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View Full Version : Survivors should be in couture


junsumoney1@gma
02-26-2011, 05:37 PM
I'm tired of looking at these peasants injure my eyes with their drab and impotent clothings. These commoners are monstrosity to fashion, the living art, and must go through metamorphosis. Enough with the transient middle-class mass produced dilly-dally of the bourgeoisie, let's see Armani Fentoine's latest winter-solstice collection in this game.

Ellis can be dressed in the silk-corrugated hat with microscopic acid-dyed feathers lining the seams, and wear a stunning leather jacket that was made from one-hour old calfs that were immediately frozen and cut with potassiums. His shoes are resplendently designed, showing the eclat of modern fashion, their kaleidoscopic colors saturating his life.

Nick can pour into a stunning $10,000 suit made by Polynesian kids that were specifically genetically designed to make 1000 cross-stitches in one square inch of fabric. His $20,000 suit can't be wrinkled or folded due to tiny keratin fibers that line the fabric, so those Tank punches won't do anything. In addition, his $30,000 suit is permeable to blood.

Coach and Rochelle can die since they're ugly. Their imperfect skin and chin lines will only depreciate the clothings.

EDIT: Actually, fat and ugly people wear couture. They don't have to have -5% body fat or inject their bone marrows with collagen and phosphorous.

So for Coach, he shall wear a tight corset made specifically for pregnant models, and the corset will be reinforced by malleable metal ripped from the turgid hull of the Titanic. Over the corset, he can wear a Hugo Boss Boss Edition corporate shirt with pure gold lining the seams. The buttons will be undone to create a sensuous v-neck aesthetic, and the neck folds shall be frayed by teething Filipino babies to create an image of a nonchalant rebel. For his legs, he shall a wear a body reinforcing shaper that pricks the skin if it touches the shaper. The eventual blood streaming down the shaper will help create a gradient at the bottom of the white jean with plant roots stitched into the fabric to help the blood go up through capillary action. In short, the cuff of the jean will be red and the red will fade into white as it goes up.

Rochelle shall wear a dark, strong purple blouse made from silk of the black widows in Mt. Fuji's volcanoes. The strong metallic gases that surround the silk will give it a shiny glint and strong hue that is undeniably purple. The neck of the blouse will droop at a careful angle to reveal some skin yet not show too much skin. In order to complement this, there will be an extremely thin chain of pearl stolen from the Titanic. The sleeve of the blouse will have floral designs and will be slightly larger than the wrist so it's neither tight or loose. The blouse will only reach only an inch above the waist. A magnificent dress made of tiny triangles of different shades of green will go inside the blouse, and will be held by trimmed fur belt ripped from animals adopted at PETA shelters. The dress will reach slightly below the knees. She will wear a high heel shoes with its heel made of crystallized amber fossils. She will take off her ear rings and will instead wear a GUCCI sunglass that is indistinguishable from a Wal-Mart plastic sunglass.

DWilliams2446
02-26-2011, 06:12 PM
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I don't know what's funnier: that you came up with that, that it's very subtly racist, or that I think Nick would look awesome in true couture.

Plus, I just want to hear Ellis pronounce couture now.

AjBastian27
02-26-2011, 06:27 PM
Coach and Rochelle can die since they're ugly. Their imperfect skin and chin lines will only depreciate the clothings.

your messed up, even if this was a joke it's not funny. my lack of respect for you by your unintelligent posts in these forums has only decreased because of this stupidly and ur lack of common sense.

The fact that you have gained any reputation stumps me.

TheCombatMedic
02-26-2011, 06:34 PM
Or maybe he's just trolling for the attention?

junsumoney1@gma
02-26-2011, 06:36 PM
your messed up, even if this was a joke it's not funny. my lack of respect for you by your unintelligent posts in these forums has only decreased because of this stupidly and ur lack of common sense.

The fact that you have gained any reputation stumps me.

Fashion is not a joke! Have you seen their non-foliated, non-embrocated, scratchy skin? It's a travesty that no Dove ad campaign can cure. Don't you get sassy with me!

081XxhephexX180
02-26-2011, 07:29 PM
Fashion is not a joke! Have you seen their non-foliated, non-embrocated, scratchy skin? It's a travesty that no Dove ad campaign can cure. Don't you get sassy with me!

Oh, poor boy... :rolleyes:

No_wander_off
02-26-2011, 09:09 PM
YAY! sarcasm :D

The_insane_3004
02-26-2011, 11:07 PM
Your joking right?...

I would say something but I don't think your worth it

bblasphemous
02-27-2011, 08:37 AM
It's as likely to happen as anything else posted here so

>AWESOMENAME<
02-27-2011, 11:38 AM
No. ree-ree idea. and oh, Nick HAS to be in a purple pimp uniform, not his regualr white one

Ceral4d
02-27-2011, 11:48 AM
It's as likely to happen as anything else posted here so

so true. "ideas" here are terribleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

ShovelyJoe
02-27-2011, 12:36 PM
Mine wuzn't

MyClam--
02-27-2011, 02:22 PM
I'm tired of looking at these peasants injure my eyes with their drab and impotent clothings. These commoners are monstrosity to fashion, the living art, and must go through metamorphosis. Enough with the transient middle-class mass produced dilly-dally of the bourgeoisie, let's see Armani Fentoine's latest winter-solstice collection in this game.

Ellis can be dressed in the silk-corrugated hat with microscopic acid-dyed feathers lining the seams, and wear a stunning leather jacket that was made from one-hour old calfs that were immediately frozen and cut with potassiums. His shoes are resplendently designed, showing the eclat of modern fashion, their kaleidoscopic colors saturating his life.

Nick can pour into a stunning $10,000 suit made by Polynesian kids that were specifically genetically designed to make 1000 cross-stitches in one square inch of fabric. His $20,000 suit can't be wrinkled or folded due to tiny keratin fibers that line the fabric, so those Tank punches won't do anything. In addition, his $30,000 suit is permeable to blood.

Coach and Rochelle can die since they're ugly. Their imperfect skin and chin lines will only depreciate the clothings.

if i can't see the microscopic feathers when valve adds this i'm starting a l4d2 boycott group

Razor118171
02-27-2011, 10:25 PM
Well, I think we all can agree the OP is one of those guys that watch too much Project Runway. And that he's a racist. And that he's also obnoxious. And that he fails at pretty much anything. Case closed.

zupalex
02-28-2011, 06:33 AM
I found his post really funny, indeed !

ryancee7
02-28-2011, 01:38 PM
Hey, you don't find overalls, with a nice yellow shirt, thats loaded with puke and dirt, and a one size fits all, fasionable blue trucker cap, and work boots to not be fasionable?

Not even Nick's swampy puked on white suit coat, with scratched, ripped, dirty dress shirt, and stunning white, also puked on swampy, greasy dirty suit pants, mixed with sorta combed hair thats not washed? to be fasionable?

I for one love these designs! They must be sold in a major designer outlet at once.

As for their skin and faces, nothin a bath and time won't fix, Or you can enjoy rockin' the "I was just ♥♥♥♥♥ by zombies clawing at my face" look.

And who shaves when you're a MAN!

Why not switch! Rochelle can wear Ellis' clothes, Ellis can wear Rochelle's, Coach can wear Nick's and Nick wears Coach's and come to think of it, I dunno if anyone should wear Rochelle's Clothes... :S

Psychological
02-28-2011, 04:02 PM
your messed up, even if this was a joke it's not funny. my lack of respect for you by your unintelligent posts in these forums has only decreased because of this stupidly and ur lack of common sense.

The fact that you have gained any reputation stumps me.

Dude, you've got a full qwerty/azerty keyboard, I know you do. So why complain about the lack of intelligence in one sentence then show a SEVERE lack of intelligence.

Oh, and humor isn't unintelligent, it's just a little unfeeling at times.

Honestly Aj, I've seen worst posts from you. Hell, I'VE made worst posts.

Laugh and move on.

>AWESOMENAME<
02-28-2011, 04:22 PM
Dude, you've got a full qwerty/azerty keyboard, I know you do. So why complain about the lack of intelligence in one sentence then show a SEVERE lack of intelligence.

Oh, and humor isn't unintelligent, it's just a little unfeeling at times.

Honestly Aj, I've seen worst posts from you. Hell, I'VE made worst posts.

Laugh and move on.

Hey, don't be hating in here. don't need any of that. wouldn't like it if someone made fun of you would you?

081XxhephexX180
03-01-2011, 04:57 PM
Dude, you've got a full qwerty/azerty keyboard, I know you do. So why complain about the lack of intelligence in one sentence then show a SEVERE lack of intelligence.

Oh, and humor isn't unintelligent, it's just a little unfeeling at times.

Honestly Aj, I've seen worst posts from you. Hell, I'VE made worst posts.

Laugh and move on.

Racism is not a laughing matter, so if you find that funny, you should feel embarrased.

AjBastian27
03-01-2011, 05:01 PM
Dude, you've got a full qwerty/azerty keyboard, I know you do. So why complain about the lack of intelligence in one sentence then show a SEVERE lack of intelligence.

Oh, and humor isn't unintelligent, it's just a little unfeeling at times.

Honestly Aj, I've seen worst posts from you. Hell, I'VE made worst posts.

Laugh and move on.

I'm going to be the adult in this situation and say...I enjoy raviolis.

FreneticSpeed
03-02-2011, 06:55 AM
oh lord, this is beautiful.

Karma Jockey
03-02-2011, 01:07 PM
And why did you think this was a good topic to post in a forum for only Cold Stream DLC related suggestions and feedback? Use the main Left 4 Dead 2 forum for this type of crap, ffs all these damn topics in this sub-forum have nothing to do with the Cold Stream DLC...

bloodfox1222
03-02-2011, 02:50 PM
Fashion is not a joke! Have you seen their non-foliated, non-embrocated, scratchy skin? It's a travesty that no Dove ad campaign can cure. Don't you get sassy with me!

This just proves you are gay.

Razor118171
03-02-2011, 09:15 PM
This just proves you are gay.

Well said, ol' bean, here, have a +REP.
:D

mike576
03-02-2011, 10:40 PM
And why did you think this was a good topic to post in a forum for only Cold Stream DLC related suggestions and feedback? Use the main Left 4 Dead 2 forum for this type of crap, ffs all these damn topics in this sub-forum have nothing to do with the Cold Stream DLC...

so please let us know what you think and what you would like to see in the DLC – just remember the constraints.

Quoted from the Cold Stream blog post. And this is obviously a troll thread.

junsumoney1@gma
03-03-2011, 12:03 AM
@mike576, I'm not trolling. I'm just parodying the "ideas" people suggested.
@bloodfox1222, no hate please.

Razor118171
03-03-2011, 12:56 AM
no hate please.

...aaand yet you hate the characters design, going even as far as to say Coach and Rochelle can die 'cuz they're black.
:p

junsumoney1@gma
03-03-2011, 05:52 AM
...aaand yet you hate the characters design, going even as far as to say Coach and Rochelle can die 'cuz they're black.
:p

Woah, I'm saying their skin quality is terrible, not talking about breed quality.
Coach is fat, so he's not a model. Rochelle is actually very pretty but people here think she's ugly because she doesn't meet their Rosie palm standards.

Psychological
03-03-2011, 01:45 PM
What he SAID

Coach and Rochelle can die since they're ugly. Their imperfect skin and chin lines will only depreciate the clothings.

Fashion is not a joke! Have you seen their non-foliated, non-embrocated, scratchy skin? It's a travesty that no Dove ad campaign can cure. Don't you get sassy with me!

What you all THINK he said

Coach and Rochelle can die since they are black and all non-whites are inferior to the master race of the pale ones! DOWN WITH THE EVIL WICKED ONES OF THE BLACK!

Karma Jockey
03-03-2011, 01:50 PM
@mike576, I'm not trolling. I'm just parodying the "ideas" people suggested.
@bloodfox1222, no hate please.

But this isn't the sub-forum for these kinds of threads either...

Razor118171
03-04-2011, 04:10 AM
Coach is fat, so he's not a model.

Oh, so now he's ugly 'cuz he's fat? I've seen people that model, and they ain't exactly thin or ugly. Dude, maybe it's best if you shut up 'cuz you're only digging yourself deeper.

Thingy Person
03-04-2011, 04:24 AM
I love how people are offended. Too stupid for satire I guess?

+rep anyway.

Razor118171
03-04-2011, 04:38 AM
I love how people are offended. Too stupid for satire I guess?

I'm not offended, I'm just amazed at how his views are so shallow and how he thinks beauty is only skin-deep.

junsumoney1@gma
03-04-2011, 05:50 AM
Oh, so now he's ugly 'cuz he's fat? Did I say that?I've seen people that model, and they ain't exactly thin or ugly. Good for you? Dude, maybe it's best if you shut up No.

Go read some Onion articles.

Thingy Person
03-04-2011, 06:07 AM
I'm not offended, I'm just amazed at how his views are so shallow and how he thinks beauty is only skin-deep.

^Too stupid for satire.

JELLYHEAD
03-11-2011, 09:25 PM
I applaud your very well thought out ideas however I'd love to see the black peoples in some glamorous clothes too, perhaps you ought to make this a mod.

Green Walruses
03-12-2011, 12:48 PM
I'm tired of looking at these peasants injure my eyes with their drab and impotent clothings. These commoners are monstrosity to fashion, the living art, and must go through metamorphosis. Enough with the transient middle-class mass produced dilly-dally of the bourgeoisie, let's see Armani Fentoine's latest winter-solstice collection in this game.

Ellis can be dressed in the silk-corrugated hat with microscopic acid-dyed feathers lining the seams, and wear a stunning leather jacket that was made from one-hour old calfs that were immediately frozen and cut with potassiums. His shoes are resplendently designed, showing the eclat of modern fashion, their kaleidoscopic colors saturating his life.

Nick can pour into a stunning $10,000 suit made by Polynesian kids that were specifically genetically designed to make 1000 cross-stitches in one square inch of fabric. His $20,000 suit can't be wrinkled or folded due to tiny keratin fibers that line the fabric, so those Tank punches won't do anything. In addition, his $30,000 suit is permeable to blood.

Coach and Rochelle can die since they're ugly. Their imperfect skin and chin lines will only depreciate the clothings.


Troll thread is troll.

First off, during fricking a ZOMBIE INVASION, I wouldn't care about what 3 other people thought of my clothes, we are ALL DIEING AND BLOODSTAINED.
Survivors dont have time to go shopping.

Psychological
03-12-2011, 04:09 PM
Troll thread is troll.

First off, during fricking a ZOMBIE INVASION, I wouldn't care about what 3 other people thought of my clothes, we are ALL DIEING AND BLOODSTAINED.
Survivors dont have time to go shopping.

I'll say this slowly for you.

THAT. IS. THE. JOKE. YOU. STUPID. ♥♥♥♥ING. ♥♥♥♥♥♥.

Green Walruses
03-12-2011, 10:13 PM
I'll say this slowly for you.

THAT. IS. THE. JOKE. YOU. STUPID. ♥♥♥♥ING. ♥♥♥♥♥♥.

Ill say this slowly for you:

WHY. POST. THIS. IN. COLD. STREAM. THEN?

Because it was, I thought he was serious.
I've seen 2 threads like this before.
And they were fo realz to the street broz.

Psychological
03-12-2011, 10:31 PM
Ill say this slowly for you:

WHY. POST. THIS. IN. COLD. STREAM. THEN?

Because it was, I thought he was serious.
I've seen 2 threads like this before.
And they were fo realz to the street broz.

If you want a satire joke, it has too look real yet be so ridiculous that people laugh.

So if it were a real suggestion for the new DLC, he would post it in the DLC forum. Then he just made it seem ridiculous, which you seem to have missed.

Now just let this thread die. It's trying really hard to, but everyone keeps finding a defib unit.