Meet the Pyro: RedStormtrooper Edition

RedStormtrooper · 11-06-2009, 08:54 PM

[RED Pyro walks in]

RED Pyro: [takes off mask; reveals semi-young male with a tuft of red hair on the top of his head] What, you expecting a girl? That's the sorta... bluish one. Or is she green?

[CUT TO BLU PYRO]
BLU Pyro: [About the same thing, only a girl, with a tuft of blue hair instead of red] Nothing to see here.

[BACK TO RED PYRO]
RED Pyro: Yeah...

[Title Card, with the theme rendered on a guitar]

RED Pyro: So... yeah... I'm a pyro. As in, "pyromaniac." Creative, isn't it.

[Cut to RED Pyro using flamethrower on a spy disguised as a soldier. The spy dies]

RED Pyro (off screen): How and why? Simple, really.

[BLU Heavy on fire]

BLU Heavy: Fire, fire, FIIIRE!

[cut back to RED Pyro]

RED Pyro: With a little bit of gasoline, or petrol. Depends which side of the 'pond' you're on. Oh, and a match, maybe.

[Cut to RED Pyro burning BLU Soldier, Demoman]

RED Pyro: Or, any spark, for that matter...

[Soldier and Demoman die. Scout behind them faints.]

[Cut back to RED Pyro]

RED Pyro: And why... because I can? Because I get to burn things and be somewhat useful?

[Sentry sounds in the background]

BLU Engineer: Buildin' a Sentry!

RED Pyro (putting gasmask back on): Wait a second, I'll be *mphf hmph hrm*

[Engineer screams]

BLU Engineer: No! It's you!

[Muffled laughter]

BLU Engineer: AAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAAH! Aaahh... Why aren't you burning me?

RED Pyro (Muffled): Because I ran out of fuel.

[Shotgun blast; Engineer scream]

[Pyro comes back into scene, sits down, takes mask off]

RED Pyro: So... yeah.

[Team end card, theme rendered on guitar]

[Cut to BLU Pyro]

[Medic Screams]

RED Pyro (In background): Stop drop and roll! Stop drop and roll!

BLU Pyro (to camera): This happens alot.

[Orange box add]

TO PortalStorm · 11-07-2009, 07:44 PM

I don't think it would be suitable for a trailer but it made me lol. It also is a good explanation for the gender.

RedStormtrooper · 11-08-2009, 06:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TO PortalStorm

I don't think it would be suitable for a trailer but it made me lol. It also is a good explanation for the gender.

As intended.

(That, and I figured I could have fun with the gender, and say "What the hell. They pyro is BOTH. Just depends which team your on, since they seem to be different people (points to Meet the Spy)."

11-06-2009, 08:54 PM	#1
RedStormtrooper Join Date: Jul 2009 Reputation: 0 Posts: 20	Meet the Pyro: RedStormtrooper Edition [RED Pyro walks in] RED Pyro: [takes off mask; reveals semi-young male with a tuft of red hair on the top of his head] What, you expecting a girl? That's the sorta... bluish one. Or is she green? [CUT TO BLU PYRO] BLU Pyro: [About the same thing, only a girl, with a tuft of blue hair instead of red] Nothing to see here. [BACK TO RED PYRO] RED Pyro: Yeah... [Title Card, with the theme rendered on a guitar] RED Pyro: So... yeah... I'm a pyro. As in, "pyromaniac." Creative, isn't it. [Cut to RED Pyro using flamethrower on a spy disguised as a soldier. The spy dies] RED Pyro (off screen): How and why? Simple, really. [BLU Heavy on fire] BLU Heavy: Fire, fire, FIIIRE! [cut back to RED Pyro] RED Pyro: With a little bit of gasoline, or petrol. Depends which side of the 'pond' you're on. Oh, and a match, maybe. [Cut to RED Pyro burning BLU Soldier, Demoman] RED Pyro: Or, any spark, for that matter... [Soldier and Demoman die. Scout behind them faints.] [Cut back to RED Pyro] RED Pyro: And why... because I can? Because I get to burn things and be somewhat useful? [Sentry sounds in the background] BLU Engineer: Buildin' a Sentry! RED Pyro (putting gasmask back on): Wait a second, I'll be mphf hmph hrm [Engineer screams] BLU Engineer: No! It's you! [Muffled laughter] BLU Engineer: AAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAAH! Aaahh... Why aren't you burning me? RED Pyro (Muffled): Because I ran out of fuel. [Shotgun blast; Engineer scream] [Pyro comes back into scene, sits down, takes mask off] RED Pyro: So... yeah. [Team end card, theme rendered on guitar] [Cut to BLU Pyro] [Medic Screams] RED Pyro (In background): Stop drop and roll! Stop drop and roll! BLU Pyro (to camera): This happens alot. [Orange box add]

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11-07-2009, 07:44 PM	#2
TO PortalStorm Join Date: Aug 2009 Reputation: 0 Posts: 21	I don't think it would be suitable for a trailer but it made me lol. It also is a good explanation for the gender.