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View Full Version : Predict Valve's next promotion


Polycount
04-16-2011, 01:28 AM
Team Fortress 3 Announced, however to unlock it you must convince everybody to delete all of their hats. As long as a single hat remains, the game will not be unlocked.


Episode 3 Announced, however to unlock it you must go three days in a row without food.


DOTA 2 Announced, however to unlock it you must find Gabe Newell a soulmate.

teddster771
04-16-2011, 01:29 AM
Portal 2 announced, however it is delayed because of the trolls like the person posting this thread.

Idiot Cube
04-16-2011, 01:30 AM
Gabe agrees to lose 300 pounds, but he demands the firstborn children of anyone who has ever used Steam or any other Valve product.

DeceptionUSAF
04-16-2011, 01:30 AM
Portal 3 announced, however to unlock it no one can play Portal 2 for a year.

Ctu
04-16-2011, 01:51 AM
Half life 2 Episode 3, but every HL player would have to kill a combined total of ~10 billion combine solders

jglitch
04-16-2011, 02:06 AM
Hand in a box everytime they announce a sequel or something you are hyped for it slaps you in the cack

sleazymole
04-16-2011, 02:07 AM
CS:S2 preload starts, but everyone has to idle in tf2 for not apparent reson... hang on.. that sounds familiar.

Acylus
04-16-2011, 02:08 AM
1. LOL PORTAL 3, TF3 and CSS2.

2. Even though I think this may fail, you guys are just making it seem sad.

Aspic
04-16-2011, 02:11 AM
Episode 3 not announced. To unlock it you must wait at least a decade

Sebi3000
04-16-2011, 02:12 AM
Don't give them any ideas! I bet the marketing guys are already taking notes! Damn you, marketing guys!

Tobi2392
04-16-2011, 02:15 AM
Half life 2 Episode 3, but every HL player would have to kill a combined total of ~10 billion combine solders

Done*

zarrten
04-16-2011, 02:17 AM
episode 3 announced,to unlock it you must buy every half life game on steam to boost Gordon Freeman's self esteem. currently he's stuck in lamarr's old box with his crowbar and refusing to come out.

themordred
04-16-2011, 02:18 AM
Those are all bad marketing schemes since they don't give VALVe any more money they already have.

McMasterGold
04-16-2011, 02:34 AM
Half-Life 2: Episode 3 announced, however to unlock it, you must buy the Valve Complete Pack and gift all your extra copies to non-friends.

filipus1000
04-16-2011, 02:38 AM
DOTA 2 Announced, however to unlock it you must find Gabe Newell a soulmate.
Gabe is married and has 2 kids.

Kurushi
04-16-2011, 02:55 AM
The boxed copy of L4D3 will be covered in human flesh that can only be broken down with human saliva. True story.

w0oper
04-16-2011, 02:55 AM
Gabe is married and has 2 kids.

Not relevant to troll science :D

Kuroimaho
04-16-2011, 03:00 AM
Episode 3 Announced, however to unlock it you must go three days in a row without food.

Episode 3 is already out thanks to Valve's new episodic game development which allows them to deliver games faster... :D Well at least it worked with the crappy EP1...

Shirokurules
04-16-2011, 03:19 AM
This would actually be impossible, as users who quit PC gaming
still have their items in tf2. but never go on their account

DIENER
04-16-2011, 03:27 AM
Half life 2 Episode 3, but to unlock it no one is allowed to do a Gabe is fat joke for one whole year.

real4xor
04-16-2011, 03:57 AM
Meh, who cares about that next promotion, it`ll only be available on PS3.

Crash Pilot
04-16-2011, 04:25 AM
Episode 3 is finished. To commemorate the occasion, we need to take a train ride back to City 17. But all the trains have been destroyed. We must donate a train by buying Railworks 2 and DLC. Once 500,000 trains have been donated, Episode 3 will unlock.

kaydee
04-16-2011, 02:05 PM
EP3 announced.

You must own all previous HL games and seen the endings. - Valve puts every HL titles (except EP3) in a package priced at around 39~49USD. You can NOT purchase each games seperatly.

OR unrealistic one:

You and your steam friends must NOT logon to Steam for 2 days.

Mrw
04-16-2011, 03:01 PM
DOTA2/Episode3/team fortress 3 announced, however to unlock it you must beat chuk norris in a roundhouse kick competition.

Lister
04-16-2011, 04:12 PM
Left 4 Dead 3 (UK edition)

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/39131/1301947873877.jpg :D

/dibs on the stig ;)

Larry1212
04-16-2011, 04:29 PM
DOTA 2 Announced, however to unlock it you must find Gabe Newell a soulmate.

Am I Doin' It Right?! ('http://www.bestmydreams.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/sex-doll-sexy-dream.jpg')

Lister
04-16-2011, 04:32 PM
Am I Doin' It Right?! ('http://www.bestmydreams.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/sex-doll-sexy-dream.jpg')

NO D: (http://dl.dropbox.com/u/39131/1302816543161.jpg)

Moosedog
04-16-2011, 04:33 PM
Lets dress up: Hats Announced, however to unlock it you must steal a hat from Robin Walker.

Flyingcow1103
04-16-2011, 04:34 PM
haha... nice thread.

pikachuu
04-16-2011, 06:00 PM
Counter-Strike 2 announced, however to unlock it you have to complete counter strike 1.6 and Source on hardest difficulty.

envirovore
04-16-2011, 08:02 PM
episode 3 announced,to unlock it you must buy every half life game on steam

Already done. Ep3 now please.

Episode 3 not announced. To unlock it you must wait at least a decade

Well, nearly half way there. Sounds plausible.

TheSagetEffect
04-16-2011, 08:22 PM
Yeah it's so dumb that they're going to delete all the games you bought for the promotion after Portal 2 releas...

Oh... wait... they're not. In fact, you'll keep the games and they'll go back up to a hundred something dollars total. It's almost as if it's a good deal to buy them now... *gasp*


:rolleyes:

envirovore
04-16-2011, 08:43 PM
Only game I purchased during this was AudioSurf, only other game that I would have purchased is Amnesia, and I got that last year.

Hmm...probably should be working on helping unlock Portal 2.

That being said, I think this whole Potato Sack deal, and the ARG were both brilliant. Some top notch Indie Devs get more recognition and sales. We got a neat little puzzle game spanning 13 games to decipher. As well as a chance to play Valves next game at least a day early, just by playing the games in the pack, even if you previously owned them.

Don't forget, Valve were a little unknown Indie company at one time as well. They just happened to have developed one hell of a launch title.

Arnold_Torres13
04-16-2011, 10:02 PM
Half Life 2: Episode 3 will be released early if you doubt El Dandy

(Wrestling fans will get a chuckle out of that one)

(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jZe6LvqQaVk)

Ihavenoidea
04-16-2011, 10:34 PM
Who knows, but I can guarantee there will be tie in hats for Team Fortress 2.

HerBDerb
04-16-2011, 11:10 PM
Pre-order Team Fortress 3, get exclusive Team Fortress 2 hat!

Blackops
04-17-2011, 12:11 AM
Gabe fat jokes hahahaha. Let me guess, you also use "Yo mamma" and "That's what she said".

Larry1212
04-17-2011, 05:22 AM
Gabe fat jokes hahahaha. Let me guess, you also use "Yo mamma" and "That's what she said".

That is what she said!

joeylawn
04-17-2011, 08:13 AM
.DOTA 2 Announced, however to unlock it you must find Gabe Newell a soulmate.

He already has one....