End of Dear Esther *Spoilers*

[Doyen]

Hi all, as there is no subforum for Dear Esther I don't know where else to post but here.

At the end of Dear Esther when you jump off the top of the Aerial and become a bird, you fly off towards the paper boats and the screen fades black. Then nothing happens... You hear "come back" and then nothing. I waited for a few minutes and thought my game had bugged or something.

I did a quick save and reload, this caused a fade-in into a new scene, but I couldn't move or look around. Again I waited to see if anything more happened but nope, nothing..

This definitely doesn't seem like the correct ending to a game like this. I've seen a couple other people experiencing the same thing, is this happening to everybody?

[PolloSpeedo]

Yeah, that happened to me too, except that I thought that was the actual ending and quit after the screen faded to black. I expected some sort of epilogue or credits, but we'll have to see if it "gets fixed".

[Zearox]

Same here.

[zidane2010]

If I remember correctly, the original mod ended the same way. I've always kind of figured that the end symbolized death, and thus there is nothing but darkness.

[Humma Kavula]

I posted this (http://forums.steampowered.com/forums/showthread.php?t=2543608) earlier over at Help and Tips forum.
If I remember correctly, the original mod ended the same way. I've always kind of figured that the end symbolized death, and thus there is nothing but darkness.
Could be. It would fit with the whole experience :)

[DazJW]

It's supposed to be like that, it gives you chance to think before quitting manually yourself.

I confirmed this with Dan Pinchbeck as the mod ended the same, he's also posted on Twitter tonight that it's the correct ending.

[Demon Wraith]

The original mod ended that way? Shucks, I quit after the black/shadowy person thing thinking that was the end.

[DazJW]

It wasn't quite the same but you did get a flying camera bit and then a fade to black that you had to manually quite from.

[Doyen]

Thanks for the replies.

Kinda sucks though, if that is the case and that's the proper ending I have to say I'm a little disappointed.

I never quite latched on to the story that was being told and I felt the ending would help give it all context.

Oh well, maybe just not my type of game.

[notdeadyet01]

it makes sense though, Esther is dead so.... yeah, it would make sense that the guy would die.

[LeprechaunDH]

BTW, I feel like I should point out that when the camera flew over the paper boats, I could swear I saw my shadow as a seagull. I'd just like to know if anyone else saw this, or was I just seeing things?

[Seanieboy87]

BTW, I feel like I should point out that when the camera flew over the paper boats, I could swear I saw my shadow as a seagull. I'd just like to know if anyone else saw this, or was I just seeing things?

I thought I saw that as well, was a nice touch if so.

[El_Chalupa]

If I remember correctly, the original mod ended the same way. I've always kind of figured that the end symbolized death, and thus there is nothing but darkness.

Oh, well put.

[derrman0426]

What i got from the ending was that the guy didn't know he was dead, until the end. Then he jumped and flew away, sort of like he had the realisation, and "went into the light" so to speak.

I think the island as a sort of limbo. And the darkness symbolises the cold emptiness of death. That's just what i think.

[Humma Kavula]

BTW, I feel like I should point out that when the camera flew over the paper boats, I could swear I saw my shadow as a seagull. I'd just like to know if anyone else saw this, or was I just seeing things?
Now that you mentioned it, i remember that too :O

[El_Chalupa]

What i got from the ending was that the guy didn't know he was dead, until the end. Then he jumped and flew away, sort of like he had the realisation, and "went into the light" so to speak.

I think the island as a sort of limbo. And the darkness symbolises the cold emptiness of death. That's just what i think.
No actually he's very much alive... thought it may seem you're a walking ghost.

[Frywalker]

I noticed multiple times my shadow was a seagul when flying over the island. I'm not quite sure if I pieced the story together right, though. A few times I saw a "Person" just out of reach (but I figured that was just a symbol of myself or something.)

[DazJW]

BTW, I feel like I should point out that when the camera flew over the paper boats, I could swear I saw my shadow as a seagull. I'd just like to know if anyone else saw this, or was I just seeing things?

Just before/as you pull up before hitting the floor you see it first.

[Humma Kavula]

I just went through the whole thing a second time and was going to post about that :D

[Lurka]

Here's what i think, he kills himself by jumping off the radio tower and the part where you turn into a bird and fly away symbolizes he's free and then the black screen with just sound means he's dead. At the black screen if you quick save and quick load it will load up to where he hit the ground after jumping off the radio tower and he's looking up at the sky, if you look closely you can see the white lines planes leave in the sky which he was talking about him and the other's (I can't remember specifically) leaving he says this as he's climbing up the radio tower.

[czerro]

Here is the story as close as I can figure it.

The island is a metaphor (every man an island). The shipwrecked ships are the regretted memories washed ashore, further explicated by the letters turned paper ships brought in by the tide. Narrator uses his kidney stone issue as a metaphor for building the island from stones grown in his stomach. Stones in the stomach representing guilt. Apparently he is brimming with it, though never explicitly stated. He has a peculiar first hand knowledge of the accident that apparently claimed Esther's life. He has a peculiar interest in proving that Jacobson is dysfunctional and possibly a drunk. Why does he hate Jacobson so much? He references a drunk as being the cause of Esther death on the motorway that he knows WAY too much about. I think this is the last moments of a man with many regrets but one that has haunted him in particular. He has never forgotten Esther, a woman who died in a motorway accident that he was involved in.

Definitely an unreliable narrator who is very confused about what is happening. Donnely and Jacobson are likely projections of the narrator's faults pre and post accident.

[DazJW]

Donnely and Jacobson are likely projections of the narrator's faults pre and post accident.

This particular sentence interested me because the ending narration of my playthrough assigned first names to these surnames and I assumed that would be one of the fixed lines of narration.

[czerro]

This particular sentence interested me because the ending narration of my playthrough assigned first names to these surnames and I assumed that would be one of the fixed lines of narration.

Well, I think you are correct. Donnely and Jacobson were probably real people. I think narrator is something of a historian. I think there is as much truth as fiction in the narration. Narrator is projecting his own faults onto two men who in some way remind him of his own short-comings. I believe narrator wrote letters to Esther and threw them out to sea. I believe narrator secluded himself on an island after the accident to wallow in his guilt and possibly buried himself in the island's history. I don't think the island we explore in the game is a literal one though it may be based on an actual place the narrator lived in his last days.

The only thing leaving me scratching my head is the chemical diagrams.

[Barrorab]

Well, I think you are correct. Donnely and Jacobson were probably real people...

Donnely was real,he was the protagonist.At least from what i understood from his monologue while climbing the tower at the end of the game "...I will look to my left and see Esther Donnelly... (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7k1m26L9DH0)", we can all agree that Esther was his wife so yeah, i may be wrong , but i think Donnelly was actually the man we experience the story with.
Great game nonetheless.

[czerro]

I heard that too, but there are two ways to interpret that:

"...Esther Donnely and Jacobson..."

or

"...Esther, Donnely, and Jacobson..."

I did a WHAT? at first too, but I don't think the former makes sense and is probably intended to be interpreted as the latter.

Edit: Donnely was the historical explorer, there is no way protag could be Donnely and husband to Esther who died in a car accident on a European motorway.

[DazJW]

The only thing leaving me scratching my head is the chemical diagrams.

The chemical diagram is alcohol.


Edit: Donnely was the historical explorer, there is no way protag could be Donnely and husband to Esther who died in a car accident on a European motorway.

Mine said "Esther Donnely and Paul Jacobson" at the end which suggests Donnely could be Esther and Jacobson is Paul, or representations of them, or that the player character is Donnely if Esther is his wife. "Esther, Donnely and Paul Jacobson" doesn't really make sense as a way of saying it so I'm inclined to discount the idea of Esther not being called Esther Donnely.

Esther = Donnely would make sense if you consider Esther died before the player character and would have made the journey before the player character and so could have written about it. Throwing the books off the cliff nearer the start might suggest the player character didn't want to accept death but eventually reached a point of doing so by the end. It could also be his own history that he'd written and was refusing to live out.

It's also possible that they completely abandoned the idea of having one definite story like the mod seemed to have and have thrown in alternate lines.

[czerro]

Well, i think that interpretation is a little messy. That makes Donnely the Explorer entirely fictional while throwing in a third act reveal that protag is also named Donnely (having nothing to do with Donnely the Explorer no less).

I will play the last chapter again and come back, but I don't recall Jacobson having a first name. You may very well be correct, but I think it takes a lot of gas out of the narrative and just turns it into not very well thought out contrivance.

[DazJW]

Well, i think that interpretation is a little messy. That makes Donnely the Explorer entirely fictional while throwing in a third act reveal that protag is also named Donnely (having nothing to do with Donnely the Explorer no less).

I will play the last chapter again and come back, but I don't recall Jacobson having a first name. You may very well be correct, but I think it takes a lot of gas out of the narrative and just turns it into not very well thought out contrivance.

I'm working on the basis that most of the story isn't literal and just represents other things. Maybe the island and the walk up it is real but not much beyond that and certainly not the idea of Donnely's book.

Just to confirm I'm 100% certain that my ending said exactly "Esther Donnely and Paul Jacobson".

[PirateMax]

If you open console you will also see all save states the game makes a lot are named after different characters in the game

[Planeforger]

The way I interpreted it:
- Esther Donnely was the victim of a car crash caused by Paul Jacobson, the protagonist/hermit.
- Paul was a chemist, possibly drunk at the time, hence the guilt-stricken obsession with the chemical formula.
- Paul visited the island once before, when his heart had stopped during the car crash. He was revived, but lived with the guilt until...I'm not sure. He's dying of something, either literal kidney stones, kidney stones as a metaphor for guilt, or suicide.
- The island is a metaphor, an illusion, some sort of limbo state in the character's head (or possibly shared). I suspect that the 18th Century explorer stuff isn't meant to be taken literally - more of a sign that Esther and Paul had been there long before, during the accident.
- Come to think of it, even from the start the island is associated with death. People go there to die or be rescued. That fits the limbo concept fairly nicely.

Anyway, there's more, but that's what I can remember off the top of my head. Will need to replay it today.

[czerro]

I'm working on the basis that most of the story isn't literal and just represents other things. Maybe the island and the walk up it is real but not much beyond that and certainly not the idea of Donnely's book.

Just to confirm I'm 100% certain that my ending said exactly "Esther Donnely and Paul Jacobson".

You are correct. I still think Donnely the Explorer being an invention of protag Donnely as portions of monologue addressed to Esther Donnely, is just super clumsy. There is zero reason...especially considering protag is more likely Jacobson as his character is established in the monologues. I think it's possible that the narrative was designed to be somewhat inscrutable to push focus on the emotive aspects. So maybe I failed at this game by trying to dissect the plot too much. Still an awesome experience.

Edit: The more I think about it, I think the discontinuity is intentional. Company that made the game is called thechineseroom afterall. I think it's a really elegant bit of interactive fiction. Enough is given to the player for him to build his version of what happened, yet there is enough mystery and inconsistency to leave you wanting to go back and examine it again. Like a puzzle with too many peices that you can put together however you like.

[czerro]

The way I interpreted it:
- Esther Donnely was the victim of a car crash caused by Paul Jacobson, the protagonist/hermit.
- Paul was a chemist, possibly drunk at the time, hence the guilt-stricken obsession with the chemical formula.
- Paul visited the island once before, when his heart had stopped during the car crash. He was revived, but lived with the guilt until...I'm not sure. He's dying of something, either literal kidney stones, kidney stones as a metaphor for guilt, or suicide.
- The island is a metaphor, an illusion, some sort of limbo state in the character's head (or possibly shared). I suspect that the 18th Century explorer stuff isn't meant to be taken literally - more of a sign that Esther and Paul had been there long before, during the accident.
- Come to think of it, even from the start the island is associated with death. People go there to die or be rescued. That fits the limbo concept fairly nicely.

Anyway, there's more, but that's what I can remember off the top of my head. Will need to replay it today.


I agree with most of what you say, but just as it is impossible for protag to be Donnely the Explorer, it is also impossible for protag to be Jacobson the Failed Shepherd 'before it was a career'. I think the island exists and has a lot of history. Protag has likely visited it before or at the very least heavily researched it. He is then projecting himself onto the history of the island and it's notable personages and their faults. I don't think anything in the game is 'real'. Seems more like a man in a delirium crunching a bunch of information that he emotionally connects to. Possibly dieing, or suffering from an 'illness' that is the result of some sort of dementia and he is confusing events and people. The island is just the imagined backdrop for this confused man's internal 'coming to terms' if you will.

The only thing we KNOW must be real is Esther, yet protag reveals no information about her outside of the accident that claimed her life. I don't think this points to protag being her husband, but again I think the game is designed to be open to interpretation.

[Hangar34]

Breaking things down to their basics, this is what I get about the characters involved...

- Jacobson - A shepherd, dies on the island.

- Donnelly - An explorer, following the history of Jacobson

- Esther's Friend/Partner/Husband - Emotionally tied to Esther in some way/relationship, following Donnelly by means of his book and leaving paintings, scrawls, paper boats on the island.

- The Player - You, following Esther's Friend's diary entries.

So, everyone is following somebody before them. I'm not sure that all of these people are real/metaphors and whether or not they were all involved in the accident. It's possible that based on the names given near the end that Paul is represented by Jacobson and that Esther is represented by Donnelly. If so, who has written the diary entries you're following? Esther's friend/partner/husband who survived the crash, who can't cope with the loss? And who is the Player supposed to be? Why is he/she following the diary entries?

Alternatively, the predecessor to the Player's visit could be Paul, who cannot cope with the guilt of having caused the fatal accident. Hence the obsession with chemical formula diagrams and ABS brake circuits. But then most of the diary entries wouldn't make sense.

Esther visits the diary writer in hospital when he has kidney stones, so it seems more likely that she was a friend and not a spouse. I believe it was a case of unrequited love. Someone who loved Esther dearly, but was only ever destined to be her friend.

The key sure has to be in correctly identifying who the main characters are and what/who they represent.

I also believe that the island is a metaphor, a place either just before death or in the period leading up to it in someone's mind. We all follow someone, and maybe the idea is that everyone's journey is different (e.g. Donnelly never found the caves) but the path we travel is inevitably the same one, to the same end - release.

[thel33ter]

Just something else I noticed, after the black screen at the end, if you save and reload, it loads to a shot of the sky in which you cannot move or even look around, but in the middle of the screen there are a pair of vapour trails which were mention earlier in the games narrative..

I would say they symbolise two made it out of this mess anyway, but aside from that I can't draw any other meanings from them.

[baggataway]

Doesn't the narrator point out the place of his death as you pass one of the shoreline areas before the paper boats, and later when you jump, you end up right there before "turning into a bird". So either he's already dead, and this is a sort of memory, or he's planning it out and then you do it.
I think we are in a sort of limbo of memories, because of the environment itself. The caves are super organic, and feel like being inside organs. One cave room is actually heart-shaped and red. The entire island is realistic, except for tons of lit candles at the end.

[czerro]

- Esther's Friend/Partner/Husband - Emotionally tied to Esther in some way/relationship, following Donnelly by means of his book and leaving paintings, scrawls, paper boats on the island.

- The Player - You, following Esther's Friend's diary entries.

Well, I think it's a stretch to think the player is separate from the narrator. The paintings, scrawls, paper boats that the narrator is confused by have to be his own creations. Points to dementia. An unreliable narrative is definitely established, but there has to be a core of a story here. Donnelly was arrogant (protag's guilt identifies with this). Jacobson was a failure, a recluse, and most notably a drunk. Protag is pretty fierce in his condemnation of this man he only knows through some historical papers. Weird, unless Jacobson mirrors the protag in some way. Which brings us back around to Esther who died in a car accident from a drunk driver. Protag is responsible for Esther's death in my opinion, and as far as the narrative goes, he knew pretty much zilch about her except that she died in a motorway accident. This all points to protag being responsible for Esther's death via DUI. He then comes to terms with all of this by examining his faults in the faults of others: Donnelly and Jacobson.

[DazJW]

he knew pretty much zilch about her except that she died in a motorway accident

He spoke to her mother on at least one occasion about when Esther was born.
"When you were born, you mother told me, a hush fell over the delivery room. A great red birthmark covered the left side of your face. No one knew what to say, so you cried to fill the vacuum. I always admired you for that; that you cried to fill whatever vacuum you found. I began to manufacture vacuums, just to enable you to deploy your talent. The birthmark faded by the time you were six, and had gone completely by the time we met, but your fascination with the empty, and its cure, remained."
This could have been post-death but it suggests he met Esther pre-death. Met doesn't seem the right word for if he only came to know of her after the accident.

He also refers to her as "my Esther" once which I would say implies a relationship.
"I will take the exit at mid-thigh and plummet to my Esther."

There's also a line of narration that says "old Esther walking with our children" which implies the marriage conclusion some people are drawing.

[jdd91]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dear_Esther

[Whitefalcon684]

BTW, I feel like I should point out that when the camera flew over the paper boats, I could swear I saw my shadow as a seagull. I'd just like to know if anyone else saw this, or was I just seeing things?

yeah if you pay attention right when you are about to hit the ground after jumping off the Comm tower you see the seagull shadow too

[Bile JAR]

I just beat it. I have no idea what happened the whole time. I am sooo confused. Someone sum this up for me?

[czerro]

That's what this thread is about?! Well, to sum it up, you gotta put the pieces together yourself. The entire experience is definitely not real. The ridiculous amount of vigil candles, weird paint scrawlings on the walls, paper boats of letters to Esther washing ashore, and player turning into a bird at the end suggests that. I think the island is based on a 'real' place. I think Donnely and Jacobson are 'real' people that narrator researched about the island. I think protag wrote letters to Esther and threw them out to sea. There appears to be enough evidence to suggest player is Esther's husband, but it feels a little on the nose to me. We also have enough demonstration that the narrator is fallible and confusing events. It's sorta up to you to figure out the relationship between the narrator and Esther at this point.

The game makes some biblical references towards the end, which Esther could figure into. Paul and Damascus, representing one who has gone through a self-examination and found faith in it. Esther would then represent the light that drew the character to this rebirth.

I don't know that there is an explicit answer to this tales backstory.

[Ianmcu]

Doesn't the narrator point out the place of his death as you pass one of the shoreline areas before the paper boats, and later when you jump, you end up right there before "turning into a bird". So either he's already dead, and this is a sort of memory, or he's planning it out and then you do it.
I think we are in a sort of limbo of memories, because of the environment itself. The caves are super organic, and feel like being inside organs. One cave room is actually heart-shaped and red. The entire island is realistic, except for tons of lit candles at the end.

In response to your observation that the caves looked extremely organic, I thought the same thing. I also took the impression that the crystals and growths may have symbolized a cancer, or the "kidney stones" the story teller references a few times.

This game confused me at first, and I was not entirely sure of the meanings at the end, but man...its an intriguing, touching story.

Finally, if you look to your right as you climb the hill up to the radio tower platform, you can see the figure who was standing on the cliff overlooking the beach. It is a cloaked figure with glowing eyes. My first thought was "a tall Jawa..?" But now, thinking about it, the figure may well have symbolized Death, the Grim Reaper. I felt a sense of foreboding, and yet comfort at the sight of it.

[Nathanyel]

If you open console you will also see all save states the game makes a lot are named after different characters in the game

Can also be noticed from screenshots you take via the game's/engine's own feature (default: F5) donnelley (along with many parts of the subtitles, there apparently wasn't that much proofreading...)
jakobson
esther
paul

[Gruffle]

Very interesting thread! I'll replay the game some times and return here with some thoughts.

[TcheQ]

Um.

/epic spoiler ?


Did anyone in this thread not consider the entire thing is symbolic, and that the protaganist is dying from a head-on collision with a car containing Esther + Paul. All momento's in the game point at this, from debris to the chemical symbol for morphine that he has been given while almost dead on the roadside. Could not figure out the significance of the three-chamber peanut shaped symbol. (inductors, logic gates, neurons were all easy enough)

Also the moon through the cave mouth looks like an eye socket.

[MajorDonkey]

Um.

/epic spoiler ?


Did anyone in this thread not consider the entire thing is symbolic, and that the protaganist is dying from a head-on collision with a car containing Esther + Paul. All momento's in the game point at this, from debris to the chemical symbol for morphine that he has been given while almost dead on the roadside. Could not figure out the significance of the three-chamber peanut shaped symbol. (inductors, logic gates, neurons were all easy enough)

Also the moon through the cave mouth looks like an eye socket.

I completely agree with you sir, would also like to add to it with the level at night with the moon: in the cave there is a smiley face made out of parts in the sand, then soon after I saw it on all the rocks at certain angles seemed to appear as things that they were not. Such as a crocidile, an eye, several weird symbols.. a cool almost 3d picture.. In the distance while facing the ocean I saw a rock with what looked like an Indian holding out a fish, and this fog would cover the rock and turn the Indian into an Egyptian god and his eyes would glow until the fog passed.

[Hangar34]

I completely agree with you sir, would also like to add to it with the level at night with the moon: in the cave there is a smiley face made out of parts in the sand, then soon after I saw it on all the rocks at certain angles seemed to appear as things that they were not. Such as a crocidile, an eye, several weird symbols.. a cool almost 3d picture.. In the distance while facing the ocean I saw a rock with what looked like an Indian holding out a fish, and this fog would cover the rock and turn the Indian into an Egyptian god and his eyes would glow until the fog passed.

?!? And we're concerned that Paul was the one who had been drinking?! :)

[Samst0rm]

In the end is it supposed to be symbolizing suicide and being with Esther?

[Varnor]

Just to throw in my own experiences here, as I've only played through once and am not sure if exploration encourages more narration (I think it does)

The narrator mentions that he drinks from Jacobson's mug, which has chemical symbols written on it as he works for a pharmaceutical company that makes yogurt

The ship at the beginning is mentioned to be carrying yogurt for european markets

The narrator also mentions that there are circuit diagrams on the cliff walls at one point (I thought they looked familiar but couldn't place them)

He is certainly delerious from the fall where he breaks his leg, and from the pills he's taking, which means the end gets a little confusing, but I did begin to wonder WHO was responsible for the accident myself. I'm not sure but after a while there's a mention that HE wasn't drunk, and in such a way that implied that maybe he was

In the dream sequence there's only 2 cars, and one must have had Esther in it

I'll certainly play it again, I really enjoyed it and it was graphically very impressive

[ziggysdaydream]

This has really been bugging me, so here's my take:

The player and his partner, Esther Donnelly, had a car accident at the Sanford junction interchange on the M5. The player was driving and had been drinking. The driver of the other vehicle was Paul Jakobson. Esther Donnelly was seriously injured and taken to hospital. As he anxiously waits in the hospital he subconsciously takes mental snapshots of things around him: the hospital posters showing diagrams of chemical compounds, the doctors light shining in Esther's eye, a defibrillator sitting on a cart. He is later told his partner and unborn child have died (I'm sure they are ultrasound scan pictures on the table in the Bothe)

Weeks later as tries to make sense of Esther's death he makes a 'pilgrimage' to see Paul Jakobson the other driver. They meet at Paul's house on the outskirts of Wolverhampton and drink coffee as they try to 'connect'. Both are riddled with remorse.

The player's physical and mental health decline and he is racked with pain from the kidney stones he suffers from. He takes painkillers (and possibly diazepam) and drinks alcohol. He falls unconscious in a drugged/drunken stupor.

While unconscious he goes to the 'island', an imaginary construct of his subconscious. His lapses in and out of consciousness demark his 'visits' to the island as his subconscious plays tricks with his sense of time. The real world can sometimes be heard on the island as strange sounds that seem to come from nowhere. From his perspective he has 'visited' many times, each time he has been unconscious. This time will be the last.

Donnelly and Jakobson are subconscious representations of Esther and Paul, and the 'history' of the island is a representation of the emotional landscape the player has struggled through. The island is littered with subconscious representations of the real world, both literal and symbolic. The Bothe for example symbolises family, togetherness, shelter, security. It represents the player's life with Esther, yet it also contains literal representations of that life and future they might have had: the table they used for wallpapering their first house, the book Esther stole from a library, the pictures of the ultrasound scans on that table.

The island history also represents the player's complex emotions after the death of Esther. The shepherd Jakobson hoped for a wife and family, but instead lived and died alone, never fulfilling this dream. This may be the player's unconscious expression of bitterness and resentment towards Paul Jakobson. But he has guilt for not being able to forgive Jakobson for something that was his own fault, and also the guilt of his own responsibility. His subconscious expresses this as jakobson the sheperd who doesn't get a happy ending, and Paul on the journey to Damascus who was 'reborn' and forgiven his shortcomings.

Those Damascus references also represent a tension in the player's personality between the rational (circuit diagrams) and the spiritual (quotes from the Bible), as if he is desperately seeking answers from one or the other.

On this last visit to the island the player's resolve, represented by a torch, is failing, and he knows it is time to head towards the aerial (a point of rebirth). The caves represent the player's own body as he explores his 'own death throws'. The underground torrents of water representing the pain flowing through him. His letting go of life is represented in his subconscious by him letting go at the top of the aerial.

The player calls his final moments an act of 'rebirth', and this is expressed as a change of form into a bird, symbolising freedom. It also resonates back to Paul of Damascus who was 'reborn' as a different person.

So the island is all the events of the players recent life filtered through his subconscious mind, and his 'conversion' into a seagull and flying away is how the player's subconscious mind represents his own death, which he welcomes. Meanwhile, in the real world, the player's body succumbs to the cocktail of drugs and alcohol in his system as he quietly slips away.

(everything deduced or surmised from the player's statements and 'visions', items on the island, and the characteristics of the 'player' himself, e.g. his ability to breathe indefinitely underwater)

Anyone reach similar conclusions?

[Irongiant666]

That's rather excellent and echoes a lot of my own musings. Is it 'right'? Hard to say for sure - it's open to interpretation. But I think that you're pretty close to the 'truth'.

One correction:

"the book Esther stole from a library"

The narrator stole the book, not Esther. :)

[kelthuzadjk]

I still think that the "Donnelly", the narrator talks about, is the narrator himself, a past version/memory of himself. Maybe it's just because I don't understand why the narrator should in his mind represent Esther as a man.

[atim]

I still think that the "Donnelly", the narrator talks about, is the narrator himself, a past version/memory of himself. Maybe it's just because I don't understand why the narrator should in his mind represent Esther as a man.

Could be the narrator and Esther share the same last names?

[kelthuzadjk]

Yes of course, if the narrator is her husband, the are both named Donnelly.. that is why I think he talks about himself and not Esther.
I just don't know why he should make Esther a male person in his mind, so I think the Donnelly he talks about is not Esther. It seems logical that he talks about himself then, because he is the other one called Donnelly.

[ziggysdaydream]

That's rather excellent and echoes a lot of my own musings. Is it 'right'? Hard to say for sure - it's open to interpretation. But I think that you're pretty close to the 'truth'.

One correction:

"the book Esther stole from a library"

The narrator stole the book, not Esther. :)

I'm sure in one of the bothy dialogues he says "the book you stole from Edinburgh library", but you may be right. Will have to check.

So many questions unanswered. Perhaps that's why it doesn't actually end. Because the game doesn't stop with the end of the graphical part. Your imagination tries to fill in the blanks even after you've switched it off. Perhaps that's when you actually start 'playing' the game. Really does get under your skin.

[annuschka]

Nice interpretations so far! :) I want to add some evidence about Esther being the wife of somebody, most likely the protagonist: When you climb up to the aerial, there is a little hut near the fence. On the rim of the balcony lies a pair of wedding rings. ;)

[Billy Stinkwate]

Short question maybe you can help me out:
Is there any evidence in the game, like a line from the narrator, that clearly states Esther to be dead?

[Kouvero]

The game makes some biblical references towards the end, which Esther could figure into. Paul and Damascus, representing one who has gone through a self-examination and found faith in it. Esther would then represent the light that drew the character to this rebirth

Obviously spoilers ahead.

There's also a more "concrete" link in the Road to Damascus. As the wall paintings talk about the light shining around him before falling etc.:

"Acts 9 tells the story of Paul's conversion as a third-person narrative:

"And as he journeyed, it came to pass that he drew nigh unto Damascus: and suddenly there shone round about him a light out of heaven: and he fell upon the earth, and heard a voice saying unto him, Saul, Saul, why persecutest thou me?""

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Road_to_Damascus#Acts_9

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_the_Apostle

Where I think falling stands for falling from your feet to the ground, not from any high place, whereas in the game there's this high place involved.

Anyway, in the story of Paul the Apostle he loses his sight from the light, and later converts.

"According to the Acts of the Apostles, his conversion (or metanoia) took place on the road to Damascus, where he claimed to have experienced a vision of the resurrected Jesus, after which he was temporarily blinded."

This would refer to the ending, where there is only blackness (i.e. blindness), but unlike in the original story, the blackness remains and is not cured.

At least it opens up some more room for interesting interpretations in my opinion.

After writing this I also did some more googling and found this "official" paper that also refers to these biblical connections and clarifies some other things as well: http://www.thechineseroom.co.uk/PinchbeckStorytelling08.pdf

[FifthDimension]

After reading all of these interpretations, I have started to wonder whether we are supposed to be piecing it together like this at all. Each of our interpretations have been colored by our first playthroughs, and each of us had different playthroughs because of the the randomization. It's not one story told through several attempts; it's several similar but unique stories. This would explain the contradictory and confusing information that we get.

However, just saying that there is no real answer is no fun at all. :) And there probably are interpretations that are "more right" than others. I will continue to look into the game and try to find an interpretation that I think works.

[Kouvero]

After reading all of these interpretations, I have started to wonder whether we are supposed to be piecing it together like this at all. Each of our interpretations have been colored by our first playthroughs, and each of us had different playthroughs because of the the randomization. It's not one story told through several attempts; it's several similar but unique stories. This would explain the contradictory and confusing information that we get.

However, just saying that there is no real answer is no fun at all. :) And there probably are interpretations that are "more right" than others. I will continue to look into the game and try to find an interpretation that I think works.

Then there's also the thing Pinchbeck writes in the pdf document linked in the previous post:

"Ultimately, there remains the question of whether the island is real at all; whether the accident ever happened or is just a metaphor; whether the narrator himself exists in any real sense. Compounding this, the randomisation of the narrative fragments and deliberate contradictions coded into the text means a closed reading, or understanding, of the events is impossible to ever reach."

Now I'm not saying anyone should stop looking to find answers, the great thing about this game has been how much it has drawn people to discuss and find meanings. Even if there isn't any ultimate answer. Suggesting that even the accident is a metaphor makes the game rise to an even more meta'ish level. It has so many lifelike qualities in the form of different but equally valid interpretations and meanings, promoting the discussion of the items within, even if it was known the ultimate answer could never be found.

[Kouvero]

So the island is all the events of the players recent life filtered through his subconscious mind, and his 'conversion' into a seagull and flying away is how the player's subconscious mind represents his own death, which he welcomes. Meanwhile, in the real world, the player's body succumbs to the cocktail of drugs and alcohol in his system as he quietly slips away.

(everything deduced or surmised from the player's statements and 'visions', items on the island, and the characteristics of the 'player' himself, e.g. his ability to breathe indefinitely underwater)

Anyone reach similar conclusions?

This is a really great reading. One thing that stuck with me as a really powerful image was the briefly displayed streetlights on the highway, which felt like pictured as if the player was lying on the road.

[Kouvero]

This is a really great reading. One thing that stuck with me as a really powerful image was the briefly displayed streetlights on the highway, which felt like pictured as if the player was lying on the road.

Heh, I'm not sure if there was something wrong with my controls, but now on the second playthrough I was actually able to move around the road scene. :P Or then the scene is meant to be different. It was much shorter the first time, which I preferred.

[Irongiant666]

Nice interpretations so far! :) I want to add some evidence about Esther being the wife of somebody, most likely the protagonist: When you climb up to the aerial, there is a little hut near the fence. On the rim of the balcony lies a pair of wedding rings. ;)

That varies too - sometimes it's just one ring. :)

[Irongiant666]

Short question maybe you can help me out:
Is there any evidence in the game, like a line from the narrator, that clearly states Esther to be dead?

Yes, quite a few - mainly mentions of her ashes, the crematorium chimney, etc.

[Irongiant666]

Heh, I'm not sure if there was something wrong with my controls, but now on the second playthrough I was actually able to move around the road scene. :P Or then the scene is meant to be different. It was much shorter the first time, which I preferred.

From looking at walkthroughs (and based on my own experience) it's instinctive to move up once you hit the water. I know that's what I did the first time - but on the second playthrough I explored the 'memory' area more thoroughly. You can move around pretty well.

[Minichado]

I didn't see anyone mention this, but when you attempt to jump off of anything during the play, or stay under water too long, the video fades out and you here "come back" sort of in an ethereal way before being put back from whence you dropped.

It sort of re-enforces that the whole place is a metaphor (and we all seem to be along with that gist)and your just going through memories in a crazy guys mind :)

I'm only on a first play through, working on a second to see how confused I get with the variation in the storyline.

[Shedding1]

A lot of cliche's. I personally didn't like this game. I thought I paid too much for an artsy story. Here is my take:

The first molecule you encounter (and you see it thereafter) is a molecule for alcohol.

I also see a blinking when you see the first cave. It looks like morse code (I will go back and try to decrypt it).

You also have to think about the name Esther - Very similar to Ethyl (alcohol).

Jacob (which is our protagonist) - When I thought of it, I thought of Jacob's ladder. A ladder that goes directly to heaven.

You also see a lot of references to religious passages. Specially dealing with the light from the heavens brings down death on someone.

road to Damascus
(idiomatic) An important point in someone's life where a great change, or reversal, of ideas or beliefs occurs. (Obtained from wiki)

As I went through the caves, you also see a lot of diodes at exits. Diodes allow current to pass in only one direction. Once you are through you can't go back.

I also saw on the caves pictures which looked like dendrites (brain synapses).

All in all, I took from this is that Paul (Jacob) is going through his own self (he makes several mentions of himself being at various parts of his body - "I am in the stomach" "I am next to the heart". He is finding himself in the turmoil of losing Esther. However, I think it was him who was drunk, not the other driver. He mentioned the other driver was not drunk. The ending is about a seagull returning to this island (Since now it has been fertilized with the ashes of the dead. Paul and Esther) dead brings life.

One last thing I'd like to add, in the beginning there was a shell that is usually used to illustrate the golden ratio (drawn from fibonnaci's sequence). Most things that follow the golden ratio are said to be pleasant and beautiful to us. So in effect, the author was probably trying to say everything was perfect in the begining.

Take what you guys will, this was my small interpretation.

[Sil9]

Shedding1, that sounded beautiful :)

[Norfren]

The structures of two further chemical compounds could be recognized, painted in the cave walls, namely serotonin and dopamine. Both of them have a very important role in the brain, among others they mediate the impulses between the neurons. The also contribute the psychical state and they imbalance strongly influences the mental state. The structure of a third compound is also seen, but I was not able to identify it so far.

Serotonin (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Serotonin)
Dopamine (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dopamine)

[IonAphis]

I have an alternate but nonexclusive theory: What if the narrator was Something Donelly (Esther's husband) but the Donelly he speaks of in third person is actually an ancestor of his, an explorer who discovered or ventured into the island and wrote about it. And him, being a cartographer or historian of sorts (mention of his cartographic equipment he actually mentions in the passage about him driving up and down the stretch of highway looking for the marks/evidence of the accident using his cartographic equipment), he probably went to the island either before the accident (maybe looking for his roots - a mid-life crisis of sorts, and maybe why he took up drinking in the first place) or maybe he visited the island after the accident and after meeting with Paul, trying to piece his life together, finding something to hold on to that would make him want to keep living. And if it is so that he visited the island previous to the accident, the island is just where he projects. The alternative is that he actually went into the island after the crash and, not finding any solace in it, jumps off the tower. And this is where it gets weird, but when we catch up to the narrator, he's actually in limbo, reliving his last moments on earth, following his last steps, but obviously seeing much more than is actually there (the candles, the writings and the defibrillator, etc...). This to me makes a lot of sense since his accounts would be mixed, his narration being mixed with real memories (falling and breaking his leg to get to the cave) and post-mortem observations. Things like the defibrillator would be a projection from the limbo, but things like the boats would actually be things he did while he was there alive (after not being able to reconcile with the truth, he probably let go of all of this material things, including the boats, and burned the rest, as he says in the end). In the real story, he falls to his death, but in the limbo retelling, he finally overcomes what he could not do in life and becomes free of the burden (by turning into a bird). Also, that would explain why when you come up to the point where his body should be sprawled on the floor had his body just plummeted, he makes some mention of the spot...
So actually his telling would be mixed with actual letters he writes to Esther (in an attempt to verbalize his guilt and pain) while exploring the island, thoughts of the accident and reflections of his mistakes while reliving the story in this sort of limbo. The drawings and schematics is a toss up, he could have actually painted them on there in his crazyness in his last moments on earth, or just things that appear to be there when he relives it in limbo.

I have one last creepy theory about all of this to explain the multiple lines in the surface of the rock bellow the radio tower: What if he went there in person, kills himself, but instead of reliving the experience in limbo once, he instead relives it several times, failing every time, each time leaving a different line on the rock as he plummets down to earth, only on the last time (the one we actually accompany him) he actually overcomes his guilt. This would have a nice effect, using the multiple versions of the game (mod and fullgame) since every time you play the game, the experience is a bit different, and on the original mod instead of becoming a bird you hit the ground... As if each time you replay the game is like another one of these attempts in limbo to find his solace... But then again, if that was true, the ending speech as he jumps off wouldn't make much sense all those times he doesn't "ascend"/turns into a bird...

Just another view on things....

[GlaDOSowen]

The only dirt-solid facts I've been able to gather is that the narrator is talking to you (player) in a hospital, which I've pieced together from my own, and other peoples observations...

.When you fall really high, you hear a heart thumping (near-death state), and "come back", from the narrator

.Hospital stuff everywhere

.A sound file named heartbeat, or something...

.The theme of the narrative (sadness, delusional speech (I know how losing a life can affect people, my sister destroyed half the living room when our first dog left to be put to sleep), and the general oddness of the narrative)

.The final "Come Back", followed by the black screen,(and I swear, I hear one of those heart monitors signal a heart not beating), symbolizing death

[Maxiart]

The only dirt-solid facts I've been able to gather is that the narrator is talking to you (player) in a hospital, which I've pieced together from my own, and other peoples observations...

.When you fall really high, you hear a heart thumping (near-death state), and "come back", from the narrator

.Hospital stuff everywhere

.A sound file named heartbeat, or something...

.The theme of the narrative (sadness, delusional speech (I know how losing a life can affect people, my sister destroyed half the living room when our first dog left to be put to sleep), and the general oddness of the narrative)

.The final "Come Back", followed by the black screen,(and I swear, I hear one of those heart monitors signal a heart not beating), symbolizing death

I don't think thats set in stone. For one, the way he speaks about some things, it make it seem as if Esther is already dead and cremated. He 'chose' fire(IIRC) over soil, and the chimney led her to heaven. Also, the ashes.

[GlaDOSowen]

I didn't neccesarily mean Esther, and, btw, on my playthrough, I heard nothing of said ashes (although I know it's one of the lines)

[gotenwinz99]

i believe in dear esther we are playing as the infection, and once we reach the heart we die, that's why there is beep near the end

[BahaFS]

I'm probably way late on this but I just finished the game this morning and I caught sight of this near the end: http://cloud.steampowered.com/ugc/558686202341952858/0722D03F3258462BD4001950FDE738AC6F5B73C7/

Is that a person or a statue? There was no sight of it once I reached the top and it's been bugging me ever since.

[Tempest_Wales]

I'm probably way late on this but I just finished the game this morning and I caught sight of this near the end: http://cloud.steampowered.com/ugc/558686202341952858/0722D03F3258462BD4001950FDE738AC6F5B73C7/

Is that a person or a statue? There was no sight of it once I reached the top and it's been bugging me ever since.

I was just about to come here and post the same, I saw another one on the path below,

http://cloud.steampowered.com/ugc/540671083773826841/0EEAD17A0E3268BF5640CB3418BA53C06D0E527B/

and one on the edge of the cliffs by the beached container ship, I didn't get a screen shot of it, because it disappeared when I went to investigate.

[FinalVito]

Really? No one play the MOD before play the game?

You can see the ghost like 4-5 times

[Irongiant666]

I was just about to come here and post the same, I saw another one on the path below,

http://cloud.steampowered.com/ugc/540671083773826841/0EEAD17A0E3268BF5640CB3418BA53C06D0E527B/

and one on the edge of the cliffs by the beached container ship, I didn't get a screen shot of it, because it disappeared when I went to investigate.


Ghosts and pics:

http://dearesther.wikia.com/wiki/Ghosts

[Attilio]

After reading all of these interpretations, I have started to wonder whether we are supposed to be piecing it together like this at all. Each of our interpretations have been colored by our first playthroughs, and each of us had different playthroughs because of the the randomization. It's not one story told through several attempts; it's several similar but unique stories. This would explain the contradictory and confusing information that we get.

However, just saying that there is no real answer is no fun at all. :) And there probably are interpretations that are "more right" than others. I will continue to look into the game and try to find an interpretation that I think works.

I second that. I belive this game is about: Emotions that are born during the game. Emotions, which are triggered by the atmosphere, the view, the sounds, the narration. The main symbol is more or less clear. The minor details however keep being varied. This tells me that they are important only for the feeling but not for the big picture. For the big picture even the situation wether the island is real or just imagination, is not important. The important thing is how You feel, and how You live the story. Everything else is just... Well... Personal.

[Koo-Blu]

I would have like the credits as I also sat and waited for a few minutes to see if anything would happen. I don't want to shortchange myself since I paid for this game, but I still thought the ending was good. While Dear Esther isn't for everyone, it was a unique experience, and for me, uniquely memorable.

[Chaff70]

BTW, I feel like I should point out that when the camera flew over the paper boats, I could swear I saw my shadow as a seagull. I'd just like to know if anyone else saw this, or was I just seeing things?

I saw that too! I also saw it just as I landed near the ground after jumping off the Beacon. :confused:

[SiMMENS]

Did I hear somewhere that if you replay the game the story changes, or further develops or is it just a one playthrough sorta thing

[edelnar]

You've heard right. Monologues may change, changing story and you perspective, some ghosts may appear in different forms, some noises and whispers may be here and there, flashback scene in chapter three may change, some symbolic props may randomly spawn in places of interest.

Actually, this game has amazing re-playability despite its shortness and very basic mechanics. It's very hard to get two identical experiences. Just don't do many re-walks in short period so that it wouldn't bore you. Go back when you feel in mood.

[SiMMENS]

You've heard right. Monologues may change, changing story and you perspective, some ghosts may appear in different forms, some noises and whispers may be here and there, flashback scene in chapter three may change, some symbolic props may randomly spawn in places of interest.

Actually, this game has amazing re-playability despite its shortness and very basic mechanics. It's very hard to get two identical experiences. Just don't do many re-walks in short period so that it wouldn't bore you. Go back when you feel in mood.

wow, thats awesome

[LeonardCrabs]

I think Esther is his wife, so they both share the name Donnelly. They were in a car crash with Paul Jacobson. Esther died and both the narrator and Paul survived.

The narrator blamed Paul for this, since he was drunk. However all of this did not matter as the anti blocking brakes malfunctioned. (Circuit diagrams and chemical formulars for alcohol)

The narrator cannot cope with the loss of his wife and after making his peace with Paul he travels to the island.

While on the island he writes letters to his dead wife and becomes delusional over time (comparing it to a biblical journey). On his journey to end his life he falls into the caves and breaks his leg. High on painkillers he continues the journey until he commits suicide.

The player sees the island and the journey through the eyes of the narrator. Therefore we also perceive the figments of his imagination and his delusions.

We "hear" his thoughts. So in the end when he takes his life, he imagines soaring up as a sea gull, while actually falling to death.

The ending where everything fades to black is his last thought, his last memory of his wife, saying "come back". (Earlier in the last chapter on his way up to the aerial, you can hear "come back, Esther").

The hospital and kidney stones and so on, are just memories of his life with Esther (and probably difficult times or memoral moments)

[pstrauss]

Um.

/epic spoiler ?


Did anyone in this thread not consider the entire thing is symbolic, and that the protaganist is dying from a head-on collision with a car containing Esther + Paul. All momento's in the game point at this, from debris to the chemical symbol for morphine that he has been given while almost dead on the roadside. Could not figure out the significance of the three-chamber peanut shaped symbol. (inductors, logic gates, neurons were all easy enough)

Also the moon through the cave mouth looks like an eye socket.

Agree with you here. Did anyone notice that a the cave on the beach near the end there is a defibrillator unit next to a tray surgical utensils, blood, pills and needles. Seems to suggest that you are dying. I saw you, instead of Esther because it happens right at the end which suggests to me that it's your characters realization of what is happening. I think the letters to Esther maybe are all the things your character wishes he could have said to her or told her about but didn't have the chance because he's dying (this doesn't make sense for all of the letters of course).

[skin2yard]

i think that in the end... the camera follows just a segal, and the player just falls to the ground and dies...does that make sense?

[Rounin]

I thought that the main character is a seagull all the way, since I couldn't see the feet and the view wasn't bobbing. Flying and shadow at the ending confirms it.

[glasseye67]

I saw the bird shadow. If it was a seagull I am not sure.

[Breenasaur]

Well for such a serious game, it kind of surprised me to see HE WAS A SEAGULL ALL ALONG. :rolleyes:

[midsummermuse]

Not sure if this is one of the randomly generated meaningful props, but did anyone else see the photo of the young girl in one of the small inlet caves in the last chapter before you climb to the apex? Was that possibly Esther and/or his(narrator's) child? Also, did anyone else draw the same conclusion that I did when one of the narration passages implies that he took Esther's cremated remains and mixed the ashes with the luminescent paint to cover the cave walls with it? Infuse her into the island as he does to himself?

Side note, where did he get so much luminescent paint anyhow... ;-) Loved this "game"/story/whatever-it-is. The caves are so beautiful, particularly the area where the stalagmites start looking like dendrites/nerves and then the small area covered with pyramid shaped crystals, like the inside of a geode.

[Goodtwist]

I'm also posting here because Dear Esther piqued my curiosity, too.

I would like to point your attention to the cables laid out all around the country side. And not only that but the cable textures seem all identic AND they have some sort of reading panel on it.

That struck me right in the beginning and it let me question the reality of the island. I briefly asked myself whether the island could be some kind of virtual reality, a holodeck even.

Then again, those cables could be an amalgamation of hospital electronic devices and the protagonist's subconsciousness.

Which is odd in any case because the tune/style of Dear Esther is nowhere technological and those (presumably) hi-tech cables seem very misplaced.

[jakobbenes]

I've read every entry in here because I've got a twinge of disappointment nestling in the back of my mind and I wanted to know whether anyone shared this. Which is a shame. I mean, I am all in favour of "open" endings, but this one seemed to be building toward a "revelation" that never came.

I refer to the Acts 22 and Acts 9 references in Chapters 3 and 4, with quoted scripture emblazoned on the cliff walls, like the lines etched into the walls warning people to stay away, or demanding help. Damascus, or more precisely, the road to Damascus was the revelation for the leading Pharisee Saul that he was persecuting God's people. It was a major revelation that turned his entire life upside down, that black was now white, white was now black, and, significantly, gives us the phrase "he saw the light". How many different ways does the story need to tell me that we're coming-up on a major revelation?? I was waiting with bated breath!

And then nothing.

I mean, there ARE two revelations one could take from the ending that make sense, but both are too often alluded to throughout the rest of the story to be classed as revelations in the truest sense of the word, that is the coalescing of myriad facts that suddenly make sense. And for that I am disappointed.

Two mild, open-to-debate revelations come to my mind that (a) he was dying but not from a gangrenous thigh (well, not as he would have us understand it), and nor did he die because he dived from the top of the aerial, but that this was his dream-like version of CHOOSING to die, and (b) that the accident was his fault, or that he felt a great deal of guilt for it.

Someone else suggested the same: Did anyone in this thread not consider the entire thing is symbolic, and that the protaganist is dying from a head-on collision
We never hear much about the accident's aftermath, other than Paul sat there timing the seconds for the ambulance to arrive, sitting hunched on the side of the road. We have no idea what our author was doing. He could have been trapped in the car with a dying or dead Esther life slowly passing from his veins.

Certainly, the proliferation of certain objects around the island, such as the split in the cliff to the west of the lighthouse filled with copies of Donnelly's book, told me me this was a dream state or at least a untrue reflection of reality, such as a morphine-induced haze. The proliferation of medical supplies spread around, the defib' machine, the blood-soiled gauze, the tongs and kidney-shaped bowl-thingy, could be his memories of Esther's death, of the emergency room physicians trying to revive her.

Or it could be of his slow decline.

The only evidence we have of his surviving the accident is that he says he visited Paul and that Paul sat nervously during his visit. It could be that this was a haze memory fabricated by his steadily fading mind. Because bear in mind, in one play-through you might be told that the chemical diagrams were on the mug Paul gave him, in another you'll be told they were on posters on the walls of the waiting room. And, finally, we might be told that Paul sat there, on the side of the road, "with his chemicals and his circuit diagrams". Which is true?

That the last statement is made almost at the end of his ascent on the island makes me think it is closer to the truth, that it was there, staring out from the smashed-up car, our author watches Paul. Perhaps they talked. Perhaps it was there that he learned about Paul's trip, or perhaps he overhead Paul telling the police or paramedics, providing too much detail, as one does in a panic, about his designs on the yoghurt industry.

Therefore, what is the island? His slow walk toward death, his slow acceptance that he, too, would die. It is undeniable that the island is not a factual representation, but a perceptive one. He says he stole one copy of Donnelly's book from Edinburgh Library, and yet hundreds litter the island. He tells Esther that in the Bothy are their bed, their first trestle table, the folding chair she brough to camp at the lakes, the diary he was writing in. The island is littered with HIS memories, some ancient, some recent.

That he chose to make the island the subject of his death march may be explained by his memory that it was somewhere he and Esther had visited, that he, if not they, had sufficient interest in the place to know so much about Donnelly, Jakobson, the goats, the mystic, the shepherds and their one bible, and so on. Perhaps as something they had shared, he was immediately drawn to its solitude. Certainly, as one trapped in a coma unable to communicate with anyone, the island's isolation would seem a familiar way to explain the nightmarish aloneness he felt. Or, then again, perhaps the island was simply something he or she had been reading about when their car crashed. The mind does tend to play those tricks.

What is interesting about this quote of his is that in remembering these things he adds: "I will burn them all on the last morning and make an aerial of my own." This juxtaposing burning his memories and making a new aerial suggests the aerial is like his memories, in that it is keeping him attached to this material world, where the pain of his loss is too strong, it is keeping him alive. like the bouy before it, with that constant idiotic blinking light beeping to the stars...

That heart monitor.

It keeps him alive, attached to this world. Like the radio transmitter is the island's only connection to the outside world, a heart monitor would also be for a comatose patient. It is for this reason that I am inclined to think he is on an emergency room or intensive care hospital gurney dying. He wants to burn his memories, his last connection to this world, for all the pain it represents remembering his Esther. "An aerial of his own" tells me that the aerial is like his memories, keeping him in this world, alive, for it is the beacon of life, the constant beeping sound of the heart monitor pulsing forth to the stars his life-force.

Morphine is an EXTREMELY POWERFUL hallucinogen, even as a person is on a half-dose so they're not comatose, the world is a swimming pool of bizarre hallucinations, a mixture of memories, mental inventions, and mixed emotions, from terror to elation, depending on the patient's state. So, imagine a person's mind while half-sleeping, with even less sensory input. What wild imaginings, juxtaposed memories, could coalesce? Entire islands could come to life.

At least, that, to my mind, is as plausible a theory just waiting to be shot down. :)

Secondly, guilt.

At first, we are told Paul caused the accident with his drunkenness. We later hear of Donnelly's drunken condition. Then, we hear that Paul wasn't drunk, just tired, that he'd watched carefully his alcohol intake. Finally, our author tells us that it wasn't Paul's fault, that "He was not drunk Esther, he was not drunk at all" and that instead "the gulls do not fly so low over the motorway and cause him to swerve." So, gulls did it?

"... I drag Donnelly’s corpse on my back across these rocks, and all I hear are his whispers of guilt, his reminders, his burnt letters, his neatly folded clothes. He tells me I was not drunk at all." Hang on. "*I* was not drunk?" But wasn't Donnelly a "less reliable" witness as time goes on?

And then this: "This is a drowned man's face reflected in the moonlit waters. It can only be a dead shepherd who has come to drunk drive you home."

Is he at last coming to terms with his own culpability? For in the end, as he dives from the aerial, does he not turn into a gull, one of the very animals he says CAUSED the accident? This, to my mind, is the second very mild revelation: that he turned into a gull, that in jumping from the aerial mast, he finally admitted his guilt before the screen fades to black. We'll never quite know whether the gulls did cause Paul to swerve or whether our author swerved because he perceived some gulls no one else saw.

At least, that, to my mind, is a second plausible theory just waiting to be shot down. :)

There are a LOT of comments other people made that I wanted to comment on, but I'm sick and woozy and think that can wait for another day.

I will conclude by saying this: while I did find the conclusion a tad disappointing, the fact that I am able to write 1500 words no one read on this game, which is faaaaaaaaaar more than I would or could ever do for the CoD series, for example, is certainly a testament to how much the game has drawn me in. For that, it should be greatly approved.

[AB_Attack]

I've read every entry in here because I've got a twinge of disappointment nestling in the back of my mind and I wanted to know whether anyone shared this. Which is a shame. I mean, I am all in favour of "open" endings, but this one seemed to be building toward a "revelation" that never came.

...

II will conclude by saying this: while I did find the conclusion a tad disappointing, the fact that I am able to write 1500 words no one read on this game, which is faaaaaaaaaar more than I would or could ever do for the CoD series, for example, is certainly a testament to how much the game has drawn me in. For that, it should be greatly approved.I agree with you. After a little while I came to terms with that the black screen might just be the ending, but had to check on it so I came here. At the end my interest had really climbed so it was sad to see the story pulled away from me so abrupty. In these kind of games that are vague and so many interpretations can be made, unfortunately what happens with me is that instead of trying to think hard on stuff that doesn't make sense anyway I just trudge along to see if I find something cool.

Like in Dear Esther, after the first part I dismissed the character along the lines "yeah ok, so you are obviously mad, painting incoherent one-liners on cliffs and rambling stuff, so I will only listen on one ear of what you have to say". And then it ends and I start wondering what just happened.

It's strange. It started really slow. The game became great just now 30 min after it ended...

Still I would've wanted more closure.

[PuppyFiddler]

Personally I was convinced that you're dying on the roadside and everytime you try to drown or fall on the island and "come back" it's basically the doctors trying their best to save your life. You eventually just give up the ghost after you've gone through your mental jouney on the island by jumping off the ariel which probably represents the message being sent out that you've died.

I'm also convinced you are the drunk because you angrily recollected you trying to persuade yourself that you weren't drunk before getting into the car.

I need to play through again to get all the details but one thing's for sure - you're not really on an island! I think the seaguls are just there for directions and symbolic of leaving the earth. I doubt if you were a seagul all the time you'd be plunging into water and going deep underground.

[Deka]

While reading this thread something struck my mind, namely a screenshot i made some minutes ago as i juggled with the console to find out how to get to the same position and camera angle . . .

The back side of a ship that was washed ashore reads: "Neither did he eat nor drink" - This might imply that the narrator (which in my mind is the one that caused the accident and is...was... Esthers husband) either wasn't drunk or eating while driving, or it means that he stopped eating and drinking after losing his wife. Another thing that made me curious is the quick loaded ending you get after the screen turned black in the ending. I am not sure but i think that you can see on top of one of the trails one of the shadows looking down on you, might this mean, that perhaps Esther and the kid survived, while the driver - drunken or not - died, thinking that his own fault cost him dearly his wife and unborn kid?

The more i think about the more i want to replay the game from start to end. . .

[PuppyFiddler]

Deka it's well worth replaying it. I just did and saved the dialogue this time around to try and piece it together. This is my best shot at making sense of it:

- After he visited Paul the yoghurt worker who caused the accident and clearly blamed himself for it, the narrator visited an abandoned island to try and get close to Esther who died earlier in the car accident. Her mother said she cried to fill the vacum so a quiet island would be a good spot to 'hear' her again. He spends a couple of years on the island or it's just a few years since the accident.
-Also seems he wasn't planning on killing himself, at least not straight away, until he broke his leg and used salvaged pain killers from the trawler to help him reach the ariel to accomplish it. He was planning on living out his time on the island in any case as he had nothing to go back to and in his words carved his own white lines to warn off anyone trying to help him. Probably planned to eventually starve himself to death.
-The chemical symbols on the caves are from what he saw during his time in hospital in the waiting room and from his own experience as a chemistry student. Still not sure what the electronic symbols are from though.
-He wrote 21 letters to her after she died and instead of posting them he turned them into boats and put them in the ocean because he couldn't get to the mainland. Not sure if his mention of 21 times driving back and forth on the motorway is part of the hallucination or just coincedence. Same for the 21 minutes watching the jets fly past. I'm fairly sure the 21 is only to do with the letters. Or maybe Esther was 21 when she died.
-It's possible the whole experience is him caught in limbo after killing himself and all drawings, seagulls, eggs in nests, writing etc. are just subconcious abstract projections he sees when following the same path he took.
-He takes comfort in Donnelly's history of the island and in his delerium he hears Donnelly reassure him he wasn't the one who was drunk and not to blame?

It's true you get different dialogues with more play-throughs and you notice more ghosts as well. Still not 100% on the story as some of the messages are just mixed up. Wouldn't surprise me if I'm completely wrong on everything. Amazing how a demented mind can turn a simple treck across an island into a mind bending puzzle. Good stuff. For me, the game just went from barely worth the budget price to well worth having at normal price.

[jj100all4u]

I happened across this game earlier today - it was reckoned to be one of those underestimated games - and I have to say I loved it - a gentle and haunting story....a man seriously injured in a car accident, hanging on a thread between life and death, but walking the path of lit candles and flourescent paint to his final end.....what a superbly crafted and imaginative game! Top marks for thinking out of the box.

[chalkman]

No actually he's very much alive... thought it may seem you're a walking ghost.

I don't see how he can be alive, the entire island seems a dream like state, and drab. Also the fact that he references being in a hospital bed (and the underwater/accident part where there is a bed) to me says this guy is in some sort of limbo or temporary place.

Breaking things down to their basics, this is what I get about the characters involved...

- Jacobson - A shepherd, dies on the island.

- Donnelly - An explorer, following the history of Jacobson

- Esther's Friend/Partner/Husband - Emotionally tied to Esther in some way/relationship, following Donnelly by means of his book and leaving paintings, scrawls, paper boats on the island.

- The Player - You, following Esther's Friend's diary entries.

So, everyone is following somebody before them. I'm not sure that all of these people are real/metaphors and whether or not they were all involved in the accident. It's possible that based on the names given near the end that Paul is represented by Jacobson and that Esther is represented by Donnelly. If so, who has written the diary entries you're following? Esther's friend/partner/husband who survived the crash, who can't cope with the loss? And who is the Player supposed to be? Why is he/she following the diary entries?

Alternatively, the predecessor to the Player's visit could be Paul, who cannot cope with the guilt of having caused the fatal accident. Hence the obsession with chemical formula diagrams and ABS brake circuits. But then most of the diary entries wouldn't make sense.

Esther visits the diary writer in hospital when he has kidney stones, so it seems more likely that she was a friend and not a spouse. I believe it was a case of unrequited love. Someone who loved Esther dearly, but was only ever destined to be her friend.

The key sure has to be in correctly identifying who the main characters are and what/who they represent.

I also believe that the island is a metaphor, a place either just before death or in the period leading up to it in someone's mind. We all follow someone, and maybe the idea is that everyone's journey is different (e.g. Donnelly never found the caves) but the path we travel is inevitably the same one, to the same end - release.
That is very close to what my take on it was. But my feeling (this is all subjective I know) was that Paul Jakobson and Esther Donnely had all died in the car crash before the narrator, and that was the reason they were on the island before him. Of course there is no right or wrong answer. It is a good discussion here, everyone has interesting ideas.

Also, is it possible that the 2 ghost like figures in the Light house and up the path are Paul and Esther?

[g00nzer]

I read a lot of this thread, but not all of it. For all I know this may have been discussed already. At the ending of the game when you start climbing up the mountain to the radio tower, I reached the top and looked up at the fence surrounding the tower. Behind the fence, standing in the corner of the platform was a hooded man. He was wearing a brown and yellowish robe and I assumed he was who I had seen up on the cliff side up by the candle on the ledge. I thought that since the silhouette was gone once I reached the ledge, that the robed figure I saw must be who was standing on the ledge. I proceeded around the bend and entered into the gate, and instead of being able to go see the robed man, the cut scene triggered and I did not see the man again. I played back through this chapter twice more to try to recreate what I had seen, however I never saw the robed man again. I don't know if anyone here witnessed the same thing, but I'd like to know what everyone's thoughts are on the guy. My initial thoughts were Paul from the Bible, seeing as there were so many writings on the walls talking about Damascus and the story about Saul converting. The ancient look of his clothing made me think it must have something to do with Paul.

[Irongiant666]

The appearance of the figure at the base of the tower varies on every playthrough - the three possible figures are:

- a Female
- a Figure with a decomposing skull-like face
- a Hooded/robed figure

It could be that the female is supposed to be Esther.

The same figures can also be seen in some of the candle reflections on the moonlit beach - just look in the puddles of water and sometimes you won't see a candle reflection ..... it's pretty creepy. :)

[g00nzer]

Interesting, because I never saw another person in that spot. I don't know if any screenshots exist of the people you see at the end, but if anyone does find any I'd be grateful to see them.

[Irongiant666]

Interesting, because I never saw another person in that spot. I don't know if any screenshots exist of the people you see at the end, but if anyone does find any I'd be grateful to see them.

Here's thew cowled figure that you saw:

http://i.imgur.com/TdTmc.jpg

The skull-like maggoty faced one:

http://cloud.steampowered.com/ugc/504638937258483634/F2C982A3707C950347B82E99C57ACF9CA30718F0/

And the girl/woman (top two pics):

http://i44.tinypic.com/149au8p.jpg


This thread is well worth a read:

http://forums.steampowered.com/forums/showthread.php?t=2546714&highlight=island

[g00nzer]

Here's thew cowled figure that you saw:

http://i.imgur.com/TdTmc.jpg

The skull-like maggoty faced one:

http://cloud.steampowered.com/ugc/504638937258483634/F2C982A3707C950347B82E99C57ACF9CA30718F0/

And the girl/woman (top two pics):

http://i44.tinypic.com/149au8p.jpg


This thread is well worth a read:

http://forums.steampowered.com/forums/showthread.php?t=2546714&highlight=island

Thank you very much! Been waiting all day to see these. :) If I'm not mistaken the models for the decomposed looking face and the woman are from Half Life 2. The woman looks like a citizen from HL2 and the decomposed is a body you can find in areas of the game. Thanks for that thread as well, I read quite a bit of it. It's good to know I'm not the only one who saw someone inside the gate like that, lol. Although if I had seen the decomposed guy instead of the hooded figure, I think I would have had a heart attack. :P

[Irongiant666]

Yeah, the woman is apparently a re-skinned HL2 model (I would assume that the skull-like maggoty model is unaltered. Not sure though).

[g00nzer]

There was one more thing that caught my attention. In the last chapter, when you approach the parts of the wrecked car with the candles surrounding it, you hear a very strange sound. Anyone have any ideas on what that could have been?
You can hear it in this video:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=adyF3oTCWU8
He starts approaching the car parts at 3:05.

[Irongiant666]

You get those sounds in various places - they appear to be radio signals (perhaps because of the proximity of the aerial?).

[g00nzer]

I never quite understood what the aerial was. What is he referring to?

[Irongiant666]

The aerial = the beacon, ie the tower with the red flashing light which you end up jumping off.

[g00nzer]

Oh, I gotcha, do you think anyone could translate the transmissions somehow?

[smili]

Just walked through this game the first time. Wanted to add to this post: Spoiler:
----
Is it possible the protagonist is the drunk driver seen in third person? I got that as a possible meaning given the guilt.
----

[liam24]

It seems pretty clear that the island is the protagonist's body. Given that, it's interesting to note that in the same way that Paul (who was developing yogurt) was in a collision with him, a ship carrying yogurt became wrecked upon the island.

Also, if you don't want to replay the game, you can cheat a bit and just listen to all the sound files. Go to your Steam Library, right click on Dear Esther, select Properties -> Local Files -> Browse Local Files… and then navigate to dearesther/sound/island/. A couple of these are music files or sound effects, but otherwise they're all the voice recordings in mp3 form.

[frostybaby13]

I just played, great game - came here to read theories. I read through a few pages and see a lot of people speculating that Esther was the wife or random car accident person. In my play through, in the beginning, exploring the beach around the lighthouse, the protagonist says Esther was his daughter.

Something like: "When you were born, a red birthmark covered half of your face, your mother said that no one knew what to say so you cried to fill the vacuum. I always admired that about you, and went on to create situations where you'd use your talent (of crying to fill a void?)."

Later on, the protagonist mentions something about "when I finally met you, 6 years old."

So, I went through the entire story assuming Esther was his daughter. And she was killed by a drunk driver. The protagonist (father) is always saying "come back" when you fall into deep water or when the game really ends at the very end.....I assumed he was speaking to his child, and obsessed with finding the drunk driver who caused her accident (or did he cause the accident that killed his own child?)

Anyway, sorry if this has been discussed before but I did't see a mention of the "Esther is his daughter" in the pages I read & I didn't realize there was a changing narrative, now I want to play again! :)

[alphyna]

I really, really can't agree with everyone dubbing Esther "Donelly" and Paul "Jakobson". They seem to be four diferent characters to me, although my arguments may seem a bit shaky.

Donelly and Jakobson are historical figures, and the narrator tells us about their lives in certain factual detail. Historical detail, even somewhat boring. With dates and all. I don't really believe that's how metaphors/fantasies are constructed. There's little emphasis on personality (parallels come in, as with everything in the story, but later). If Jakobson and Donelly were imagined, wouldn't their stories grow from some symbols, of which there is plenty? Like someone was 21 years old or something. But no — their introduction is much more textbook-like.

So why "Esther Donelly and Paul Jakobson"? Well, the answer is in the final monologue.

Who was Jakobson, who remembers him? Donnelly has written of him, but who was Donnelly, who remembers him? I have painted, carved, hewn, scored into this space all that I could draw from him. There will be another to these shores to remember me. I will rise from the ocean like an island without bottom, come together like a stone, become an aerial, a beacon that they will not forget you.

It really seem to me that the main theme here is that in the end history know no personalities, only solid things, and the only things himans leave behind are also solid. Jakobson and Donelly are only remembered by the things — the books, the sheds, the caves, the island. There is a generation between Jakobson and Donelly, but for the narrator they kinda blur together into a single "historical" timeline. It's only logical that Esther, Paul and the narrator will become just historical figures for those who come next, and thus it's not really that needed to differentiate among them all. "Esther" and "Donnelly" may be a single person for someone living 200 years in the future. Humans die and blur, it doesn't matter; only the stones do.