Scout approaches and removes the knife.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[The Scout attempts to manipulate the knife like the Spy, only to cut himself on the finger and drop it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "Your words are as empty as your inventory, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Scout: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to r*pe the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be my father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographys of the RED Spy and his Father.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and disbelief]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to f**k us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring my father will be the second best thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Creeper and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and slaps the Creeper silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the Hydro tunnels. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Vagineer. He slides a Scout's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]

Vagineer: "Yrtnes Nwod!"

[The BLU Vagineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his Pistol, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. The dead Vagineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at a target off-screen.]

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to our colleagues!"

[Flash back to the BLU Sniper, now alive and Fapping in a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a empty BONK! can, alerting the Sniper who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and the Sniper is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a BLU Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy eats the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans testicles.]

Medic: (Dances)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be Scout's Father!! He could be me! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Creeper, Pocket Medic in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Creeper pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh. He's the Scout's Mother! Watch, he'll turn green any second now..."

[The Creeper and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Creeper prodding the Spy's foot with his Pocket Medic.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Green! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell's vomit."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron]

Heavy: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this Spy?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the F**king of the Creeper and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Rick Roll plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the BLU spy's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh...now to take care of Osama Bin Laden."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's pizza box in tow.]

[MacD15]

Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching the board]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Creeper reaches from off-screen and pulls a Pocket Medic off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Creeper dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

GLaDOS: "Protect the pizza box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Scout: "Yo, a dispenser here!?"

[The Creeper pushes the Scout aside and begins to 'decode' the combination]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got aids. Stand back son. 5, 6, 7, umm... 8!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Heavy comes around the corner, Banana in-hand, charging towards the Scout and Creeper]

Heavy: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

[Heavy shoulder-barges the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the Intelligence Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still hot!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with the BLU Sniper's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[An encounter with the Entrepreneur of Sensory Shapeshifting with Purpose of Infiltrationary Actions' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying the dead Sniper towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits the Sniper's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his Razorback.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Scout approaches and removes the knife.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[The Scout attempts to manipulate the knife like the Spy, only to cut himself on the finger and drop it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "Your words are as empty as your inventory, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Scout: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to r*pe the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be my father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographys of the RED Spy and his Father.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and disbelief]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to f**k us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring my father will be the second best thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Creeper and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and slaps the Creeper silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the BLU Team's Anuses.. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Vagineer. He slides a Scout's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]

Vagineer: "Yrtnes Nwod!"

[The BLU Vagineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his Pistol, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. The dead Vagineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at a target off-screen.]

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to our colleagues!"

[Flash back to the BLU Sniper, now alive and Fapping in a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a empty BONK! can, alerting the Sniper who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and the Sniper is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a BLU Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy eats the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans testicles.]

Medic: (Dances)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be Scout's Father!! He could be me! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Creeper, Pocket Medic in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Creeper pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh. He's the Scout's Mother! Watch, he'll turn green any second now..."

[The Creeper and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Creeper prodding the Spy's foot with his Pocket Medic.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Green! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell's vomit."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron]

Heavy: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this Spy?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the F**king of the Creeper and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Rick Roll plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the BLU spy's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh...now to take care of Osama Bin Laden."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's pizza box in tow.]

[Stimms]

Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching the board]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Creeper reaches from off-screen and pulls a Pocket Medic off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Creeper dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

GLaDOS: "Protect the pizza box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Scout: "Yo, a dispenser here!?"

[The Creeper pushes the Scout aside and begins to 'decode' the combination]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got aids. Stand back son. 5, 6, 7, umm... 8!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-



Heavy: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

[Heavy shoulder-barges the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the Intelligence Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still hot!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with the BLU Sniper's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[An encounter with the Entrepreneur of Sensory Shapeshifting with Purpose of Infiltrationary Actions' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying the dead Sniper towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits the Sniper's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his Razorback.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Scout approaches and removes the knife.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[The Scout attempts to manipulate the knife like the Spy, only to cut himself on the finger and drop it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "Your words are as empty as your inventory, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Scout: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to r*pe the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be my father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographys of the RED Spy and his Father.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and disbelief]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to [B]molest us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring my father will be the second best thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Creeper and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and slaps the Creeper silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the BLU Team's Anuses.. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Vagineer. He slides a Scout's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]

Vagineer: "Yrtnes Nwod!"

[The BLU Vagineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his Pistol, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. The dead Vagineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at a target off-screen.]

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to our colleagues!"

[Flash back to the BLU Sniper, now alive and Fapping in a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a empty BONK! can, alerting the Sniper who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and the Sniper is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a BLU Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy eats the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans testicles.]

Medic: (Dances)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be Scout's Father!! He could be me! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Creeper, Pocket Medic in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Creeper pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh. He's the Scout's Mother! Watch, he'll turn green any second now..."

[The Creeper and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Creeper prodding the Spy's foot with his Pocket Medic.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Green! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell's vomit."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron]

Heavy: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this Spy?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the F**king of the Creeper and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Rick Roll plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the BLU spy's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh...now to take care of Osama Bin Laden."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's pizza box in tow.]

[Kozmo]

Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching the board]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Creeper reaches from off-screen and pulls a Pocket Medic off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Creeper dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

GLaDOS: "Protect the pizza box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Scout: "Yo, a dispenser here!?"

[The Creeper shoots the Scout and begins to 'decode' the combination]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got aids. Stand back son. 5, 6, 7, umm... 8!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Heavy comes around the corner, Banana in-hand, charging towards the Scout and Creeper]

Heavy: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

[Heavy shoulder-barges the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the Intelligence Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still hot!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with the BLU Sniper's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[An encounter with the Entrepreneur of Sensory Shapeshifting with Purpose of Infiltrationary Actions' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying the dead Sniper towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits the Sniper's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his Razorback.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Scout approaches and removes the knife.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[The Scout attempts to manipulate the knife like the Spy, only to cut himself on the finger and drop it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "Your words are as empty as your inventory, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Scout: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to r*pe the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be my father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and his Father.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and disbelief]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to molest us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring my father will be the second best thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Creeper and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and slaps the Creeper silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the BLU Team's Anuses.. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Vagineer. He slides a Scout's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]

Vagineer: "Yrtnes Nwod!"

[The BLU Vagineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his Pistol, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. The dead Vagineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at a target off-screen.]

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to our colleagues!"

[Flash back to the BLU Sniper, now alive and Fapping in a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a empty BONK! can, alerting the Sniper who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and the Sniper is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a BLU Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy eats the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans testicles.]

Medic: (Dances)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be Scout's Father!! He could be me! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Creeper, Pocket Medic in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Creeper pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh. He's the Scout's Mother! Watch, he'll turn green any second now..."

[The Creeper and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Creeper prodding the Spy's foot with his Pocket Medic.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Green! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell's vomit."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron]

Heavy: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this Spy?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the F**king of the Creeper and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Rick Roll plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the BLU spy's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh...now to take care of Osama Bin Laden."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's pizza box in tow.]

[Enigma314]

Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching the board]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Creeper reaches from off-screen and pulls a Pocket Medic off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Creeper dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

GLaDOS: "Protect the pizza box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Scout: "Need a dispenser here!"

[The Creeper shoots the Scout and begins to 'decode' the combination]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got aids. Stand back son. 5, 6, 7, umm... 8!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Heavy comes around the corner, Banana in-hand, charging towards the Scout and Creeper]

Heavy: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

[Heavy shoulder-barges the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the Intelligence Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still hot!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with the BLU Sniper's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[An encounter with the Entrepreneur of Sensory Shapeshifting with Purpose of Infiltrationary Actions' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying the dead Sniper towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits the Sniper's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his Razorback.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Scout approaches and removes the knife.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[The Scout attempts to manipulate the knife like the Spy, only to cut himself on the finger and drop it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "Your words are as empty as your inventory, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Scout: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to r*pe the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be my father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and his Father.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and disbelief]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to molest us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring my father will be the second best thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Creeper and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and slaps the Creeper silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the BLU Team's Anuses.. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Vagineer. He slides a Scout's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]

Vagineer: "Yrtnes Nwod!"

[The BLU Vagineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his Pistol, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. The dead Vagineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at a target off-screen.]

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to our colleagues!"

[Flash back to the BLU Sniper, now alive and Fapping in a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a empty BONK! can, alerting the Sniper who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and the Sniper is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a BLU Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy eats the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans testicles.]

Medic: (Dances)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be Scout's Father!! He could be me! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Creeper, Pocket Medic in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Creeper pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh. He's the Scout's Mother! Watch, he'll turn green any second now..."

[The Creeper and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Creeper prodding the Spy's foot with his Pocket Medic.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Green! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell's vomit."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron]

Heavy: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this Spy?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the F**king of the Creeper and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Rick Roll plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the BLU spy's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh...now to take care of Osama Bin Laden."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's pizza box in tow.]

[shadowfork392]

Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching the board]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Creeper reaches from off-screen and pulls a Pocket Medic off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Creeper dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

GLaDOS: "Protect the pizza box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Scout: "Need a dispenser here!"

[The Creeper shoots the Scout and begins to 'decode' the combination]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got aids. Stand back son. 5, 6, 7, umm... 8!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Heavy comes around the corner, Banana in-hand, charging towards the Scout and Creeper]

Heavy: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

[Heavy penetrates the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the pizza box Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still hot!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with the BLU Sniper's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[An encounter with the Entrepreneur of Sensory Shapeshifting with Purpose of Infiltrationary Actions' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying the dead Sniper towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits the Sniper's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his Razorback.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Scout approaches and removes the knife.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[The Scout attempts to manipulate the knife like the Spy, only to cut himself on the finger and drop it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "Your words are as empty as your inventory, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Scout: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to r*pe the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be my father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and his Father.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and disbelief]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to molest us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring my father will be the second best thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Creeper and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and slaps the Creeper silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the BLU Team's Anuses.. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Vagineer. He slides a Scout's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]

Vagineer: "Yrtnes Nwod!"

[The BLU Vagineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his Pistol, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. The dead Vagineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at a target off-screen.]

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to our colleagues!"

[Flash back to the BLU Sniper, now alive and Fapping in a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a empty BONK! can, alerting the Sniper who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and the Sniper is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a BLU Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy eats the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans testicles.]

Medic: (Dances)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be Scout's Father!! He could be me! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Creeper, Pocket Medic in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Creeper pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh. He's the Scout's Mother! Watch, he'll turn green any second now..."

[The Creeper and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Creeper prodding the Spy's foot with his Pocket Medic.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Green! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell's vomit."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron]

Heavy: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this Spy?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the F**king of the Creeper and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Rick Roll plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the BLU spy's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh...now to take care of Osama Bin Laden."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's pizza box in tow.]
Meet the medic will be fun to change

[AnthonyX]

Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Soldier watching the board]

Soldier: "Painis Cupcake is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Soldier reaches from off-screen and pulls a Shotgun off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Soldier dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

The Administrator: "Protect the pizza box!"

Soldier: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Scout: "Yo, a dispenser here!?"

[The Soldier pushes the Scout aside and begins to 'decode' the combination]

Soldier: "All right, all right, I got aids. Stand back son. 5, 6, 7, umm... 8!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Heavy comes around the corner, Sasha in-hand, charging towards the Scout and Soldier]

Heavy: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

[Heavy shoulder-barges the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the Intelligence Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still here!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with the BLU Sniper's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[An encounter with the Entrepreneur of Sensory Shapeshifting with Purpose of Infiltrationary Actions' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying the dead Sniper towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Soldier: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits the Sniper's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his Razorback.]

Soldier: "...and a Cake."

[The Scout approaches and removes the knife.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[The Scout attempts to manipulate the knife like the Spy, only to cut himself on the PINGAS and drop it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "Your words are as empty as your soul, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Scout: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Soldier & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to r*pe the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be my father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and his Father.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and disbelief]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to f**k us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring my father will be the second worst thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Soldier and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and slaps the soldier silly.]

Soldier: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the Hydro tunnels. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Vagineer. He slides a Scout's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]

Vagineer: "Yrtnes Nwod!"

[The BLU Vagineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his Pistol, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. The dead Vagineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at a target off-screen.]

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to our colleagues!"

[Flash back to the BLU Sniper, now alive and sniping from a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a empty BONK! can, alerting the Sniper who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and the Sniper is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a BLU Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy breaks the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans testicles.]

Medic: (Dances)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be Scout's Father!! He could be me! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Soldier, Shotgun in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Soldier: "What? It was obvious! [The Soldier pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh. He's the Scout's Mother! Watch, he'll turn red any second now..."

[The Soldier and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Soldier prodding the Spy's foot with his Shotgun.]

Soldier: "Any second now... See? Red! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Soldier and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron]

Heavy: "So, we still got cake..."

Soldier: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this Spy?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the F**king of the Soldier and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Petite Chou-Fleur plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the BLU spy's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh... ma petite chou-fleur."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's pizza box in tow.]

[Kozmo]

Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching the board]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Creeper reaches from off-screen and pulls a Pocket Medic off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Creeper dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

GLaDOS: "Protect the pizza box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Scout: "Need a dispenser here!"

[The Creeper shoots the Scout and begins to 'decode' the combination]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got aids. Stand back son. 5, 6, 7, umm... 8!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-



Heavy: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

[Heavy penetrates the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the pizza box Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still hot!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with [B]Robin Walker's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[An encounter with the Entrepreneur of Sensory Shapeshifting with Purpose of Infiltrationary Actions' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying Robin Walker's body towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits Robin Walker's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his Razorback.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Scout approaches and removes the knife.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[The Scout attempts to manipulate the knife like the Spy, only to cut himself on the finger and drop it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "Your words are as empty as your inventory, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Scout: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to r*pe the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be my father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and his Father.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and disbelief]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to molest us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring my father will be the second best thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Creeper and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and slaps the Creeper silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the BLU Team's Anuses.. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Vagineer. He slides a Scout's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]

Vagineer: "Yrtnes Nwod!"

[The BLU Vagineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his Pistol, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. The dead Vagineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at a target off-screen.]

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to our colleagues!"

[Flash back to Robin Walker, now alive and Fapping in a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a empty BONK! can, alerting the Sniper who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and Robin is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a BLU Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy eats the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans testicles.]

Medic: (Dances)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be Scout's Father!! He could be me! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Creeper, Pocket Medic in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Creeper pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh. He's the Scout's Mother! Watch, he'll turn green any second now..."

[The Creeper and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Creeper prodding the Spy's foot with his Pocket Medic.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Green! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell's vomit."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron]

Heavy: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this Spy?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the F**king of the Creeper and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Rick Roll plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the BLU spy's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh...now to take care of Osama Bin Laden."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's pizza box in tow.]

[Sparkpin]

Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching the board]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Creeper reaches from off-screen and pulls a Pocket Medic off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Creeper dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

GLaDOS: "Protect the pizza box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Scout: "Need a dispenser here!"

[The Creeper shoots the Scout and begins to 'decode' the combination]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got aids. Stand back son. 5, 6, 7, umm... 8!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Heavy comes around the corner, Banana in-hand, charging towards the Scout and Creeper]

Heavy: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

[Heavy penetrates the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the pizza box Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still hot!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with Robin Walker's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[An encounter with the Entrepreneur of Sensory Shapeshifting with Purpose of Infiltrationary Actions' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying Robin Walker's body towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits Robin Walker's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his Razorback.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Scout approaches and removes the knife.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[The Scout attempts to manipulate the knife like the Spy, only to cut himself on the finger and drop it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "Your words are as empty as your inventory, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Scout: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to r*pe the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be my father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and his Father.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and disbelief]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to molest us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring my father will be the second best thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Creeper and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and slaps the Creeper silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the BLU Team's Anuses.. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Vagineer. He slides a Scout's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]

Vagineer: "Yrtnes Nwod!"

[The BLU Vagineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his Pistol, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. The dead Vagineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at a target off-screen.]

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to our colleagues!"

[Flash back to Robin Walker, now alive and Fapping in a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a empty BONK! can, alerting the Sniper who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and Robin is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a RED Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy eats the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans testicles.]

Medic: (Dances)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be Scout's Father!! He could be me! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Creeper, Pocket Medic in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Creeper pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh. He's the Scout's Mother! Watch, he'll turn green any second now..."

[The Creeper and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Creeper prodding the Spy's foot with his Pocket Medic.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Green! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell's vomit."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron]

Heavy: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this Spy?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the F**king of the Creeper and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Rick Roll plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the BLU spy's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh...now to take care of Osama Bin Laden."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's pizza box in tow.]

[DoorMaster]

Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching the board]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Creeper reaches from off-screen and pulls a Pocket Medic off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Creeper dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

GLaDOS: "Protect the pizza box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Scout: "Need a dispenser here!"

[The Creeper shoots the Scout and begins to 'decode' the combination]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got aids. Stand back son. 5, 6, 7, umm... 8!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-



Heavy: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

[Heavy penetrates the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the pizza box Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still hot!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with Robin Walker's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[An encounter with the Entrepreneur of Sensory Shapeshifting with Purpose of Infiltrationary Actions' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying Robin Walker's body towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits Robin Walker's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his Razorback.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Scout approaches and removes the knife.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[The Scout attempts to manipulate the knife like the Spy, only to himself on the finger and drop it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "Your words are as empty as your inventory, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Scout: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to r*pe the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be my father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and his Father.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and disbelief]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to molest us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring my father will be the second best thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Creeper and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and slaps the Creeper silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the BLU Team's Anuses.. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Vagineer. He slides a Scout's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]

Vagineer: "Nwod yrtnes!"

[The BLU Vagineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his Pistol, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. The dead Vagineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at a target off-screen.]

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to [B]trolls!"

[Flash back to Robin Walker, now alive and Fapping in a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a empty BONK! can, alerting the Sniper who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and Robin is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a RED Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy eats the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans testicles.]

Medic: (Dances)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be Scout's Father!! He could be me! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Creeper, Pocket Medic in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Creeper pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh. He's the Scout's Mother! Watch, he'll turn green any second now..."

[The Creeper and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Creeper prodding the Spy's foot with his Pocket Medic.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Green! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell's vomit."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron]

Heavy: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this Spy?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the F**king of the Creeper and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Rick Roll plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the BLU spy's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh...now to take care of Osama Bin Laden."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's pizza box in tow.]

[MegaManZer0]

Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching the board]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Creeper reaches from off-screen and pulls a Pocket Medic off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Creeper dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

GLaDOS: "Protect the pizza box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Scout: "Need a dispenser here!"

[The Creeper shoots the Scout and begins to 'decode' the combination]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got aids. Stand back son. 5, 6, 7, umm... 8!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Heavy comes around the corner, Banana in-hand, charging towards the Scout and Creeper]

Heavy: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

[Heavy penetrates the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the pizza box Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still hot!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with Robin Walker's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[An encounter with the Entrepreneur of Sensory Shapeshifting with Purpose of Infiltrationary Actions' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying Robin Walker's body towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits Robin Walker's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his Razorback.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Scout approaches and removes the knife.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[The Scout attempts to manipulate the knife like the Spy, only to himself on the finger and drop it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "Your words are as empty as your inventory, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Scout: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to r*pe the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be my father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and his Father.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and constipation]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to molest us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring my father will be the second best thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Creeper and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and slaps the Creeper silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the BLU Team's Anuses.. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Vagineer. He slides a Scout's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]

Vagineer: "Nwod yrtnes!"

[The BLU Vagineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his Pistol, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. The dead Vagineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at a target off-screen.]

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to trolls!"

[Flash back to Robin Walker, now alive and Fapping in a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a empty BONK! can, alerting the Sniper who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and Robin is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a RED Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy eats the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans testicles.]

Medic: (Dances)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be Scout's Father!! He could be me! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Creeper, Pocket Medic in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Creeper pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh. He's the Scout's Mother! Watch, he'll turn green any second now..."

[The Creeper and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Creeper prodding the Spy's foot with his Pocket Medic.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Green! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell's vomit."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron]

Heavy: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this Spy?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the F**king of the Creeper and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Rick Roll plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the BLU spy's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh...now to take care of Osama Bin Laden."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's pizza box in tow.]

[Alaskan Mafioso]

[Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching the board]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Creeper reaches from off-screen and pulls a Pocket Medic off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Creeper dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

GLaDOS: "Protect the pizza box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Scout: "Need a dispenser here!"

[The Creeper shoots the Scout and begins to 'decode' the combination]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got aids. Stand back son. 5, 6, 7, umm... 8!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-



Heavy: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

[Heavy penetrates the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the pizza box Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still hot!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with Robin Walker's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[An encounter with the Entrepreneur of Sensory Shapeshifting with Purpose of Infiltrationary Actions' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying Robin Walker's body towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits Robin Walker's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his Razorback.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Scout approaches and removes the knife.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[The Scout attempts to manipulate the knife like the Spy, only to himself on the finger and drop it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "Your words are as empty as your inventory, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Scout: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to r*pe the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be my father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and his Father.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and constipation]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to molest us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring my father will be the second best thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Creeper and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and slaps the Creeper silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the BLU Team's Anuses.. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Vagineer. He slides a Scout's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]

Vagineer: "Nwod yrtnes!"

[The BLU Vagineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his Pistol, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. The dead Vagineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at a target off-screen.]

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to trolls!"

[Flash back to Robin Walker, now alive and Fapping in a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a empty BONK! can, alerting the Sniper who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and Robin is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a RED Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy eats the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans testicles.]

Medic: (Dances [B]eroticly.)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be Scout's Father!! He could be me! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Creeper, Pocket Medic in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Creeper pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh. He's the Scout's Mother! Watch, he'll turn green any second now..."

[The Creeper and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Creeper prodding the Spy's foot with his Pocket Medic.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Green! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell's vomit."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron]

Heavy: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this Spy?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the F**king of the Creeper and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Rick Roll plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the BLU spy's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh...now to take care of Osama Bin Laden."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's pizza box in tow.]

[TMlord95]

[Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching the board]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Creeper reaches from off-screen and pulls a Pocket Medic off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Creeper dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

GLaDOS: "Protect the pizza box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Scout: "Need a dispenser here!"

[The Creeper shoots the Scout and begins to 'decode' the combination]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got aids. Stand back son. 5, 6, 7, umm... 8!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-



Heavy: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

[Heavy penetrates the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the pizza box Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still hot!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with Robin Walker's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[An encounter with the Entrepreneur of Sensory Shapeshifting with Purpose of Infiltrationary Actions' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying Robin Walker's body towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits Robin Walker's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his Razorback.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Scout approaches and removes the knife.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[The Scout attempts to manipulate the knife like the Spy, only to himself on the finger and drop it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "Your words are as empty as your inventory, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Scout: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to r*pe the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be my father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and his Father.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and constipation]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to molest us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring my father will be the second best thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Creeper and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and slaps the Creeper silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the BLU Team's Anuses.. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Vagineer. He slides a Scout's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]

Vagineer: "Nwod yrtnes!"

[The BLU Vagineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his Pistol, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. The dead Vagineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at [B]John F. Kennedy.

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to trolls!"

[Flash back to Robin Walker, now alive and Fapping in a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a empty BONK! can, alerting the Sniper who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and Robin is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a RED Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy eats the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans testicles.]

Medic: (Dances eroticly.)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be Scout's Father!! He could be me! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Creeper, Pocket Medic in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Creeper pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh. He's the Scout's Mother! Watch, he'll turn green any second now..."

[The Creeper and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Creeper prodding the Spy's foot with his Pocket Medic.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Green! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell's vomit."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron]

Heavy: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this Spy?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the F**king of the Creeper and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Rick Roll plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the BLU spy's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh...now to take care of Osama Bin Laden."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's pizza box in tow.]

[jaredpunk]

[Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching the board]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Creeper reaches from off-screen and pulls a Pocket Medic off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Creeper dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

GLaDOS: "Protect the pizza box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Scout: "Need a dispenser here!"

[The Creeper shoots the Scout and begins to 'decode' the combination]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got aids. Stand back son. 5, 6, 7, umm... 8!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Heavy comes around the corner, Banana in-hand, charging towards the Scout and Creeper]

Heavy: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

[Heavy penetrates the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the pizza box Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still hot!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with Robin Walker's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[An encounter with the Entrepreneur of Sensory Shapeshifting with Purpose of Infiltrationary Actions' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying Robin Walker's body towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits Robin Walker's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his Razorback.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Scout approaches and removes the knife.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[Donald Trump attempts to manipulate the U.S. economy like Obama, only to find his hair tipping over and drops it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "Your words are as empty as your inventory, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Scout: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to r*pe the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be my father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and his Father.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and constipation]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to molest us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring my father will be the second best thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Creeper and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and slaps the Creeper silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the BLU Team's Anuses.. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Vagineer. He slides a Scout's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]

Vagineer: "Nwod yrtnes!"

[The BLU Vagineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his Pistol, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. The dead Vagineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at John F. Kennedy.

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to trolls!"

[Flash back to Robin Walker, now alive and Fapping in a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a empty BONK! can, alerting the Sniper who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and Robin is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a RED Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy eats the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans testicles.]

Medic: (Dances eroticly.)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be Scout's Father!! He could be me! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Creeper, Pocket Medic in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Creeper pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh. He's the Scout's Mother! Watch, he'll turn green any second now..."

[The Creeper and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Creeper prodding the Spy's foot with his Pocket Medic.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Green! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell's vomit."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron]

Heavy: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this Spy?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the F**king of the Creeper and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Rick Roll plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the BLU spy's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh...now to take care of Osama Bin Laden."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's pizza box in tow.]

[chandlerj333]

[Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'RED Spy' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Soldier watching the board]

Soldier: "A RED Spy is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Soldier reaches from off-screen and pulls a Shotgun off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Soldier dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "Hut, Hut, Hut!" with every step he takes]

The Administrator: "Protect the pizza box!"

Soldier: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Scout: "Yo, a dispenser here!?"

[The Soldier pushes the Scout aside and begins to 'decode' the combination]

Soldier: "All right, all right, I got it. Stand back Mothaf***er. 1, 1, 1, umm... 1!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Heavy comes around the corner, Sasha in-hand, charging towards the Scout and Soldier]

Heavy: "INCOMING!"

[Heavy shoulder-barges the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the Intelligence Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still here!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with the BLU Sniper's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[Meet the spy' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying the dead Sniper towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Soldier: "Safe and sound, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill a RED Spy on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits the Sniper's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his back.]

Soldier: "...and a Cake."

[The Scout approaches and removes the knife.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[The Scout attempts to manipulate the knife like the Spy, only to cut himself on the finger and drop it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "If you managed to kill them, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And nothing... nothing like the man loose inside this building."

Scout: "What're you? President of his fan club?"

Soldier & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to face the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be your father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and the Scout's Father.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and disbelief]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to f**k us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring your father will be the second worst thing that happens to you today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Soldier and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and shows the Soldier one photo in particular.]

Soldier: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our defenses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the Hydro tunnels. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Engineer. He slides a Scout's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]

Engineer: "Sentry Down!"

[The BLU Engineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his Pistol, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. The dead Engineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at a target off-screen.]

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to our colleagues!"

[Flash back to the BLU Sniper, now alive and sniping from a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a creaking floorboard, alerting the Sniper who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and the Sniper is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he could be any one of us..."

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a BLU Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy breaks the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans spectacles.]

Medic: (Dances)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his spectacles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be you! He could be me! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Soldier, Shotgun in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Soldier: "What? It was obvious! [The Soldier pumps his Shotgun, discarding the spent shell.] He's the RED Spy! Watch, he'll turn red any second now..."

[The Soldier and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Soldier prodding the Spy's foot with his Shotgun.]

Soldier: "Any second now... See? Red! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Soldier and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Spy]

Heavy: "So, we still got problem..."

Soldier: "Big problem... alright, who's ready to go find this Spy?"

Spy: "Right behind you."

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the stabbing of the Soldier and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Petite Chou-Fleur plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the Scout's Father. The RED Spy retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh... ma petite chou-fleur."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's pizza box in tow.]

[D3Doomslash]

[Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching the board]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Creeper reaches from off-screen and pulls a Pocket Medic off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Creeper dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

GLaDOS: "Protect the pizza box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Scout: "Need a dispenser here!"

[The Creeper shoots the Scout and begins to count how many times he masturbated that day.]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got aids. Stand back son. 5, 6, 7, umm... 8!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Heavy comes around the corner, Banana in-hand, charging towards the Scout and Creeper]

Heavy: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

[Heavy penetrates the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the pizza box Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still hot!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with Robin Walker's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[An encounter with the Entrepreneur of Sensory Shapeshifting with Purpose of Infiltrationary Actions' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying Robin Walker's body towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits Robin Walker's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his Razorback.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Scout approaches and removes the knife.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[Donald Trump attempts to manipulate the U.S. economy like Obama, only to find his hair tipping over and drops it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "Your words are as empty as your inventory, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Scout: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to r*pe the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be my father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and his Father.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and constipation]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to molest us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring my father will be the second best thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Creeper and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and slaps the Creeper silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the BLU Team's Anuses.. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Vagineer. He slides a Scout's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]

Vagineer: "Nwod yrtnes!"

[The BLU Vagineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his Pistol, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. The dead Vagineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at John F. Kennedy.

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to trolls!"

[Flash back to Robin Walker, now alive and Fapping in a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a empty BONK! can, alerting the Sniper who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and Robin is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a RED Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy eats the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans testicles.]

Medic: (Dances eroticly.)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be Scout's Father!! He could be me! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Creeper, Pocket Medic in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Creeper pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh. He's the Scout's Mother! Watch, he'll turn green any second now..."

[The Creeper and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Creeper prodding the Spy's foot with his Pocket Medic.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Green! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell's vomit."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron]

Heavy: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this Spy?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the F**king of the Creeper and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Rick Roll plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the BLU spy's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh...now to take care of Osama Bin Laden."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's pizza box in tow.]

[JohnySkarr]

[Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching the board]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Creeper reaches from off-screen and pulls a Pocket Medic off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Creeper dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

GLaDOS: "Protect the pizza box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Scout: "Need a dispenser here!"

[The Creeper shoots the Scout and begins to count how many times he masturbated that day.]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got aids. Stand back son. 5, 6, 7, umm... 8!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Heavy comes around the corner, Banana in-hand, charging towards the Scout and Creeper]

Heavy: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

[Heavy penetrates the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the pizza box Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still hot!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with Robin Walker's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[An encounter with the Entrepreneur of Sensory Shapeshifting with Purpose of Infiltrationary Actions' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying Robin Walker's body towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits Robin Walker's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his Razorback.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Scout approaches and removes the knife.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[Donald Trump attempts to manipulate the U.S. economy like Obama, only to find his hair tipping over and drops it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "Your words are as empty as your inventory, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Scout: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to r*pe the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be my father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and his Father.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and constipation]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to molest us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring my father will be the second best thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Creeper and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and slaps the Creeper silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the BLU Team's Anuses.. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Vagineer. He slides a Scout's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]

Vagineer: "Nwod yrtnes!"

[The BLU Vagineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his cellphone, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. The dead Vagineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at John F. Kennedy.

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to trolls!"

[Flash back to Robin Walker, now alive and Fapping in a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a empty BONK! can, alerting the Sniper who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and Robin is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a RED Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy eats the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans testicles.]

Medic: (Dances eroticly.)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be Scout's Father!! He could be me! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Creeper, Pocket Medic in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Creeper pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh. He's the Scout's Mother! Watch, he'll turn green any second now..."

[The Creeper and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Creeper prodding the Spy's foot with his Pocket Medic.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Green! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell's vomit."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron]

Heavy: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this Spy?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the F**king of the Creeper and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Rick Roll plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the BLU spy's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh...now to take care of Osama Bin Laden."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's pizza box in tow.]

[Blitzinbarrage]

[Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching the board]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Creeper reaches from off-screen and pulls a Pocket Medic off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Creeper dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

GLaDOS: "Protect the pizza box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Scout: "Need a dispenser here!"

[The Creeper shoots the Scout and begins to count how many times he masturbated that day.]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got aids. Stand back son. 5, 6, 7, umm... 8!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Heavy comes around the corner, Banana in-hand, charging towards the Scout and Creeper]

Heavy: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

[Heavy penetrates the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the pizza box Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still hot!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with Robin Walker's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[An encounter with the Entrepreneur of Sensory Shapeshifting with Purpose of Infiltrationary Actions' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying Robin Walker's body towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits Robin Walker's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his Razorback.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Scout approaches and removes the knife.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[Donald Trump attempts to manipulate the U.S. economy like Obama, only to find his hair tipping over and drops it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "Your words are as empty as your inventory, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Scout: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to r*pe the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be my father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and his Father.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and constipation]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to molest us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring my father will be the second best thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Creeper and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and slaps the Creeper silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the BLU Team's Anuses.. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Vagineer. He slides a Scout's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]

Vagineer: "Nwod yrtnes!"

[The BLU Vagineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his cellphone, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. The dead Vagineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at John F. Kennedy.

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to trolls!"

[Flash back to Robin Walker, now alive and Fapping in a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a empty BONK! can, alerting the Sniper who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and Robin is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a RED Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy eats the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans testicles.]

Medic: (Dances eroticly.)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be Scout's Father!! He could be me! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Creeper, Pocket Medic in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Creeper pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh. He's the Scout's Mother! Watch, he'll turn green any second now..."

[The Creeper and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Creeper prodding the Spy's foot with his Pocket Medic.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Green! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell's vomit."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron]

Heavy: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this a**hole?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the F**king of the Creeper and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Rick Roll plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the BLU spy's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh...now to take care of Osama Bin Laden."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's pizza box in tow.]

[Vasudanin]

[Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching the board]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Creeper reaches from off-screen and pulls a Pocket Medic off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Creeper dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

GLaDOS: "Protect the pizza box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Scout: "Need a dispenser here!"

[The Creeper shoots the Scout and begins to count how many times he masturbated that day.]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got aids. Stand back son. 5, 6, 7, umm... 8!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Heavy comes around the corner, Banana in-hand, charging towards the Scout and Creeper]

Heavy: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

[Heavy penetrates the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the pizza box Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still hot!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with Robin Walker's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[An encounter with the Entrepreneur of Sensory Shapeshifting with Purpose of Infiltrationary Actions' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying Robin Walker's body towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits Robin Walker's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his Razorback.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Scout approaches and removes the knife.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[Donald Trump attempts to manipulate the U.S. economy like Obama, only to find his hair tipping over and drops it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "Your words are as empty as your inventory, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Scout: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to r*pe the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be my father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and his Father.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and constipation]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to molest us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring my father will be the second best thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Creeper and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and slaps the Creeper silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the BLU Team's Anuses.. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Vagineer. He slides a Scout's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]

Vagineer: "Nwod yrtnes!"

[The BLU Vagineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his cellphone, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. The dead Vagineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at John F. Kennedy.

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to trolls!"

[Flash back to Robin Walker, now alive and Fapping in a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a empty BONK! can, alerting the Sniper who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and Robin is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a RED Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy eats the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans testicles.]

Medic: (Dances eroticly.)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be Scout's Father!! He could be Valve employer! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Creeper, Pocket Medic in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Creeper pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh. He's the Scout's Mother! Watch, he'll turn green any second now..."

[The Creeper and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Creeper prodding the Spy's foot with his Pocket Medic.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Green! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell's vomit."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron]

Heavy: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this a**hole?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the F**king of the Creeper and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Rick Roll plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the BLU spy's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh...now to take care of Osama Bin Laden."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's pizza box in tow.]

[gameboy350]

[Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching the board]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Creeper reaches from off-screen and pulls a Pocket Medic off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Creeper dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

GLaDOS: "Protect the pizza box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Scout: "Need a dispenser here!"

[The Creeper shoots the Scout and begins to count how many times he masturbated that day.]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got aids. Stand back son. 5, 6, 7, umm... 8!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Heavy comes around the corner, Banana in-hand, charging towards the Scout and Creeper]

Heavy: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

[Heavy penetrates the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the pizza box Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still hot!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with Robin Walker's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[An encounter with the Entrepreneur of Sensory Shapeshifting with Purpose of Infiltrationary Actions' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying Robin Walker's body towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits Robin Walker's body on the desk, revealing a bloody sentry in his Razorback.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Scout approaches and removes the sentry.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[Donald Trump attempts to manipulate the U.S. economy like Obama, only to find his hair tipping over and drops it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "Your words are as empty as your inventory, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly Saps the sentry and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Scout: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to r*pe the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be my father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and his Father.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and constipation]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to molest us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring my father will be the second best thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Creeper and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and slaps the Creeper silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the BLU Team's Anuses.. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Vagineer. He slides a Scout's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]

Vagineer: "Nwod yrtnes!"

[The BLU Vagineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his cellphone, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. The dead Vagineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at John F. Kennedy.

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to trolls!"

[Flash back to Robin Walker, now alive and Fapping in a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a empty BONK! can, alerting the Sniper who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and Robin is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a RED Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy eats the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans testicles.]

Medic: (Dances eroticly.)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be Scout's Father!! He could be Valve employer! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Creeper, Pocket Medic in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Creeper pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh. He's the Scout's Mother! Watch, he'll turn green any second now..."

[The Creeper and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Creeper prodding the Spy's foot with his Pocket Medic.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Green! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell's vomit."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron]

Heavy: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this a**hole?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the F**king of the Creeper and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Rick Roll plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the BLU spy's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh...now to take care of Osama Bin Laden."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's pizza box in tow.]

[TheKigYarGamer]

[Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching the board]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Creeper reaches from off-screen and pulls a Pocket Medic off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Creeper dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

GLaDOS: "Protect the pizza box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Scout: "Need a dispenser here!"

[The Creeper shoots the Scout and begins to count how many times he masturbated that day.]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got aids. Stand back son. 5, 6, 7, umm... 8!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Heavy comes around the corner, Banana in-hand, charging towards the Scout and Creeper]

Heavy: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

[Heavy penetrates the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the pizza box Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still hot!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with Robin Walker's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[An encounter with the Entrepreneur of Sensory Shapeshifting with Purpose of Infiltrationary Actions' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying Robin Walker's body towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits Robin Walker's body on the desk, revealing a bloody sentry in his Razorback.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Scout approaches and removes the sentry.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[Donald Trump attempts to manipulate the U.S. economy like Obama, only to find his hair tipping over and drops it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "Your words are as empty as your inventory, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly Saps the sentry and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Scout: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to r*pe the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be my father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and his Father.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and constipation]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to molest us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring my father will be the second best thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Creeper and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and slaps the Creeper silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the BLU Team's Anuses.. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Toyota Prius with its Vagineer. He slides a Scout's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Toyota Prius immediately]

Vagineer: "nwod suirP atoyoT!"

[The BLU Vagineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his cellphone, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Fuel Rod Gun. The dead Vagineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at John F. Kennedy.

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Robin Walker, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to trolls!"

[Flash back to Robin Walker, now alive and Fapping in a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a empty BONK! can, alerting Robin Walker who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and Robin is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a RED Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy eats the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans testicles.]

Medic: (Dances eroticly.)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be Scout's Father!! He could be Valve employer! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Creeper, Pocket Medic in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Creeper pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh. He's the Scout's Mother! Watch, he'll turn green any second now..."

[The Creeper and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Creeper prodding the Spy's foot with his Pocket Medic.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Green! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell's vomit."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the Sentry he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron]

Heavy: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this a**hole?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the F**king of the Creeper and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Rick Roll plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the BLU spy's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh...now to take care of Osama Bin Laden."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's pizza box in tow.]

[Steelfist]

[Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching the board]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Creeper reaches from off-screen and pulls a Pocket Medic off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Creeper dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

GLaDOS: "Protect the pizza box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Scout: "Need a dispenser here!"

[The Creeper shoots the Scout and begins to count how many times he masturbated that day.]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got aids. Stand back son. 5, 6, 7, umm... 8!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-



Heavy: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

[Heavy penetrates the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the pizza box Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still hot!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with Robin Walker's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[An encounter with the Entrepreneur of Sensory Shapeshifting with Purpose of Infiltrationary Actions' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying Robin Walker's body towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits Robin Walker's body on the desk, revealing a bloody sentry in his Razorback.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Scout approaches and removes the sentry.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[Donald Trump attempts to manipulate the U.S. economy like Obama, only to find his hair tipping over and drops it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "Your words are as empty as your inventory, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly Saps the sentry and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Scout: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to r*pe the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be my father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and his Father.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and constipation]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to molest us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring my father will be the [B]first best thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Creeper and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and slaps the Creeper silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the BLU Team's Anuses.. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Toyota Prius with its Vagineer. He slides a Scout's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Toyota Prius immediately]

Vagineer: "nwod suirP atoyoT!"

[The BLU Vagineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his cellphone, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Fuel Rod Gun. The dead Vagineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at John F. Kennedy.

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Robin Walker, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to trolls!"

[Flash back to Robin Walker, now alive and Fapping in a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a empty BONK! can, alerting Robin Walker who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and Robin is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a RED Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy eats the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans testicles.]

Medic: (Dances eroticly.)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be Scout's Father!! He could be Valve employer! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Creeper, Pocket Medic in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Creeper pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh. He's the Scout's Mother! Watch, he'll turn green any second now..."

[The Creeper and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Creeper prodding the Spy's foot with his Pocket Medic.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Green! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell's vomit."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the Sentry he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron]

Heavy: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this a**hole?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the F**king of the Creeper and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Rick Roll plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the BLU spy's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh...now to take care of Osama Bin Laden."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's pizza box in tow.]

[ZincAzN]

[Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching the board]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Creeper reaches from off-screen and pulls a Pocket Medic off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Creeper dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

GLaDOS: "Protect the pizza box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Scout: "Need a dispenser here!"

[The Creeper shoots the Scout and begins to count how many times he masturbated that day.]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got aids. Stand back son. 5, 6, 7, umm... 8!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-



Heavy: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

[Heavy penetrates the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the pizza box Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still hot!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with Robin Walker's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[An encounter with the Entrepreneur of Sensory Shapeshifting with Purpose of Infiltrationary Actions' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying Robin Walker's body towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits Robin Walker's body on the desk, revealing a bloody sentry in his Razorback.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Scout approaches and [B]attaches a sapper to the sentry.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[Donald Trump attempts to manipulate the U.S. economy like Obama, only to find his hair tipping over and drops it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "Your words are as empty as your inventory, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly Saps the sentry and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Scout: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to r*pe the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be my father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and his Father.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and constipation]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to molest us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring my father will be the first best thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Creeper and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and slaps the Creeper silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the BLU Team's Anuses.. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Toyota Prius with its Vagineer. He slides a Scout's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Toyota Prius immediately]

Vagineer: "nwod suirP atoyoT!"

[The BLU Vagineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his cellphone, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Fuel Rod Gun. The dead Vagineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at John F. Kennedy.

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Robin Walker, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to trolls!"

[Flash back to Robin Walker, now alive and Fapping in a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a empty BONK! can, alerting Robin Walker who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and Robin is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a RED Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy eats the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans testicles.]

Medic: (Dances eroticly.)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be Scout's Father!! He could be Valve employer! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Creeper, Pocket Medic in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Creeper pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh. He's the Scout's Mother! Watch, he'll turn green any second now..."

[The Creeper and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Creeper prodding the Spy's foot with his Pocket Medic.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Green! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell's vomit."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the Sentry he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron]

Heavy: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this a**hole?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the F**king of the Creeper and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Rick Roll plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the BLU spy's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh...now to take care of Osama Bin Laden."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's pizza box in tow.]

[Argeon]

[Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching the board]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Creeper reaches from off-screen and pulls a Pocket Medic off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Creeper dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

GLaDOS: "Protect the pizza box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Scout: "Need a dispenser here!"

[The Creeper shoots the Scout and begins to count how many times he masturbated that day.]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got aids. Stand back son. 5, 6, 7, umm... 8!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Heavy comes around the corner, Banana in-hand, charging towards the Scout and Creeper]

Heavy: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

[Heavy penetrates the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the pizza box Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still hot!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the RED zombie, with Robin Walker's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[An encounter with the Entrepreneur of Sensory Shapeshifting with Purpose of Infiltrationary Actions' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying Robin Walker's body towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits Robin Walker's body on the desk, revealing a bloody sentry in his Razorback.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Scout approaches and attaches a sapper to the sentry.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[Donald Trump attempts to manipulate the U.S. economy like Obama, only to find his hair tipping over and drops it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "Your words are as empty as your inventory, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly Saps the sentry and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Scout: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to r*pe the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be my father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and his Father.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and constipation]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to molest us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring my father will be the first best thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Creeper and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and slaps the Creeper silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the BLU Team's Anuses.. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Toyota Prius with its Vagineer. He slides a Scout's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Toyota Prius immediately]

Vagineer: "nwod suirP atoyoT!"

[The BLU Vagineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his cellphone, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Fuel Rod Gun. The dead Vagineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at John F. Kennedy.

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Robin Walker, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to trolls!"

[Flash back to Robin Walker, now alive and Fapping in a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a empty BONK! can, alerting Robin Walker who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and Robin is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a RED Medic, armed with a big, black d!ido.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy eats the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans testicles.]

Medic: (Dances eroticly.)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be Scout's Father!! He could be Valve employer! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Creeper, Pocket Medic in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Creeper pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh. He's the Scout's Mother! Watch, he'll turn green any second now..."

[The Creeper and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Creeper prodding the Spy's foot with his Pocket Medic.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Green! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell's vomit."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the Sentry he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron]

Heavy: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this a**hole?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the F**king of the Creeper and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Rick Roll plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the BLU spy's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh...now to take care of Osama Bin Laden."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's pizza box in tow.]

[Jesin]

[Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching the board]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Creeper reaches from off-screen and pulls a Pocket Medic off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Creeper dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

GLaDOS: "Protect the pizza box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Scout: "Need a dispenser here!"

[The Creeper shoots the Scout and begins to count how many times he masturbated that day.]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got aids. Stand back son. 5, 6, 7, umm... 8!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Heavy comes around the corner, Banana in-hand, charging towards the Scout and Creeper]

Heavy: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

[Heavy penetrates the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the pizza box Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still hot!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the RED zombie, with Robin Walker's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[An encounter with the Entrepreneur of Sensory Shapeshifting with Purpose of Infiltrationary Actions' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying Robin Walker's body towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits Robin Walker's body on the desk, revealing a bloody sentry in his Razorback.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Scout approaches and attaches a sapper to the sentry.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[Donald Trump attempts to manipulate the U.S. economy like Obama, only to find his hair tipping over and drops it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "Your words are as empty as your inventory, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly Saps the sentry and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Scout: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to r*pe the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be my father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and his Father.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and constipation]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to molest us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring my father will be the first best thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Creeper and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and slaps the Creeper silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the BLU Team's Anuses.. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Toyota Prius with its Vagineer. He slides a Scout's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Toyota Prius immediately]

Vagineer: "nwod suirP atoyoT!"

[The BLU Vagineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his cellphone, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Fuel Rod Gun. The dead Vagineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at John F. Kennedy.

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Robin Walker, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to trolls!"

[Flash back to Robin Walker, now alive and Fapping in a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a empty BONK! can, alerting Robin Walker who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and Robin is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a RED Medic, armed with a big, black d!ido.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy eats the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans testicles.]

Medic: (Dances eroticly.)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be Scout's Father!! He could be Valve employer! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Creeper, Pocket Medic in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Creeper pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh. He's the Scout's Mother! Watch, he'll turn green any second now..."

[The Creeper and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Creeper prodding the Spy's foot with his Pocket Medic.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Green! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell's vomit."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the Sentry he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron]

Heavy: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this a**hole?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the F**king of the Creeper and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Rick Roll plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the BLU spy's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh...now to take care of Osama Bin Laden."

[The RED Spy walks off with the Announcer in his pants.]

[Tortimer64]

[Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching the board]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Creeper reaches from off-screen and pulls a Pocket Medic off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Creeper dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

GLaDOS: "Protect the pizza box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Scout: "Need a dispenser here!"

[The Creeper shoots the Scout and begins to count how many times he masturbated that day.]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got aids. Stand back son. 5, 6, 7, umm... 8!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-



Heavy: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

[Heavy penetrates the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the pizza box Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still hot!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the RED zombie, with Robin Walker's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[An encounter with the Entrepreneur of Sensory Shapeshifting with Purpose of Infiltrationary Actions' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying Robin Walker's body towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits Robin Walker's body on the desk, revealing a bloody sentry in his Razorback.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Scout approaches and attaches a sapper to the sentry.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[Donald Trump attempts to manipulate the U.S. economy like Obama, only to find his hair tipping over and drops it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "Your words are as empty as your inventory, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly Saps the sentry and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Scout: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to r*pe the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be my father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and his Father.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and constipation]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to molest us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring my father will be the first best thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Creeper and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and slaps the Creeper silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the BLU Team's Anuses.. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Toyota Prius with its Vagineer. He slides a Scout's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Toyota Prius immediately]

Vagineer: "nwod suirP atoyoT!"

[The BLU Vagineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his cellphone, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Fuel Rod Gun. The dead Vagineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at John F. Kennedy.

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Robin Walker, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to trolls!"

[Flash back to Robin Walker, now alive and Fapping in a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a empty BONK! can, alerting Robin Walker who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and Robin is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a RED Medic, armed with a big, black d!ido.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy eats the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans testicles.]

Medic: (Dances eroticly.)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be Scout's Father!! He could be Valve employer! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Creeper, Pocket Medic in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Creeper pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh. He's the Scout's Mother! Watch, he'll turn green any second now..."

[The Creeper and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Creeper prodding the Spy's foot with his Pocket Medic.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Green! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell's vomit."

[The Scout lingers behind, his [B]boi faic sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the Sentry he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron]

Heavy: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this a**hole?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the F**king of the Creeper and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Rick Roll plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the BLU spy's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh...now to take care of Osama Bin Laden."

[The RED Spy walks off with theAnnouncer in his pants.

[Confuzzulation]

[Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching the board]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Creeper reaches from off-screen and pulls a Pocket Medic off a rack of coats. Cut to the Creeper dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

GLaDOS: "Protect the pizza box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Scout: "Need a dispenser here!"

[The Creeper shoots the Scout and begins to count how many times he masturbated that day.]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got aids. Stand back son. 5, 6, 7, umm... 8!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Heavy comes around the corner, Banana in-hand, charging towards the Scout and Creeper]

Heavy: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

[Heavy penetrates the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the pizza box Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still hot!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the RED zombie, with Robin Walker's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[An encounter with the Entrepreneur of Sensory Shapeshifting with Purpose of Infiltrationary Actions' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying Robin Walker's body towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits Robin Walker's body on the desk, revealing a bloody sentry in his Razorback.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Scout approaches and attaches a sapper to the sentry.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[Donald Trump attempts to manipulate the U.S. economy like Obama, only to find his hair tipping over and drops it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "Your words are as empty as your inventory, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly Saps the sentry and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Scout: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to r*pe the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be my father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and his Father.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and constipation]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to molest us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring my father will be the first best thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Creeper and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and slaps the Creeper silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the BLU Team's Anuses.. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Toyota Prius with its Vagineer. He slides a Scout's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Toyota Prius immediately]

Vagineer: "nwod suirP atoyoT!"

[The BLU Vagineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his cellphone, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Fuel Rod Gun. The dead Vagineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at John F. Kennedy.

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Robin Walker, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to trolls!"

[Flash back to Robin Walker, now alive and Fapping in a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a empty BONK! can, alerting Robin Walker who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and Robin is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a RED Medic, armed with a big, black d!ido.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy eats the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans testicles.]

Medic: (Dances eroticly.)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be Scout's Father!! He could be Valve employer! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Creeper, Pocket Medic in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Creeper pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh. He's the Scout's Mother! Watch, he'll turn green any second now..."

[The Creeper and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Creeper prodding the Spy's foot with his Pocket Medic.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Green! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell's vomit."

[The Scout lingers behind, his boi faic sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the Sentry he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron]

Heavy: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this a**hole?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the F**king of the Creeper and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Rick Roll plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the BLU spy's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh...now to take care of Osama Bin Laden."

[The RED Spy walks off with theAnnouncer in his pants.

[Oh Look A Bird]

[Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching the board]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Creeper reaches from off-screen and pulls a Pocket Medic off a rack of coats. Cut to the Creeper dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

GLaDOS: "Protect the pizza box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Vince trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Vince: "Need a dispenser here!"

[The Creeper shoots the Vince and begins to count how many times he masturbated that day.]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got aids. Stand back son. 5, 6, 7, umm... 8!"

Vince: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Heavy comes around the corner, Banana in-hand, charging towards the Vince and Creeper]

Heavy: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

[Heavy penetrates the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the pizza box Room. The Vince reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Vince: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still hot!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the RED zombie, with Robin Walker's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[An encounter with the Entrepreneur of Sensory Shapeshifting with Purpose of Infiltrationary Actions' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying Robin Walker's body towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Vince: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits Robin Walker's body on the desk, revealing a bloody sentry in his Razorback.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Vince approaches and attaches a sapper to the sentry.]

Vince: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[Donald Trump attempts to manipulate the U.S. economy like Obama, only to find his hair tipping over and drops it.]

Vince: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "Your words are as empty as your inventory, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly Saps the sentry and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Vince.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Vince: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to r*pe the Vince.]

Spy: "No... that would be my father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and his Father.]

Vince: [stammers out of shock and constipation]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to molest us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring my father will be the first best thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Creeper and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and slaps the Creeper silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Vince frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Vince: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the BLU Team's Anuses.. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Toyota Prius with its Vagineer. He slides a Vince's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Toyota Prius immediately]

Vagineer: "nwod suirP atoyoT!"

[The BLU Vagineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his cellphone, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Fuel Rod Gun. The dead Vagineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at John F. Kennedy.

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Robin Walker, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to trolls!"

[Flash back to Robin Walker, now alive and Fapping in a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a empty BONK! can, alerting Robin Walker who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and Robin is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a RED Medic, armed with a big, black d!ido.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy eats the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans testicles.]

Medic: (Dances eroticly.)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be Vince's Father!! He could be Valve employer! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Creeper, Pocket Medic in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Vince.]

Vince: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Creeper pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh. He's the Vince's Mother! Watch, he'll turn green any second now..."

[The Creeper and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Creeper prodding the Spy's foot with his Pocket Medic.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Green! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell's vomit."

[The Vince lingers behind, his boi faic sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the Sentry he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron]

Heavy: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this a**hole?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the F**king of the Creeper and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Rick Roll plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the BLU spy's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh...now to take care of Osama Bin Laden."

[The RED Spy walks off with theAnnouncer in his pants.

[LordValos]

[Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching the board]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Creeper reaches from off-screen and pulls a Pocket Medic off a rack of coats. Cut to the Creeper dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

GLaDOS: "Protect the pizza box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Vince trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Vince: "Need a dispenser here!"

[The Creeper shoots the Vince and begins to count how many times he masturbated that day.]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got aids. Stand back son. 5, 6, 7, umm... 8!"

Vince: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Heavy comes around the corner, Banana in-hand, charging towards the Vince and Creeper]

Heavy: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

[Heavy penetrates the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the pizza box Room. The Vince reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Vince: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still hot!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the RED zombie, with Robin Walker's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[An encounter with the Entrepreneur of Sensory Shapeshifting with Purpose of Infiltrationary Actions' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying Robin Walker's body towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Vince: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits Robin Walker's body on the desk, revealing a bloody sentry in his Razorback.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Vince approaches and attaches a sapper to the sentry.]

Vince: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[Donald Trump attempts to manipulate the U.S. economy like Obama, only to find his hair tipping over and drops it.]

Vince: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "Your words are as empty as your inventory, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly Saps the sentry and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Vince.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Vince: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to r*pe the Vince.]

Spy: "No... that would be my father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and his Father.]

Vince: [stammers out of shock and constipation]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to molest us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring my father will be the first best thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Creeper and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and slaps the Creeper silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Vince frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Vince: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the BLU Team's Anuses.. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Toyota Prius with its Vagineer. He slides a Vince's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Toyota Prius immediately]

Vagineer: "nwod suirP atoyoT!"

[The BLU Vagineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his cellphone, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Fuel Rod Gun. The dead Vagineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at John F. Kennedy.

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Robin Walker, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to trolls!"

[Flash back to Robin Walker, now alive and Fapping in a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a empty BONK! can, alerting Robin Walker who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and Robin is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a RED Medic, armed with a big, black d!ido.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy eats the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans testicles.]

Medic: (Dances eroticly.)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be Vince's Father!! He could be Valve employer! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Creeper, Pocket Medic in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Vince.]

Vince: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Creeper pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh. He's the Vince's Mother! Watch, he'll turn green any second now..."

[The Creeper and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Creeper prodding the Spy's foot with his Pocket Medic.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Green! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell's vomit."

[The Vince lingers behind, his boi faic sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the Sentry he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron]

Heavy: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this a**hole?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the F**king of the Creeper and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Rick Roll plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the BLU spy's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh...now to take care of Osama Bin Laden."

[The RED Spy walks off with theAnnouncer in his pants.
[Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching the board]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Creeper reaches from off-screen and pulls a Pocket Medic off a rack of coats. Cut to the Creeper dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

GLaDOS: "Protect the pizza box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Vince trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Vince: "Need a dispenser here!"

[The Creeper shoots the Vince and begins to count how many times he masturbated that day.]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got aids. Stand back son. 5, 6, 7, umm... 8!"

Vince: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Heavy comes around the corner, Banana in-hand, charging towards the Vince and Creeper]

Heavy: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

[Heavy penetrates the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the pizza box Room. The Vince reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Vince: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still hot!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the RED zombie, with Robin Walker's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[An encounter with the Entrepreneur of Sensory Shapeshifting with Purpose of Infiltrationary Actions' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying Robin Walker's body towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Vince: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits Robin Walker's body on the desk, revealing a bloody sentry in his Razorback.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Vince approaches and attaches a sapper to the sentry.]

Vince: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[Donald Trump attempts to manipulate the U.S. economy like Obama, only to find his hair tipping over and drops it.]

Vince: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "Your words are as empty as your inventory, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly Saps the sentry and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Vince.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Vince: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to r*pe the Vince.]

Spy: "No... that would be my father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and his Father.]

Vince: [stammers out of shock and constipation]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to molest us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring my father will be the first best thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Creeper and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and slaps the Creeper silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Vince frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Vince: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the BLU Team's Anuses.. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Toyota Prius with its Vagineer. He slides a Vince's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Toyota Prius immediately]

Vagineer: "nwod suirP atoyoT!"

[The BLU Vagineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his cellphone, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Fuel Rod Gun. The dead Vagineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at John F. Kennedy.

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Robin Walker, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to trolls!"

[Flash back to Robin Walker, now alive and Fapping in a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a empty BONK! can, alerting Robin Walker who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and Robin is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a RED Medic, armed with a big, black d!ido.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy eats the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans testicles.]

Medic: (Dances eroticly.)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be Vince's Father!! He could be Valve employer! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Creeper, Pocket Medic in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Vince.]

Vince: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Creeper pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh. He's the Vince's Mother! Watch, he'll turn green any second now..."

[The Creeper and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Creeper prodding the Spy's foot with his Pocket Medic.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Green! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell's vomit."

[The Vince lingers behind, his boi faic sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the Sentry he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron]

Heavy: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this a**hole?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[My Little Pony ending flourish music plays, with the F**king of the Creeper and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Rick Roll plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the BLU spy's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh...now to take care of Osama Bin Laden."

[The RED Spy walks off with theAnnouncer in his pants.

[Argeon]

[Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching the board]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Creeper reaches from off-screen and pulls a Pocket Medic off a rack of coats. Cut to the Creeper dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

GLaDOS: "Protect the pizza box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Vince trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Vince: "Need a dispenser here!"

[The Creeper shoots the Vince and begins to count how many times he masturbated that day.]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got aids. Stand back son. 5, 6, 7, umm... 8!"

Vince: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Heavy comes around the corner, Banana in-hand, charging towards the Vince and Creeper]

Heavy: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

[Heavy penetrates the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the pizza box Room. The Vince reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Vince: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still hot!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the RED zombie, with Robin Walker's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[An encounter with the Entrepreneur of Sensory Shapeshifting with Purpose of Infiltrationary Actions' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying Robin Walker's body towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Vince: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits Robin Walker's body on the desk, revealing a bloody sentry in his Razorback.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Vince approaches and attaches a sapper to the sentry.]

Vince: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[Donald Trump attempts to manipulate the U.S. economy like Obama, only to find his hair tipping over and drops it.]

Vince: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "Your words are as empty as your inventory, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly Saps the sentry and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Vince.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Vince: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to r*pe the Vince.]

Spy: "No... that would be my father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and his Father.]

Vince: [stammers out of shock and constipation]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to molest us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring my father will be the first best thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Creeper and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and slaps the Creeper silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Vince frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Vince: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the BLU Team's Anuses.. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Toyota Prius with Matt Damon. He slides a Vince's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Toyota Prius immediately]

Matt Damon: "nwod suirP atoyoT!"

[Matt Damon throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his cellphone, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Fuel Rod Gun. Dead Matt Damon crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at John F. Kennedy.

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Robin Walker, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to trolls!"

[Flash back to Robin Walker, now alive and Fapping in a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a empty BONK! can, alerting Robin Walker who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and Robin is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a RED Medic, armed with a big, black d!ido.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy eats the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans testicles.]

Medic: (Dances eroticly.)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be Vince's Father!! He could be Valve employer! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Creeper, Pocket Medic in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Vince.]

Vince: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Creeper pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh. He's Vince's Mother! Watch, he'll turn green any second now..."

[The Creeper and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Creeper prodding the Spy's foot with his Pocket Medic.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Green! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell's vomit."

[The Vince lingers behind, his boi faic sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the Sentry he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron]

Heavy: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this a**hole?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[My Little Pony ending flourish music plays, with the F**king of the Creeper and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Rick Roll plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the BLU spy's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh...now to take care of Osama Bin Laden."

[The RED Spy walks off with theAnnouncer in his pants.

[Al3x2539]

[Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching the board]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Creeper reaches from off-screen and pulls a Pocket Medic off a rack of coats. Cut to the Creeper dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

GLaDOS: "Protect the pizza box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Vince trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Vince: "Need a dispenser here!"

[The Creeper shoots the Vince and begins to count how many times he masturbated that day.]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got aids. Stand back son. 2, 5, 3, uhh... 9!":D

Vince: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Heavy comes around the corner, Banana in-hand, charging towards the Vince and Creeper]

Heavy: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

[Heavy penetrates the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the pizza box Room. The Vince reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Vince: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still hot!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the RED zombie, with Robin Walker's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[An encounter with the Entrepreneur of Sensory Shapeshifting with Purpose of Infiltrationary Actions' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying Robin Walker's body towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Vince: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits Robin Walker's body on the desk, revealing a bloody sentry in his Razorback.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Vince approaches and attaches a sapper to the sentry.]

Vince: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[Donald Trump attempts to manipulate the U.S. economy like Obama, only to find his hair tipping over and drops it.]

Vince: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "Your words are as empty as your inventory, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly Saps the sentry and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Vince.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Vince: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to r*pe the Vince.]

Spy: "No... that would be my father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and his Father.]

Vince: [stammers out of shock and constipation]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to molest us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring my father will be the first best thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Creeper and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and slaps the Creeper silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Vince frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Vince: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the BLU Team's Anuses.. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Toyota Prius with Matt Damon. He slides a Vince's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Toyota Prius immediately]

Matt Damon: "nwod suirP atoyoT!"

[Matt Damon throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his cellphone, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Fuel Rod Gun. Dead Matt Damon crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at John F. Kennedy.

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Robin Walker, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to trolls!"

[Flash back to Robin Walker, now alive and Fapping in a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a empty BONK! can, alerting Robin Walker who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and Robin is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a RED Medic, armed with a big, black d!ido.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy eats the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans testicles.]

Medic: (Dances eroticly.)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be Vince's Father!! He could be Valve employer! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Creeper, Pocket Medic in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Vince.]

Vince: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Creeper pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh. He's Vince's Mother! Watch, he'll turn green any second now..."

[The Creeper and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Creeper prodding the Spy's foot with his Pocket Medic.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Green! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell's vomit."

[The Vince lingers behind, his boi faic sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the Sentry he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron]

Heavy: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this a**hole?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[My Little Pony ending flourish music plays, with the F**king of the Creeper and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Rick Roll plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the BLU spy's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh...now to take care of Osama Bin Laden."

[The RED Spy walks off with theAnnouncer in his pants.

[Grobag]

[Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching the board]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Creeper reaches from off-screen and pulls a Pocket Medic off a rack of coats. Cut to the Creeper dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

GLaDOS: "Protect the pizza box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Vince trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Vince: "Need a dispenser here!"

[The Creeper shoots the Vince and begins to count how many times he masturbated that day.]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got aids. Stand back son. 2, 5, 3, uhh... 9!"

Vince: Let's go, let's go-



Heavy: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

[Heavy penetrates the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the pizza box Room. The Vince reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Vince: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still hot!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the RED zombie, with Robin Walker's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[An encounter with the Entrepreneur of Sensory Shapeshifting with Purpose of Infiltrationary Actions' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying Robin Walker's body towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Vince: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits Robin Walker's body on the desk, revealing a bloody sentry in his Razorback.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Vince approaches and attaches a sapper to the sentry.]

Vince: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[Donald Trump attempts to manipulate the U.S. economy like Obama, only to find his hair tipping over and drops it.]

Vince: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "Your words are as empty as your inventory, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly Saps the sentry and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Vince.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Vince: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to r*pe the Vince.]

Spy: "No... that would be my father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and his Father.]

Vince: [stammers out of shock and constipation]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to molest us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring my father will be the first best thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Creeper and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and slaps the Creeper silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Vince frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Vince: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the BLU Team's Anuses.. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Toyota Prius with Matt Damon. He slides a Vince's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Toyota Prius immediately]

Matt Damon: "nwod suirP atoyoT!"

[Matt Damon throws his [B]pants down and frantically reaches for his cellphone, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Fuel Rod Gun. Dead Matt Damon crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at John F. Kennedy.

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Robin Walker, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to trolls!"

[Flash back to Robin Walker, now alive and Fapping in a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a empty BONK! can, alerting Robin Walker who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and Robin is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a RED Medic, armed with a big, black d!ido.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy eats the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans testicles.]

Medic: (Dances eroticly.)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be Vince's Father!! He could be Valve employer! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Creeper, Pocket Medic in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Vince.]

Vince: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Creeper pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh. He's Vince's Mother! Watch, he'll turn green any second now..."

[The Creeper and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Creeper prodding the Spy's foot with his Pocket Medic.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Green! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell's vomit."

[The Vince lingers behind, his boi faic sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the Sentry he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron]

Heavy: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this a**hole?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[My Little Pony ending flourish music plays, with the F**king of the Creeper and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Rick Roll plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the BLU spy's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh...now to take care of Osama Bin Laden."

[The RED Spy walks off with theAnnouncer in his pants.[/QUOTE]

[Argeon]

[Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching the board]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Creeper reaches from off-screen and pulls a Pocket Medic off a rack of coats. Cut to the Creeper dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

GLaDOS: "Protect the pizza box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Vince trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Vince: "Need a dispenser here!"

[The Creeper shoots the Vince and begins to count how many times he masturbated that day.]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got aids. Stand back son. 2, 5, 3, uhh... 9!"

Vince: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Heavy comes around the corner, Banana in-hand, charging towards the Vince and Creeper]

Heavy: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

[Heavy penetrates the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the pizza box Room. The Vince reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Vince: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still hot!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the RED zombie, with Robin Walker's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[An encounter with the Entrepreneur of Sensory Shapeshifting with Purpose of Infiltrationary Actions' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying Robin Walker's body towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Vince: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits Robin Walker's body on the desk, revealing a bloody sentry in his Razorback.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Vince approaches and attaches a sapper to the sentry.]

Vince: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[Donald Trump attempts to manipulate the U.S. economy like Obama, only to find his hair tipping over and drops it.]

Vince: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "Your words are as empty as your inventory, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly Saps the sentry and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Vince.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Vince: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to r*pe the Vince.]

Spy: "No... that would be my father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and his Father.]

Vince: [stammers out of shock and constipation]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to molest us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring my father will be the first best thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Creeper and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and slaps the Creeper silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Vince frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Vince: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the BLU Team's Anuses.. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Toyota Prius with Matt Damon. He slides a Vince's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Toyota Prius immediately]

Matt Damon: "nwod suirP atoyoT!"

[Matt Damon throws his pants down and frantically reaches for his cellphone, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Fuel Rod Gun. Dead Matt Damon crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at John F. Kennedy.

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Robin Walker, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to trolls!"

[Flash back to Robin Walker, now alive and Fapping in a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a empty BONK! can, alerting Robin Walker who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and Robin is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a RED Medic, armed with a big, black d!ido.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy eats the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans testicles.]

Medic: (Dances eroticly.)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be Vince's Father!! He could be Valve employer! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head gets sucked into the pizza box violently. The camera switches to the Creeper, Pocket Medic in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Vince.]

Vince: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Creeper pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh. He's Vince's Mother! Watch, he'll turn green any second now..."

[The Creeper and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Creeper prodding the Spy's foot with his Pocket Medic.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Green! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell's vomit."

[The Vince lingers behind, his boi faic sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the Sentry he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron]

Heavy: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this a**hole?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[My Little Pony ending flourish music plays, with the F**king of the Creeper and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Rick Roll plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the BLU spy's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh...now to take care of Osama Bin Laden."

[The RED Spy walks off with theAnnouncer in his pants.

[FreshHalibut]

[Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching the board]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Creeper reaches from off-screen and pulls a Pocket Medic off a rack of coats. Cut to the Creeper dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

GLaDOS: "Protect the pizza box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Vince trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Vince: "Need a dispenser here!"

[The Creeper shoots the Vince and begins to count how many times he masturbated that day.]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got aids. Stand back son. 2, 5, 3, uhh... 9!"

Vince: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Heavy comes around the corner, Banana in-hand, charging towards the Vince and Creeper]

Heavy: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

[Heavy penetrates the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the pizza box Room. The Vince reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Vince: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still hot!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the RED zombie, with Robin Walker's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[An encounter with the Entrepreneur of Sensory Shapeshifting with Purpose of Infiltrationary Actions' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying Robin Walker's body towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Vince: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits Robin Walker's body on the desk, revealing a bloody sentry in his Razorback.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Vince approaches and attaches a sapper to the sentry.]

Vince: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[Donald Trump attempts to manipulate the U.S. economy like Obama, only to find his hair tipping over and drops it.]

Vince: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "Your words are as empty as your inventory, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly Saps the sentry and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Vince.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Vince: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to r*pe the Vince.]

Spy: "No... that would be my father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising Lithographsof the RED Spy and his Father.]

Vince: [stammers out of shock and constipation]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to molest us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring my father will be the first best thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Creeper and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and slaps the Creeper silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Vince frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Vince: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the BLU Team's Anuses.. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Toyota Prius with Matt Damon. He slides a Vince's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Toyota Prius immediately]

Matt Damon: "nwod suirP atoyoT!"

[Matt Damon throws his pants down and frantically reaches for his cellphone, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Fuel Rod Gun. Dead Matt Damon crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at John F. Kennedy.

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Robin Walker, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to trolls!"

[Flash back to Robin Walker, now alive and Fapping in a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a empty BONK! can, alerting Robin Walker who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and Robin is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a RED Medic, armed with a big, black d!ido.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy eats the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans testicles.]

Medic: (Dances eroticly.)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be Vince's Father!! He could be Valve employer! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head gets sucked into the pizza box violently. The camera switches to the Creeper, Pocket Medic in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Vince.]

Vince: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Creeper pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh. He's Vince's Mother! Watch, he'll turn green any second now..."

[The Creeper and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Creeper prodding the Spy's foot with his Pocket Medic.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Green! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell's vomit."

[The Vince lingers behind, his boi faic sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the Sentry he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron]

Heavy: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this a**hole?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[My Little Pony ending flourish music plays, with the F**king of the Creeper and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Rick Roll plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the BLU spy's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh...now to take care of Osama Bin Laden."

[The RED Spy walks off with the Announcer in his pants.

[Argeon]

[Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching the board]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Creeper reaches from off-screen and pulls a Pocket Medic off a rack of coats. Cut to the Creeper dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

GLaDOS: "Protect the pizza box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Vince trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Vince: "Need a dispenser here!"

[The Creeper shoots the Vince and begins to count how many times he masturbated that day.]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got aids. Stand back son. 2, 5, 3, uhh... 9!"

Vince: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Heavy comes around the corner, Banana in-hand, charging towards the Vince and Creeper]

Heavy: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

[Heavy penetrates the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the pizza box Room. The Vince reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Vince: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still hot!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the RED zombie, with Robin Walker's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[An encounter with the Entrepreneur of Sensory Shapeshifting with Purpose of Infiltrationary Actions' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying Robin Walker's body towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Vince: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits Robin Walker's body on the desk, revealing a bloody sentry in his Razorback.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Vince approaches and attaches a sapper to the sentry.]

Vince: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[Donald Trump attempts to manipulate the U.S. economy like Obama, only to find his hair tipping over and drops it.]

Vince: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "Your words are as empty as your inventory, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly Saps the sentry and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Vince.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Vince: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to r*pe the Vince.]

Spy: "No... that would be my father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising Lithographsof the RED Spy and his Father.]

Vince: [stammers out of shock and constipation]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to molest us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring my father will be the first best thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Creeper and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and slaps the Creeper silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Vince frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Vince: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the BLU Team's Anuses.. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Toyota Prius with Matt Damon. He slides a Vince's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Toyota Prius immediately]

Matt Damon: "nwod suirP atoyoT!"

[Matt Damon throws his pants down and frantically reaches for his cellphone, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Fuel Rod Gun. Dead Matt Damon crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at John F. Kennedy.

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Robin Walker, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to trolls!"

[Flash back to Robin Walker, now alive and Fapping in a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a empty BONK! can, alerting Robin Walker who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and Robin is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a RED Medic, armed with a big, black d!ido.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy eats the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans testicles.]

Medic: (Dances eroticly.)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be Vince's Father!! He could be Valve employer! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head gets sucked into the pizza box violently. The camera switches to the Creeper, Pocket Medic in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Vince.]

Vince: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Creeper pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh. He's Vince's Mother! Watch, he'll turn green any second now..."

[The Creeper and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Creeper prodding the Spy's foot with his Pocket Medic.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Green! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell's vomit."

[The Vince lingers behind, his boi faic sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the Sentry he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron, who starts screaming in German and doing some sort of satanic ritual]

Heavy: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this a**hole?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[My Little Pony ending flourish music plays, with the F**king of the Creeper and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Rick Roll plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the BLU spy's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh...now to take care of Osama Bin Laden."

[The RED Spy walks off with the Announcer in his pants.

[mes_gots_its]

[Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching the board]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Creeper reaches from off-screen and pulls a Pocket Medic off a rack of coats. Cut to the Creeper dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

GLaDOS: "Protect the pizza box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Vince trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Vince: "Need a dispenser here!"

[The Creeper shoots the Vince and begins to count how many times he masturbated that day.]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got aids. Stand back son. 2, 5, 3, uhh... 9!"

Vince: Let's go, let's go-

Wheatley[/COLOR] comes around the corner, Banana in-hand, charging towards the Vince and Creeper]

[B]Wheatley: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

[Wheatley penetrates the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the pizza box Room. The Vince reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Vince: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still hot!"

Wheatley: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the RED zombie, with Robin Walker's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[An encounter with the Entrepreneur of Sensory Shapeshifting with Purpose of Infiltrationary Actions' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying Robin Walker's body towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Vince: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits Robin Walker's body on the desk, revealing a bloody sentry in his Razorback.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Vince approaches and attaches a sapper to the sentry.]

Vince: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[Donald Trump attempts to manipulate the U.S. economy like Obama, only to find his hair tipping over and drops it.]

Vince: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "Your words are as empty as your inventory, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly Saps the sentry and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Vince.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Vince: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Wheatley: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to r*pe the Vince.]

Spy: "No... that would be my father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising Lithographsof the RED Spy and his Father.]

Vince: [stammers out of shock and constipation]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to molest us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring my father will be the first best thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Creeper and Wheatley examine the photographs. The Wheatley leans over and slaps the Creeper silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Vince frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Vince: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the BLU Team's Anuses.. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Toyota Prius with Matt Damon. He slides a Vince's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Toyota Prius immediately]

Matt Damon: "nwod suirP atoyoT!"

[Matt Damon throws his pants down and frantically reaches for his cellphone, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Fuel Rod Gun. Dead Matt Damon crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at John F. Kennedy.

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Robin Walker, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to trolls!"

[Flash back to Robin Walker, now alive and Fapping in a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a empty BONK! can, alerting Robin Walker who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and Robin is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a RED Medic, armed with a big, black d!ido.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy eats the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans testicles.]

Medic: (Dances eroticly.)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be Vince's Father!! He could be Valve employer! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head gets sucked into the pizza box violently. The camera switches to the Creeper, Pocket Medic in hand, with a confused Wheatley, and a panicked Vince.]

Vince: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Wheatley: "Oh!"

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Creeper pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh. He's Vince's Mother! Watch, he'll turn green any second now..."

[The Creeper and Wheatley approach the dead Spy, with The Creeper prodding the Spy's foot with his Pocket Medic.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Green! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell's vomit."

[The Vince lingers behind, his boi faic sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the Sentry he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron, who starts screaming in German and doing some sort of satanic ritual]

Wheatley: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this a**hole?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[My Little Pony ending flourish music plays, with the F**king of the Creeper and Wheatley punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Rick Roll plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the BLU spy's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh...now to take care of Osama Bin Laden."

[The RED Spy walks off with the Announcer in his pants.

[aw3s0m3m4n]

[Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'Up Your ♥♥♥'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching the board]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is up my ♥♥♥!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Creeper reaches from off-screen and pulls a Pocket Medic off a rack of coats. Cut to the Creeper dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

GLaDOS: "Protect the pizza box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Vince trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Vince: "Need a dispenser here!"

[The Creeper shoots the Vince and begins to count how many times he masturbated that day.]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got aids. Stand back son. 2, 5, 3, uhh... 9!"

Vince: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Wheatley comes around the corner, Banana in-hand, charging towards the Vince and Creeper]

Wheatley: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

Wheatley penetrates the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the pizza box Room. The Vince reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Vince: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still hot!"

Wheatley: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the RED zombie, with Robin Walker's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[An encounter with the Entrepreneur of Sensory Shapeshifting with Purpose of Infiltrationary Actions' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying Robin Walker's body towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Vince: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits Robin Walker's body on the desk, revealing a bloody sentry in his Razorback.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Vince approaches and attaches a sapper to the sentry.]

Vince: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[Donald Trump attempts to manipulate the U.S. economy like Obama, only to find his hair tipping over and drops it.]

Vince: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "Your words are as empty as your inventory, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly Saps the sentry and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Vince.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Vince: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Wheatley: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to r*pe the Vince.]

Spy: "No... that would be my father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising Lithographsof the RED Spy and his Father.]

Vince: [stammers out of shock and constipation]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to molest us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring my father will be the first best thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Creeper and Wheatley examine the photographs. The Wheatley] leans over and slaps the Creeper silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Vince frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Vince: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the BLU Team's Anuses.. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Toyota Prius with Matt Damon. He slides a Vince's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Toyota Prius immediately]

Matt Damon: "nwod suirP atoyoT!"

[Matt Damon throws his pants down and frantically reaches for his cellphone, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Fuel Rod Gun. Dead Matt Damon crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at John F. Kennedy.

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Robin Walker, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to trolls!"

[Flash back to Robin Walker, now alive and Fapping in a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a empty BONK! can, alerting Robin Walker who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and Robin is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a RED Medic, armed with a big, black d!ido.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy eats the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans testicles.]

Medic: (Dances eroticly.)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be Vince's Father!! He could be Valve employer! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head gets sucked into the pizza box violently. The camera switches to the Creeper, Pocket Medic in hand, with a confused Wheatley, and a panicked Vince.]

Vince: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Wheatley: "Oh!"

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Creeper pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh. He's Vince's Mother! Watch, he'll turn green any second now..."

[The Creeper and Wheatley approach the dead Spy, with The Creeper prodding the Spy's foot with his Pocket Medic.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Green! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell's vomit."

[The Vince lingers behind, his boi faic sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the Sentry he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron, who starts screaming in German and doing some sort of satanic ritual]

Wheatley: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this a**hole?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[My Little Pony ending flourish music plays, with the F**king of the Creeper and Wheatley punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Rick Roll plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the BLU spy's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh...now to take care of Osama Bin Laden."

[The RED Spy walks off with the Announcer in his pants.

[Argeon]

[Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'Up Your ♥♥♥'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching the board]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is up my ♥♥♥!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Creeper reaches from off-screen and pulls a Pocket Medic off a rack of coats. Cut to the Creeper dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

GLaDOS: "Protect the pizza box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Vince trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Vince: "Need a dispenser here!"

[The Creeper shoots the Vince and begins to count how many times he masturbated that day.]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got aids. Stand back son. 2, 5, 3, uhh... 9!"

Vince: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Wheatley comes around the corner, Banana in-hand, charging towards the Vince and Creeper]

Wheatley: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

Wheatley penetrates the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the pizza box Room. The Vince reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Vince: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still hot!"

Wheatley: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the RED zombie, with Robin Walker's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[An encounter with the Entrepreneur of Sensory Shapeshifting with Purpose of Infiltrationary Actions' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying Robin Walker's body towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Vince: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits Robin Walker's body on the desk, revealing a bloody sentry in his Razorback.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Vince approaches and attaches a sapper to the sentry.]

Vince: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[Donald Trump attempts to manipulate the U.S. economy like Obama, only to find his hair tipping over and drops it.]

Vince: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "Your words are as empty as your inventory, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly Saps the sentry and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Vince.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Vince: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Wheatley: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to r*pe the Vince.]

Spy: "No... that would be my father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising Lithographsof the RED Spy and his Father.]

Vince: [stammers out of shock and constipation]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to molest us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring my father will be the first best thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Creeper and Wheatley examine the photographs. The Wheatley] leans over and slaps the Creeper silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Vince frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Vince: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the BLU Team's Anuses.. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Toyota Prius with Matt Damon. He slides a Vince's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Toyota Prius immediately]

Matt Damon: "nwod suirP atoyoT!"

[Matt Damon throws his pants down and frantically reaches for his cellphone, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Fuel Rod Gun. Dead Matt Damon crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at John F. Kennedy.

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Robin Walker, flipping off the corpse wildly in hopes of resurrection.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to trolls!"

[Flash back to Robin Walker, now alive and Fapping in a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a empty BONK! can, alerting Robin Walker who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and Robin is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a RED Medic, armed with a big, black d!ido.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy eats the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans testicles.]

Medic: (Dances eroticly.)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be Vince's Father!! He could be Valve employer! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head gets sucked into the pizza box violently. The camera switches to the Creeper, Pocket Medic in hand, with a confused Wheatley, and a panicked Vince.]

Vince: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Wheatley: "Oh!"

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Creeper pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh. He's Vince's Mother! Watch, he'll turn green any second now..."

[The Creeper and Wheatley approach the dead Spy, with The Creeper prodding the Spy's foot with his Pocket Medic.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Green! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell's vomit."

[The Vince lingers behind, his boi faic sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the Sentry he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron, who starts screaming in German and doing some sort of satanic ritual]

Wheatley: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this a**hole?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[My Little Pony ending flourish music plays, with the F**king of the Creeper and Wheatley punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Rick Roll plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the BLU spy's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh...now to take care of Osama Bin Laden."

[The RED Spy walks off with the Announcer in his pants.

[<Witty name>]

[Signs illuminate on an invisible Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'Up Your ♥♥♥'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching the board]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is up my ♥♥♥!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Creeper reaches from off-screen and pulls a Pocket Medic off a rack of coats. Cut to the Creeper dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

GLaDOS: "Protect the pizza box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Vince trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Vince: "Need a dispenser here!"

[The Creeper shoots the Vince and begins to count how many times he masturbated that day.]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got aids. Stand back son. 2, 5, 3, uhh... 9!"

Vince: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Wheatley comes around the corner, Banana in-hand, charging towards the Vince and Creeper]

Wheatley: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

Wheatley penetrates the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the pizza box Room. The Vince reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Vince: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still hot!"

Wheatley: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the RED zombie, with Robin Walker's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[An encounter with the Entrepreneur of Sensory Shapeshifting with Purpose of Infiltrationary Actions' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying Robin Walker's body towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Vince: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits Robin Walker's body on the desk, revealing a bloody sentry in his Razorback.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Vince approaches and attaches a sapper to the sentry.]

Vince: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[Donald Trump attempts to manipulate the U.S. economy like Obama, only to find his hair tipping over and drops it.]

Vince: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "Your words are as empty as your inventory, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly Saps the sentry and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Vince.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Vince: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Wheatley: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to r*pe the Vince.]

Spy: "No... that would be my father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising Lithographsof the RED Spy and his Father.]

Vince: [stammers out of shock and constipation]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to molest us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring my father will be the first best thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Creeper and Wheatley examine the photographs. The Wheatley] leans over and slaps the Creeper silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Vince frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Vince: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the BLU Team's Anuses.. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Toyota Prius with Matt Damon. He slides a Vince's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Toyota Prius immediately]

Matt Damon: "nwod suirP atoyoT!"

[Matt Damon throws his pants down and frantically reaches for his cellphone, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Fuel Rod Gun. Dead Matt Damon crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at John F. Kennedy.

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Robin Walker, flipping off the corpse wildly in hopes of resurrection.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to trolls!"

[Flash back to Robin Walker, now alive and Fapping in a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a empty BONK! can, alerting Robin Walker who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and Robin is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a RED Medic, armed with a big, black d!ido.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy eats the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans testicles.]

Medic: (Dances eroticly.)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be Vince's Father!! He could be Valve employer! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head gets sucked into the pizza box violently. The camera switches to the Creeper, Pocket Medic in hand, with a confused Wheatley, and a panicked Vince.]

Vince: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Wheatley: "Oh!"

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Creeper pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh. He's Vince's Mother! Watch, he'll turn green any second now..."

[The Creeper and Wheatley approach the dead Spy, with The Creeper prodding the Spy's foot with his Pocket Medic.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Green! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell's vomit."

[The Vince lingers behind, his boi faic sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the Sentry he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron, who starts screaming in German and doing some sort of satanic ritual]

Wheatley: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this a**hole?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[My Little Pony ending flourish music plays, with the F**king of the Creeper and Wheatley punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Rick Roll plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the BLU spy's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh...now to take care of Osama Bin Laden."

[The RED Spy walks off with the Announcer in his pants.

[Argeon]

[Signs illuminate on an invisible Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'Up Your ♥♥♥'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching the board]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is up my ♥♥♥!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Creeper reaches from off-screen and pulls a Pocket Medic off a rack of coats. Cut to the Creeper dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

GLaDOS: "Protect the pizza box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Vince trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Vince: "Need a dispenser here!"

[The Creeper shoots the Vince and begins to count how many times he masturbated that day.]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got aids. Stand back son. 2, 5, 3, uhh... 9!"

Vince: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Wheatley comes around the corner, Banana in-hand, charging towards the Vince and Creeper]

Wheatley: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

Wheatley penetrates the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the pizza box Room. The Vince reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Vince: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still hot!"

Wheatley: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the RED zombie, with Robin Walker's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[An encounter with the Entrepreneur of Sensory Shapeshifting with Purpose of Infiltrationary Actions' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying Robin Walker's body towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Vince: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits Robin Walker's body on the desk, revealing a bloody sentry in his Razorback.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Vince approaches and attaches a sapper to the sentry.]

Vince: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[Donald Trump attempts to manipulate the U.S. economy like Obama, only to find his hair tipping over and drops it.]

Vince: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "Your words are as empty as your inventory, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly Saps the sentry and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Vince.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Vince: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Wheatley: (arm-wrestling)

[The Spy turns to r*pe the Vince.]

Spy: "No... that would be my father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising Lithographsof the RED Spy and his Father.]

Vince: [stammers out of shock and constipation]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to molest us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring my father will be the first best thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Creeper and Wheatley examine the photographs. The Wheatley] leans over and slaps the Creeper silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Vince frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Vince: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the BLU Team's Anuses.. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Toyota Prius with Matt Damon. He slides a Vince's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Toyota Prius immediately]

Matt Damon: "nwod suirP atoyoT!"

[Matt Damon throws his pants down and frantically reaches for his cellphone, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Fuel Rod Gun. Dead Matt Damon crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at John F. Kennedy.

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Robin Walker, flipping off the corpse wildly in hopes of resurrection.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to trolls!"

[Flash back to Robin Walker, now alive and Fapping in a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a empty BONK! can, alerting Robin Walker who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and Robin is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a RED Medic, armed with a big, black d!ido.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy eats the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans testicles.]

Medic: (Dances eroticly.)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be Vince's Father!! He could be Valve employer! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head gets sucked into the pizza box violently. The camera switches to the Creeper, Pocket Medic in hand, with a confused Wheatley, and a panicked Vince.]

Vince: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Wheatley: "Oh!"

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Creeper pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh. He's Vince's Mother! Watch, he'll turn green any second now..."

[The Creeper and Wheatley approach the dead Spy, with The Creeper prodding the Spy's foot with his Pocket Medic.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Green! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell's vomit."

[The Vince lingers behind, his boi faic sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the Sentry he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron, who starts screaming in German and doing some sort of satanic ritual]

Wheatley: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this a**hole?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[My Little Pony ending flourish music plays, with the F**king of the Creeper and Wheatley punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Rick Roll plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the BLU spy's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh...now to take care of Osama Bin Laden."

[The RED Spy walks off with the Announcer in his pants.

[Cyanide (SRB)]

[Signs illuminate on an invisible Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'Up Your ♥♥♥'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching the board]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is up my ♥♥♥!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Creeper reaches from off-screen and pulls a Pocket Medic off a rack of coats. Cut to the Creeper dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

GLaDOS: "Protect the pizza box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Vince trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Vince: "Need a dispenser here!"

[The Creeper shoots the Vince and begins to count how many times he masturbated that day.]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got aids. Stand back son. 2, 5, 3, uhh... 9!"

Vince: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Wheatley comes around the corner, Banana in-hand, charging towards the Vince and Creeper]

Wheatley: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

Wheatley penetrates the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the pizza box Room. The Vince reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Vince: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still hot!"

Wheatley: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the RED zombie, with Robin Walker's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[An encounter with the Entrepreneur of Sensory Shapeshifting with Purpose of Infiltrationary Actions' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying Robin Walker's body towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Vince: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits Robin Walker's body on the desk, revealing a bloody sentry in his Razorback.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Vince approaches and attaches a sapper to the sentry.]

Vince: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[Donald Trump attempts to manipulate the U.S. economy like Obama, only to find his hair tipping over and drops it.]

Vince: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "Your words are as empty as your inventory, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly Saps the sentry and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Vince.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Vince: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Wheatley: (arm-wrestling)

[The Spy turns to r*pe the Vince.]

Spy: "No... that would be my father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising Lithographsof the RED Spy and his Father.]

Vince: [stammers out of shock and constipation]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to molest us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring my father will be the first best thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Creeper and Wheatley examine the balls. The Wheatley] leans over and slaps the Creeper silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Vince frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Vince: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the BLU Team's Anuses.. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Toyota Prius with Matt Damon. He slides a Vince's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Toyota Prius immediately]

Matt Damon: "nwod suirP atoyoT!"

[Matt Damon throws his pants down and frantically reaches for his cellphone, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Fuel Rod Gun. Dead Matt Damon crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at John F. Kennedy.

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Robin Walker, flipping off the corpse wildly in hopes of resurrection.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to trolls!"

[Flash back to Robin Walker, now alive and Fapping in a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a empty BONK! can, alerting Robin Walker who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and Robin is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a RED Medic, armed with a big, black d!ido.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy eats the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans testicles.]

Medic: (Dances eroticly.)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be Vince's Father!! He could be Valve employer! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head gets sucked into the pizza box violently. The camera switches to the Creeper, Pocket Medic in hand, with a confused Wheatley, and a panicked Vince.]

Vince: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Wheatley: "Oh!"

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Creeper pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh. He's Vince's Mother! Watch, he'll turn green any second now..."

[The Creeper and Wheatley approach the dead Spy, with The Creeper prodding the Spy's foot with his Pocket Medic.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Green! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell's vomit."

[The Vince lingers behind, his boi faic sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the Sentry he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron, who starts screaming in German and doing some sort of satanic ritual]

Wheatley: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this a**hole?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[My Little Pony ending flourish music plays, with the F**king of the Creeper and Wheatley punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Rick Roll plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the BLU spy's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh...now to take care of Osama Bin Laden."

[The RED Spy walks off with the Announcer in his pants.

[Argeon]

[Signs illuminate on an invisible Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'Up Your ♥♥♥'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching the board]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is up my ♥♥♥!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Creeper reaches from off-screen and pulls a Pocket Medic off a rack of coats. Cut to the Creeper dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

GLaDOS: "Protect the pizza box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Vince trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Vince: "Need a dispenser here!"

[The Creeper shoots the Vince and begins to count how many times he masturbated that day.]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got aids. Stand back son. 2, 5, 3, uhh... 9!"

Vince: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Wheatley comes around the corner, Banana in-hand, charging towards the Vince and Creeper]

Wheatley: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

Wheatley penetrates the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the pizza box Room. The Vince reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Vince: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still hot!"

Wheatley: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the RED zombie, with Robin Walker's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[An encounter with the Entrepreneur of Sensory Shapeshifting with Purpose of Infiltrationary Actions' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying Robin Walker's body towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Vince: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits Robin Walker's body on the desk, revealing a bloody sentry in his Razorback.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Vince approaches and attaches a sapper to the sentry.]

Vince: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[Donald Trump attempts to manipulate the U.S. economy like Obama, only to find his hair tipping over and drops it.]

Vince: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "Your words are as empty as your inventory, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly Saps the sentry and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Vince.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Vince: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Wheatley: (arm-wrestling)

[The Spy turns to r*pe the Vince.]

Spy: "No... that would be my father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising Lithographsof the RED Spy and his Father.]

Vince: [stammers out of shock and constipation]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to molest us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring my father will be the first best thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Creeper and Wheatley examine the balls. The Wheatley] leans over and slaps the Creeper silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Vince frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Vince: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the BLU Team's Anuses.. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Toyota Prius with Matt Damon. He slides a Vince's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Toyota Prius immediately]

Matt Damon: "nwod suirP atoyoT!"

[Matt Damon throws his pants down and frantically reaches for his cellphone, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Fuel Rod Gun. Dead Matt Damon crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at John F. Kennedy.

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Robin Walker, flipping off the corpse wildly in hopes of resurrection.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to trolls!"

[Flash back to Robin Walker, now alive and Fapping in a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a empty BONK! can, alerting Robin Walker who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and Robin is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a ♥♥♥♥, armed with a big, black d!ido.]

Adolf Hitler: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy eats Hitler's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as Adolf, sans testicles.]

Adolf Hitler: (Dances eroticly.)

[The Spy kills Adolf Hitler with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be Vince's Father!! He could be Valve employer! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head gets sucked into the pizza box violently. The camera switches to the Creeper, Pocket Medic in hand, with a confused Wheatley, and a panicked Vince.]

Vince: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Wheatley: "Oh!"

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Creeper pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh. He's Vince's Mother! Watch, he'll turn green any second now..."

[The Creeper and Wheatley approach the dead Spy, with The Creeper prodding the Spy's foot with his Pocket Medic.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Green! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell's vomit."

[The Vince lingers behind, his boi faic sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the Sentry he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron, who starts screaming in German and doing some sort of satanic ritual]

Wheatley: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this a**hole?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[My Little Pony ending flourish music plays, with the F**king of the Creeper and Wheatley punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Rick Roll plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the BLU spy's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh...now to take care of Osama Bin Laden."

[The RED Spy walks off with the Announcer in his pants.

[Biorawr]

[Signs illuminate on an invisible Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'Up Your ♥♥♥'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching the board]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is up my ♥♥♥!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Creeper reaches from off-screen and pulls a Pocket Medic off a rack of seal masks. Cut to the Creeper dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

GLaDOS: "Protect the pizza box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Vince trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Vince: "Need a dispenser here!"

[The Creeper shoots the Vince and begins to count how many times he masturbated that day.]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got aids. Stand back son. 2, 5, 3, uhh... 9!"

Vince: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Wheatley comes around the corner, Banana in-hand, charging towards the Vince and Creeper]

Wheatley: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

Wheatley penetrates the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the pizza box Room. The Vince reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Vince: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still hot!"

Wheatley: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the RED zombie, with Robin Walker's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[An encounter with the Entrepreneur of Sensory Shapeshifting with Purpose of Infiltrationary Actions' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying Robin Walker's body towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Vince: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits Robin Walker's body on the desk, revealing a bloody sentry in his Razorback.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Vince approaches and attaches a sapper to the sentry.]

Vince: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[Donald Trump attempts to manipulate the U.S. economy like Obama, only to find his hair tipping over and drops it.]

Vince: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "Your words are as empty as your inventory, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly Saps the sentry and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Vince.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Vince: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Wheatley: (arm-wrestling)

[The Spy turns to r*pe the Vince.]

Spy: "No... that would be my father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising Lithographsof the RED Spy and his Father.]

Vince: [stammers out of shock and constipation]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to molest us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring my father will be the first best thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Creeper and Wheatley examine the balls. The Wheatley] leans over and slaps the Creeper silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Vince frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Vince: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the BLU Team's Anuses.. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Toyota Prius with Matt Damon. He slides a Vince's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Toyota Prius immediately]

Matt Damon: "nwod suirP atoyoT!"

[Matt Damon throws his pants down and frantically reaches for his cellphone, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Fuel Rod Gun. Dead Matt Damon crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at John F. Kennedy.

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Robin Walker, flipping off the corpse wildly in hopes of resurrection.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to trolls!"

[Flash back to Robin Walker, now alive and Fapping in a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a empty BONK! can, alerting Robin Walker who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and Robin is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a ♥♥♥♥, armed with a big, black d!ido.]

Adolf Hitler: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy eats Hitler's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as Adolf, sans testicles.]

Adolf Hitler: (Dances eroticly.)

[The Spy kills Adolf Hitler with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be Vince's Father!! He could be Valve employer! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head gets sucked into the pizza box violently. The camera switches to the Creeper, Pocket Medic in hand, with a confused Wheatley, and a panicked Vince.]

Vince: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Wheatley: "Oh!"

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Creeper pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh. He's Vince's Mother! Watch, he'll turn green any second now..."

[The Creeper and Wheatley approach the dead Spy, with The Creeper prodding the Spy's foot with his Pocket Medic.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Green! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell's vomit."

[The Vince lingers behind, his boi faic sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the Sentry he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron, who starts screaming in German and doing some sort of satanic ritual]

Wheatley: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this a**hole?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[My Little Pony ending flourish music plays, with the F**king of the Creeper and Wheatley punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Rick Roll plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the BLU spy's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh...now to take care of Osama Bin Laden."

[The RED Spy walks off with the Announcer in his pants.

[SIR_FreakShow]

♥♥♥♥ this is getting random:

[Signs illuminate on an invisible Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'Up Your ♥♥♥'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching the board]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is up my ♥♥♥!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Creeper reaches from off-screen and pulls a Pocket Medic off a rack of seal masks. Cut to the Creeper dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

GLaDOS: "Protect the pizza box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Vince trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Vince: "Need a dispenser here!"

[The Creeper shoots the Vince and begins to count how many times he masturbated that day.]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got aids. Stand back son. 2, 5, 3, uhh... 9!"

Vince: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Wheatley comes around the corner, Banana in-hand, charging towards the Vince and Creeper]

Wheatley: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

Wheatley penetrates the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the pizza box Room. The Vince reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Vince: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still hot!"

Wheatley: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the RED zombie, with Robin Walker's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[An encounter with the Entrepreneur of Sensory Shapeshifting with Purpose of Infiltrationary Actions' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying Robin Walker's body towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Vince: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits Robin Walker's body on the desk, revealing a bloody sentry in his Razorback.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Vince approaches and attaches a sapper to the sentry.]

Vince: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[Donald Trump attempts to manipulate the U.S. economy like Obama, only to find his hair tipping over and drops it.]

Vince: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "Your words are as empty as your inventory, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly Saps the sentry and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Vince.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Vince: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Wheatley: (arm-wrestling)

[The Spy turns to r*pe the Vince.]

Spy: "No... that would be my father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising Lithographsof the RED Spy and his Father.]

Vince: [stammers out of shock and constipation]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to molest us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring my father will be the first best thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Creeper and Wheatley examine the balls. The Wheatley] leans over and slaps the Creeper silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Vince frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Vince: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the BLU Team's Anuses.. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Toyota Prius with Matt Damon. He slides a Vince's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Toyota Prius immediately]

Matt Damon: "nwod suirP atoyoT!"

[Matt Damon throws his pants down and frantically reaches for his cellphone, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Fuel Rod Gun. Dead Matt Damon crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at John F. Kennedy.

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Robin Walker, flipping off the corpse wildly in hopes of resurrection.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to trolls!"

[Flash back to Robin Walker, now alive and Fapping in a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a empty BONK! can, alerting Robin Walker who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and Robin is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a ♥♥♥♥, armed with a big, black d!ido.]

Adolf Hitler: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy eats Hitler's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as Adolf, sans testicles.]

Adolf Hitler: (Dances eroticly.)

[The Spy kills Adolf Hitler with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be Vince's Father!! He could be Valve employer! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head gets sucked into the pizza box violently. The camera switches to the Creeper, Pocket Medic in hand, with a confused Wheatley, and a panicked Vince.]

Vince: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Wheatley: "Oh!"

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Creeper pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh. He's Vince's Mother! Watch, he'll turn green any second now..."

[The Creeper and Wheatley approach the dead Spy, with The Creeper prodding the Spy's foot with his Pocket Medic.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Green! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell's vomit."

[The Vince lingers behind, his boi faic sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the Sentry he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron, who starts screaming in German and doing some sort of satanic ritual]

Wheatley: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this a**hole?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[My Little Pony ending flourish music plays, with the F**king of the Creeper and Wheatley punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Rick Roll plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the BLU spy's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh...now to f*ck Osama Bin Laden."

[The RED Spy walks off with the Announcer in his pants.

[Lilgreenman]

Not adding anything, but fixing various grammar, spelling, and formatting errors.

[Signs illuminate on an invisible Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'Up Your ♥♥♥'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching the board]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is up my ♥♥♥!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Creeper reaches from off-screen and pulls a Pocket Medic off a rack of seal masks. Cut to the Creeper dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

GLaDOS: "Protect the pizza box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Vince trying to open the code-locked 'Pizza Box Room' door]

Vince: "Need a dispenser here!"

[The Creeper shoots the Vince and begins to count how many times he masturbated that day.]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got AIDS. Stand back, son. 2, 5, 3, uhh... 9!"

Vince: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Wheatley comes around the corner, Banana in-hand, charging towards the Vince and Creeper]

Wheatley: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

Wheatley penetrates the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the Pizza Box Room. The Vince reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Vince: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still hot!"

Wheatley: "AAAA...alright then".

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the RED zombie, with Robin Walker's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[An encounter with the Entrepreneur of Sensory Shapeshifting with Purpose of Infiltrationary Actions' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying Robin Walker's body towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Vince: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits Robin Walker's body on the desk, revealing a bloody sentry in his Razorback.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Vince approaches and attaches a sapper to the sentry.]

Vince: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scumbags - like Republicans!"

[Donald Trump attempts to manipulate the U.S. economy like Obama, only to find his hair tipping over and drops it.]

Vince: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "Your words are as empty as your inventory, and I assure you they were not like me. [The Spy deftly Saps the sentry and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Vince.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Vince: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Wheatley: (arm-wrestling)

[The Spy turns to r*pe the Vince.]

Spy: "No... that would be my father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising lithographs of the RED Spy and his Father.]

Vince: [stammers out of shock and constipation]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to molest us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring my father will be the first best thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Creeper and Wheatley examine the balls. The Wheatley] leans over and slaps the Creeper silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Vince frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Vince: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the BLU Team's Anuses.. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Toyota Prius with Matt Damon. He slides a Vince's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Toyota Prius immediately]

Matt Damon: "nwod suirP atoyoT!"

[Matt Damon throws his pants down and frantically reaches for his cellphone, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Fuel Rod Gun. Dead Matt Damon crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at John F. Kennedy.

[Cut back to the BLU Pizza Box Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Robin Walker, flipping off the corpse wildly in hopes of resurrection.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to trolls!"

[Flash back to Robin Walker, now alive and fapping in a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a empty BONK! can, alerting Robin Walker who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and Robin is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Pizza Box Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a ♥♥♥♥, armed with a big, black di!do.]

Adolf Hitler: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy eats Hitler's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as Adolf, sans testicles.]

Adolf Hitler: (Dances eroticly.)

[The Spy kills Adolf Hitler with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be Vince's Father!! He could be Valve's president! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head gets sucked into the pizza box violently. The camera switches to the Creeper, Pocket Medic in hand, with a confused Wheatley, and a panicked Vince.]

Vince: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Wheatley: "Oh!"

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Creeper pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh.] He's Vince's Mother! Watch, he'll turn green any second now..."

[The Creeper and Wheatley approach the dead Spy, with The Creeper prodding the Spy's foot with his Pocket Medic.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Green! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell's vomit."

[The Vince lingers behind, his boi faic sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the Sentry he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron, who starts screaming in German and doing some sort of satanic ritual]

Wheatley: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this a**hole?"

Spy: "Die, monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[My Little Pony ending flourish music plays, with the f**king of the Creeper and Wheatley punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Rick Roll plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the BLU spy's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh...now to f*ck Osama Bin Laden."

[The RED Spy walks off with the Announcer in his pants.]

[Limeaide]

[Signs illuminate on an invisible Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'Up Your ♥♥♥'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching the board]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is up my ♥♥♥!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Creeper reaches from off-screen and pulls a Pocket Medic off a rack of seal masks. Cut to the Creeper dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

GLaDOS: "Protect the pizza box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Vince trying to open the code-locked 'Pizza Box Room' door]

Vince: "Need a dispenser here!"

[The Creeper shoots the Vince and begins to count how many times he masturbated that day.]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got AIDS. Stand back, son. 2, 5, 3, uhh... 9!"

Vince: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Wheatley comes around the corner, Banana in-hand, charging towards the Vince and Creeper]

Wheatley: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

Wheatley penetrates the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the Pizza Box Room. The Vince reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Vince: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still hot!"

Wheatley: "AAAA...alright then".

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the RED zombie, with Robin Walker's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[An encounter with the Entrepreneur of Sensory Shapeshifting with Purpose of Infiltrationary Actions' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying Robin Walker's body towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Vince: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits Robin Walker's body on the desk, revealing a bloody sentry in his Razorback.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Vince approaches and attaches a sapper to the sentry.]

Vince: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scumbags - like Republicans!"

[Donald Trump attempts to manipulate the U.S. economy like Obama, only to find his hair tipping over and drops it.]

Vince: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "Your words are as empty as your inventory, and I assure you they were not like me. [The Spy deftly Saps the sentry and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Vince.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Vince: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Wheatley: (arm-wrestling)

[The Spy turns to r*pe the Vince.]

Spy: "No... that would be my father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising lithographs of the RED Spy and his Father.]

Vince: [stammers out of shock and constipation]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to molest us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring my father will be the first best thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Creeper and Wheatley examine the balls. The Wheatley] leans over and slaps the Creeper silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Vince frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Vince: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the BLU Team's Anuses.. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Toyota Prius with Matt Damon. He slides a Vince's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Toyota Prius immediately]

Matt Damon: "nwod suirP atoyoT!"

[Matt Damon throws his pants down and frantically reaches for his cellphone, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Fuel Rod Gun. Dead Matt Damon crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at John F. Kennedy.

[Cut back to the BLU Pizza Box Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Robin Walker, flipping off the corpse wildly in hopes of resurrection.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to trolls!"

[Flash back to Robin Walker, now alive and fapping in a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a Madame Dixie, alerting Robin Walker who engages him with the rest of his hats. A struggle ensues, and Robin is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Pizza Box Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a ♥♥♥♥, armed with a big, black di!do.]

Adolf Hitler: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy eats Hitler's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as Adolf, sans testicles.]

Adolf Hitler: (Dances eroticly.)

[The Spy kills Adolf Hitler with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be Vince's Father!! He could be Valve's president! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head gets sucked into the pizza box violently. The camera switches to the Creeper, Pocket Medic in hand, with a confused Wheatley, and a panicked Vince.]

Vince: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Wheatley: "Oh!"

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Creeper pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh.] He's Vince's Mother! Watch, he'll turn green any second now..."

[The Creeper and Wheatley approach the dead Spy, with The Creeper prodding the Spy's foot with his Pocket Medic.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Green! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell's vomit."

[The Vince lingers behind, his boi faic sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the Sentry he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron, who starts screaming in German and doing some sort of satanic ritual]

Wheatley: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this a**hole?"

Spy: "Die, monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[My Little Pony ending flourish music plays, with the f**king of the Creeper and Wheatley punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Rick Roll plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the BLU spy's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh...now to f*ck Osama Bin Laden."

[The RED Spy walks off with the Announcer in his pants.]

[moistndelichous]

[Signs illuminate on an invisible Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'Up Your ♥♥♥'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching the board]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is up my ♥♥♥!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Creeper reaches from off-screen and pulls a Pocket Medic off a rack of seal masks. Cut to the Creeper dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

GLaDOS: "Protect the cond**!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the cond**!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Vince trying to open the code-locked 'Pizza Box Room' door]

Vince: "Need a dispenser here!"

[The Creeper shoots the Vince and begins to count how many times he masturbated that day.]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got AIDS. Stand back, son. 2, 5, 3, uhh... 9!"

Vince: Let's go, let's go-



Wheatley: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

Wheatley penetrates the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into con** Room. The Vince reaches the desk to discover con** is perfectly safe.]

Vince: [while screaming, he notices cond**] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still works!"

Wheatley: "AAAA...alright then".

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the RED zombie, with Robin Walker's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[An encounter with the Entrepreneur of Sensory Shapeshifting with Purpose of Infiltrationary Actions' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying Robin Walker's body towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the cond** is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Vince: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits Robin Walker's body on the desk, revealing a bloody sentry in his Razorback.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Vince approaches and attaches a sapper to the sentry.]

Vince: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scumbags - like Republicans!"

[Donald Trump attempts to manipulate the U.S. economy like Obama, only to find his hair tipping over and drops it.]

Vince: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "Your words are as empty as your inventory, and I assure you they were not like me. [The Spy deftly Saps the sentry and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Vince.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Vince: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Wheatley: (arm-wrestling)

[The Spy turns to r*pe the Vince.]

Spy: "No... that would be my father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising lithographs of the RED Spy and his Father.]

Vince: [stammers out of shock and constipation]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to molest us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring my father will be the first best thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Creeper and Wheatley examine the balls. The Wheatley] leans over and slaps the Creeper silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Vince frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Vince: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the BLU Team's Anuses.. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Toyota Prius with Matt Damon. He slides a Vince's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Toyota Prius immediately]

Matt Damon: "nwod suirP atoyoT!"

[Matt Damon throws his pants down and frantically reaches for his cellphone, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Fuel Rod Gun. Dead Matt Damon crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at John F. Kennedy.

[Cut back to the BLU cond** Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Robin Walker, flipping off the corpse wildly in hopes of resurrection.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to trolls!"

[Flash back to Robin Walker, now alive and fapping in a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a Madame Dixie, alerting Robin Walker who engages him with the rest of his hats. A struggle ensues, and Robin is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU cond** Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a ♥♥♥♥, armed with a big, black di!do.]

Adolf Hitler: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy eats Hitler's [B]di**, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as Adolf, sans testicles.]

Adolf Hitler: (Dances eroticly.)

[The Spy kills Adolf Hitler with a well-placed chop to the a** , knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be Vince's Father!! He could be Valve's president! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head gets sucked into the cond** violently. The camera switches to the Creeper, Pocket Medic in hand, with a confused Wheatley, and a panicked Vince.]

Vince: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Wheatley: "Oh!"

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Creeper pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh.] He's Vince's Mother! Watch, he'll turn green any second now..."

[The Creeper and Wheatley approach the dead Spy, with The Creeper prodding the Spy's foot with his Pocket Medic.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Green! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell's vomit."

[The Vince lingers behind, his boi faic sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the Sentry he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron, who starts screaming in German and doing some sort of satanic ritual]

Wheatley: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this a**hole?"

Spy: "Die, monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[My Little Pony ending flourish music plays, with the f**king of the Creeper and Wheatley punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Rick Roll plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the BLU spy's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh...now to f*ck Osama Bin Laden."

[The RED Spy walks off with the Announcer in his pants.]

[AmusedMilk]

[Signs illuminate on an invisible Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'Up Your ♥♥♥'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching the board]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is up my ♥♥♥!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Creeper reaches from off-screen and pulls a Pocket Medic off a rack of seal masks. Cut to the Creeper dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

GLaDOS: "Protect the cond**!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the cond**!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Vince trying to open the code-locked 'Pizza Box Room' door]

Vince: "Need a dispenser here!"

[The Creeper shoots the Vince and begins to count how many times he masturbated that day.]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got AIDS. Stand back, son. 2, 5, 3, uhh... 9!"

Vince: Let's go, let's go-



Wheatley: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

Wheatley penetrates the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into con** Room. The Vince reaches the desk to discover con** is perfectly safe.]

Vince: [while screaming, he notices cond**] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still works!"

Wheatley: "AAAA...alright then".

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the RED zombie, with Robin Walker's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[An encounter with the Entrepreneur of Sensory Shapeshifting with Purpose of Infiltrationary Actions' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying Robin Walker's body towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the cond** is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Vince: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits Robin Walker's body on the desk, revealing a bloody sentry in his Razorback.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Vince approaches and attaches a sapper to the sentry.]

Vince: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scumbags - like Republicans!"

[Donald Trump attempts to manipulate the U.S. economy like Obama, only to find his hair tipping over and drops it.]

Vince: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "Your words are as empty as your inventory, and I assure you they were not like [B]Britney Spears.. [The Spy deftly Saps the sentry and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Vince.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Vince: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Wheatley: (arm-wrestling)

[The Spy turns to r*pe the Vince.]

Spy: "No... that would be my father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising lithographs of the RED Spy and his Father.]

Vince: [stammers out of shock and constipation]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to molest us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring my father will be the first best thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Creeper and Wheatley examine the balls. The Wheatley] leans over and slaps the Creeper silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Vince frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Vince: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the BLU Team's Anuses.. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Toyota Prius with Matt Damon. He slides a Vince's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Toyota Prius immediately]

Matt Damon: "nwod suirP atoyoT!"

[Matt Damon throws his pants down and frantically reaches for his cellphone, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Fuel Rod Gun. Dead Matt Damon crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at John F. Kennedy.

[Cut back to the BLU cond** Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Robin Walker, flipping off the corpse wildly in hopes of resurrection.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to trolls!"

[Flash back to Robin Walker, now alive and fapping in a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a Madame Dixie, alerting Robin Walker who engages him with the rest of his hats. A struggle ensues, and Robin is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU cond** Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a ♥♥♥♥, armed with a big, black di!do.]

Adolf Hitler: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy eats Hitler's di**, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as Adolf, sans testicles.]

Adolf Hitler: (Dances eroticly.)

[The Spy kills Adolf Hitler with a well-placed chop to the a** , knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be Vince's Father!! He could be Valve's president! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head gets sucked into the cond** violently. The camera switches to the Creeper, Pocket Medic in hand, with a confused Wheatley, and a panicked Vince.]

Vince: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Wheatley: "Oh!"

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Creeper pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh.] He's Vince's Mother! Watch, he'll turn green any second now..."

[The Creeper and Wheatley approach the dead Spy, with The Creeper prodding the Spy's foot with his Pocket Medic.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Green! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell's vomit."

[The Vince lingers behind, his boi faic sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the Sentry he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron, who starts screaming in German and doing some sort of satanic ritual]

Wheatley: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this a**hole?"

Spy: "Die, monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[My Little Pony ending flourish music plays, with the f**king of the Creeper and Wheatley punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Rick Roll plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the BLU spy's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh...now to f*ck Osama Bin Laden."

[The RED Spy walks off with the Announcer in his pants.]

[Kozmo]

[Signs illuminate on an invisible Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'Up Your ♥♥♥'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching the board]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is up my ♥♥♥!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Creeper reaches from off-screen and pulls a Pocket Medic off a rack of seal masks. Cut to the Creeper dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

GLaDOS: "Protect the Pizza Box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the Pizza Box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Vince trying to open the code-locked 'Pizza Box Room' door]

Vince: "Need a dispenser here!"

[The Creeper shoots the Vince and begins to count how many times he masturbated that day.]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got AIDS. Stand back, son. 2, 5, 3, uhh... 9!"

Vince: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Wheatley comes around the corner, Banana in-hand, charging towards the Vince and Creeper]

Wheatley: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

Wheatley penetrates the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into Pizza Box Room. The Vince reaches the desk to discover Pizza Box is perfectly safe.]

Vince: [while screaming, he notices Pizza Box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still hot!"

Wheatley: "AAAA...alright then".

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the RED zombie, with Robin Walker's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[An encounter with the Entrepreneur of Sensory Shapeshifting with Purpose of Infiltrationary Actions' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying Robin Walker's body towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the Pizza Box is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Vince: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits Robin Walker's body on the desk, revealing a sentry in his Tower of Hats.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Vince approaches and attaches a sapper to the sentry.]

Vince: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scumbags - like Republicans!"

[Donald Trump attempts to manipulate the U.S. economy like Obama, only to find his hair tipping over and drops it.]

Vince: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "Your words are as empty as your inventory, and I assure you they were not like Britney Spears.. [The Spy deftly Saps the sentry and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Vince.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Vince: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Wheatley: (arm-wrestling)

[The Spy turns to r*pe the Vince.]

Spy: "No... that would be my father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising lithographs of the RED Spy and his Father.]

Vince: [stammers out of shock and constipation]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to molest us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring my father will be the first best thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Creeper and Wheatley examine the balls. The Wheatley] leans over and slaps the Creeper silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Vince frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Vince: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the BLU Team's Anuses.. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Toyota Prius with Matt Damon. He slides a Vince's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Toyota Prius immediately]

Matt Damon: "nwod suirP atoyoT!"

[Matt Damon throws his pants down and frantically reaches for his cellphone, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Fuel Rod Gun. Dead Matt Damon crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at John F. Kennedy.

[Cut back to the BLU Pizza Box Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Robin Walker, flipping off the corpse wildly in hopes of resurrection.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to trolls!"

[Flash back to Robin Walker, now alive and fapping in a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a Madame Dixie, alerting Robin Walker who engages him with the rest of his hats. A struggle ensues, and Robin is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Pizza Box Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a ♥♥♥♥, armed with a big, black di!do.]

Adolf Hitler: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy eats Hitler's di**, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as Adolf, sans testicles.]

Adolf Hitler: (Dances eroticly.)

[The Spy kills Adolf Hitler with a well-placed chop to the a** , knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be Vince's Father!! He could be Valve's president! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head gets sucked into the Pizza Box violently. The camera switches to the Creeper, Pocket Medic in hand, with a confused Wheatley, and a panicked Vince.]

Vince: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Wheatley: "Oh!"

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Creeper pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh.] He's Vince's Mother! Watch, he'll turn green any second now..."

[The Creeper and Wheatley approach the dead Spy, with The Creeper prodding the Spy's foot with his Pocket Medic.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Green! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell's vomit."

[The Vince lingers behind, his boi faic sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the Sentry he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron, who starts screaming in German and doing some sort of satanic ritual]

Wheatley: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this a**hole?"

Spy: "Die, monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[My Little Pony ending flourish music plays, with the f**king of the Creeper and Wheatley punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Rick Roll plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the BLU spy's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh...now to f*ck Osama Bin Laden."

[The RED Spy walks off with the Announcer in his pants.]

[Argeon]

[Signs illuminate on an invisible Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'Up Your ♥♥♥'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching the board]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is up my ♥♥♥!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Creeper reaches from off-screen and pulls a Pocket Medic off a rack of seal masks. Cut to the Creeper dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

GLaDOS: "Protect the Pizza Box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the Pizza Box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Vince trying to open the code-locked 'Pizza Box Room' door]

Vince: "Need a dispenser here!"

[The Creeper shoots the Vince and begins to count how many times he masturbated that day.]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got AIDS. Stand back, son. 2, 5, 3, uhh... 9!"

Vince: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Wheatley comes around the corner, Banana in-hand, charging towards the Vince and Creeper]

Wheatley: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

Wheatley penetrates the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into Pizza Box Room. The Vince reaches the desk to discover Pizza Box is perfectly safe.]

Vince: [while screaming, he notices Pizza Box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still hot!"

Wheatley: "AAAA...alright then".

Atticus Finch: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the RED zombie, with Robin Walker's corpse over one shoulder.]

Atticus Finch: "Mentlegen."

[An encounter with the Entrepreneur of Sensory Shapeshifting with Purpose of Infiltrationary Actions' Title Card]

[Cut back to Atticus Finch, carrying Robin Walker's body towards the desk.]

Atticus Finch: "I see the Pizza Box is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Vince: "Yeah, it is!"

Atticus Finch: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Atticus Finch: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits Robin Walker's body on the desk, revealing a sentry in his Tower of Hats.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Vince approaches and attaches a sapper to the sentry.]

Vince: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scumbags - like Republicans!"

[Donald Trump attempts to manipulate the U.S. economy like Obama, only to find his hair tipping over and drops it.]

Vince: "Ow! No offense."

Atticus Finch: "Your words are as empty as your inventory, and I assure you they were not like Britney Spears.. [Atticus Finch deftly Saps the sentry and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Vince.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Vince: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Wheatley: (arm-wrestling)

[Atticus Finch turns to r*pe the Vince.]

Atticus Finch: "No... that would be my father!"

[Atticus Finch reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising lithographs of the RED Spy and his Father.]

Vince: [stammers out of shock and constipation]

Atticus Finch: Indeed, and now he's here to molest us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring my father will be the first best thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Creeper and Wheatley examine the balls. The Wheatley] leans over and slaps the Creeper silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Vince frantically retrieves the photos as Atticus Finch lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Vince: "Gimme dat!"

Atticus Finch: "Zis White man has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to Atticus Finch, creeping through the BLU Team's Anuses.. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Toyota Prius with Matt Damon. He slides a Vince's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Toyota Prius immediately]

Matt Damon: "nwod suirP atoyoT!"

[Matt Damon throws his pants down and frantically reaches for his cellphone, only to have Atticus Finch shoot him in the head with the Fuel Rod Gun. Dead Matt Damon crashes through a door and Atticus Finch steps over him and fires at John F. Kennedy.

[Cut back to the BLU Pizza Box Room. Atticus Finch leans over the dead Robin Walker, flipping off the corpse wildly in hopes of resurrection.]

Atticus Finch: "You've seen what he's done to trolls!"

[Flash back to Robin Walker, now alive and fapping in a dusty attic. Atticus Finch creeps up on him and steps on a Madame Dixie, alerting Robin Walker who engages him with the rest of his hats. A struggle ensues, and Robin is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Pizza Box Room]

Atticus Finch: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the Atticus Finch fighting a ♥♥♥♥, armed with a big, black di!do.]

Adolf Hitler: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[Atticus Finch eats Hitler's di**, disarming him. Close-up on Atticus Finch's face as he disguises as Adolf, sans testicles.]

Adolf Hitler: (Dances eroticly.)

[Atticus Finch kills Adolf Hitler with a well-placed chop to the a** , knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. Atticus Finch looks frantic.]

Atticus Finch: "He could be in this very room! He could be Vince's Father!! He could be Valve's president! He could even be-"

[Atticus Finch is cut off as his head gets sucked into the Pizza Box violently. The camera switches to the Creeper, Pocket Medic in hand, with a confused Wheatley, and a panicked Vince.]

Vince: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Wheatley: "Oh!"

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Creeper pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh.] He's Vince's Mother! Watch, he'll turn green any second now..."

[The Creeper and Wheatley approach the dead Spy, with The Creeper prodding Atticus Finch's foot with his Pocket Medic.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Green! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell's vomit."

[The Vince lingers behind, his boi faic sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the Sentry he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron, who starts screaming in German and doing some sort of satanic ritual]

Wheatley: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this a**hole?"

Atticus Finch: "Die, monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[My Little Pony ending flourish music plays, with the f**king of the Creeper and Wheatley punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Rick Roll plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of Atticus Finch's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Atticus Finch: "Ahh...now to f*ck Osama Bin Laden."

[Atticus Finch walks off with the Announcer in his pants.]

[harebare]

[Signs illuminate on an invisible Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'Up Your ♥♥♥'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching the board]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is up my ♥♥♥!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Creeper reaches from off-screen and pulls a Pocket Medic off a rack of seal masks. Cut to the Creeper dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

GLaDOS: "Protect the Pizza Box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the Pizza Box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Vince trying to open the code-locked 'Pizza Box Room' door]

Vince: "Need a dispenser here!"

[The Creeper shoots the Vince and begins to count how many times he masturbated that day.]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got AIDS. Stand back, son. 2, 5, 3, uhh... 9!"

Vince: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Wheatley comes around the corner, Banana in-hand, charging towards the Vince and Creeper]

Wheatley: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

Wheatley penetrates the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into Pizza Box Room. The Vince reaches the desk to discover Pizza Box is perfectly safe.]

Vince: [while screaming, he notices Pizza Box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still hot!"

Wheatley: "AAAA...alright then".

Atticus Finch: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the RED zombie, with Robin Walker's corpse over one shoulder.]

Atticus Finch: "Mentlegen."

[An encounter with the Entrepreneur of Sensory Shapeshifting with Purpose of Infiltrationary Actions' Title Card]

[Cut back to Atticus Finch, carrying Robin Walker's body towards the desk.]

Atticus Finch: "I see the Pizza Box is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Vince: "Yeah, it is!"

Atticus Finch: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Atticus Finch: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits Robin Walker's body on the desk, revealing a sentry in his Tower of Hats.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Vince approaches and attaches a sapper to the sentry.]

Vince: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scumbags - like Republicans!"

[Donald Trump attempts to manipulate the U.S. economy like Obama, only to find his hair tipping over and drops it.]

Vince: "Ow! No offense."

Atticus Finch: "Your words are as empty as your inventory, and I assure you they were not like Britney Spears.. [Atticus Finch deftly Saps the sentry and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Vince.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Vince: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Wheatley: (arm-wrestling)

[Atticus Finch turns to r*pe the Vince.]

Atticus Finch: "No... that would be my father!"

[Atticus Finch reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising lithographs of the RED Spy and his Father.]

Vince: [stammers out of shock and constipation]

Atticus Finch: Indeed, and now he's here to molest us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring my father will be the first best thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Creeper and Wheatley examine the balls. The Wheatley] leans over and slaps the Creeper silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Vince frantically retrieves the photos as Atticus Finch lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Vince: "Gimme dat!"

Atticus Finch: "Zis White man has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to Atticus Finch, creeping through the BLU Team's Anuses.. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Toyota Prius with Matt Damon. He slides a Vince's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Toyota Prius immediately]

Matt Damon: "nwod suirP atoyoT!"

[Matt Damon throws his pants down and frantically reaches for his cellphone, only to have Atticus Finch shoot him in the head with the Fuel Rod Gun. Dead Matt Damon crashes through a door and Atticus Finch steps over him and fires at John F. Kennedy.

[Cut back to the BLU Pizza Box Room. Atticus Finch leans over the dead Robin Walker, flipping off the corpse wildly in hopes of resurrection.]

Atticus Finch: "You've seen what he's done to trolls!"

[Flash back to Robin Walker, now alive and fapping in a dusty attic. Atticus Finch creeps up on him and steps on a Madame Dixie, alerting Robin Walker who engages him with the rest of his hats. A struggle ensues, and Robin is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Pizza Box Room]

Atticus Finch: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the Atticus Finch fighting a ♥♥♥♥, armed with a big, black di!do.]

Adolf Hitler: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[Atticus Finch eats Hitler's di**, disarming him. Close-up on Atticus Finch's face as he disguises as Adolf, sans testicles.]

Adolf Hitler: (Dances eroticly.)

[Atticus Finch kills Adolf Hitler with a well-placed chop to the a** , knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. Atticus Finch looks frantic.]

Atticus Finch: "He could be in this very room! He could be Vince's Father!! He could be Valve's president! He could even be-"

[Atticus Finch is cut off as his head gets sucked into the Pizza Box violently. The camera switches to the Creeper, Pocket Medic in hand, with a confused Wheatley, and a panicked Vince.]

Vince: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Wheatley: "Oooooh dis slaps me on dee knee!"

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Creeper pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh.] He's Vince's Mother! Watch, he'll turn green any second now..."

[The Creeper and Wheatley approach the dead Spy, with The Creeper prodding Atticus Finch's foot with his Pocket Medic.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Green! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell's vomit."

[The Vince lingers behind, his boi faic sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the Sentry he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron, who starts screaming in German and doing some sort of satanic ritual]

Wheatley: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this a**hole?"

Atticus Finch: "Die, monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[My Little Pony ending flourish music plays, with the f**king of the Creeper and Wheatley punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Rick Roll plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of Atticus Finch's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Atticus Finch: "Ahh...now to f*ck Osama Bin Laden."

[Atticus Finch walks off with the Announcer in his pants.]

[AwesomeSauce]

[Signs illuminate on an invisible Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'Up Your ♥♥♥'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching the board]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is up my ♥♥♥!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Creeper reaches from off-screen and pulls a Pocket Medic off a rack of seal masks. Cut to the Creeper dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

GLaDOS: "Protect the Pizza Box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the Pizza Box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Vince trying to open the code-locked 'Pizza Box Room' door]

Vince: "Need a dispenser here!"

[The Creeper shoots the Vince and begins to count how many times he masturbated that day.]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got AIDS. Stand back, son. 2, 5, 3, uhh... 9!"

Vince: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Wheatley comes around the corner, Banana in-hand, charging towards the Vince and Creeper]

Wheatley: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

Wheatley penetrates the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into Pizza Box Room. The Vince reaches the desk to discover Pizza Box is perfectly safe.]

Vince: [while screaming, he notices Pizza Box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still hot!"

Wheatley: "AAAA...alright then".

Atticus Finch: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the RED zombie, with Robin Walker's corpse over one shoulder.]

Atticus Finch: "Mentlegen."

[An encounter with the Entrepreneur of Sensory Shapeshifting with Purpose of Infiltrationary Actions' Title Card]

[Cut back to Atticus Finch, carrying Robin Walker's body towards the desk.]

Atticus Finch: "I see the Pizza Box is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Vince: "Yeah, it is!"

Atticus Finch: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Atticus Finch: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits Robin Walker's body on the desk, revealing a sentry in his Tower of Hats.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Vince approaches and attaches a sapper to the sentry.]

Vince: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scumbags - like Republicans!"

[Donald Trump attempts to manipulate the U.S. economy like Obama, only to find his hair tipping over and drops it.]

Vince: "Ow! No offense."

Atticus Finch: "Your words are as empty as your inventory, and I assure you they were not like Britney Spears.. Atticus Finch deftly Saps the sentry and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Vince.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Vince: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Wheatley: (arm-wrestling)

Atticus Finch turns to r*pe the Vince.]

Atticus Finch: "No... that would be my father!"

[Atticus Finch reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising venn diagrams of the RED Spy and his Father.]

Vince: [stammers out of shock and constipation]

Atticus Finch: Indeed, and now he's here to molest us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring my father will be the first best thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Creeper and Wheatley examine the balls. The Wheatley] leans over and slaps the Creeper silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Vince frantically retrieves the venn diagrams as Atticus Finch lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Vince: "Gimme dat!"

Atticus Finch: "Zis White man has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to Atticus Finch, creeping through the BLU Team's Anuses.. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Toyota Prius with Matt Damon. He slides a Vince's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Toyota Prius immediately]

Matt Damon: "nwod suirP atoyoT!"

[Matt Damon throws his pants down and frantically reaches for his cellphone, only to have Atticus Finch shoot him in the head with the Fuel Rod Gun. Dead Matt Damon crashes through a door and Atticus Finch steps over him and fires at John F. Kennedy.

[Cut back to the BLU Pizza Box Room. Atticus Finch leans over the dead Robin Walker, flipping off the corpse wildly in hopes of resurrection.]

Atticus Finch: "You've seen what he's done to trolls!"

[Flash back to Robin Walker, now alive and fapping in a dusty attic. Atticus Finch creeps up on him and steps on a Madame Dixie, alerting Robin Walker who engages him with the rest of his hats. A struggle ensues, and Robin is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Pizza Box Room]

Atticus Finch: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the Atticus Finch fighting a ♥♥♥♥, armed with a big, black di!do.]

Adolf Hitler: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

Atticus Finch eats Hitler's di**, disarming him. Close-up on Atticus Finch's face as he disguises as Adolf, sans testicles.]

Adolf Hitler: (Dances eroticly.)

[Atticus Finch kills Adolf Hitler with a well-placed chop to the a** , knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. Atticus Finch looks frantic.]

Atticus Finch: "He could be in this very room! He could be Vince's Father!! He could be Valve's president! He could even be-"

[Atticus Finch is cut off as his head gets sucked into the Pizza Box violently. The camera switches to the Creeper, Pocket Medic in hand, with a confused Wheatley, and a panicked Vince.]

Vince: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Wheatley: "Oh!"

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Creeper pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh.] He's Vince's Mother! Watch, he'll turn green any second now..."

[The Creeper and Wheatley approach the dead Spy, with The Creeper prodding Atticus Finch's foot with his Pocket Medic.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Green! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell's vomit."

[The Vince lingers behind, his boi faic sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the Sentry he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron, who starts screaming in German and doing some sort of satanic ritual]

Wheatley: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this a**hole?"

Atticus Finch: "Die, monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[My Little Pony ending flourish music plays, with the f**king of the Creeper and Wheatley punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Rick Roll plays]

[Fade to the scattered venn diagrams of Atticus Finch's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Atticus Finch:Ahh...now to f*ck Osama Bin Laden."

[Atticus Finch walks off with the Announcer in his pants.]

venn_diagram.jpg

[Deraidos]

[Shot opens on ringing alarm bell; sirens and klaxons play in the background]
The Administrator: "Intruder Alert! A RED Spy is in the base!"

[Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'RED Spy' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Soldier watching the board]

Soldier: "A RED Spy is in the base!?"

[Intruder Alert begins to play. The Soldier reaches from off-screen and pulls a Shotgun off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Soldier dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "Hut, Hut, Hut!" with every step he takes]

The Administrator: "Protect the briefcase!"

Soldier: "We need to protect the briefcase!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'Briefcase Room' door]

Scout: "Yo, a lil' help here!?"

[The Soldier pushes the Scout aside and begins to 'decode' the combination]

Soldier: "All right, all right, I got it. Stand back son. 1, 1, 1, umm... 1!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Heavy comes around the corner, Sasha in-hand, charging towards the Scout and Soldier]

Heavy: "INCOMING!"

[Heavy shoulder-barges the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the Intelligence Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the briefcase is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the briefcase] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still here!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with the BLU Sniper's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Gentlemen"

[Meet the Spy' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying the dead Sniper towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the briefcase is safe."

Soldier: "Safe and sound, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill a RED Spy on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a problem.

[He deposits the Sniper's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his back.]

Soldier: "...and a Knife."

[The Scout approaches and removes the knife.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like you!"

[The Scout attempts to manipulate the knife like the Spy, only to cut himself on the finger and drop it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "If you managed to kill them, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And nothing... nothing like the man loose inside this building."

Scout: "What're you? President of his fan club?"

Soldier & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to face the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be your mother!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and the Scout's Mother.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and disbelief]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to f**k us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring your mother will be the second worst thing that happens to you today."

[Right Behind You plays]

[The Soldier and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and shows the Soldier one photo in particular.]

Soldier: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our defenses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the Hydro tunnels. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Engineer. He slides a Electro Sapper across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]

Engineer: "Sentry Down!"

[The BLU Engineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his Pistol, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. The dead Engineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at a target off-screen.]

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to our colleagues!"

[Flash back to the BLU Sniper, now alive and sniping from a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a creaking floorboard, alerting the Sniper who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and the Sniper is ultimately backstabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he could be any one of us..."

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a BLU Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy breaks the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans spectacles.]

Medic: (gasps)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his spectacles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be you! He could be me! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Soldier, Rocket Launcher in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Soldier: "What? It was obvious! [The Soldier pumps his Shotgun, discarding the spent shell.] He's the RED Spy! Watch, he'll turn red any second now..."

[The Soldier and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Soldier prodding the Spy's foot with his Shotgun.]

Soldier: "Any second now... See? Red! Oh, wait...that's blood."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Soldier and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Spy]

Heavy: "So, we still got problem..."

Soldier: "Big problem... alright, who's ready to go find this Spy?"

Spy: "Right behind you."

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the stabbing of the Soldier and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Petite Chou-Fleur plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the Scout's Mother. The RED Spy retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh... ma petite chou-fleur."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's intel in tow.]

[ghasha]

Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Soldier watching the board]

Soldier: "Painis Cupcake is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Soldier reaches from off-screen and pulls a Shotgun off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Soldier dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

The Administrator: "Protect the pizza box!"

Soldier: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Scout: "Yo, a dispenser here!?"

[The Soldier pushes the Scout aside and begins to 'decode' the combination]

Soldier: "All right, all right, I got aids. Stand back son. 5, 6, 7, umm... 8!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Heavy comes around the corner, Sasha in-hand, charging towards the Scout and Soldier]

Heavy: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

[Heavy shoulder-barges the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the Intelligence Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still here!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with the BLU Sniper's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[An encounter with the Entrepreneur of Sensory Shapeshifting with Purpose of Infiltrationary Actions' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying the dead Sniper towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Soldier: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits the Sniper's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his Razorback.]

Soldier: "...and a Cake."

[The Scout approaches and removes the knife.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[The Scout attempts to manipulate the knife like the Spy, only to cut himself on the finger and drop it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "Your words are as empty as your soul, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Scout: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Soldier & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to r*pe the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be my father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and his Father.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and disbelief]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to f**k us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring my father will be the second worst thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Soldier and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and slaps the soldier silly.]

Soldier: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the Hydro tunnels. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Vagineer. He slides a Scout's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]

Vagineer: "Yrtnes Nwod!"

[The BLU Vagineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his Pistol, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. The dead Vagineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at a target off-screen.]

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to our colleagues!"

[Flash back to the BLU Sniper, now alive and sniping from a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a empty BONK! can, alerting the Sniper who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and the Sniper is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a BLU Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy breaks the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans testicles.]

Medic: (Dances)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be Scout's Father!! He could be me! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Soldier, Shotgun in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Soldier: "What? It was obvious! [The Soldier pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh. He's the Scout's Mother! Watch, he'll turn red any second now..."

[The Soldier and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Soldier prodding the Spy's foot with his Shotgun.]

Soldier: "Any second now... See? Red! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Soldier and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron]

Heavy: "So, we still got cake..."

Soldier: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this Spy?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the F**king of the Soldier and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Petite Chou-Fleur plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the BLU spy's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh... ma petite ♥♥♥ slave."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's pizza box in tow.]

[Frozenepic]

Signs illuminate on a large Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'In Base'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Soldier watching the board]

Soldier: "Painis Cupcake is in the base!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Soldier reaches from off-screen and pulls a Shotgun off a rack of weapons. Cut to the Soldier dashing down the stairs and through the 2Fort sublevel while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

The Administrator: "Protect the pizza box!"

Soldier: "We need to protect the pizza box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Scout trying to open the code-locked 'pizza box Room' door]

Scout: "Yo, a dispenser here!?"

[The Soldier pushes the Scout aside and begins to 'decode' the combination]

Soldier: "All right, all right, I got aids. Stand back son. 5, 6, 7, umm... 8!"

Scout: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Heavy comes around the corner, Sasha in-hand, charging towards the Scout and Soldier]

Heavy: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

[Heavy shoulder-barges the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into the Intelligence Room. The Scout reaches the desk to discover the pizza box is perfectly safe.]

Scout: [while screaming, he notices the pizza box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still here!"

Heavy: AAAAalright then.

Spy: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the BLU Spy, with the BLU Sniper's corpse over one shoulder.]

Spy: "Mentlegen."

[An encounter with the Entrepreneur of Sensory Shapeshifting with Purpose of Infiltrationary Actions' Title Card]

[Cut back to the Spy, carrying the dead Sniper towards the desk.]

Spy: "I see the pizza box is safe, Mentlegen."

Soldier: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Scout: "Yeah, it is!"

Spy: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Spy: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits the Sniper's body on the desk, revealing a bloody Knife in his Razorback.]

Soldier: "...and a Cake."

[The Scout approaches and removes the knife.]

Scout: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of Spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scum-bags - like Republicans!"

[The Scout attempts to manipulate the knife like the Spy, only to cut himself on the finger and drop it.]

Scout: "Ow! No offense."

Spy: "Your words are as empty as your soul, I assure you, they were not like me. [The Spy deftly retrieves the knife and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Scout.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Scout: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Soldier & Heavy: (chuckling)

[The Spy turns to r*pe the Scout.]

Spy: "No... that would be my father!"

[The Spy reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising photographs of the RED Spy and his Father.]

Scout: [stammers out of shock and disbelief]

Spy: Indeed, and now he's here to f**k us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring my father will be the second worst thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Soldier and Heavy examine the photographs. The Heavy leans over and slaps the soldier silly.]

Soldier: Oh!

[The Scout frantically retrieves the photos as the Spy lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Scout: "Gimme dat!"

Spy: "Zis Spy has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to the RED Spy, creeping through the Hydro tunnels. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Vagineer. He slides a Scout's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Sentry Gun immediately]

Vagineer: "Yrtnes Nwod!"

[The BLU Vagineer throws his Wrench down and frantically reaches for his Pistol, only to have the Spy shoot him in the head with the Revolver. The dead Vagineer crashes through a door and the Spy steps over him and fires at a target off-screen.]

[Cut back to the BLU Intelligence Room. The BLU Spy leans over the dead Sniper, gesturing frantically.]

Spy: "You've seen what he's done to our colleagues!"

[Flash back to the BLU Sniper, now alive and sniping from a dusty attic. The RED Spy creeps up on him and steps on a empty BONK! can, alerting the Sniper who engages him with the Kukri. A struggle ensues, and the Sniper is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Intelligence Room]

Spy: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the RED Spy fighting a BLU Medic, armed with a Bonesaw.]

Medic: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

[The Spy breaks the Medic's arm, disarming him. Close-up on the Spy's face as he disguises as the Medic, sans testicles.]

Medic: (Dances)

[The Spy kills the Medic with a well-placed chop to the throat, knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to BLU Intel Room. The BLU Spy looks frantic.]

Spy: "He could be in this very room! He could be Scout's Father!! He could be me! He could even be-"

[The Spy is cut off as his head explodes violently. The camera switches to the Soldier, Shotgun in hand, with a confused Heavy, and a panicked Scout.]

Scout: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Heavy: "Oh!"

Soldier: "What? It was obvious! [The Soldier pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh. He's the Scout's Mother! Watch, he'll turn red any second now..."

[The Soldier and Heavy approach the dead Spy, with The Soldier prodding the Spy's foot with his Shotgun.]

Soldier: "Any second now... See? Red! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell."

[The Scout lingers behind, his expression sinister. He approaches the Soldier and Heavy, retrieving the knife he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron]

Heavy: "So, we still got cake..."

Soldier: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find the Cake?"

Spy: "Die, Monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays, with the F**king of the Soldier and Heavy punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Petite Chou-Fleur plays]

[Fade to the scattered photos of the BLU spy's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Spy: "Ahh... ma petite ♥♥♥ slave."

[The RED Spy walks off with the BLU team's pizza box in tow.]

[Argeon]

[Signs illuminate on an invisible Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'Up Your ♥♥♥'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching the board]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is up my ♥♥♥!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Creeper reaches from off-screen and pulls a Pocket Medic off a rack of seal masks. Cut to the Creeper dashing down the stairs and through a DnD Clubroom while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

GLaDOS: "Protect the Pizza Box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the Pizza Box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Vince trying to open the code-locked 'Dungeon Master' door]

Vince: "Need a dispenser here!"

[The Creeper shoots the Vince and begins to count how many times he masturbated that day.]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got AIDS. Stand back, son. 2, 5, 3, uhh... 9!"

Vince: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Wheatley comes around the corner, Banana in-hand, charging towards the Vince and Creeper]

Wheatley: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

Wheatley penetrates the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into Pizza Box Room. The Vince reaches the desk to discover Pizza Box is perfectly safe.]

Vince: [while screaming, he notices Pizza Box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still hot!"

Wheatley: "AAAA...alright then".

Atticus Finch: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the RED zombie, with Robin Walker's corpse over one shoulder.]

Atticus Finch: "Mentlegen."

['Dungeon Master' Title Card]

[Cut back to Atticus Finch, carrying Robin Walker's body towards the desk.]

Atticus Finch: "I see the Pizza Box is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Vince: "Yeah, it is!"

Atticus Finch: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Atticus Finch: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits Robin Walker's body on the desk, revealing a sentry in his Tower of Hats.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Vince approaches and attaches a sapper to the sentry.]

Vince: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scumbags - like Republicans!"

[Donald Trump attempts to manipulate the U.S. economy like Obama, only to find his hair tipping over and drops it.]

Vince: "Ow! No offense."

Atticus Finch: "Your words are as empty as your inventory, and I assure you they were not like Britney Spears.. Atticus Finch deftly Saps the sentry and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Vince.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Vince: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Wheatley: (arm-wrestling)

Atticus Finch turns to r*pe the Vince.]

Atticus Finch: "No... that would be my father!"

[Atticus Finch reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising venn diagrams of the RED Spy and his Father.]

Vince: [stammers out of shock and constipation]

Atticus Finch: Indeed, and now he's here to molest us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring my father will be the first best thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Creeper and Wheatley examine the balls. The Wheatley] leans over and slaps the Creeper silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Vince frantically retrieves the venn diagrams as Atticus Finch lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Vince: "Gimme dat!"

Atticus Finch: "Zis White man has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to Atticus Finch, creeping through the BLU Team's Anuses.. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Toyota Prius with Matt Damon. He slides a Vince's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Toyota Prius immediately]

Matt Damon: "nwod suirP atoyoT!"

[Matt Damon throws his pants down and frantically reaches for his cellphone, only to have Atticus Finch shoot him in the head with the Fuel Rod Gun. Dead Matt Damon crashes through a door and Atticus Finch steps over him and fires at John F. Kennedy.

[Cut back to the BLU Pizza Box Room. Atticus Finch leans over the dead Robin Walker, flipping off the corpse wildly in hopes of resurrection.]

Atticus Finch: "You've seen what he's done to trolls!"

[Flash back to Robin Walker, now alive and fapping in a dusty attic. Atticus Finch creeps up on him and steps on a Madame Dixie, alerting Robin Walker who engages him with the rest of his hats. A struggle ensues, and Robin is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Pizza Box Room]

Atticus Finch: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the Atticus Finch fighting a ♥♥♥♥, armed with a big, black di!do.]

Adolf Hitler: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

Atticus Finch eats Hitler's di**, disarming him. Close-up on Atticus Finch's face as he disguises as Adolf, sans testicles.]

Adolf Hitler: (Dances eroticly.)

[Atticus Finch kills Adolf Hitler with a well-placed chop to the a** , knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to the Dungeon Master's room. Atticus Finch looks frantic.]

Atticus Finch: "He could be in this very room! He could be Vince's Father!! He could be Valve's president! He could even be-"

[Atticus Finch is cut off as his head gets sucked into the Pizza Box violently. The camera switches to the Creeper, Pocket Medic in hand, with a confused Wheatley, and a panicked Vince.]

Vince: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Wheatley: "Oh!"

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Creeper pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh.] He's Vince's Mother! Watch, he'll turn green any second now..."

[The Creeper and Wheatley approach the dead Spy, with The Creeper prodding Atticus Finch's foot with his Pocket Medic.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Green! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell's vomit."

[The Vince lingers behind, his boi faic sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the Sentry he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron, who starts screaming in German and doing some sort of satanic ritual]

Wheatley: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this a**hole?"

Atticus Finch: "Die, monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[My Little Pony ending flourish music plays, with the f**king of the Creeper and Wheatley punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Rick Roll plays]

[Fade to the scattered venn diagrams of Atticus Finch's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Atticus Finch:Ahh...now to f*ck Osama Bin Laden."

[Atticus Finch walks off with the Announcer in his pants.]

[studi_stef]

[Signs illuminate on an invisible Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'Up Your ♥♥♥'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching the board]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is up my ♥♥♥!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Creeper reaches from off-screen and pulls a Pocket Medic off a rack of seal masks. Cut to the Creeper dashing down the stairs and through a DnD Clubroom while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

GLaDOS: "Protect the Pizza Box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the Pizza Box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Vince trying to open the code-locked 'Dungeon Master' door]

Vince: "Need a cupcake here!"

[The Creeper shoots the Vince and begins to count how many times he masturbated that day.]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got AIDS. Stand back, son. 2, 5, 3, uhh... 9!"

Vince: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Wheatley comes around the corner, Banana in-hand, charging towards the Vince and Creeper]

Wheatley: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

Wheatley penetrates the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into Pizza Box Room. The Vince reaches the desk to discover Pizza Box is perfectly safe.]

Vince: [while screaming, he notices Pizza Box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still hot!"

Wheatley: "AAAA...alright then".

Atticus Finch: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the RED zombie, with Robin Walker's corpse over one shoulder.]

Atticus Finch: "Mentlegen."

['Dungeon Master' Title Card]

[Cut back to Atticus Finch, carrying Robin Walker's body towards the desk.]

Atticus Finch: "I see the Pizza Box is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Vince: "Yeah, it is!"

Atticus Finch: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Atticus Finch: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits Robin Walker's body on the desk, revealing a sentry in his Tower of Hats.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Vince approaches and attaches a sapper to the sentry.]

Vince: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scumbags - like Republicans!"

[Donald Trump attempts to manipulate the U.S. economy like Obama, only to find his hair tipping over and drops it.]

Vince: "Ow! No offense."

Atticus Finch: "Your words are as empty as your inventory, and I assure you they were not like Britney Spears.. Atticus Finch deftly Saps the sentry and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Vince.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Vince: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Wheatley: (arm-wrestling)

Atticus Finch turns to r*pe the Vince.]

Atticus Finch: "No... that would be my father!"

[Atticus Finch reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising venn diagrams of the RED Spy and his Father.]

Vince: [stammers out of shock and constipation]

Atticus Finch: Indeed, and now he's here to molest us! So listen up boy, or pornography starring my father will be the first best thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Creeper and Wheatley examine the balls. The Wheatley] leans over and slaps the Creeper silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Vince frantically retrieves the venn diagrams as Atticus Finch lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Vince: "Gimme dat!"

Atticus Finch: "Zis White man has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to Atticus Finch, creeping through the BLU Team's Anuses.. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Toyota Prius with Matt Damon. He slides a Vince's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Toyota Prius immediately]

Matt Damon: "nwod suirP atoyoT!"

[Matt Damon throws his pants down and frantically reaches for his cellphone, only to have Atticus Finch shoot him in the head with the Fuel Rod Gun. Dead Matt Damon crashes through a door and Atticus Finch steps over him and fires at John F. Kennedy.

[Cut back to the BLU Pizza Box Room. Atticus Finch leans over the dead Robin Walker, flipping off the corpse wildly in hopes of resurrection.]

Atticus Finch: "You've seen what he's done to trolls!"

[Flash back to Robin Walker, now alive and fapping in a dusty attic. Atticus Finch creeps up on him and steps on a Madame Dixie, alerting Robin Walker who engages him with the rest of his hats. A struggle ensues, and Robin is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to BLU Pizza Box Room]

Atticus Finch: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the Atticus Finch fighting a ♥♥♥♥, armed with a big, black di!do.]

Adolf Hitler: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

Atticus Finch eats Hitler's di**, disarming him. Close-up on Atticus Finch's face as he disguises as Adolf, sans testicles.]

Adolf Hitler: (Dances eroticly.)

[Atticus Finch kills Adolf Hitler with a well-placed chop to the a** , knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to the Dungeon Master's room. Atticus Finch looks frantic.]

Atticus Finch: "He could be in this very room! He could be Vince's Father!! He could be Valve's president! He could even be-"

[Atticus Finch is cut off as his head gets sucked into the Pizza Box violently. The camera switches to the Creeper, Pocket Medic in hand, with a confused Wheatley, and a panicked Vince.]

Vince: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Wheatley: "Oh!"

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Creeper pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh.] He's Vince's Mother! Watch, he'll turn green any second now..."

[The Creeper and Wheatley approach the dead Spy, with The Creeper prodding Atticus Finch's foot with his Pocket Medic.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Green! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell's vomit."

[The Vince lingers behind, his boi faic sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the Sentry he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron, who starts screaming in German and doing some sort of satanic ritual]

Wheatley: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this a**hole?"

Atticus Finch: "Die, monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[My Little Pony ending flourish music plays, with the f**king of the Creeper and Wheatley punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Rick Roll plays]

[Fade to the scattered venn diagrams of Atticus Finch's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Atticus Finch:Ahh...now to f*ck Osama Bin Laden."

[Atticus Finch walks off with the Announcer in his pants.]

[Argeon]

[Signs illuminate on an invisible Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'Up Your ♥♥♥'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching the board]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is up my ♥♥♥!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Creeper reaches from off-screen and pulls a Pocket Medic off a rack of seal masks. Cut to the Creeper dashing down the stairs and through a DnD Clubroom while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

GLaDOS: "Protect the Pizza Box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the Pizza Box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Vince trying to open the code-locked 'Dungeon Master' door]

Vince: "Need a cupcake here!"

[The Creeper shoots the Vince and begins to count how many times he masturbated that day.]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got AIDS. Stand back, son. 2, 5, 3, uhh... 9!"

Vince: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Wheatley comes around the corner, Banana in-hand, charging towards the Vince and Creeper]

Wheatley: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

Wheatley penetrates the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into Pizza Box Room. The Vince reaches the desk to discover Pizza Box is perfectly safe.]

Vince: [while screaming, he notices Pizza Box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still hot!"

Wheatley: "AAAA...alright then".

Atticus Finch: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the RED zombie, with Robin Walker's corpse over one shoulder.]

Atticus Finch: "Mentlegen."

['Dungeon Master' Title Card]

[Cut back to Atticus Finch, carrying Robin Walker's body towards the desk.]

Atticus Finch: "I see the Pizza Box is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Vince: "Yeah, it is!"

Atticus Finch: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their heads and shrug]

Atticus Finch: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits Robin Walker's body on the desk, revealing a sentry in his Tower of Hats.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Vince approaches and attaches a sapper to the sentry.]

Vince: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scumbags - like Republicans!"

[Donald Trump attempts to manipulate the U.S. economy like Obama, only to find his hair tipping over and drops it.]

Vince: "Ow! No offense."

Atticus Finch: "Your words are as empty as your inventory, and I assure you they were not like Britney Spears.. Atticus Finch deftly Saps the sentry and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Vince.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Vince: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Wheatley: (arm-wrestling)

Atticus Finch turns to r*pe the Vince.]

Atticus Finch: "No... that would be my father!"

[Atticus Finch reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising venn diagrams of the RED Spy and his Father.]

Vince: [stammers out of shock and constipation]

Atticus Finch: Indeed, and now he's here to lecture us! So listen up boy, or essays written by my father will be the first best thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Creeper and Wheatley examine the balls. The Wheatley] leans over and slaps the Creeper silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Vince frantically retrieves the venn diagrams as Atticus Finch lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Vince: "Gimme dat!"

Atticus Finch: "Zis White man has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to Atticus Finch, creeping through the BLU Team's Anuses.. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Toyota Prius with Matt Damon. He slides a Vince's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Toyota Prius immediately]

Matt Damon: "nwod suirP atoyoT!"

[Matt Damon throws his pants down and frantically reaches for his cellphone, only to have Atticus Finch shoot him in the head with the Fuel Rod Gun. Dead Matt Damon crashes through a door and Atticus Finch steps over him and fires at John F. Kennedy.

[Cut back to the BLU Pizza Box Room. Atticus Finch leans over the dead Robin Walker, flipping off the corpse wildly in hopes of resurrection.]

Atticus Finch: "You've seen what he's done to trolls!"

[Flash back to Robin Walker, now alive and fapping in a dusty attic. Atticus Finch creeps up on him and steps on a Madame Dixie, alerting Robin Walker who engages him with the rest of his hats. A struggle ensues, and Robin is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to Dungeon Master Room]

Atticus Finch: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the Atticus Finch fighting a ♥♥♥♥, armed with a big, black di!do.]

Adolf Hitler: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

Atticus Finch eats Hitler's di**, disarming him. Close-up on Atticus Finch's face as he disguises as Adolf, sans testicles.]

Adolf Hitler: (Dances eroticly.)

[Atticus Finch kills Adolf Hitler with a well-placed chop to the a** , knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to the Dungeon Master's room. Atticus Finch looks frantic.]

Atticus Finch: "He could be in this very room! He could be Vince's Father!! He could be Valve's president! He could even be-"

[Atticus Finch is cut off as his head gets sucked into the Pizza Box violently. The camera switches to the Creeper, Pocket Medic in hand, with a confused Wheatley, and a panicked Vince.]

Vince: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Wheatley: "Oh!"

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Creeper pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh.] He's Vince's Mother! Watch, he'll turn green any second now..."

[The Creeper and Wheatley approach the dead Spy, with The Creeper prodding Atticus Finch's foot with his Pocket Medic.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Green! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell's vomit."

[The Vince lingers behind, his boi faic sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the Sentry he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron, who starts screaming in German and doing some sort of satanic ritual]

Wheatley: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this a**hole?"

Atticus Finch: "Die, monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[My Little Pony ending flourish music plays, with the f**king of the Creeper and Wheatley punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Rick Roll plays]

[Fade to the scattered venn diagrams of Atticus Finch's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Atticus Finch:Ahh...now to f*ck Osama Bin Laden."

[Atticus Finch walks off with the Announcer in his pants.]

[Cyanide (SRB)]

[Signs illuminate on an invisible Security Panel: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'Up Your ♥♥♥'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching the board]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is up my ♥♥♥!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Creeper reaches from off-screen and pulls a Pocket Medic off a rack of seal masks. Cut to the Creeper dashing down the stairs and through a DnD Clubroom while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

GLaDOS: "Protect the Pizza Box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the Pizza Box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Vince trying to open the code-locked 'Dungeon Master' door]

Vince: "Need a cupcake here!"

[The Creeper shoots the Vince and begins to count how many times he masturbated that day.]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got AIDS. Stand back, son. 2, 5, 3, uhh... 9!"

Vince: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Wheatley comes around the corner, Banana in-hand, charging towards the Vince and Creeper]

Wheatley: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

Wheatley penetrates the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into Pizza Box Room. The Vince reaches the desk to discover Pizza Box is perfectly safe.]

Vince: [while screaming, he notices Pizza Box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still hot!"

Wheatley: "AAAA...alright then".

Atticus Finch: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the RED zombie, with Robin Walker's corpse over one shoulder.]

Atticus Finch: "Mentlegen."

['Dungeon Master' Title Card]

[Cut back to Atticus Finch, carrying Robin Walker's body towards the desk.]

Atticus Finch: "I see the Pizza Box is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Vince: "Yeah, it is!"

Atticus Finch: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their wieners and shrug]

Atticus Finch: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits Robin Walker's body on the desk, revealing a sentry in his Tower of Hats.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Vince approaches and attaches a sapper to the sentry.]

Vince: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scumbags - like Republicans!"

[Donald Trump attempts to manipulate the U.S. economy like Obama, only to find his hair tipping over and drops it.]

Vince: "Ow! No offense."

Atticus Finch: "Your words are as empty as your inventory, and I assure you they were not like Britney Spears.. Atticus Finch deftly Saps the sentry and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Vince.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Vince: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Wheatley: (arm-wrestling)

Atticus Finch turns to r*pe the Vince.]

Atticus Finch: "No... that would be my father!"

[Atticus Finch reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising venn diagrams of the RED Spy and his Father.]

Vince: [stammers out of shock and constipation]

Atticus Finch: Indeed, and now he's here to lecture us! So listen up boy, or essays written by my father will be the first best thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Creeper and Wheatley examine the balls. The Wheatley] leans over and slaps the Creeper silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Vince frantically retrieves the venn diagrams as Atticus Finch lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Vince: "Gimme dat!"

Atticus Finch: "Zis White man has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to Atticus Finch, creeping through the BLU Team's Anuses.. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Toyota Prius with Matt Damon. He slides a Vince's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Toyota Prius immediately]

Matt Damon: "nwod suirP atoyoT!"

[Matt Damon throws his pants down and frantically reaches for his cellphone, only to have Atticus Finch shoot him in the head with the Fuel Rod Gun. Dead Matt Damon crashes through a door and Atticus Finch steps over him and fires at John F. Kennedy.

[Cut back to the BLU Pizza Box Room. Atticus Finch leans over the dead Robin Walker, flipping off the corpse wildly in hopes of resurrection.]

Atticus Finch: "You've seen what he's done to trolls!"

[Flash back to Robin Walker, now alive and fapping in a dusty attic. Atticus Finch creeps up on him and steps on a Madame Dixie, alerting Robin Walker who engages him with the rest of his hats. A struggle ensues, and Robin is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to Dungeon Master Room]

Atticus Finch: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the Atticus Finch fighting a ♥♥♥♥, armed with a big, black di!do.]

Adolf Hitler: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

Atticus Finch eats Hitler's di**, disarming him. Close-up on Atticus Finch's face as he disguises as Adolf, sans testicles.]

Adolf Hitler: (Dances eroticly.)

[Atticus Finch kills Adolf Hitler with a well-placed chop to the a** , knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to the Dungeon Master's room. Atticus Finch looks frantic.]

Atticus Finch: "He could be in this very room! He could be Vince's Father!! He could be Valve's president! He could even be-"

[Atticus Finch is cut off as his head gets sucked into the Pizza Box violently. The camera switches to the Creeper, Pocket Medic in hand, with a confused Wheatley, and a panicked Vince.]

Vince: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Wheatley: "Oh!"

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Creeper pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh.] He's Vince's Mother! Watch, he'll turn green any second now..."

[The Creeper and Wheatley approach the dead Spy, with The Creeper prodding Atticus Finch's foot with his Pocket Medic.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Green! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell's vomit."

[The Vince lingers behind, his boi faic sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the Sentry he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron, who starts screaming in German and doing some sort of satanic ritual]

Wheatley: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this a**hole?"

Atticus Finch: "Die, monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[My Little Pony ending flourish music plays, with the f**king of the Creeper and Wheatley punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Rick Roll plays]

[Fade to the scattered venn diagrams of Atticus Finch's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Atticus Finch:Ahh...now to f*ck Osama Bin Laden."

[Atticus Finch walks off with the Announcer in his pants.]

[Kozmo]

I am astounded that this game that I created (not this particular thread, but you know what I mean) would go on for so long. The script on all of the threads is pretty much unrecognizable... I wonder if someone should start a clean one.

[Argeon]

I am astounded that this game that I created (not this particular thread, but you know what I mean) would go on for so long. The script on all of the threads is pretty much unrecognizable... I wonder if someone should start a clean one.

No problem. I enjoy playing this game.

[jindafrom]

[Signs illuminate on an invisible TARDIS: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'Up Your ♥♥♥'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching the board]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is up my ♥♥♥!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Creeper reaches from off-screen and pulls a Pocket Medic off a rack of seal masks. Cut to the Creeper dashing down the stairs and through a DnD Clubroom while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

GLaDOS: "Protect the Pizza Box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the Pizza Box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Vince trying to open the code-locked 'Dungeon Master' door]

Vince: "Need a cupcake here!"

[The Creeper shoots the Vince and begins to count how many times he masturbated that day.]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got AIDS. Stand back, son. 2, 5, 3, uhh... 9!"

Vince: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Wheatley comes around the corner, Banana in-hand, charging towards the Vince and Creeper]

Wheatley: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

Wheatley penetrates the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into Pizza Box Room. The Vince reaches the desk to discover Pizza Box is perfectly safe.]

Vince: [while screaming, he notices Pizza Box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still hot!"

Wheatley: "AAAA...alright then".

Atticus Finch: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the RED zombie, with Robin Walker's corpse over one shoulder.]

Atticus Finch: "Mentlegen."

['Dungeon Master' Title Card]

[Cut back to Atticus Finch, carrying Robin Walker's body towards the desk.]

Atticus Finch: "I see the Pizza Box is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Vince: "Yeah, it is!"

Atticus Finch: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their wieners and shrug]

Atticus Finch: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits Robin Walker's body on the desk, revealing a sentry in his Tower of Hats.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Vince approaches and attaches a sapper to the sentry.]

Vince: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scumbags - like Republicans!"

[Donald Trump attempts to manipulate the U.S. economy like Obama, only to find his hair tipping over and drops it.]

Vince: "Ow! No offense."

Atticus Finch: "Your words are as empty as your inventory, and I assure you they were not like Britney Spears.. Atticus Finch deftly Saps the sentry and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Vince.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Vince: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Wheatley: (arm-wrestling)

Atticus Finch turns to r*pe the Vince.]

Atticus Finch: "No... that would be my father!"

[Atticus Finch reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising venn diagrams of the RED Spy and his Father.]

Vince: [stammers out of shock and constipation]

Atticus Finch: Indeed, and now he's here to lecture us! So listen up boy, or essays written by my father will be the first best thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Creeper and Wheatley examine the balls. The Wheatley] leans over and slaps the Creeper silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Vince frantically retrieves the venn diagrams as Atticus Finch lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Vince: "Gimme dat!"

Atticus Finch: "Zis White man has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to Atticus Finch, creeping through the BLU Team's Anuses.. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Toyota Prius with Matt Damon. He slides a Vince's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Toyota Prius immediately]

Matt Damon: "nwod suirP atoyoT!"

[Matt Damon throws his pants down and frantically reaches for his cellphone, only to have Atticus Finch shoot him in the head with the Fuel Rod Gun. Dead Matt Damon crashes through a door and Atticus Finch steps over him and fires at John F. Kennedy.

[Cut back to the BLU Pizza Box Room. Atticus Finch leans over the dead Robin Walker, flipping off the corpse wildly in hopes of resurrection.]

Atticus Finch: "You've seen what he's done to trolls!"

[Flash back to Robin Walker, now alive and fapping in a dusty attic. Atticus Finch creeps up on him and steps on a Madame Dixie, alerting Robin Walker who engages him with the rest of his hats. A struggle ensues, and Robin is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to Dungeon Master Room]

Atticus Finch: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the Atticus Finch fighting a ♥♥♥♥, armed with a big, black di!do.]

Adolf Hitler: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

Atticus Finch eats Hitler's di**, disarming him. Close-up on Atticus Finch's face as he disguises as Adolf, sans testicles.]

Adolf Hitler: (Dances eroticly.)

[Atticus Finch kills Adolf Hitler with a well-placed chop to the a** , knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to the Dungeon Master's room. Atticus Finch looks frantic.]

Atticus Finch: "He could be in this very room! He could be Vince's Father!! He could be Valve's president! He could even be-"

[Atticus Finch is cut off as his head gets sucked into the Pizza Box violently. The camera switches to the Creeper, Pocket Medic in hand, with a confused Wheatley, and a panicked Vince.]

Vince: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Wheatley: "Oh!"

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Creeper pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh.] He's Vince's Mother! Watch, he'll turn green any second now..."

[The Creeper and Wheatley approach the dead Spy, with The Creeper prodding Atticus Finch's foot with his Pocket Medic.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Green! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell's vomit."

[The Vince lingers behind, his boi faic sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the Sentry he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron, who starts screaming in German and doing some sort of satanic ritual]

Wheatley: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this a**hole?"

Atticus Finch: "Die, monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[My Little Pony ending flourish music plays, with the f**king of the Creeper and Wheatley punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Rick Roll plays]

[Fade to the scattered venn diagrams of Atticus Finch's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Atticus Finch:Ahh...now to f*ck Osama Bin Laden."

[Atticus Finch walks off with the Announcer in his pants.]

[Comeau]

Signs illuminate on an invisible TARDIS: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'Up Your ♥♥♥'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching the board]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is up my ♥♥♥!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Creeper reaches from off-screen and pulls a Pocket Medic off a rack of seal masks. Cut to the Creeper dashing down the stairs and through a DnD Clubroom while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

GLaDOS: "Protect the Pizza Box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the Pizza Box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Vince trying to open the code-locked 'Dungeon Master' door]

Vince: "Need a cupcake here!"

[The Creeper shoots the Vince and begins to count how many times he masturbated that day.]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got AIDS. Stand back, son. 2, 5, 3, uhh... 9!"

Vince: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Wheatley comes around the corner, Banana in-hand, charging towards the Vince and Creeper]

Wheatley: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

Wheatley penetrates the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into Pizza Box Room. The Vince reaches the desk to discover Pizza Box is perfectly safe.]

Vince: [while screaming, he notices Pizza Box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still hot!"

Wheatley: "AAAA...alright then".

Atticus Finch: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the RED zombie, with Robin Walker's corpse over one shoulder.]

Atticus Finch: "Mentlegen."

['Dungeon Master' Title Card]

[Cut back to Atticus Finch, carrying Robin Walker's body towards the desk.]

Atticus Finch: "I see the Pizza Box is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Vince: "Yeah, it is!"

Atticus Finch: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their wieners and shrug]

Atticus Finch: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits Robin Walker's body on the desk, revealing a sentry in his Tower of Hats.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Vince approaches and attaches a sapper to the sentry.]

Vince: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scumbags - like Republicans!"

[Donald Trump attempts to manipulate the U.S. economy like Obama, only to find his hair tipping over and drops it.]

Vince: "Ow! No offense."

Atticus Finch: "Your words are as empty as your inventory, and I assure you they were not like Britney Spears.. Atticus Finch deftly Saps the sentry and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Vince.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Vince: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Wheatley: (arm-wrestling)

Atticus Finch turns to r*pe the Vince.]

Atticus Finch: "No... that would be my father!"

[Atticus Finch reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising venn diagrams of the RED Spy and his Father.]

Vince: [stammers out of shock and constipation]

Atticus Finch: Indeed, and now he's here to lecture us! So listen up boy, or essays written by my father will be the first best thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Creeper and Wheatley examine the balls. The Wheatley] leans over and slaps the Creeper silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Vince frantically retrieves the venn diagrams as Atticus Finch lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Vince: "Gimme dat!"

Atticus Finch: "Zis White man has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to Atticus Finch, creeping through the BLU Team's Anuses.. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Toyota Prius with Matt Damon. He slides a Vince's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Toyota Prius immediately]

Matt Damon: "nwod suirP atoyoT!"

[Matt Damon throws his pants down and frantically reaches for his cellphone, only to have Atticus Finch shoot him in the head with the Fuel Rod Gun. Dead Matt Damon crashes through a door and Atticus Finch steps over him and fires at John F. Kennedy.

[Cut back to the BLU Pizza Box Room. Atticus Finch leans over the dead Robin Walker, flipping off the corpse wildly in hopes of resurrection.]

Atticus Finch: "You've seen what he's done to trolls!"

[Flash back to Robin Walker, now alive and fapping in a dusty attic. Atticus Finch creeps up on him and steps on a Madame Dixie, alerting Robin Walker who engages him with the rest of his hats. A struggle ensues, and Robin is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to Dungeon Master Room]

Atticus Finch: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the Atticus Finch fighting a ♥♥♥♥, armed with a big, black di!do.]

Adolf Hitler: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

Atticus Finch eats Hitler's di**, disarming him. Close-up on Atticus Finch's face as he disguises as Adolf, sans testicles.]

Adolf Hitler: (Dances eroticly.)

[Atticus Finch kills Adolf Hitler with a well-placed chop to the a** , knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to the Dungeon Master's room. Atticus Finch looks frantic.]

Atticus Finch: "He could be in this very room! He could be Vince's Father!! He could be Valve's president! He could even be-"

[Atticus Finch is cut off as his head gets sucked into the Pizza Box violently. The camera switches to the Creeper, Pocket Medic in hand, with a confused Wheatley, and a panicked Vince.]

Vince: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Wheatley: "Oh!"

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Creeper pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh.] He's Vince's Mother! Watch, he'll turn green any second now..."

[The Creeper and Wheatley approach the dead Spy, with The Creeper prodding Atticus Finch's foot with his Pocket Medic.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Green! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell's vomit."

[The Vince lingers behind, his boi faic sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the Sentry he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron, who starts screaming in German and doing some sort of satanic ritual]

Wheatley: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this a**hole?"

Atticus Finch: "Die, monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[My Little Pony ending flourish music plays, with the f**king of the Creeper and Wheatley punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Rick Roll plays]

[Fade to the scattered venn diagrams of Atticus Finch's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Atticus Finch:Ahh...now to f*ck Osama Bin Laden."

[Atticus Finch walks off with rabid weasels in his pants.]

[Argeon]

Signs illuminate on an invisible TARDIS: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'Up Your ♥♥♥'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching the board]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is up my ♥♥♥!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Creeper reaches from off-screen and pulls a Pocket Medic off a rack of seal masks. Cut to the Creeper dashing down the stairs and through a DnD Clubroom while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

GLaDOS: "Protect the Pizza Box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the Pizza Box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Vince trying to open the code-locked 'Dungeon Master' door]

Vince: "Need a cupcake here!"

[The Creeper shoots the Vince and begins to count how many times he masturbated that day.]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got AIDS. Stand back, son. 2, 5, 3, uhh... 9!"

Vince: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Wheatley comes around the corner, Banana in-hand, charging towards the Vince and Creeper]

Wheatley: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

Wheatley penetrates the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into Pizza Box Room. The Vince reaches the desk to discover Pizza Box is perfectly safe.]

Vince: [while screaming, he notices Pizza Box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still hot!"

Wheatley: "AAAA...alright then".

Atticus Finch: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the RED zombie, with Robin Walker's corpse over one shoulder.]

Atticus Finch: "Mentlegen."

['Dungeon Master' Title Card]

[Cut back to Atticus Finch, carrying Robin Walker's body towards the desk.]

Atticus Finch: "I see the Pizza Box is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Vince: "Yeah, it is!"

Atticus Finch: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their wieners and shrug]

Atticus Finch: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits Robin Walker's body on the desk, revealing a sentry in his Tower of Hats.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Vince approaches and attaches a sapper to the sentry.]

Vince: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scumbags - like Republicans!"

[Donald Trump attempts to manipulate the U.S. economy like Obama, only to find his hair tipping over and drops it.]

Vince: "Ow! No offense."

Atticus Finch: "Your words are as empty as your inventory, and I assure you they were not like Britney Spears.. Atticus Finch deftly Saps the sentry and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Vince.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Vince: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Wheatley: (arm-wrestling)

Atticus Finch turns to r*pe the Vince.]

Atticus Finch: "No... that would be my father!"

[Atticus Finch reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising venn diagrams of the RED Spy and his Father.]

Vince: [stammers out of shock and constipation]

Atticus Finch: Indeed, and now he's here to lecture us! So listen up boy, or essays written by my father will be the first best thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Creeper and Wheatley examine the balls. The Wheatley leans over and slaps the Creeper silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Vince frantically retrieves the venn diagrams as Atticus Finch lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Vince: "Gimme dat!"

Atticus Finch: "Zis White man has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to Atticus Finch, creeping through the BLU Team's Anuses.. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Toyota Prius with Matt Damon. He slides a Vince's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Toyota Prius immediately]

Matt Damon: "nwod suirP atoyoT!"

[Matt Damon throws his pants down and frantically reaches for his cellphone, only to have Atticus Finch shoot him in the head with the Fuel Rod Gun. Dead Matt Damon crashes through a door and Atticus Finch steps over him and fires at John F. Kennedy.

[Cut back to the BLU Pizza Box Room. Atticus Finch leans over the dead Robin Walker, flipping off the corpse wildly in hopes of resurrection.]

Atticus Finch: "You've seen what he's done to trolls!"

[Flash back to Robin Walker, now alive and fapping in a dusty attic. Atticus Finch creeps up on him and steps on a Madame Dixie, alerting Robin Walker who engages him with the rest of his hats. A struggle ensues, and Robin is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to Dungeon Master Room]

Atticus Finch: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the Atticus Finch fighting a ♥♥♥♥, armed with a big, black di!do.]

Adolf Hitler: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

Atticus Finch eats Hitler's di**, disarming him. Close-up on Atticus Finch's face as he disguises as Adolf, sans testicles.]

Adolf Hitler: (Dances eroticly.)

[Atticus Finch kills Adolf Hitler with a well-placed chop to the a** , knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to the Dungeon Master's room. Atticus Finch looks frantic.]

Atticus Finch: "He could be in this very room! He could be Vince's Father!! He could be Valve's president! He could even be-"

[Atticus Finch is cut off as his head gets sucked into the Pizza Box violently. The camera switches to the Creeper, Pocket Medic in hand, with a confused Wheatley, and a panicked Vince.]

Vince: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Wheatley: "Oh!"

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Creeper pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh.] He's Vince's Mother! Watch, he'll turn green any second now..."

[The Creeper and Wheatley approach the dead Spy, with The Creeper prodding Atticus Finch's foot with his Pocket Medic.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Green! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell's vomit."

[The Vince lingers behind, his boi faic sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the Sentry he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron, who starts screaming in German and doing some sort of satanic ritual]

Wheatley: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this a**hole?"

Atticus Finch: "Die, monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[My Little Pony ending flourish music plays, with the f**king of the Creeper and Wheatley punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Rick Roll plays]

[Fade to the scattered venn diagrams of Atticus Finch's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Atticus Finch:Ahh...now to f*ck Bill, Francis, Louis, and Zoey."

[Atticus Finch walks off with rabid weasels in his pants.]

[Automail_Junkie]

Signs illuminate on an invisible TARDIS: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'Up Your ♥♥♥'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching the board]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is up my ♥♥♥!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Creeper reaches from off-screen and pulls a Pocket Medic off a rack of seal masks. Cut to the Creeper dashing down the stairs and through a DnD Clubroom while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

GLaDOS: "Protect the Pizza Box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the Pizza Box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Vince trying to open the code-locked 'Dungeon Master' door]

Vince: "Need a cupcake here!"

[The Creeper shoots the Vince and begins to count how many times he masturbated that day.]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got AIDS. Stand back, son. 2, 5, 3, uhh... 9!"

Vince: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Wheatley comes around the corner, Banana in-hand, charging towards the Vince and Creeper]

Wheatley: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

Wheatley penetrates the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into Pizza Box Room. The Vince reaches the desk to discover Pizza Box is perfectly safe.]

Vince: [while screaming, he notices Pizza Box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still hot!"

Wheatley: "AAAA...alright then".

Atticus Finch: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the RED zombie, with Robin Walker's corpse over one shoulder.]

Atticus Finch: "Mentlegen."

['Dungeon Master' Title Card]

[Cut back to Atticus Finch, carrying Robin Walker's body towards the desk.]

Atticus Finch: "I see the Pizza Box is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Vince: "Yeah, it is!"

Atticus Finch: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their wieners and shrug]

Atticus Finch: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits Robin Walker's body on the desk, revealing a sentry in his Tower of Hats.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Vince approaches and attaches a radioactive sandvich to the sentry.]

Vince: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scumbags - like Republicans!"

[Donald Trump attempts to manipulate the U.S. economy like Obama, only to find his hair tipping over and drops it.]

Vince: "Ow! No offense."

Atticus Finch: "Your words are as empty as your inventory, and I assure you they were not like Britney Spears.. Atticus Finch deftly Saps the sentry and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Vince.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Vince: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Wheatley: (arm-wrestling)

Atticus Finch turns to r*pe the Vince.]

Atticus Finch: "No... that would be my father!"

[Atticus Finch reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising venn diagrams of the RED Spy and his Father.]

Vince: [stammers out of shock and constipation]

Atticus Finch: Indeed, and now he's here to lecture us! So listen up boy, or essays written by my father will be the first best thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Creeper and Wheatley examine the balls. The Wheatley leans over and slaps the Creeper silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Vince frantically retrieves the venn diagrams as Atticus Finch lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Vince: "Gimme dat!"

Atticus Finch: "Zis White man has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to Atticus Finch, creeping through the BLU Team's Anuses.. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Toyota Prius with Matt Damon. He slides a Vince's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Toyota Prius immediately]

Matt Damon: "nwod suirP atoyoT!"

[Matt Damon throws his pants down and frantically reaches for his cellphone, only to have Atticus Finch shoot him in the head with the Fuel Rod Gun. Dead Matt Damon crashes through a door and Atticus Finch steps over him and fires at John F. Kennedy.

[Cut back to the BLU Pizza Box Room. Atticus Finch leans over the dead Robin Walker, flipping off the corpse wildly in hopes of resurrection.]

Atticus Finch: "You've seen what he's done to trolls!"

[Flash back to Robin Walker, now alive and fapping in a dusty attic. Atticus Finch creeps up on him and steps on a Madame Dixie, alerting Robin Walker who engages him with the rest of his hats. A struggle ensues, and Robin is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to Dungeon Master Room]

Atticus Finch: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the Atticus Finch fighting a ♥♥♥♥, armed with a big, black di!do.]

Adolf Hitler: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

Atticus Finch eats Hitler's di**, disarming him. Close-up on Atticus Finch's face as he disguises as Adolf, sans testicles.]

Adolf Hitler: (Dances eroticly.)

[Atticus Finch kills Adolf Hitler with a well-placed chop to the a** , knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to the Dungeon Master's room. Atticus Finch looks frantic.]

Atticus Finch: "He could be in this very room! He could be Vince's Father!! He could be Valve's president! He could even be-"

[Atticus Finch is cut off as his head gets sucked into the Pizza Box violently. The camera switches to the Creeper, Pocket Medic in hand, with a confused Wheatley, and a panicked Vince.]

Vince: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Wheatley: "Oh!"

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Creeper pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh.] He's Vince's Mother! Watch, he'll turn green any second now..."

[The Creeper and Wheatley approach the dead Spy, with The Creeper prodding Atticus Finch's foot with his Pocket Medic.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Green! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell's vomit."

[The Vince lingers behind, his boi faic sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the Sentry he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron, who starts screaming in German and doing some sort of satanic ritual]

Wheatley: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this a**hole?"

Atticus Finch: "Die, monster! You don't belong in this world!"

[My Little Pony ending flourish music plays, with the f**king of the Creeper and Wheatley punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Rick Roll plays]

[Fade to the scattered venn diagrams of Atticus Finch's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Atticus Finch:Ahh...now to f*ck Bill, Francis, Louis, and Zoey."

[Atticus Finch walks off with rabid weasels in his pants.]

[Argeon]

Signs illuminate on an invisible TARDIS: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'Up Your ♥♥♥'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching the board]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is up my ♥♥♥!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Creeper reaches from off-screen and pulls a Pocket Medic off a rack of seal masks. Cut to the Creeper dashing down the stairs and through a DnD Clubroom while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

GLaDOS: "Protect the Pizza Box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the Pizza Box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Vince trying to open the code-locked 'Dungeon Master' door]

Vince: "Need a cupcake here!"

[The Creeper shoots the Vince and begins to count how many times he masturbated that day.]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got AIDS. Stand back, son. 2, 5, 3, uhh... 9!"

Vince: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Wheatley comes around the corner, Banana in-hand, charging towards the Vince and Creeper]

Wheatley: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

Wheatley penetrates the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into Pizza Box Room. The Vince reaches the desk to discover Pizza Box is perfectly safe.]

Vince: [while screaming, he notices Pizza Box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still hot!"

Wheatley: "AAAA...alright then".

Atticus Finch: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the RED zombie, with Robin Walker's corpse over one shoulder.]

Atticus Finch: "Mentlegen."

['Dungeon Master' Title Card]

[Cut back to Atticus Finch, carrying Robin Walker's body towards the desk.]

Atticus Finch: "I see the Pizza Box is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Vince: "Yeah, it is!"

Atticus Finch: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their wieners and shrug]

Atticus Finch: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits Robin Walker's body on the desk, revealing a sentry in his Tower of Hats.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Vince approaches and attaches a radioactive sandvich to the sentry.]

Vince: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scumbags - like Republicans!"

[Donald Trump attempts to manipulate the U.S. economy like Obama, only to find his hair tipping over and drops it.]

Vince: "Ow! No offense."

Atticus Finch: "Your words are as empty as your inventory, and I assure you they were not like Britney Spears.. Atticus Finch deftly Saps the sentry and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Vince.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Vince: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Wheatley: (arm-wrestling)

Atticus Finch turns to r*pe the Vince.]

Atticus Finch: "No... that would be my father!"

[Atticus Finch reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising venn diagrams of the RED Spy and his Father.]

Vince: [stammers out of shock and constipation]

Atticus Finch: Indeed, and now he's here to lecture us! So listen up boy, or essays written by my father will be the first best thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Creeper and Wheatley examine the balls. The Wheatley leans over and slaps the Creeper silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Vince frantically retrieves the venn diagrams as Atticus Finch lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Vince: "Gimme dat!"

Atticus Finch: "Zis White man has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to Atticus Finch, creeping through the BLU Team's Anuses.. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Toyota Prius with Matt Damon. He slides a Vince's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Toyota Prius immediately]

Matt Damon: "nwod suirP atoyoT!"

[Matt Damon throws his pants down and frantically reaches for his cellphone, only to have Atticus Finch shoot him in the head with the Fuel Rod Gun. Dead Matt Damon crashes through a door and Atticus Finch steps over him and fires at John F. Kennedy.

[Cut back to the BLU Pizza Box Room. Atticus Finch leans over the dead Robin Walker, flipping off the corpse wildly in hopes of resurrection.]

Atticus Finch: "You've seen what he's done to trolls!"

[Flash back to Robin Walker, now alive and fapping in a dusty attic. Atticus Finch creeps up on him and steps on a Madame Dixie, alerting Robin Walker who engages him with the rest of his hats. A struggle ensues, and Robin is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to Dungeon Master Room]

Atticus Finch: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the Atticus Finch fighting a ♥♥♥♥, armed with a big, black di!do.]

Adolf Hitler: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

Atticus Finch eats Hitler's di**, disarming him. Close-up on Atticus Finch's face as he disguises as Adolf, sans testicles.]

Adolf Hitler: (Dances eroticly.)

[Atticus Finch kills Adolf Hitler with a well-placed chop to the a** , knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to the Dungeon Master's room. Atticus Finch looks frantic.]

Atticus Finch: "He could be in this very room! He could be Vince's Father!! He could be Valve's president! He could even be-"

[Atticus Finch is cut off as his head gets sucked into the Pizza Box violently. The camera switches to the Creeper, Pocket Medic in hand, with a confused Wheatley, and a panicked Vince.]

Vince: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Wheatley: "Oh!"

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Creeper pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh.] He's Vince's Mother! Watch, he'll turn green any second now..."

[The Creeper and Wheatley approach the dead Spy, with The Creeper prodding Atticus Finch's foot with his Pocket Medic.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Green! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell's vomit."

[The Vince lingers behind, his boi faic sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the Sentry he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron, who starts screaming in German and doing some sort of satanic ritual]

Wheatley: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this a**hole?"

Atticus Finch: "Die, monster! You don't belong in this map!"

[My Little Pony ending flourish music plays, with the f**king of the Creeper and Wheatley punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Rick Roll plays]

[Fade to the scattered venn diagrams of Atticus Finch's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Atticus Finch:Ahh...now to f*ck Bill, Francis, Louis, and Zoey."

[Atticus Finch walks off with rabid weasels in his pants.]

[Enig.]

Signs illuminate on an invisible TARDIS: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'Up Your ♥♥♥'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching the board]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is up my ♥♥♥!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Creeper reaches from off-screen and pulls a Pocket Medic off a rack of seal masks. Cut to the Creeper dashing down the stairs and through a DnD Clubroom while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

GLaDOS: "Protect the Pizza Box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the Pizza Box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Vince trying to open the code-locked 'Dungeon Master' door]

Vince: "Need a cupcake here!"

[The Creeper shoots the Vince and begins to count how many times he masturbated that day.]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got AIDS. Stand back, son. 2, 5, 3, uhh... 9!"

Vince: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Wheatley comes around the corner, Banana in-hand, charging towards the Vince and Creeper]

Wheatley: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

Wheatley penetrates the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into Pizza Box Room. The Vince reaches the desk to discover Pizza Box is perfectly safe.]

Vince: [while screaming, he notices Pizza Box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still hot!"

Wheatley: "AAAA...alright then".

Atticus Finch: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the RED zombie, with Robin Walker's corpse over one shoulder.]

Atticus Finch: "Mentlegen."

['Dungeon Master' Title Card]

[Cut back to Atticus Finch, carrying Robin Walker's body towards the desk.]

Atticus Finch: "I see the Pizza Box is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Vince: "Yeah, it is!"

Atticus Finch: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their wieners and shrug]

Atticus Finch: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits Robin Walker's body on the desk, revealing a sentry in his Tower of Hats.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Vince approaches and attaches a radioactive sandvich to the sentry.]

Vince: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scumbags - like Republicans!"

[Donald Trump attempts to manipulate the U.S. economy like Obama, only to find his hair tipping over and drops it.]

Vince: "Ow! No offense."

Atticus Finch: "Your words are as empty as your inventory, and I assure you they were not like Britney Spears.. Atticus Finch deftly Saps the sentry and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Vince.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Vince: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Wheatley: (arm-wrestling)

Atticus Finch turns to r*pe the Vince.]

Atticus Finch: "No... that would be my father!"

[Atticus Finch reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising venn diagrams of the RED Spy and his Father.]

Vince: [stammers out of shock and constipation]

Atticus Finch: Indeed, and now he's here to lecture us! So listen up boy, or essays written by my father will be the first best thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Creeper and Wheatley examine the balls. The Wheatley leans over and slaps the Creeper silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Vince frantically retrieves the venn diagrams as Atticus Finch lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Vince: "Gimme dat!"

Atticus Finch: "Zis White man has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to Atticus Finch, creeping through the BLU Team's Anuses.. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Toyota Prius with Matt Damon. He slides a Vince's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Toyota Prius immediately]

Matt Damon: "nwod suirP atoyoT!"

[Matt Damon throws his pants down and frantically reaches for his cellphone, only to have Atticus Finch shoot him in the head with the Fuel Rod Gun. Dead Matt Damon crashes through a door and Atticus Finch steps over him and fires at John F. Kennedy.

[Cut back to the BLU Pizza Box Room. Atticus Finch leans over the dead Robin Walker, flipping off the corpse wildly in hopes of resurrection.]

Atticus Finch: "You've seen what he's done to trolls!"

[Flash back to Robin Walker, now alive and fapping in a dusty attic. Atticus Finch creeps up on him and steps on a Madame Dixie, alerting Robin Walker who engages him with the rest of his hats. A struggle ensues, and Robin is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to Dungeon Master Room]

Atticus Finch: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the Atticus Finch fighting a ♥♥♥♥, armed with a big, black di!do.]

Adolf Hitler: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

Atticus Finch eats Hitler's di**, disarming him. Close-up on Atticus Finch's face as he disguises as Adolf, sans testicles.]

Adolf Hitler: (Dances eroticly.)

[Atticus Finch kills Adolf Hitler with a well-placed chop to the a** , knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to the Dungeon Master's room. Atticus Finch looks frantic.]

Atticus Finch: "He could be in this very room! He could be Vince's Father!! He could be Valve's president! He could even be-"

[Atticus Finch is cut off as his head gets sucked into the Pizza Box violently. The camera switches to the Creeper, Pocket Medic in hand, with a confused Wheatley, and a panicked Vince.]

Vince: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Wheatley: "Oh!"

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Creeper pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh.] He's Vince's Mother! Watch, he'll turn green any second now..."

[The Creeper and Wheatley approach the dead Spy, with The Creeper prodding Atticus Finch's foot with his Pocket Medic.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Green! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell's vomit."

[The Vince lingers behind, his boi faic sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the Sentry he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron, who starts screaming in German and doing some sort of satanic ritual]

Wheatley: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this a**hole?"

Atticus Finch: "Die, monster! You don't belong in this map!"

[The "♥♥♥♥ you, Bronies" ending flourish music plays, with the f**king of the Creeper and Wheatley punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Rick Roll plays]

[Fade to the scattered venn diagrams of Atticus Finch's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Atticus Finch:Ahh...now to f*ck Bill, Francis, Louis, and Zoey."

[Atticus Finch walks off with rabid weasels in his pants.]

[TheKigYarGamer]

Signs illuminate on an invisible TARDIS: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'Up Your ♥♥♥'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching the board]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is up my ♥♥♥!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Creeper reaches from off-screen and pulls a Pocket Medic off a rack of seal masks. Cut to the Creeper dashing down the stairs and through a DnD Clubroom while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

GLaDOS: "Protect the Pizza Box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the Pizza Box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Vince trying to open the code-locked 'Dungeon Master' door]

Vince: "Need a cupcake here!"

[The Creeper shoots the Vince and begins to count how many times he masturbated that day.]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got AIDS. Stand back, son. 2, 5, 3, uhh... 9!"

Vince: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Wheatley comes around the corner, Banana in-hand, charging towards the Vince and Creeper]

Wheatley: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

Wheatley penetrates the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into Pizza Box Room. The Vince reaches the desk to discover Pizza Box is perfectly safe.]

Vince: [while screaming, he notices Pizza Box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still hot!"

Wheatley: "AAAA...alright then".

Atticus Finch: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the RED zombie, with Robin Walker's corpse over one shoulder.]

Atticus Finch: "Mentlegen."

['Dungeon Master' Title Card]

[Cut back to Atticus Finch, carrying Robin Walker's body towards the desk.]

Atticus Finch: "I see the Pizza Box is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Vince: "Yeah, it is!"

Atticus Finch: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their wieners and shrug]

Atticus Finch: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits Robin Walker's body on the desk, revealing a sentry in his Tower of Hats.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Vince approaches and attaches a radioactive sandvich to the sentry.]

Vince: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scumbags - like Republicans!"

[Donald Trump attempts to manipulate the U.S. economy like Obama, only to find his hair tipping over and drops it.]

Vince: "Ow! No offense."

Atticus Finch: "Your words are as empty as your inventory, and I assure you they were not like Britney Spears.. Atticus Finch deftly Saps the sentry and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Vince.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Vince: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Wheatley: (arm-wrestling)

Atticus Finch turns to r*pe the Vince.]

Atticus Finch: "No... that would be my father!"

[Atticus Finch reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising venn diagrams of the RED Spy and his Father.]

Vince: [stammers out of shock and constipation]

Atticus Finch: Indeed, and now he's here to lecture us! So listen up boy, or essays written by my father will be the first best thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Creeper and Wheatley examine the balls. The Wheatley leans over and slaps the Creeper silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Vince frantically retrieves the venn diagrams as Atticus Finch lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Vince: "Gimme dat!"

Atticus Finch: "Zis White man has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to Atticus Finch, creeping through the BLU Team's Anuses.. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Toyota Prius with Matt Damon. He slides a Vince's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Toyota Prius immediately]

Matt Damon: "nwod suirP atoyoT!"

[Matt Damon throws his pants down and frantically reaches for his cellphone, only to have Atticus Finch shoot him in the head with the Fuel Rod Gun. Dead Matt Damon crashes through a door and Atticus Finch steps over him and fires at John F. Kennedy.

[Cut back to the BLU Pizza Box Room. Atticus Finch leans over the dead Robin Walker, flipping off the corpse wildly in hopes of resurrection.]

Atticus Finch: "You've seen what he's done to trolls!"

[Flash back to Robin Walker, now alive and fapping in a dusty attic. Atticus Finch creeps up on him and steps on a Madame Dixie, alerting Robin Walker who engages him with the rest of his hats. A struggle ensues, and Robin is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to Dungeon Master Room]

Atticus Finch: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the Atticus Finch fighting a ♥♥♥♥, armed with a big, black di!do.]

Adolf Hitler: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

Atticus Finch eats Hitler's di**, disarming him. Close-up on Atticus Finch's face as he disguises as Adolf, sans testicles.]

Adolf Hitler: (Dances eroticly.)

[Atticus Finch kills Adolf Hitler with a well-placed chop to the a** , knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to the Dungeon Master's room. Atticus Finch looks frantic.]

Atticus Finch: "He could be in this very room! He could be Vince's Father!! He could be Valve's president! He could even be-"

[Atticus Finch is cut off as his head gets sucked into the Pizza Box violently. The camera switches to the Creeper, Pocket Medic in hand, with a confused Wheatley, and a panicked Vince.]

Vince: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Lambert: Jesus Christ, Fisher! I told you no kills! I'm pulling the plug, mission over!

---------------------------------------
MISSION FAILED
---------------------------------------

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Creeper pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh.] He's Vince's Mother! Watch, he'll turn green any second now..."

[The Creeper and Wheatley approach the dead Spy, with The Creeper prodding Atticus Finch's foot with his Pocket Medic.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Green! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell's vomit."

[The Vince lingers behind, his boi faic sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the Sentry he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron, who starts screaming in German and doing some sort of satanic ritual]

Wheatley: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this a**hole?"

Atticus Finch: "Die, monster! You don't belong in this map!"

[The "♥♥♥♥ you, Bronies" ending flourish music plays, with the f**king of the Creeper and Wheatley punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Rick Roll plays]

[Fade to the scattered venn diagrams of Atticus Finch's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Atticus Finch:Ahh...now to f*ck Bill, Francis, Louis, and Zoey."

[Atticus Finch walks off with rabid weasels in his pants.]

[Argeon]

Signs illuminate on an invisible TARDIS: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'Up Your ♥♥♥'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching the board]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is up my ♥♥♥!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Creeper reaches from off-screen and pulls a Pocket Medic off a rack of seal masks. Cut to the Creeper dashing down the stairs and through a DnD Clubroom while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

GLaDOS: "Protect the Pizza Box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the Pizza Box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Vince trying to open the code-locked 'Dungeon Master' door]

Vince: "Need a cupcake here!"

[The Creeper shoots the Vince and begins to count how many times he masturbated that day.]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got AIDS. Stand back, son. 2, 5, 3, uhh... 9!"

Vince: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Wheatley comes around the corner, Banana in-hand, charging towards the Vince and Creeper]

Wheatley: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

Wheatley penetrates the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into Pizza Box Room. The Vince reaches the desk to discover Pizza Box is perfectly safe.]

Vince: [while screaming, he notices Pizza Box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still hot!"

Wheatley: "AAAA...alright then".

Atticus Finch: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the RED zombie, with Robin Walker's corpse over one shoulder.]

Atticus Finch: "Mentlegen."

['Dungeon Master' Title Card]

[Cut back to Atticus Finch, carrying Robin Walker's body towards the desk.]

Atticus Finch: "I see the Pizza Box is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Vince: "Yeah, it is!"

Atticus Finch: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their wieners and shrug]

Atticus Finch: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits Robin Walker's body on the desk, revealing a sentry in his Tower of Hats.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Vince approaches and attaches a radioactive sandvich to the sentry.]

Vince: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scumbags - like Republicans!"

[Donald Trump attempts to manipulate the U.S. economy like Obama, only to find his hair tipping over and drops it.]

Vince: "Ow! No offense."

Atticus Finch: "Your words are as empty as your inventory, and I assure you they were not like Britney Spears.. Atticus Finch deftly Saps the sentry and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Vince.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Vince: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Wheatley: (arm-wrestling)

Atticus Finch turns to r*pe the Vince.]

Atticus Finch: "No... that would be my father!"

[Atticus Finch reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising venn diagrams of the RED Spy and his Father.]

Vince: [stammers out of shock and constipation]

Atticus Finch: Indeed, and now he's here to lecture us! So listen up boy, or essays written by my father will be the first best thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Creeper and Wheatley examine the balls. The Wheatley leans over and slaps the Creeper silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Vince frantically retrieves the venn diagrams as Atticus Finch lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Vince: "Gimme dat!"

Atticus Finch: "Zis White man has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to Atticus Finch, creeping through the BLU Team's Anuses.. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Toyota Prius with Matt Damon. He slides a Vince's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Toyota Prius immediately]

Matt Damon: "nwod suirP atoyoT!"

[Matt Damon throws his pants down and frantically reaches for his cellphone, only to have Atticus Finch shoot him in the head with the Fuel Rod Gun. Dead Matt Damon crashes through a door and Atticus Finch steps over him and fires at John F. Kennedy.

[Cut back to the BLU Pizza Box Room. Atticus Finch leans over the dead Robin Walker, flipping off the corpse wildly in hopes of resurrection.]

Atticus Finch: "You've seen what he's done to trolls!"

[Flash back to Robin Walker, now alive and fapping in a dusty attic. Atticus Finch creeps up on him and steps on a Madame Dixie, alerting Robin Walker who engages him with the rest of his hats. A struggle ensues, and Robin is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to Dungeon Master Room]

Atticus Finch: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the Atticus Finch fighting a ♥♥♥♥, armed with a big, black di!do.]

Adolf Hitler: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

Atticus Finch eats Hitler's di**, disarming him. Close-up on Atticus Finch's face as he disguises as Adolf, sans testicles.]

Adolf Hitler: (Dances eroticly.)

[Atticus Finch kills Adolf Hitler with a well-placed chop to the a** , knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to the Dungeon Master's room. Atticus Finch looks frantic.]

Atticus Finch: "He could be in this very room! He could be Vince's Father!! He could be Valve's president! He could even be-"

[Atticus Finch is cut off as his head gets sucked into the Pizza Box violently. The camera switches to the Creeper, Pocket Medic in hand, with a confused Wheatley, and a panicked Vince.]

Vince: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Lambert: Jesus Christ, Fisher! I told you no kills! I'm pulling the plug, mission over!

---------------------------------------
MISSION IMPOSSIBLE: SANDVICH PROTOCAL
---------------------------------------


Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Creeper pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh.] He's Vince's Mother! Watch, he'll turn green any second now..."

[The Creeper and Wheatley approach the dead Spy, with The Creeper prodding Atticus Finch's foot with his Pocket Medic.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Green! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell's vomit."

[The Vince lingers behind, his boi faic sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the Sentry he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron, who starts screaming in German and doing some sort of satanic ritual]

Wheatley: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this a**hole?"

Atticus Finch: "Die, monster! You don't belong in this map!"

[The "♥♥♥♥ you, Bronies" ending flourish music plays, with the f**king of the Creeper and Wheatley punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Rick Roll plays]

[Fade to the scattered venn diagrams of Atticus Finch's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Atticus Finch:Ahh...now to f*ck Bill, Francis, Louis, and Zoey."

[Atticus Finch walks off with rabid weasels in his pants.]

[Comeau]

Signs illuminate on an invisible TARDIS: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'Up Your ♥♥♥'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching the board]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is up my ♥♥♥!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Creeper reaches from off-screen and pulls a Pocket Medic off a rack of seal masks. Cut to the Creeper dashing down the stairs and through a DnD Clubroom while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

GLaDOS: "Protect the Pizza Box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the Pizza Box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Vince trying to open the code-locked 'Dungeon Master' door]

Vince: "Need a cupcake here!"

[The Creeper shoots the Vince and begins to count how many times he masturbated that day.]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got AIDS. Stand back, son. 2, 5, 3, uhh... 9!"

Vince: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Wheatley comes around the corner, Banana in-hand, charging towards the Vince and Creeper]

Wheatley: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

Wheatley penetrates the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into Pizza Box Room. The Vince reaches the desk to discover Pizza Box is perfectly safe.]

Vince: [while screaming, he notices Pizza Box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still hot!"

Wheatley: "AAAA...alright then".

Atticus Finch: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the RED zombie, with Robin Walker's corpse over one shoulder.]

Atticus Finch: "Mentlegen."

['Dungeon Master' Title Card]

[Cut back to Atticus Finch, carrying Robin Walker's body towards the desk.]

Atticus Finch: "I see the Pizza Box is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Vince: "Yeah, it is!"

Atticus Finch: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their wieners and shrug]

Atticus Finch: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits Robin Walker's body on the desk, revealing a sentry in his Tower of Hats.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Vince approaches and attaches a radioactive sandvich to the sentry.]

Vince: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scumbags - like Republicans!"

[Donald Trump attempts to manipulate the U.S. economy like Obama, only to find his hair tipping over and drops it.]

Vince: "Ow! No offense."

Atticus Finch: "Your words are as empty as your inventory, and I assure you they were not like Britney Spears.. Atticus Finch deftly Saps the sentry and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Vince.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Vince: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Wheatley: (arm-wrestling)

Atticus Finch turns to r*pe the Vince.]

Atticus Finch: "No... that would be my father!"

[Atticus Finch reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising venn diagrams of the RED Spy and his Father.]

Vince: [stammers out of shock and constipation]

Atticus Finch: Indeed, and now he's here to lecture us! So listen up boy, or essays written by my father will be the first best thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Creeper and Wheatley examine the balls. The Wheatley leans over and slaps the Creeper silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Vince frantically retrieves the venn diagrams as Atticus Finch lights and smokes a cigarillo in the foreground.]

Vince: "Gimme dat!"

Atticus Finch: "Zis White man has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to Atticus Finch, creeping through the BLU Team's Anuses.. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Toyota Prius with Matt Damon. He slides a Vince's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Toyota Prius immediately]

Matt Damon: "nwod suirP atoyoT!"

[Matt Damon throws his pants down and frantically reaches for his cellphone, only to have Atticus Finch shoot him in the head with the Fuel Rod Gun. Dead Matt Damon crashes through a door and Atticus Finch steps over him and fires at John F. Kennedy.

[Cut back to the BLU Pizza Box Room. Atticus Finch leans over the dead Robin Walker, flipping off the corpse wildly in hopes of resurrection.]

Atticus Finch: "You've seen what he's done to trolls!"

[Flash back to Robin Walker, now alive and fapping in a dusty attic. Atticus Finch creeps up on him and steps on a Madame Dixie, alerting Robin Walker who engages him with the rest of his hats. A struggle ensues, and Robin is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to Dungeon Master Room]

Atticus Finch: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the Atticus Finch fighting a ♥♥♥♥, armed with a big, black di!do.]

Adolf Hitler: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

Atticus Finch eats Hitler's di**, disarming him. Close-up on Atticus Finch's face as he disguises as Adolf, sans testicles.]

Adolf Hitler: (Dances eroticly.)

[Atticus Finch kills Adolf Hitler with a well-placed chop to the a** , knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to the Dungeon Master's room. Atticus Finch looks frantic.]

Atticus Finch: "He could be in this very room! He could be Vince's Father!! He could be Valve's president! He could even be-"

[Atticus Finch is cut off as his head gets sucked into the Pizza Box violently. The camera switches to the Creeper, Pocket Medic in hand, with a confused Wheatley, and a panicked Vince.]

Vince: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Lambert: Jesus Christ, Fisher! I told you no kills! I'm pulling the plug, mission over!

---------------------------------------
MISSION IMPOSSIBLE: SANDVICH PROTOCAL
---------------------------------------

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Creeper pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh.] He's Vince's Mother! Watch, he'll turn green any second now..."

[The Creeper and Wheatley approach the dead Spy, with The Creeper prodding Atticus Finch's foot with his Pocket Medic.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Green! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell's vomit."

[The Vince lingers behind, his boi faic sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the Sentry he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron, who starts screaming in German and doing some sort of satanic ritual which involves fapping to a cadaver.]

Wheatley: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this a**hole?"

Atticus Finch: "Die, monster! You don't belong in this map!"

[The "♥♥♥♥ you, Bronies" ending flourish music plays, with the f**king of the Creeper and Wheatley punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Rick Roll plays]

[Fade to the scattered venn diagrams of Atticus Finch's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Atticus Finch:Ahh...now to f*ck Bill, Francis, Louis, and Zoey."

[Atticus Finch walks off with rabid weasels in his pants.]

[Dog in yard]

Signs illuminate on an invisible TARDIS: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'Up Your ♥♥♥'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching the board]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is up my ♥♥♥!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Creeper reaches from off-screen and pulls a Pocket Medic off a rack of seal masks. Cut to the Creeper dashing down the stairs and through a DnD Clubroom while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

GLaDOS: "Protect the Pizza Box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the Pizza Box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Vince trying to open the code-locked 'Dungeon Master' door]

Vince: "Need a cupcake here!"

[The Creeper shoots the Vince and begins to count how many times he masturbated that day.]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got AIDS. Stand back, son. 2, 5, 3, uhh... 9!"

Vince: Let's go, let's go-



Wheatley: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

Wheatley penetrates the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into Pizza Box Room. The Vince reaches the desk to discover Pizza Box is perfectly safe.]

Vince: [while screaming, he notices Pizza Box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still hot!"

Wheatley: "AAAA...alright then".

Atticus Finch: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the RED zombie, with Robin Walker's corpse over one shoulder.]

Atticus Finch: "Mentlegen."

['Dungeon Master' Title Card]

[Cut back to Atticus Finch, carrying Robin Walker's body towards the desk.]

Atticus Finch: "I see the Pizza Box is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is the sandvich, mm-hmm."

Vince: "Yeah, it is!"

Atticus Finch: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their wieners and shrug]

Atticus Finch: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits Robin Walker's body on the desk, revealing a sentry in his Tower of Hats.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Vince approaches and attaches a radioactive sandvich to the sentry.]

Vince: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scumbags - like Republicans!"

[Donald Trump attempts to manipulate the U.S. economy like Obama, only to find his hair tipping over and drops it.]

Vince: "Ow! No offense."

Atticus Finch: "Your words are as empty as your inventory, and I assure you they were not like Britney Spears.. Atticus Finch deftly Saps the sentry and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Vince.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Vince: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Wheatley: (arm-wrestling)

Atticus Finch turns to r*pe the Vince.]

Atticus Finch: "No... that would be my father!"

[Atticus Finch reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising venn diagrams of the RED Spy and his Father.]

Vince: [stammers out of shock and constipation]

Atticus Finch: Indeed, and now he's here to lecture us! So listen up boy, or essays written by my father will be the first best thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Creeper and Wheatley examine the balls. The Wheatley leans over and slaps the Creeper silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Vince frantically retrieves the venn diagrams as Atticus Finch lights and smokes a [B]crocket in the foreground.]

Vince: "Gimme dat!"

Atticus Finch: "Zis White man has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to Atticus Finch, creeping through the BLU Team's Anuses.. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Toyota Prius with Matt Damon. He slides a Vince's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Toyota Prius immediately]

Matt Damon: "nwod suirP atoyoT!"

[Matt Damon throws his pants down and frantically reaches for his cellphone, only to have Atticus Finch shoot him in the head with the Fuel Rod Gun. Dead Matt Damon crashes through a door and Atticus Finch steps over him and fires at John F. Kennedy.

[Cut back to the BLU Pizza Box Room. Atticus Finch leans over the dead Robin Walker, flipping off the corpse wildly in hopes of resurrection.]

Atticus Finch: "You've seen what he's done to trolls!"

[Flash back to Robin Walker, now alive and fapping in a dusty attic. Atticus Finch creeps up on him and steps on a Madame Dixie, alerting Robin Walker who engages him with the rest of his hats. A struggle ensues, and Robin is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to Dungeon Master Room]

Atticus Finch: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the Atticus Finch fighting a ♥♥♥♥, armed with a big, black di!do.]

Adolf Hitler: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

Atticus Finch eats Hitler's di**, disarming him. Close-up on Atticus Finch's face as he disguises as Adolf, sans testicles.]

Adolf Hitler: (Dances eroticly.)

[Atticus Finch kills Adolf Hitler with a well-placed chop to the a** , knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to the Dungeon Master's room. Atticus Finch looks frantic.]

Atticus Finch: "He could be in this very room! He could be Vince's Father!! He could be Valve's president! He could even be-"

[Atticus Finch is cut off as his head gets sucked into the Pizza Box violently. The camera switches to the Creeper, Pocket Medic in hand, with a confused Wheatley, and a panicked Vince.]

Vince: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Lambert: Jesus Christ, Fisher! I told you no kills! I'm pulling the plug, mission over!

---------------------------------------
MISSION IMPOSSIBLE: SANDVICH PROTOCAL
---------------------------------------

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Creeper pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh.] He's Vince's Mother! Watch, he'll turn green any second now..."

[The Creeper and Wheatley approach the dead Spy, with The Creeper prodding Atticus Finch's foot with his Pocket Medic.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Green! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell's vomit."

[The Vince lingers behind, his boi faic sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the Sentry he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron, who starts screaming in German and doing some sort of satanic ritual which involves fapping to a cadaver.]

Wheatley: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this a**hole?"

Atticus Finch: "Die, monster! You don't belong in this map!"

[The "♥♥♥♥ you, Bronies" ending flourish music plays, with the f**king of the Creeper and Wheatley punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Rick Roll plays]

[Fade to the scattered venn diagrams of Atticus Finch's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Atticus Finch:Ahh...now to f*ck Bill, Francis, Louis, and Zoey."

[Atticus Finch walks off with rabid weasels in his pants.]

[Sandvich137]

Signs illuminate on an invisible TARDIS: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'Up Your ♥♥♥'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching the board]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is up my ♥♥♥!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Creeper reaches from off-screen and pulls a Pocket Medic off a rack of seal masks. Cut to the Creeper dashing down the stairs and through a DnD Clubroom while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

GLaDOS: "Protect the Pizza Box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the Pizza Box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Vince trying to open the code-locked 'Dungeon Master' door]

Vince: "Need a cupcake here!"

[The Creeper shoots the Vince and begins to count how many times he masturbated that day.]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got AIDS. Stand back, son. 2, 5, 3, uhh... 9!"

Vince: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Wheatley comes around the corner, Banana in-hand, charging towards the Vince and Creeper]

Wheatley: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

Wheatley penetrates the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into Pizza Box Room. The Vince reaches the desk to discover Pizza Box is perfectly safe.]

Vince: [while screaming, he notices Pizza Box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still hot!"

Wheatley: "AAAA...alright then".

Atticus Finch: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the RED zombie, with Robin Walker's corpse over one shoulder.]

Atticus Finch: "Mentlegen."

['Dungeon Master' Title Card]

[Cut back to Atticus Finch, carrying Robin Walker's body towards the desk.]

Atticus Finch: "I see the Pizza Box is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is my relationship, mm-hmm."

Vince: "Yeah, it is!"

Atticus Finch: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Rin Kagamine on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their wieners and shrug]

Atticus Finch: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits Robin Walker's body on the desk, revealing a sentry in his Tower of Hats.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Vince approaches and attaches a radioactive sandvich to the sentry.]

Vince: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scumbags - like Republicans!"

[Donald Trump attempts to manipulate the U.S. economy like Obama, only to find his hair tipping over and drops it.]

Vince: "Ow! No offense."

Atticus Finch: "Your words are as empty as your inventory, and I assure you they were not like Britney Spears.. Atticus Finch deftly Saps the sentry and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Vince.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Vince: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Wheatley: (arm-wrestling)

Atticus Finch turns to r*pe the Vince.]

Atticus Finch: "No... that would be my father!"

[Atticus Finch reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising venn diagrams of the RED Spy and his Father.]

Vince: [stammers out of shock and constipation]

Atticus Finch: Indeed, and now he's here to lecture us! So listen up boy, or essays written by my father will be the first best thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Creeper and Wheatley examine the balls. The Wheatley leans over and slaps the Creeper silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Vince frantically retrieves the venn diagrams as Atticus Finch lights and smokes a crocket in the foreground.]

Vince: "Gimme dat!"

Atticus Finch: "Zis White man has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to Atticus Finch, creeping through the BLU Team's Anuses.. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Toyota Prius with Matt Damon. He slides a Vince's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Toyota Prius immediately]

Matt Damon: "nwod suirP atoyoT!"

[Matt Damon throws his pants down and frantically reaches for his cellphone, only to have Atticus Finch shoot him in the head with the Fuel Rod Gun. Dead Matt Damon crashes through a door and Atticus Finch steps over him and fires at John F. Kennedy.

[Cut back to the BLU Pizza Box Room. Atticus Finch leans over the dead Robin Walker, flipping off the corpse wildly in hopes of resurrection.]

Atticus Finch: "You've seen what he's done to trolls!"

[Flash back to Robin Walker, now alive and fapping in a dusty attic. Atticus Finch creeps up on him and steps on a Madame Dixie, alerting Robin Walker who engages him with the rest of his hats. A struggle ensues, and Robin is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to Dungeon Master Room]

Atticus Finch: "And worst of all, he like to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the Atticus Finch fighting a ♥♥♥♥, armed with a big, black di!do.]

Adolf Hitler: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

Atticus Finch eats Hitler's di**, disarming him. Close-up on Atticus Finch's face as he disguises as Adolf, sans testicles.]

Adolf Hitler: (Dances eroticly.)

[Atticus Finch kills Adolf Hitler with a well-placed chop to the a** , knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to the Dungeon Master's room. Atticus Finch looks frantic.]

Atticus Finch: "He could be in this very room! He could be Vince's Father!! He could be Valve's president! He could even be-"

[Atticus Finch is cut off as his head gets sucked into the Pizza Box violently. The camera switches to the Creeper, Pocket Medic in hand, with a confused Wheatley, and a panicked Vince.]

Vince: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Lambert: Jesus Christ, Fisher! I told you no kills! I'm pulling the plug, mission over!

---------------------------------------
MISSION IMPOSSIBLE: SANDVICH PROTOCAL
---------------------------------------

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Creeper pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh.] He's Vince's Mother! Watch, he'll turn green any second now..."

[The Creeper and Wheatley approach the dead Spy, with The Creeper prodding Atticus Finch's foot with his Pocket Medic.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Green! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell's vomit."

[The Vince lingers behind, his boi faic sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the Sentry he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron, who starts screaming in German and doing some sort of satanic ritual which involves fapping to a cadaver.]

Wheatley: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this a**hole?"

Atticus Finch: "Die, monster! You don't belong in this map!"

[The "♥♥♥♥ you, Bronies" ending flourish music plays, with the f**king of the Creeper and Wheatley punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Rick Roll plays]

[Fade to the scattered venn diagrams of Atticus Finch's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Atticus Finch:Ahh...now to f*ck Bill, Francis, Louis, and Zoey."

[Atticus Finch walks off with rabid weasels in his pants.]

[Ificationer]

Signs illuminate on an invisible TARDIS: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'Up Your ♥♥♥'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching your neighbors wife]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is up my ♥♥♥!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Creeper reaches from off-screen and pulls a Pocket Medic off a rack of seal masks. Cut to the Creeper dashing down the stairs and through a DnD Clubroom while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

GLaDOS: "Protect the Pizza Box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the Pizza Box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Vince trying to open the code-locked 'Dungeon Master' door]

Vince: "Need a cupcake here!"

[The Creeper shoots the Vince and begins to count how many times he masturbated that day.]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got AIDS. Stand back, son. 2, 5, 3, uhh... 9!"

Vince: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Wheatley comes around the corner, Banana in-hand, charging towards the Vince and Creeper]

Wheatley: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

Wheatley penetrates the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into Pizza Box Room. The Vince reaches the desk to discover Pizza Box is perfectly safe.]

Vince: [while screaming, he notices Pizza Box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still hot!"

Wheatley: "AAAAA...alright then".

Atticus Finch: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the RED zombie, with Robin Walker's corpse over one shoulder.]

Atticus Finch: "Mentlegen."

['Dungeon Master' Title Card]

[Cut back to Atticus Finch, carrying Robin Walker's body towards the desk.]

Atticus Finch: "I see the Pizza Box is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is my relationship, mm-hmm."

Vince: "Yeah, it is!"

Atticus Finch: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Justin Bieber on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their wieners and shrug]

Atticus Finch: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits Robin Walker's body on the desk, revealing a sentry in his Tower of Hats.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Vince approaches and attaches a radioactive sandvich to the sentry.]

Vince: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scumbags - like Republicans!"

[Donald Trump attempts to manipulate the U.S. economy like Obama, only to find his hair tipping over and drops it.]

Vince: "Ow! No offense."

Atticus Finch: "Your words are as empty as your inventory, and I assure you they were not like Britney Spears.. Atticus Finch deftly Saps the sentry and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Vince.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Vince: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Wheatley: (arm-wrestling)

Atticus Finch turns to r*pe the Vince.]

Atticus Finch: "No... that would be my father!"

[Atticus Finch reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising venn diagrams of the RED Spy and his Father.]

Vince: [stammers out of shock and constipation]

Atticus Finch: Indeed, and now he's here to lecture us! So listen up boy, or essays written by my father will be the first best thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Creeper and Wheatley examine the balls. The Wheatley leans over and slaps the Creeper silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Vince frantically retrieves the venn diagrams as Atticus Finch lights and smokes a crocket in the foreground.]

Vince: "Gimme dat!"

Atticus Finch: "Zis White man has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to Atticus Finch, creeping through the BLU Team's Anuses.. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Toyota Prius with Matt Damon. He slides a Vince's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Toyota Prius immediately]

Matt Damon: "nwod suirP atoyoT!"

[Matt Damon throws his pants down and frantically reaches for his cellphone, only to have Atticus Finch shoot him in the head with the Fuel Rod Gun. Dead Matt Damon crashes through a door and Atticus Finch steps over him and fires at John F. Kennedy.

[Cut back to the BLU Pizza Box Room. Atticus Finch leans over the dead Robin Walker, flipping off the corpse wildly in hopes of resurrection.]

Atticus Finch: "You've seen what he's done to trolls!"

[Flash back to Robin Walker, now alive and fapping in a dusty attic. Atticus Finch creeps up on him and steps on a Madame Dixie, alerting Robin Walker who engages him with the rest of his hats. A struggle ensues, and Robin is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to Dungeon Master Room]

Atticus Finch: "And worst of all, he likes to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the Atticus Finch fighting a ♥♥♥♥, armed with a big, black di!do.]

Adolf Hitler: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

Atticus Finch eats Hitler's di**, disarming him. Close-up on Atticus Finch's face as he disguises as Adolf, sans testicles.]

Adolf Hitler: (Dances eroticly.)

[Atticus Finch kills Adolf Hitler with a well-placed chop to the a** , knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to the Dungeon Master's room. Atticus Finch looks frantic.]

Atticus Finch: "He could be in this very room! He could be Vince's Father!! He could be Valve's president! He could even be-"

[Atticus Finch is cut off as his head gets sucked into the Pizza Box violently. The camera switches to the Creeper, Pocket Medic in hand, with a confused Wheatley, and a panicked Vince.]

Vince: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Lambert: Jesus Christ, Fisher! I told you no kills! I'm pulling the plug, mission over!

---------------------------------------
MISSION IMPOSSIBLE: SANDVICH PROTOCAL
---------------------------------------

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Creeper pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh.] He's Vince's Mother! Watch, he'll turn green any second now..."

[The Creeper and Wheatley approach the dead Spy, with The Creeper prodding Atticus Finch's foot with his Pocket Medic.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Green! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell's vomit."

[The Vince lingers behind, his boi faic sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the Sentry he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron, who starts screaming in German and doing some sort of satanic ritual which involves fapping to a cadaver.]

Wheatley: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this a**hole?"

Atticus Finch: "Die, monster! You don't belong in this map!"

[The "♥♥♥♥ you, Bronies" ending flourish music plays, with the f**king of the Creeper and Wheatley punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Rick Roll plays]

[Fade to the scattered venn diagrams of Atticus Finch's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Atticus Finch:Ahh...now to f*ck Bill, Francis, Louis, and Zoey."

[Atticus Finch walks off with rabid weasels in his pants.]

[Argeon]

Signs illuminate on an invisible TARDIS: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'Up Your ♥♥♥'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching your neighbors kids]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is up my ♥♥♥!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Creeper reaches from off-screen and pulls a Pocket Medic off a rack of seal masks. Cut to the Creeper dashing down the stairs and through a DnD Clubroom while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

GLaDOS: "Protect the Pizza Box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the Pizza Box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Vince trying to open the code-locked 'Dungeon Master' door]

Vince: "Need a cupcake here!"

[The Creeper shoots the Vince and begins to count how many times he masturbated that day.]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got AIDS. Stand back, son. 2, 5, 3, uhh... 9!"

Vince: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Wheatley comes around the corner, Banana in-hand, charging towards the Vince and Creeper]

Wheatley: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

Wheatley penetrates the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into Pizza Box Room. The Vince reaches the desk to discover Pizza Box is perfectly safe.]

Vince: [while screaming, he notices Pizza Box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still hot!"

Wheatley: "AAAAA...alright then".

Atticus Finch: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the RED zombie, with Robin Walker's corpse over one shoulder.]

Atticus Finch: "Mentlegen."

['Dungeon Master' Title Card]

[Cut back to Atticus Finch, carrying Robin Walker's body towards the desk.]

Atticus Finch: "I see the Pizza Box is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is my relationship, mm-hmm."

Vince: "Yeah, it is!"

Atticus Finch: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Justin Bieber on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their wieners and shrug]

Atticus Finch: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits Robin Walker's body on the desk, revealing a sentry in his Tower of Hats.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Vince approaches and attaches a radioactive sandvich to the sentry.]

Vince: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scumbags - like Republicans!"

[Donald Trump attempts to manipulate the U.S. economy like Obama, only to find his hair tipping over and drops it.]

Vince: "Ow! No offense."

Atticus Finch: "Your words are as empty as your inventory, and I assure you they were not like Britney Spears.. Atticus Finch deftly Saps the sentry and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Vince.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Vince: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Wheatley: (arm-wrestling)

Atticus Finch turns to r*pe the Vince.]

Atticus Finch: "No... that would be my father!"

[Atticus Finch reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising venn diagrams of the RED Spy and his Father.]

Vince: [stammers out of shock and constipation]

Atticus Finch: Indeed, and now he's here to lecture us! So listen up boy, or essays written by my father will be the first best thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Creeper and Wheatley examine the balls. The Wheatley leans over and slaps the Creeper silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Vince frantically retrieves the venn diagrams as Atticus Finch lights and smokes a crocket in the foreground.]

Vince: "Gimme dat!"

Atticus Finch: "Zis White man has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to Atticus Finch, creeping through the BLU Team's Anuses.. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Toyota Prius with Matt Damon. He slides a Vince's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Toyota Prius immediately]

Matt Damon: "nwod suirP atoyoT!"

[Matt Damon throws his pants down and frantically reaches for his cellphone, only to have Atticus Finch shoot him in the head with the Fuel Rod Gun. Dead Matt Damon crashes through a door and Atticus Finch steps over him and fires at John F. Kennedy.

[Cut back to the BLU Pizza Box Room. Atticus Finch leans over the dead Robin Walker, flipping off the corpse wildly in hopes of resurrection.]

Atticus Finch: "You've seen what he's done to trolls!"

[Flash back to Robin Walker, now alive and fapping in a dusty attic. Atticus Finch creeps up on him and steps on a Madame Dixie, alerting Robin Walker who engages him with the rest of his hats. A struggle ensues, and Robin is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to Dungeon Master Room]

Atticus Finch: "And worst of all, he likes to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the Atticus Finch fighting a ♥♥♥♥, armed with a big, black di!do.]

Adolf Hitler: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

Atticus Finch eats Hitler's di**, disarming him. Close-up on Atticus Finch's face as he disguises as Adolf, sans testicles.]

Adolf Hitler: (Dances eroticly.)

[Atticus Finch kills Adolf Hitler with a well-placed chop to the a** , knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to the Dungeon Master's room. Atticus Finch looks frantic.]

Atticus Finch: "He could be in this very room! He could be Vince's Father!! He could be Valve's president! He could even be-"

[Atticus Finch is cut off as his head gets sucked into the Pizza Box violently. The camera switches to the Creeper, Pocket Medic in hand, with a confused Wheatley, and a panicked Vince.]

Vince: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Lambert: Jesus Christ, Fisher! I told you no kills! I'm pulling the plug, mission over!

---------------------------------------
MISSION IMPOSSIBLE: SANDVICH PROTOCAL
---------------------------------------

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Creeper pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh.] He's Vince's Mother! Watch, he'll turn green any second now..."

[The Creeper and Wheatley approach the dead Spy, with The Creeper prodding Atticus Finch's foot with his Pocket Medic.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Green! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell's vomit."

[The Vince lingers behind, his boi faic sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the Sentry he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron, who starts screaming in German and doing some sort of satanic ritual which involves fapping to a cadaver.]

Wheatley: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this a**hole?"

Atticus Finch: "Die, monster! You don't belong in this map!"

[The "♥♥♥♥ you, Bronies" ending flourish music plays, with the f**king of the Creeper and Wheatley punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Rick Roll plays]

[Fade to the scattered venn diagrams of Atticus Finch's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Atticus Finch:Ahh...now to f*ck Bill, Francis, Louis, and Zoey."

[Atticus Finch walks off with rabid weasels in his pants.]

[L'Assassino]

Signs illuminate on an invisible TARDIS: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'Up Your ♥♥♥'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching your neighbors kids]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is up my ♥♥♥!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Creeper reaches from off-screen and pulls a Pocket Medic off a rack of seal masks. Cut to the Creeper dashing down the stairs and through a DnD Clubroom while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

GLaDOS: "Protect the Pizza Box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the Pizza Box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Vince trying to open the code-locked 'Dungeon Master' door]

Vince: "Need a cupcake here!"

[The Creeper shoots the Vince and begins to count how many times he masturbated that day.]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got AIDS. Stand back, son. 2, 5, 3, uhh... 9!"

Vince: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Wheatley comes around the corner, Banana in-hand, charging towards the Vince and Creeper]

Wheatley: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

Wheatley penetrates the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into Pizza Box Room. The Vince reaches the desk to discover Pizza Box is perfectly safe.]

Vince: [while screaming, he notices Pizza Box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still hot!"

Wheatley: "AAAAA...alright then".

Atticus Finch: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the RED zombie, with Robin Walker's corpse over one shoulder.]

Atticus Finch: "Mentlegen."

['Dungeon Master' Title Card]

[Cut back to Atticus Finch, carrying Robin Walker's body towards the desk.]

Atticus Finch: "I see the Pizza Box is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is my relationship, mm-hmm."

Vince: "Yeah, it is!"

Atticus Finch: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Justin Bieber on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their wieners and shrug]

Atticus Finch: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits Robin Walker's body on the desk, revealing a sentry in his Tower of Hats.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Vince approaches and attaches a radioactive sandvich to the sentry.]

Vince: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-scratching scumbags - like Republicans!"

[Donald Trump attempts to manipulate the U.S. economy like Obama, only to find his hair tipping over and drops it.]

Vince: "Ow! No offense."

Atticus Finch: "Your words are as empty as your inventory, and I assure you they were not like Britney Spears.. Atticus Finch deftly Saps the sentry and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Vince.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Vince: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Wheatley: (arm-wrestling)

Atticus Finch turns to r*pe the Vince.]

Atticus Finch: "No... that would be my father!"

[Atticus Finch reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising venn diagrams of the RED Spy and his Father.]

Vince: [stammers out of shock and constipation]

Atticus Finch: Indeed, and now he's here to lecture us! So listen up boy, or essays written by my father will be the first best thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Creeper and Wheatley examine the balls. The Wheatley leans over and slaps the Creeper silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Vince frantically retrieves the venn diagrams as Atticus Finch lights and smokes a crocket in the foreground.]

Vince: "Gimme dat!"

Atticus Finch: "Zis White man has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to Atticus Finch, creeping through the BLU Team's Anuses.. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Toyota Prius with Matt Damon. He slides a Vince's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Toyota Prius immediately]

Matt Damon: "nwod suirP atoyoT!"

[Matt Damon throws his pants down and frantically reaches for his cellphone, only to have Atticus Finch shoot him in the head with the Fuel Rod Gun. Dead Matt Damon crashes through a door and Atticus Finch steps over him and fires at John F. Kennedy.

[Cut back to the BLU Pizza Box Room. Atticus Finch leans over the dead Robin Walker, flipping off the corpse wildly in hopes of resurrection.]

Atticus Finch: "You've seen what he's done to trolls!"

[Flash back to Robin Walker, now alive and fapping in a dusty attic. Atticus Finch creeps up on him and steps on a Madame Dixie, alerting Robin Walker who engages him with the rest of his hats. A struggle ensues, and Robin is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to Dungeon Master Room]

Atticus Finch: "And worst of all, he likes to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the Atticus Finch fighting a ♥♥♥♥, armed with a big, black di!do.]

Adolf Hitler: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

Atticus Finch eats Hitler's di**, disarming him. Close-up on Atticus Finch's face as he disguises as Adolf, sans testicles.]

Adolf Hitler: (Dances eroticly.)

[Atticus Finch kills Adolf Hitler with a well-placed chop to the a** , knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to the Dungeon Master's room. Atticus Finch looks frantic.]

Atticus Finch: "He could be in this very room! He could be Vince's Father!! He could be Valve's president! He could even be-"

[Atticus Finch is cut off as his head gets sucked into the Pizza Box violently. The camera switches to the Creeper, Pocket Medic in hand, with a confused Wheatley, and a panicked Vince.]

Vince: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Lambert: Jesus Christ, Fisher! I told you no kills! I'm pulling the plug, mission over!

---------------------------------------
MISSION IMPOSSIBLE: SANDVICH PROTOCAL
---------------------------------------

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Creeper pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh.] He's Vince's Mother! Watch, he'll turn green any second now..."

[The Creeper and Wheatley approach the dead Spy, with The Creeper prodding Atticus Finch's foot with his Pocket Medic.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Green! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell's vomit."

[The Vince lingers behind, his boi faic sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the Sentry he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron, who starts screaming in German and doing some sort of satanic ritual which involves fapping to a cadaver.]

Wheatley: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this a**hole?"

Atticus Finch: "Die, monster! You don't belong in this map!"

[The "♥♥♥♥ you, Bronies" ending flourish music plays, with the f**king of the Creeper and Wheatley punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Rick Roll plays]

[Fade to the scattered venn diagrams of Atticus Finch's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Atticus Finch:Ahh...now to f*ck Bill, Francis, Louis, and Zoey."

[Atticus Finch walks off with rabid weasels in his pants.]

[Domo-Nator]

Signs illuminate on an invisible TARDIS: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'Up Your ♥♥♥'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching your neighbors kids]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is up my ♥♥♥!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Creeper reaches from off-screen and pulls a Pocket Medic off a rack of seal masks. Cut to the Creeper dashing down the stairs and through a DnD Clubroom while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

GLaDOS: "Protect the Pizza Box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the Pizza Box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Vince trying to open the code-locked 'Dungeon Master' door]

Vince: "Need a cupcake here!"

[The Creeper shoots the Vince and begins to count how many times he masturbated that day.]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got AIDS. Stand back, son. 2, 5, 3, uhh... 9!"

Vince: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Wheatley comes around the corner, Banana in-hand, charging towards the Vince and Creeper]

Wheatley: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

Wheatley penetrates the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into Pizza Box Room. The Vince reaches the desk to discover Pizza Box is perfectly safe.]

Vince: [while screaming, he notices Pizza Box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still hot!"

Wheatley: "AAAAA...alright then".

Atticus Finch: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the RED zombie, with Robin Walker's corpse over one shoulder.]

Atticus Finch: "Mentlegen."

['Dungeon Master' Title Card]

[Cut back to Atticus Finch, carrying Robin Walker's body towards the desk.]

Atticus Finch: "I see the Pizza Box is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is my relationship, mm-hmm."

Vince: "Yeah, it is!"

Atticus Finch: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Justin Bieber on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their wieners and shrug]

Atticus Finch: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits Robin Walker's body on the desk, revealing a sentry in his Tower of Hats.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Vince approaches and attaches a radioactive sandvich to the sentry.]

Vince: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-scratching scumbags - like Republicans!"

[Donald Trump attempts to manipulate the U.S. economy like Obama, only to find his hair tipping over and drops it.]

Vince: "Ow! No offense."

Atticus Finch: "Your words are as empty as your inventory, and I assure you they were not like Britney Spears.. Atticus Finch deftly Saps the sentry and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Vince.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Vince: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Wheatley: (arm-wrestling)

Atticus Finch turns to r*pe the Vince.]

Atticus Finch: "No... that would be my father!"

[Atticus Finch reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising venn diagrams of the RED Spy and his Father.]

Vince: [stammers out of shock and constipation]

Atticus Finch: Indeed, and now he's here to lecture us! So listen up boy, or essays written by my father will be the first best thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Creeper and Wheatley examine the balls. The Wheatley leans over and slaps the Creeper silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Vince frantically retrieves the venn diagrams as Atticus Finch lights and smokes a crocket in the foreground.]

Vince: "Gimme dat ♥♥♥ so i can ♥♥♥♥ the Pancakes"

Atticus Finch: "Zis White man has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to Atticus Finch, creeping through the BLU Team's Anuses.. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Toyota Prius with Matt Damon. He slides a Vince's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Toyota Prius immediately]

Matt Damon: "nwod suirP atoyoT!"

[Matt Damon throws his pants down and frantically reaches for his cellphone, only to have Atticus Finch shoot him in the head with the Fuel Rod Gun. Dead Matt Damon crashes through a door and Atticus Finch steps over him and fires at John F. Kennedy.

[Cut back to the BLU Pizza Box Room. Atticus Finch leans over the dead Robin Walker, flipping off the corpse wildly in hopes of resurrection.]

Atticus Finch: "You've seen what he's done to trolls!"

[Flash back to Robin Walker, now alive and fapping in a dusty attic. Atticus Finch creeps up on him and steps on a Madame Dixie, alerting Robin Walker who engages him with the rest of his hats. A struggle ensues, and Robin is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to Dungeon Master Room]

Atticus Finch: "And worst of all, he likes to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the Atticus Finch fighting a ♥♥♥♥, armed with a big, black di!do.]

Adolf Hitler: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

Atticus Finch eats Hitler's di**, disarming him. Close-up on Atticus Finch's face as he disguises as Adolf, sans testicles.]

Adolf Hitler: (Dances eroticly.)

[Atticus Finch kills Adolf Hitler with a well-placed chop to the a** , knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to the Dungeon Master's room. Atticus Finch looks frantic.]

Atticus Finch: "He could be in this very room! He could be Vince's Father!! He could be Valve's president! He could even be-"

[Atticus Finch is cut off as his head gets sucked into the Pizza Box violently. The camera switches to the Creeper, Pocket Medic in hand, with a confused Wheatley, and a panicked Vince.]

Vince: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Lambert: Jesus Christ, Fisher! I told you no kills! I'm pulling the plug, mission over!

---------------------------------------
MISSION IMPOSSIBLE: SANDVICH PROTOCAL
---------------------------------------

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Creeper pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh.] He's Vince's Mother! Watch, he'll turn green any second now..."

[The Creeper and Wheatley approach the dead Atticus Finch, with The Creeper prodding Atticus Finch's foot with his Pocket Medic.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Green! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell's vomit."

[The Vince lingers behind, his boi faic sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the Sentry he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron, who starts screaming in German and doing some sort of satanic ritual which involves fapping to a cadaver.]

Wheatley: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this a**hole?"

Atticus Finch: "Die, monster! You don't belong in this map!"

[The "♥♥♥♥ you, Bronies" ending flourish music plays, with the f**king of the Creeper and Wheatley punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Rick Roll plays]

[Fade to the scattered venn diagrams of Atticus Finch's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Atticus Finch:Ahh...now to f*ck Bill, Francis, Louis, and Zoey."

[Atticus Finch walks off with rabid weasels in his pants.]

[lolzorz]

Signs illuminate on an invisible TARDIS: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'Up Your ♥♥♥'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching your neighbors kids]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is up my ♥♥♥!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Creeper reaches from off-screen and pulls a Pocket Medic off a rack of seal masks. Cut to the Creeper dashing down the stairs and through a DnD Clubroom while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

GLaDOS: "Protect the Pizza Box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the Pizza Box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Vince trying to open the code-locked 'Dungeon Master' door]

Vince: "Need a cupcake here!"

[The Creeper shoots the Vince and begins to count how many times he masturbated that day.]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got AIDS. Stand back, son. 2, 5, 3, uhh... 9!"

Vince: Let's go, let's go-



Wheatley: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

Wheatley penetrates the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into Pizza Box Room. The Vince reaches the desk to discover Pizza Box is perfectly safe.]

Vince: [while screaming, he notices Pizza Box] "AAAAAHHHH- Hey, it's still hot!"

Wheatley: "AAAAA...alright then".

Atticus Finch: "Ahem."

[Camera zooms in to reveal the RED zombie, with Robin Walker's corpse over one shoulder.]

Atticus Finch: "Mentlegen."

['Dungeon Master' Title Card]

[Cut back to Atticus Finch, carrying Robin Walker's body towards the desk.]

Atticus Finch: "I see the Pizza Box is safe, Mentlegen."

Creeper: "And so is my relationship, mm-hmm."

Vince: "Yeah, it is!"

Atticus Finch: "Tell me... did anyone happen to kill Justin Bieber on the way here?"

[The other three BLUs shake their wieners and shrug]

Atticus Finch: No? Then we still have a pie.

[He deposits Robin Walker's body on the desk, revealing a sentry in his Tower of Hats.]

Creeper: "...and a Cake."

[The Vince approaches and attaches a radioactive sandvich to the sentry.]

Vince: "Oooh, big problem. I've killed plenty of spies; they're dime-a-dozen back-scratching scumbags - like Republicans!"

[Donald Trump attempts to manipulate the U.S. economy like Obama, only to find his hair tipping over and drops it.]

Vince: "Ow! No offense."

Atticus Finch: "Your words are as empty as your inventory, and I assure you they were not like Britney Spears.. Atticus Finch deftly Saps the sentry and flicks it shut, handing it back to the Vince.] And mankind ill need a savior such as the pootis loose inside this biulding."

Vince: "What're you? President of Djibouti?"

Creeper & Wheatley: (arm-wrestling)

Atticus Finch turns to r*pe the Vince.]

Atticus Finch: "No... that would be my father!"

[Atticus Finch reveals a folder and slaps it down on the table, revealing several compromising venn diagrams of the RED Spy and his Father.]

Vince: [stammers out of shock and constipation]

Atticus Finch: Indeed, and now he's here to lecture us! So listen up boy, or essays written by my father will be the first best thing that happens to me today."

['Always' by Erasure plays]

[The Creeper and Wheatley examine the balls. The Wheatley leans over and slaps the Creeper silly.]

Creeper: Oh!

[The Vince frantically retrieves the venn diagrams as Atticus Finch lights and smokes a crocket in the foreground.]

Vince: "Gimme dat ♥♥♥ so i can ♥♥♥♥ the Pancakes"

Atticus Finch: "Zis White man has already breached our anuses..."

[Fade to Atticus Finch, creeping through the BLU Team's Anuses.. He pauses at a corner, as the camera pulls back to reveal a BLU Level 3 Toyota Prius with Matt Damon. He slides a Vince's mother across the floor, disarming and destroying the Toyota Prius immediately]

Matt Damon: "nwod suirP atoyoT!"

[Matt Damon throws his pants down and frantically reaches for his cellphone, only to have Atticus Finch shoot him in the head with the Fuel Rod Gun. Dead Matt Damon crashes through a door and Atticus Finch steps over him and fires at John F. Kennedy.

[Cut back to the BLU Pizza Box Room. Atticus Finch leans over the dead Robin Walker, flipping off the corpse wildly in hopes of resurrection.]

Atticus Finch: "You've seen what he's done to trolls!"

[Flash back to Robin Walker, now alive and fapping in a dusty attic. Atticus Finch creeps up on him and steps on a Madame Dixie, alerting Robin Walker who engages him with the rest of his hats. A struggle ensues, and Robin is ultimately facestabbed.]

[Cut back to Dungeon Master Room]

Atticus Finch: "And worst of all, he likes to play with dolls!"

[Fade to the Atticus Finch fighting a ♥♥♥♥, armed with a big, black di!do.]

Adolf Hitler: "Raus, raus!(Out! Out!)"

Atticus Finch eats Hitler's di**, disarming him. Close-up on Atticus Finch's face as he disguises as Adolf, sans testicles.]

Adolf Hitler: (Dances eroticly.)

[Atticus Finch kills Adolf Hitler with a well-placed chop to the a** , knocking off his testicles, which he catches and wears, completing his disguise.]

[Cut back to the Dungeon Master's room. Atticus Finch looks frantic.]

Atticus Finch: "He could be in this very room! He could be Vince's Father!! He could be Valve's president! He could even be-"

[Atticus Finch is cut off as his head gets sucked into the Pizza Box violently. The camera switches to the Creeper, Pocket Medic in hand, with a confused Wheatley, and a panicked Vince.]

Vince: "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

Lambert: Jesus Christ, Fisher! I told you no kills! I'm pulling the plug, mission over!

---------------------------------------
MISSION IMPOSSIBLE: SANDVICH PROTOCAL
---------------------------------------

Creeper: "What? It was obvious! [The Creeper pumps it (louder) pumps it (louder) and says oh, oh, oh oh.] He's Vince's Mother! Watch, he'll turn green any second now..."

[The Creeper and Wheatley approach the dead Atticus Finch, with The Creeper prodding Atticus Finch's foot with his Pocket Medic.]

Creeper: "Any second now... See? Green! Oh, wait...that's Gabe Newell's vomit."

[The Vince lingers behind, his boi faic sinister. He approaches the Creeper and Heavy, retrieving the Sentry he pocketed earlier, and flicking it open easily. As he approaches, he flickers and melts, revealing himself to be the RED Baron, who starts screaming in German and doing some sort of satanic ritual which involves fapping to a cadaver.]

Wheatley: "So, we still got cake..."

Creeper: "Big cake... alright, who's ready to go find this a**hole?"

Atticus Finch: "Die, monster! You don't belong in this map!"

[The "[B]Transformers: The Original Series" ending flourish music plays, with the f**king of the Creeper and Wheatley punctuating the beat of the tune.]

[Rick Roll plays]

[Fade to the scattered venn diagrams of Atticus Finch's Father. The RED Francis retrieves one of them and smiles wistfully.]

Atticus Finch:Ahh...now to f*ck Bill, Francis, Louis, and Zoey."

[Atticus Finch walks off with rabid weasels in his pants.]

[Argeon]

Signs illuminate on an invisible TARDIS: "Intruder Alert', 'Painis Cupcake' and 'Up Your ♥♥♥'; Pull out to reveal the BLU Creeper watching your neighbors kids]

Creeper: "Painis Cupcake is up my ♥♥♥!?"

["Never Gonna Give You Up" begins to play. The Creeper reaches from off-screen and pulls a Pocket Medic off a rack of seal masks. Cut to the Creeper dashing down the stairs and through a DnD Clubroom while saying "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" with every step he takes]

GLaDOS: "Protect the Pizza Box!"

Creeper: "We need to protect the Pizza Box!"

[Camera pans to reveal the BLU Vince trying to open the code-locked 'Dungeon Master' door]

Vince: "Need a cupcake here!"

[The Creeper shoots the Vince and begins to count how many times he masturbated that day.]

Creeper: "All right, all right, I got AIDS. Stand back, son. 2, 5, 3, uhh... 9!"

Vince: Let's go, let's go-

[BLU Wheatley comes around the corner, Banana in-hand, charging towards the Vince and Creeper]

Wheatley: "MY PAINIS HURTS!"

Wheatley penetrates the door, destroying it. The three of them are sent tumbling and screaming into Pizza Box Room. The Vince reaches the desk to discover Pizza Box is perfect