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Old 01-27-2012, 07:30 AM   #1
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(fairly brief) Meet the Pyro idea

I wrote this as a post in a different thread, then figured I could just as well make a new thread about it. It's an idea for a MTP script, hopefully a somewhat clever one. I tried to keep it as brief as possible for your reading pleasure, and did for that reason not describe the action scenes. I'm imagining them as the flashback clips in Meet the Spy; Fast-paced action clips where the Pyro shows off his various skills by killing the enemy team classes one by one, with some nice choreography and funny details. If you guys like the general idea I could post a more elaborate and detailed version later. Welp, here goes:


Fade in on a calm scene of two or three BLU characters strolling in an idyllic lakeside meadow environment. Suddenly, they're ambushed by the RED Pyro. Screaming and violence ensues.

Cut to 'meet the team' screen.

Fade in on a RED spytech-style intel room. A RED Scout, Pyro and Heavy (in that order, from left to right) are positioned on red plastic chairs, guarding the intel and looking bored. They are all facing the camera. A table with a coffee maker can be seen behind the Heavy, and there's an air vent in the upper left corner of the wall. A few seconds of silence. The Pyro stands up and looks straight into the camera, then nonchalantly pulls off the mask and reveals itself to be a grandmotherly-looking kindly old lady. The Heavy and Scout look up, surprised.
Unmasked Pyro: Why hello there. Allow me to present myself. I am Mrs. Tiddlywinks, perhaps better known as the Pyro.
Cut back to masked Pyro. Another short action scene in the same meadowy environment. A fence and some garage-like buildings can be faintly seen in the background.

Cut back to RED intel room.
Unmasked Pyro: I was born in 1886, in a quaint suburban town in southern England...
Unmasked Pyro proceeds to chat on about her heritage and childhood.
Cut back to masked Pyro. Another action scene, now in a more obviously semi-industrial environment. Piles of tires, sheets of corrugated metal and such are abundant. Only the blue sky and distant birdsong hints that this is the same idyllic environment.

Cut back to unmasked Pyro. She keeps talking about her identity and life story in abundant detail. The Scout and Heavy are growing gradually more bored and less attentive.

Cut back to masked Pyro. It enters one of the conrete building and goes up a flight of metal stairs, while performing yet another action scene.

Cut back to unmasked Pyro. She is still busy explaining her identity. Scout and Heavy have now completely lost interest, and are lazily gazing straight ahead. Pyro gets up and moves toward the coffee machine, while still talking.

Cut back to masked Pyro. Yet another action scene, now in an office-like room.

Cut back to unmasked Pyro She pours herself some coffee, takes a sip, puts the cup down and continues talking.
Unmasked Pyro: ...So anyway, that's the story of how I moved to the badlands. This was in 1922, so it would naturally take a few-HAHA! Surprise, fat man!
Puff of smoke. Unmasked RED Pyro turns out to be the BLU Spy. RED Heavy goes stiff and falls face down on the floor with a knife in his back. RED Scout gasps, scrambles from his chair, and promptly get shot in the head and dies. BLU Spy elegantly blows the smoke from his revolver and holsters it. He then strolls over to the intel, casually picks it up and starts walking away to the left. He suddenly stops, and turns to face the camera again.
Spy: Ah, yes. I almost forgot. Do you want to know who the Pyro really is? It's a rather funny story. You see, the truth is that-
RED masked Pyro jumps out through the air vent in an explosion of plastic shards and lands by the BLU Spy, stiking a martial artist pose. The Spy briefly tries to escape/fight back, but gets violently killed over the course of a few second.

Cut to 'Team Fortress 2' screen with theme music.

Cut back to RED intel room. RED Pyro sits on the floor in the middle of the room in the 'Sitting Pyro' pose. The room is left in as much of a mess as it was before the ending screen: The corpses of the RED Scout, RED Heavy and BLU Spy are scattered around the room amongst intel documents, spilled coffee, overturned chairs and air vent splinters. The only sound that can be heard is distant birdsong.

Fade to black, The End.
Well, that's it. Any comments?
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Old 01-27-2012, 08:48 AM   #2
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Not bad, I like the concept!
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Old 01-27-2012, 09:31 AM   #3
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I don't know that the Spy would be able to disguise as a woman with out it looking funny (proportions would be all off I mean).
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Old 01-27-2012, 09:43 AM   #4
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Not bad, I like the concept!
Thanks!

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I don't know that the Spy would be able to disguise as a woman with out it looking funny (proportions would be all off I mean).
You mean that the transformation after backstabbing the Heavy would look odd because the Spy has a different body type that a Pyro (with the face of an elderly lady)? Eh, maybe, but I don't think that'd be a problem. Take a look at the undisguising RED Spy near the end of Meet the Spy. It's a fairly big difference between the Scout body and the Spy body, but the transition is still smooth. There is admittedly a bigger difference between the body of a Spy and a Pyro, but most of his body would be hidden behind the Heavy in this case.
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Old 02-18-2012, 01:00 PM   #5
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Bump for more attention, and because the real MTP is drawing closer.
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Old 02-18-2012, 03:40 PM   #6
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I think that this is brilliant, although sad that we still don't meet the pyro. :P
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Old 02-19-2012, 05:29 AM   #7
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You mean that the transformation after backstabbing the Heavy would look odd because the Spy has a different body type that a Pyro (with the face of an elderly lady)? Eh, maybe, but I don't think that'd be a problem. Take a look at the undisguising RED Spy near the end of Meet the Spy. It's a fairly big difference between the Scout body and the Spy body, but the transition is still smooth. There is admittedly a bigger difference between the body of a Spy and a Pyro, but most of his body would be hidden behind the Heavy in this case.
That and also, you wouldn't really see a woman fighting on the Battlefield (in those times). It may come of as highly suspicious.
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Old 02-19-2012, 05:21 PM   #8
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I don't think this is a good tonal match for the Meet the Team videos. The overtly ridiculous presence of Mrs Tiddlywinks aside, there's not nearly enough fire.

In Meet the Pyro, there should be glorious oceans of fire. I want to see the silhouettes of snipers dancing in front of the hellish bonfire that was once their sniper perch; Scouts collapsing just inches from a soothing pool. I want the video to end with the Pyro strolling in slow-motion out of a burning building.
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Old 02-20-2012, 05:20 AM   #9
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I get the Pyro-Spy reference, because they both had the same voice actor. We might see that in the real MtP.
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Old 02-20-2012, 01:20 PM   #10
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That and also, you wouldn't really see a woman fighting on the Battlefield (in those times). It may come of as highly suspicious.
But you wouldn't see her fighting here. The Mrs Tiddlywinks/"unmasked Pyro"/Spy would just stand around and talk. All the fighting in the script is done by the real, masked Pyro.

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I don't think this is a good tonal match for the Meet the Team videos. The overtly ridiculous presence of Mrs Tiddlywinks aside, there's not nearly enough fire.

In Meet the Pyro, there should be glorious oceans of fire. I want to see the silhouettes of snipers dancing in front of the hellish bonfire that was once their sniper perch; Scouts collapsing just inches from a soothing pool. I want the video to end with the Pyro strolling in slow-motion out of a burning building.
I suppose, but that could easily be inserted into the fight scenes. I suppose the intel room could be in a wooden house that gets set on fire as the Spy is killed. Then the sitting Pyro ending shot could take place in a total inferno.

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I get the Pyro-Spy reference, because they both had the same voice actor. We might see that in the real MtP.
Wow, that was not an intentional reference. I didn't even know.
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Old 02-20-2012, 10:36 PM   #11
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Still, it's a bit slow and light on Pyro action. It doesn't tell much of a Pyro story, and while that might be intentional in recognition of the mystery surrounding him, the actual details of Mrs Pippenpaddleopsekopelis don't strike me as being funny enough to warrant her inclusion. She doesn't apparently serve much more purpose than the initial "LOL Pyro is an old woman" sightgag.

It gets worse with the details that she's supposedly so boring people can't even sit through what should be a fairly interesting unmasking. I mean, she's the Pyro. Plus, she's a woman, which I don't think is some impossible scenario but at the very least would raise some eyebrows.

Plus, her being boring cuts out the main reasons you'd include her at all: fun old-lady Pyromaniac lines. While this is logically explained because "she" is actually the Spy, it's unsatisfying (because fun quotes are a staple of TF2). You might as well end the movie with the Pyro holding out his hands and saying "But it was all a dream".

Ultimately, you end up spending too much set-up on too little joke.

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That and also, you wouldn't really see a woman fighting on the Battlefield (in those times). It may come of as highly suspicious.
They're an insane, amoral mercenary group, not a regular military. Women still aren't generally front line combatants in most national militaries, but that doesn't make modern female gunslingers too eyebrow-raising, even in places where they're cartoonishly out of place or inappropriate.
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Old 02-25-2012, 12:12 PM   #12
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Still, it's a bit slow and light on Pyro action.
I don't see how. It follows the 'dialogue-cut-action-cut-dialogue' format used by all Meet the Team videos except Medic and Engineer. Unlike most other MtT videos, the action sequences here would be almost nonstop fighting, so I think it would be one of the most action-heavy ones.

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Originally Posted by bunivasal View Post
It doesn't tell much of a Pyro story, and while that might be intentional in recognition of the mystery surrounding him, the actual details of Mrs Pippenpaddleopsekopelis don't strike me as being funny enough to warrant her inclusion. She doesn't apparently serve much more purpose than the initial "LOL Pyro is an old woman" sightgag.
Huh, I never thought of it as a sightgag. The idea I based the whole thing around was 'Pyro nonchalantly reveals identity, turns out to be Spy, about to reveal real identity, killed by action sequence Pyro.' I chose to make that identity an old woman for completely non-gimmicky reasons: I wanted the identity to be female, because it felt like a perfect (fake) revelation. Female PYro is probably the most common and most fiercely debated theory, so it would elicit a good reaction. The Pyro's body type as well as the quaint, flowery designs on all its feminine accessories made 'grandmotherly old lady' seem like the most appropriate female identity. Furthermore, it would give a nice storytelling vibe to the dialogue parts and a stark contrast to the violent action sequences.

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It gets worse with the details that she's supposedly so boring people can't even sit through what should be a fairly interesting unmasking. I mean, she's the Pyro. Plus, she's a woman, which I don't think is some impossible scenario but at the very least would raise some eyebrows.
This is a very good point. I'll change the boredom part.

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Plus, her being boring cuts out the main reasons you'd include her at all: fun old-lady Pyromaniac lines. While this is logically explained because "she" is actually the Spy, it's unsatisfying (because fun quotes are a staple of TF2). You might as well end the movie with the Pyro holding out his hands and saying "But it was all a dream".

Ultimately, you end up spending too much set-up on too little joke.
Yeah, the dialogue parts should definitely include some fun lines.
I don't see the idea as a joke with a giant setup, but rather a joke used as framework for the rest of the stuff. Or rather, an elegant way to deal with the identity issue, masked as a joke and then used as framework.
One could say that Meet the Spy was one joke with a giant setup; You expect the BLU Spy to turn out to be the RED Spy, and feel sort of smug about having figured it out. It turns out that the Scout was the Spy all along. You're as dumb as the Soldier, gotcha, credits roll.
However, this joke serves to show the infiltratory, paranoia-inducing nature of the Spy class, and it provides a larger narrative into which a bunch of smaller jokes are inserted.


Hm, maybe I should write an elaborate version of my script with fully described action sequences and complete dialogue. I'm not sure I can be as clever as a full team of Valve employees, though, so maybe that would only make my idea look dumber.
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Old 02-27-2012, 11:06 AM   #13
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well, its different. I know this is a bit self-centered on my part, but I like how I explained the pyro in my script. Also, this script seems a bit short, considering how the MT spy and MT medic were rather long in comparision to the earlier MTT's.

Still, its fun to write how we all would imagine the MTP to be. Just cant wait to see what they actually come up with
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Old 02-27-2012, 12:31 PM   #14
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Very nice but RED cant die
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Old 03-18-2012, 03:48 AM   #15
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Very nice but RED cant die
Yes, they can. RED Scout dies at 00:43.
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