Favorite Quotes From Portal 2 [POSSIBLE SPOILERS]

[cha55son]

Hello all,

Since recently beating Portal 2 I have noticed a ton of great quotes in the game. So I would like to make a collection of everyones favorite quotes.

Heres how this is gonna work
1. List who says the quote
2. Where the quote is said
3. Finally the quote

I'll go first.

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Defective Turret: Turret testing room (with mannequin) - "Shooting blanks all the time.. Every time.."
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P.S. I havent played co-op yet (waiting on a friend) so list those if there are any.

[Samberoony]

We all know who: IM IN SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!!!

[lexuss6]

GLaDOS: You're not just a regular moron. You DISIGNED to be a moron!

[TheMightyWolf]

GLaDOS: TAKE THE LEMONS! YES TAKE THE LEMONS. OOOH.

---^ I hope someone found this one, cause i laughed like hell when she says it.

[subsist]

GLaDOS: TAKE THE LEMONS! YES TAKE THE LEMONS. OOOH.

---^ I hope someone found this one, cause i laughed like hell when she says it.


Rofl, I laughed my ♥♥♥ off the whole speech where she is cheering him on in the background, yeah, burn them! kill, them! take the lemons!

[Fenolio]

Deploying Surprise in 3....2....1...
Surprise!
I made it all up.
*Party Whistle*

[ifvracer]

I'M A POTATOE!

[Kriskid]

Pre-recorded Male voice: If the laws of physics don't apply in the future, then god help you.
loved the post-apocalyptic messages at the start

I haven't played co-op either? (was this what you meant)

[TheMightyWolf]

Rofl, I laughed my ♥♥♥ off the whole speech where she is cheering him on in the background, yeah, burn them! kill, them! take the lemons!

I think she's getting off when he talks about lemons xD

[Chief_Hanak]

Glados: "Oh, the turbines again. I'll be right back - oh, wait. This chamber DOES need some explanation, i'll give you the fast version: *extremely fast speech* -there. Just remember what I said in slow motion."

[LaDuelo]

Turret: "I'm different"

;_;

[TheMightyWolf]

Companion cube:

[Kalado]

"im different..." companion cube, sry im breaking up with you.

[TD5160]

Cave Johnson: When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take back the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons! What the hell are these?! Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! WITH THE LEMONS! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that BURNS YOUR HOUSE DOWN!

Love that whole rant

[Skunky]

Glados: "Oh, the turbines again. I'll be right back - oh, wait. This chamber DOES need some explanation, i'll give you the fast version: *extremely fast speech* -there. Just remember what I said in slow motion."

I want to hear the slow motion...

[FearTheTrauma]

Pre-recorded Male voice: If the laws of physics don't apply in the future, then god help you.

This, an infinite amount of times over.

Made me giggle, Cave Johnson, you are a genius.

[Chief_Hanak]

I want to hear the slow motion...

ME TOO! Dude what if iTs like an easter egg or something...;D

[zarrten]

Cave Johnson: Say goodbye, Caroline!
Caroline: Goodbye Caroline!

made me laugh alot, even though it's a predictable joke..

[GentleBeing]

"I absolutely guarantee one hundred percent that its this way!"

"..Nah, its not that way"

[DirectVic]

"Hello! This is the part where I kill you."

"AND I'M A POTATO."

"Spinny-blade-wall! Machiavellian."

[cha55son]

Cave Johnson is the best!!

Cave Johnson: "Were not banging rocks together here, we know how to put a person back together"

lol so good. Someone grab the entire quote. please and thank you.

[Flamma Man]

"When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take back the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons! What the hell are these?! Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! WITH THE LEMONS! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that BURNS YOUR HOUSE DOWN!"

Greatest rant of a crazed man on the last legs of his poor and sad career.

It actually made me sad.

[Lord Vader]

I love most all of Wheatly's ranting on and on about the most simple thing. Like "How long can I draw this out, without pissing everyone off."

[Francis_4_Dead]

BIRD! BIRD! BIRD!

IT'S EVIL

[BoViking]

"Oh this feels so great, we can walk anywhere we want without having to be attached to some railing! Hmm, where should we go? Let's just follow the railing I guess..."

I laughed at that, it kind of reflected on what happends when we actually receive the freedom we want.

Also I'M IN SPACE.

[GHudston]

Am I allowed to say "every line in the whole damn game"?

[system_ghost]

Wheatly is great.
"I'm going to attempt a manual override on this wall."

[Mincegamer]

Do you think you can take off one of those Long Fall Boots of yours and stuff me into it? Just remember to land on one foot.

[Forsaken Bacon]

"Let there be light!".
"That's uh, God. That's quoting God"

[oldeskoolfan]

Anything by Cave Johnson. Just anything.
I'm prone to believing that the man can make being shot in the gut with a shotgun sound like fun.

[Raden64]

We all know who: IM IN SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!!!

Yeah hand down my fav!

[Damundio]

GLaDOS: Look how majestically you soar through the air. Like an eagle. Piloting a blimp.

[Hawky]

I cant remember the exact words but when GLaDOS phones your parents and its just her saying they dont love you enough, that made me laugh out loud.

[Raden64]

"I absolutely guarantee one hundred percent that its this way!"

"..Nah, its not that way"

this was a really good one too...

[Eevaia]

"Now you're thinking with stupidity."

[OktoberStorm]

After Wheatly mentions "Smelly humans" and is trying to redeem himself by musing on what he likes about people: "Your f-folklore and music". Cracked me up how hard he was trying ^^

[olly12345]

GLaDoS: Oh Good! My slow clap processor made it into this thing!

[Otto42]

I'M A POTATOE!

If you have watched the developer commentary at all, there's several places where they refer to her as "PotaDOS". :D

[JordanMS]

GLaDOS:YES! OOO! TAKE THE LEMONS!@!
LMAO
You gotta love her.

[kothfan19]

Turret: "I'm different"

;_;

oh yes, just had to save that one.

[GigaBowserX]

BIRD BIRD BIRD BIRD BIRD BIRD

[Sanbantai]

Wheatley: ok, uh, say apple.
*jump*
OK, that, uh, that was a jump...

He said that line SO perfectly XD

[CWHunt456]

"So, how are you holdIng up? Because in a potato!" :Clap Clap Clap:

[Neverseen]

"How have you been? Well, I'm a POTATO. *Clap clap clap*" (♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ NINJA)
"I believe that this is the part where he kills you. *Lands* 'And this is the part where I kill you!' *Gets a achievement 'This is the part where he kills you'"
Pretty much anything GLaDOS says to turn Atlas and P-Body against eachother
The ENTIRE ♥♥♥♥ING INTRO TO THE GAME (I seriously could not stop laughing at the beginning)

[CasualT2]

Adventure Core/"Rick"

Hey, lady, do you have a gun? Actually, nevermind, YOU hold the gun. I'll just use a knife. Do you have a knife? That's ok, I'll just distract him while you take care of it, pretty lady.

GlaDOS
I used to just test. I didn't get murdered, or get turned into a potato, or eaten by birds. None of that happened until YOU showed up.

Different Turret
I'm different ;_;

Wheatley
HAHAHA! DEATH TRAP... Are they killing you, stomp twice if you're alive, and, don't stomp obviously if you are dead... Maybe they learned how to use garettes, which is why it's so quiet... (later) Ah, they were the crap turrets weren't they...

[Disapproval]

Wheatley: OH MY GOD, SPACE. SERIOUSLY? WE'RE IN SPACE

[eezpz]

"Oh wait, she's a Medical Doctor with a PhD in fashion... from France."

[molkoback]

Warning! Neurotoxin pressure has reached dangerously unlethal levels.

[dur4n272]

"this test was made by one of our nobel prize winners, i don't know what he won the nobel prize for, but it wasn't for surviving neurotoxin..."

[Box Turret]

"89% of magic tricks are not magic. Technically they are sorcery." -Trivia Core

"At some point in their lives 1 in 6 children will be abducted by the dutch."-Trivia Core

Everything that core says is hilarious!

[Jonii]

*wooden door falls over*
GLaDOS: I can't believe you actually fell for that.

GLaDOS: This is the part where he kills us.
Wheatley: Hello! This is the part where I kill you!
CHAPTER 8: THE PART WHERE HE KILLS YOU
Achievement Unlocked: The Part Where He Kills You (This is that part.)

Wheatley: I'll have to hack this door. But I can't do it if you're watching.
(you turn around and immediately hear glass breaking)
Whearley: There we go, you can turn around now! All hacked.

[FreshHalibut]

I love Wheatley's speech when he's trying to convince you to kill yourself.

"Oh you came back? Uhh, Actually I hadn't planned for this... go ahead and jump into that pit right over there would you?"
"Your parents are down there! Your not adopted after all, I forgot to tell you."
"Lets see, there's a yacht, and boys, and a whole boyband down there!"
"Think of it not as a death trap, but as a death option!"

[mjvwolfe]

The defective turret testing area.

Template...
Hello.
Response...
Hello.
*passes*
Template...
Hello.
Response...
Heeeelo hello heeeeylo hellooo. *launched* AW COME ON!

[The HellJack]

GLaDOS: Most test subjects suffer from malnutrition from being in suspended animation that long. But you've actually managed to pack on a few pounds...

Wheatley: Simple. I just jammed the door mechanism with some bird eggs I found lying about. They were just sitting here and...~CAW CAW CAW~ BIRD BIRD BIRD AHHHHHHH!!!

And the point with the defective Arial Faith Plate where Wheatley returns. Every jump greets you with a quick snippit of Wheatley's amazing tale of survival. I had to pause the game I was laughing so damn hard.

[Liquid-Flame DK]

GLaDOS: This is the part where he kills us.
Wheatley: Hello! This is the part where I kill you!
CHAPTER 8: THE PART WHERE HE KILLS YOU
Achievement Unlocked: The Part Where He Kills You (This is that part.)

That was so epic.

GLaDOS: Most test subjects suffer from malnutrition from being in suspended animation that long. But you've actually managed to pack on a few pounds...

I was waaaay too practical thinking to even notice that was an insult. I thought she meant it as a compliment... I mean, come on now... That extra energy (loaded in fat) is a VERY GOOD THING when you are forced through the things you know you are going to be forced through.

[Jushiness]

GLaDoS: Oh Good! My slow clap processor made it into this thing!

*Clap . . . Clap *
Good that's still working.



Also

"Deploying smooth jazz in Three. . Two. . One. " * Jazz music *



Wheatley: Simple. I just jammed the door mechanism with some bird eggs I found lying about. They were just sitting here and...~CAW CAW CAW~ BIRD BIRD BIRD AHHHHHHH!!!



Thats the bird that laid the eggs innit! LIVID!

[Beholda]

"Deploying smooth jazz in Three. . Two. . One. " * Jazz music *
I actually enjoyed that smooth jazz, I wish it didn't just cut off.

[Crashproof]

"When you hear the buzzer, stare at the art."

"OK fine, let's all act like humans. Look at me. Boy, do I love sweating. Let's convert beef and leaves into energy and excrete them later and go shopping."

[ItsallGravy]

GLaDOS. Chapter 4, after fake suprise.
I feel awful about that suprise. Tell you what, let's give your parents a call right now!
*Phone ring* The birth parents you are trying to reach do not love you. Please hang up. *Dial tone*
Oh that's saaaad. But impressive. Maybe they worked at the phone company.

[Sir Vyval]

Announcer-ish Voice:
"WARNING. Neurotoxin levels dangerously un-lethal."

[Thirsts]

GLaDOS: Look at you, soaring majestically through the air. Like an eagle.

Piloting a blimp.

[Donkkill12]

This Sentence is FALSE! Don't think about it Don't think about it Don't think about it


(Glados)

[scarabD]

Saved turret from redemption in chapter 5:

"Prometheus was punished by the gods for giving the gift of knowledge to man. He was cast into the bowels of the earth and pecked by birds."

[Walex]

The Intelligence/Trivia Core (Core 3):
"Whales are twice as intelligent, and three times as delicious as humans."
"At some point in their lives, 1 in 6 children is abducted by the Dutch."

Pretty much any "fact" that core says is hilarious. I've died so many times just listening to him instead of attaching him to Wheatley.

Honorable mention goes to Wheatley's rationalization to try to convince you to jump back into his pit of death.

[Chucko815]

Everything the defective turrets said.

[OrangeNinja]

There is already a thread like this, but eh, wth, I'll post mine again.

Let me answer those questions with a question, who wants to make 60$? Cash. -Cave Johnson.

[Malvos]

I just started so I didn't want to read through all the quotes so it may have been posted but near the beginning: "We both said things you're going to regret."

[Pufje]

"She was a lot like you (maybe not quite as heavy)" - Ending song

[itkbiney]

I really don't know, there's too much.

Wheatley: I wish I could take it all back, I honestly do..... and not just cause I'm standed in space

The delivery is just brilliant. It's not my favorite but something I had on my mind right now. I really can't pick a favorite though.

another one I absolutely love is when you're jumping off that faith plate and you can't quite reach the ceiling and GLaDOS is like

GLaDOS: I'll add a few zeros to the maximum rate *beep beep pushing numbers* You look great by the way, very healthy.

[5pindizzy]

GlaDOS : These bridges are made from light filtered from the surface, if you pressed your cheek against one it feels just like the sun shining on your face, it will also set your hair on fire ...so don't actually do it.

[Lacoste.]

GLaDOS: I've already fixed it, and you're not coming back!

[iGluttony x]

Sign in Neurotoxin room:

IN CASE OF IMPLOSION
LOOK DIRECTLY AT IMPLOSION

[DKS_Gandalf]

GLaDOS: Well done. Here are the test results. "You are a horrible person". That's what it says. "Horrible person". We weren't even testing for that!

[meimeiriver]

GLaDOS, Propulsion Gel promo vid:

"We're a lot alike, you and I. You tested me, I tested you, You killed me, I- Oh no, wait. I guess I haven't killed you yet. Well, food for thought."

She says it in such a sensual way -- *shiver*

[gmoney340]

GLaDOS: I'M A POTATO!!!

[LiaCroft]

GLaDOS: "Ouuuuh, nooo, he's playing classical music"
It is funny while thinking that Ellen McLain is phrasing this! :)

GLaDOS: "Otherwise you become the immediate past president of the being alive club, haha."

GLaDOS: "Look, metal ball, I CAN hear you."

GLaDOS: "As long as I don't listen to what I am saying, I should be OK"

There are so many more...

[hezthet]

You guys missed the best one:

"Those of you who volunteered to be injected with praying mantis DNA,I've got some good news and some bad news. The bad news is we're postponing those tests indefinitely. The good news is we've got a much better test for you: fighting an army of Mantis Men. Pick a rifle and follow the yellow line. You'll know when the test starts."

[hahahehe]

Wheatley = "Finally an opponent worthy of my vast intellect, Holmes Vs Moriaty, Aristotle Vs Mashy Spike Plate"

[TWS composer]

Wheatley = "Finally an opponent worthy of my vast intellect, Holmes Vs Moriaty, Aristotle Vs Mashy Spike Plate"

Mine too.

I also like the following:
Heeelllllooooo. Iiiiimmmmmbbbbbeeeecccciiilllleeeeee-GLaDOS-coop.
And the whole part where Wheatley is foiled by his own crap turrets.

[TWS composer]

You guys missed the best one:

"Those of you who volunteered to be injected with praying mantis DNA,I've got some good news and some bad news. The bad news is we're postponing those tests indefinitely. The good news is we've got a much better test for you: fighting an army of Mantis Men. Pick a rifle and follow the yellow line. You'll know when the test starts."

That's another line I like.

[ZetaShade]

This next test *explosion* is *louder explosion* dangerous, I'll be right back.

Glorious freedom! I'm flying!

Is this thing on? *taps microphone* Hey, listen up down there! That's called an elevator, not a bathroom.

[AHUGEMUSHROOM]

Announcer-ish Voice:
"WARNING. Neurotoxin levels dangerously un-lethal."

<3 this one!

Im amazed that this thread hasn't just been spammed with spaaaaaace! :confused:

[LiaCroft]

This next test *explosion* is *louder explosion* dangerous, I'll be right back.

Yesss! I love this one, too!

[CWHunt456]

"I'm fiiiiiiiiiiiiiine!" and "I did everything you asked!"
The working turrets being tossed in the incinerator after you switch the template.

[minogusti]

This Sentence is FALSE! Don't think about it Don't think about it Don't think about it


(Glados)

I was going to say that one...
Also:

“Can you speak?"
<space> Speak
"Ok, what you just did there was jump"

and

"But, don't be alarmed, alright? Uh, although, d-do feel alarmed. Try to hold onto that feeling, because that is the proper reaction to being told that you've got brain damage!"

[iluvme4never]

Turret: Sabotaging the turret line - "I don't understaaand!"

[CMN56]

GLaDOS: While getting out of the underground: "AH! BIRD BIRD! KILL IT!! It's evil."

Wheatley: During the part when he kills you: "Well no matter. Because I'm STILL holding all the cards, and guess what? They're aallll full houses!"

Wheatley: During the part when he kills you: "Ace of fours! The best hand! Unbeatable, I imagine."

Wheatley: I think during the part when he kills you, or right before it: "Finally, a nemesis worthy of my vast intellect. Holmes vs Moriarty. Aristotle vs MASHY SPIKE PLATE!!!"

[Stric_Matic]

"OK fine, let's all act like humans. Look at me. Boy, do I love sweating. Let's convert beef and leaves into energy and excrete them later and go shopping."

Who's that quote from? And in which part? Must've missed it...

[absta101]

"Stick me right on it" (Wheatley)
"Sarcasm sult test complete" (Aperture voice)
"I realised I have this black box save feature that lets me review the last 2 minutes of my life... I was forced to re-live you killing me over and over again" (GLaDOS) someone correct this quote please...

[Zirrus]

I really love how GLaDOS says "Anyways, back to testing!"
after killing the door mainframe.

[Fullmetallt]

You are a moron they build to make me an idiot

[alienux]

Great work. Because this message is prerecorded, any observations related to your performance are speculation on our part. Please disregard any undeserved compliments.

[hawkshadow741]

"GAH! BIRD AGH! GET AWAY! BIIIIIRD"

[f12dude]

"I don't even have enough volts to lie to you"

[Idiot Cube]

Any advice the announcer gave about post-apocalyptic testing.

[MrtiansinUranus]

Wheatly, chapter nine

What was that? Did something just break back there? Oh! Did it kill you!?! Because that would be great if it killed you!

And my all time favorite, Wheatly, chapter 4 elevator ride.

"Ow! Wha-? No, you can't fire me for that Jerry! Well maybe your prejudice work place should have accommodated for a nano bot of my size. Thanks for the hate crime Jerr.

[TWS composer]

"interpreting vague answer as yes"

[Trepsik]

not exactly dialogue but the sign next to the neurotoxin tank.

"in case of implosion look directly at implosion." that put me in a fit. i read the sign when i walked in the room, plum forgot about it while solving the puzzle, started to walk away then turned back to watch the implosion. saw the sign again on my way out and about died.

[FunPika]

Part five! Boobytrap the stalemate button!

[hawkshadow741]

MASHY SPIKE PLATE

[Trina]

Cave Johnson: When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take back the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons! What the hell are these?! Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! WITH THE LEMONS! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that BURNS YOUR HOUSE DOWN!

Love that whole rantThis. The dialogue from Cave Johnson is my favorite. His 'when life gives you lemons' rant was the best.

Wheatley: "Could you just jump into that pit? There. That deadly pit."

"You're saying to yourself, why should I jump into the pit? I'll tell you why. Guess who's down there? Your parents! You're not adopted after all! It's your natural parents down there in the pit. Should have mentioned it before. But I didn't. So jump on down and reunite with mommy and daddy."

"Oh I'll tell you what's also down there. Your parents and.... There's also an escape elevator! Down there. Funny. I should have mentioned it before. But so it's down there. So pop down. Jump down. You've got your folks down there and an escape elevator."

"And what else is down there.... Tell you what, it's only a new jumpsuit. A very trendy designer jumpsuit from France. Down there. Which is exactly your size. And if it's a bit baggy, we've got a tailor down there as well who can take it in for you."

"What's this, a lovely handbag? And the three portal device! It's all down there!"

"Um. You've got a yacht. And.... Boys! Loads of fellas. Hunky guys down there. Possibly even a boyfriend! Who's to say at this stage. But, a lot of good looking fellas down there. And, ah, a boy band as well! That haven't seen a woman in years. And they're not picky at all. They don't care if you've got a bit of brain damage. If you've been running around sweating. And.... A farm! A pony farm! And.... Just jump down, would ya?"

[Ryan15000]

GLaDOS: Because I'm a potato. (Clap, clap, clap) Oh good. My slow clap processing unit made it in to this thing. So we have that.

You Know Who: Space. Spell it. S-P...ACE, SPACE.

Fact Core:
1) Humans can survive underwater, but not for very long.
2) If you have trouble with simple counting, use the following mnemonic device: One, comes before two, comes before sixty. Comes after twelve, comes before six-trillion, comes after five-hundred and four. This will make your earlier counting difficulties seem like no big deal.
3) Dreams are the subconscious mind's way of reminding people to go to school naked, and have their teeth fall out.

[Stimms]

Cave: I don't want your damn lemons what am I supposed to do with these!?!

Obviously: SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!

Wheatley: Ha! Was that your bullet riddled body flying out the room!?! It wa- ohhhhhhhhh those were the crap turrets.

Wheatley: Ah! Bird! Bird! Bird! Bird!

GlaDOS: Ah! Bird! Bird! Kill it! It's evil!

[Solarmech]

GlaDOS: Ah! Bird! Bird! Kill it! It's evil!

She is right! That bird is an agent of the G-Man! :eek: sm

[ThymeTiem486]

"Oooh! Ooh! Hi hi hi hi hi. Where we going? Where we going? Hey. Lady. Where we going? Where we going? Let's go to space!"

[JokersFlame]

Almost EVERY Wheatley line.

Space Core: I'm in space.

Wheatley: I know ya are mate!....yep....we're both in space.

------------------------------

Glados: BECAUSE I'M A POTATO!

[Snozzberrys]

Something Glados says after killing the companion cube you rescue at the end of the level with the broken emancipation grid.

"I think that one was about to say I love you. They are sentient of course, we just have a lot of them."

[tagadagat]

One of my favorites is from the "Meet The Bots" trailer where at the end, GLaDOS threatened, "Don't disappoint me, or I'll make you wish you could die."

Another of course is the charming little turret's "I'm different." plea. I love The Different Turret (http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Different-Turret/200411183331162).

[TeamMedic]

"When you hear the buzzer, stare at the art."

"OK fine, let's all act like humans. Look at me. Boy, do I love sweating. Let's convert beef and leaves into energy and excrete them later and go shopping."

where the hell was this?

[LiaCroft]

The fist one is right at the beginning of the game when you wake up in your relaxation vault.

The second I can't remember.

[Mr Rabbit]

In the first level with turrets, GLaDoS: You remember turrets, don't you? The pale round things that are full of bullets. Oh wait, that's you in five seconds.

[Kiyoka]

Announcer: SMooth jazz will be deployed in 3 2 1 *smooth jazz*

Cave: Say goobye Caroline!
Caroline: Goodbye Caroline :D

[Polendino]

where the hell was this?

It's one of GLaDOS's responses to a Co-op Team Gesture.

[Sparkpin]

------------------------------------------------------
Companion Cube - "mrowmrow mrow mrowmrow..."
------------------------------------------------------

[R36_9346]

Wheatley: Most test subjects do experience some cognitive deterioration after a few months in suspension. Now you've been under for... quite a lot longer, and it's not out of the question that you might have a very minor case of serious brain damage.

Announcer: Warning: Neurotoxin pressure has reached dangerously unlethal levels.

Announcer: Turret redemption lines are not rides, please exit the turret redemption line.

Cave Johnson: For many of you, I realize $60 is an unprecedented windfall, so don't go spending it all on... I don't know. Caroline, what do these people buy? Tattered hats? Beard dirt?

Wheatley: Oh! Yes. Well done.
GLaDOS: Thanks! All we had to do was pull that lever.
Wheatley: What? No, you pressed that bAGGGHHHHHH

Wheatley: You know, there are test subjects in Africa who don't even have monitors in their test chambers. Why don't you think of that before you break any more of them?

Fact Core: The Schrödinger's cat paradox outlines a situation in which a cat in a box must be considered, for all intents and purposes, simultaneously alive and dead. Schrödinger created this paradox as a justification for killing cats.

[Kit_Har]

GLaDOS, during testing: "Here come the test results: You are a horrible person... That's what it says. A horrible person. We weren't even testing for that."

My soul died a little inside XD

[MrtiansinUranus]

My favorite quote is in Portal 1

GLaDOS
final boss


"You think your doing some damage? Well your not. 2+2 IS....ten. IN BASE FOUR! I'M FINE!"

[Xemsiege]

I think this is at the start of Chp 3, The Return.

GLaDOS: Hmm. This Plate must not be calibrated to someone of your... generous... ness. I'll add a few zeros to the maximum weight. *calibrating sounds* You look great, by the way. Very healthy.


I don't know why the fat jokes make me laugh so hard XD

[JordanMS]

Oh hi.....So. How are holding up? Because I'M A POTATO.
-
I know things look bleak. But that crazy man down there was right. Let's NOT take these lemons! We're going to march RIGHT up there and MAKE him put me back into my body! And he'll probably kill us because he's incredibly powerful and I have no plan. Wow. I'm not going to lie to you, The odds are a million to one and THATS with some generous rounding. Still though, Lets get mad! If we're going to explode. Lets explode with some dignity!
-
BIRD BIRD BIRD! Kill it! It's EVIL!
-
The answer is beneath us. Her name is Caroline.
-
YEAH TAKE THE LEMONS! Burning people! He set the world THINKING!@

[TehNerdQueen]

"You're going to love it, to death. You're going to love it until you d-until it kills you."

Is it wrong that I think this line is sexy?

[Furyo]

Mine is equally the smooth jazz and the turret's "I'm different". I think they're the most expertly delivered of them all.

[inufalo]

I don't want your damn lemons.
And Dont make Lemonade :)

[Zekiran]

"I've come to a solution that will be good for one of both of us." (or words to that effect, I can't recall.) Even though she's being snarky as ever, GLaDOS manages to wedge in those confusing little twists that would confuse most folks.

[NeoEevee]

I adore and cherish every single quote there is. :D

[Jamesl2k5]

GLaDOS: I'M A POTATO!

lol the most epic quote ever:D

EDIT: oh and one more
"Cave Johnson: Alright, I've been thinking, when life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade!
GLaDOS: Yeah.
Cave Johnson: Make life take the lemons back!
GLaDOS: Yeah!
Cave Johnson: Get Mad!
GLaDOS: Yeah!
Cave Johnson: I don't want your damn lemons, what am I supposed to do with these?
GLaDOS: Yeah. take the lemons!
Cave Johnson: Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man whose gonna burn your house down... with the lemons!
GLaDOS: Oh, I like this guy.
Cave Johnson: I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that'll burn your house down.
GLaDOS: Burn it down! Burning people. He says what we're all thinking.
Cave Johnson: [sickly cough] The point is: if we can store music on a compact disk, why can't we store a man's inteligence and personality on one? So I have the engineers figuring that one out right now. Brain mapping, artificial inteligence... we should've been working on it thirty years ago. And I will say this, and I'm gonna say it on tape so everybody will hear it a hundred times a day: If I die before you people can pour me in to a computer, I want Caroline to run this place.
[another sickly cough]
Cave Johnson: Now she'll argue, she say she can't do it. She's modest like that. But you make her! Hell, put her in my computer, I don't care.
[another sickly cough]
Cave Johnson: Alright, test's over. You can head on back to your desk.
GLaDOS: Goodbye, sir."

[_NJD_]

"and methodically knocking people's hats off — then, I account it high time to get to sea as soon as I can."

I remembered what she said in slow motion :cool:

[cha55son]

Cave Johnson: I punch those numbers into my calculator and it makes a happy face.
Lol I know this is an old thread but I still remember this one and no one has said it. Thats right I just wasted 45 minutes reading through this thread. Ooo the days of portal 2 seems so long ago.

[Army_Ninja]

"Dare! DARE TO DREEAM! Shoot for the stars!"
"Oh! Good news! *BZZZAP* ...Nevermind."
"Don't worry, I'm absolutely guaranteeing you it's this way.
...No it's not this way."
Among others for Wheatley...

Also: All of Oracle turrets lines, about half of the the defective turrests lines, Rick's adventure music, soooo many of Fact cores facts... God, I love this game .

[Paddles]

Wheatly "Do You Understand Anything I'm Saying Any Of This At All? Just Tell Me, Just Say Yes" *Press W To Speak*

"Ok What You're Doing There Is Jumping, You Just Jumped, But Nevermind Say Apple, APPPPLE"

Press W To Say Apple

"Ok You Know What That's Close Enough".

Brilliant.

"Now You're Probably In No Fit State To Run This Type Of Particular Gauntlet, But Ahh At Least You've Got Jumping On Your Side You're A Good Jumper"

Although lets be really honest i think nearly everything in this game that's said by all characters at one point puts a smile on my dial.

[Nae'blis]

Cave: "We havent quite nailed down what element it is, but I can tell you this. It does not like the human skeleton"

Wheatley: "I'm not getting through to you so I'm going to try it her way, fatty. Fatty-fatty no-parents!"

Wheatley: "Sorry, did that distract you? That was the sound of me turning pages. Reading. Soooo not a moron!"

Wheatley: "Remember the good old days when we were friends. Good old friends. Not enemies. And I would say something like 'come back!' and you'd be like 'Yep, no problem.' What happened to those days?"

Wheatley: "You know this plan is so good that I'm gonna give you a sporting chance by turning off the neurotoxin... I'm joking of course, goodbye"

Wheatley: "I told you not to put these cores on me!"

[snout]

"Well, well, well. Welcome... to my lair! Let me just flag something up: according to the control panel light up there, the entire building's gonna self-destruct in about six minutes. I'm pretty sure it's a problem with the light. I think the light's on the blink, but just in case it isn't, I am actually going to have to kill you, as discussed earlier." - Wheatley

My favourite. And amazingly, my 7 year old daughters favourite.

[REDBEARDrb]

Cave Johnson: For many of you, I realize 60 dollars is an unprecedented windfall, so don't go spending it all on... I don't know. Caroline, what do these people buy? Tattered hats? Beard dirt?

[Payro]

I'm go to space. I'm gonna go to space twenty-seven times! I'm going to win! At space!
Space Court. For people in space. Judge space sun presiding. Bam. Guilty. Of being in space. I'm in space.
Running out of space. NOOO. Wait. Space is infinite. Nevermind. Close call.
Stars. Planets. Asteroids. Suns. Space zoos. Asteroid zoos. Space ships. Planet space suns. Oh boy.
Einstein. E equals me in space.

Space core. Leaked stuff

[Jacqueline]

almost I love but 3 good one

Wheatley: you did what

and a lie
Wheatley: After you told me to turn the beam off, I thought I'd lost you. Went
poking around for other test subjects. No luck there. Everyone's still all
dead.

Wheatley: Oh! But I did find something. Reminds me: I've got a big surprise for
you two. Seriously. Look forward to it.


Announcer: Good. If you feel that a lethal military android has not respected
your rights as detailed in the Laws of Robotics, please note it on your self-
reporting form. A future Aperture Science Entitlement Associate will initiate
the appropriate grievance-filing paperwork.