Spoonerize an item, give it stats.

[stamda]

The Poliday Hunch
Level 20 Polish Assumption

Convince yourself that the word Poliday has Polish connotations because it looks like it
-100% knowing what Poliday actually is

[l'interdit]

The Guying Fuillotine
Turns stuff into a Guy
Doubles as a Fuillotine
Breaks after 923rd use
-100% knowledge on what a fuillotine is
-92.3% need for Guys

[FrozenFireBug]

The Konniver's Cunai
Level 5 Knife
Kind of sounds like an offensive term for a wo- I should stop right there.

[A 1970 Corvette]

The Kestive Fnife
Kevel Lne Onife
+100% chance for people to misread it as "Kestive Fife"
Not actually a Fife

Ted-R@p3 Recorder
Sevel Lne Oapper
+100% Damage against Ted
Can be attached to Ted
-100% damage to anything not Ted-related

She Tapper
Sevel Lne Oapper
Taps all women classes in the server
There aren't female classes in the game
No player skins allowed

[lordexplodeon]

The Meltmanner
Does the same thing as the Manmelter, but BACKWARDS

[FrozenFireBug]

Originally Posted by A 1970 Corvette

She Tapper
Sevel Lne Oapper
Taps all women classes in the server
There aren't female classes in the game
No player skins allowed

This wins forever.

[A 1970 Corvette]

Originally Posted by lordexplodeon

The Meltmanner
Does the same thing as the Manmelter, but BACKWARDS

Does that mean it has crits but then uses crits to extinguish people?

I'm confused now.

[megamike360]

Feam Tortress
+100% change of torturing Feams
-100% chance of ever finding a Feam

FYI: A Feam is a legendary creature said to posses the power to clean bathrooms to perfection, but you have to torture them to do it.

ALTERNATE

Feam Tortress
level 1 new game
Game where you get to torture Feams
costs $59.99 and has day 1 DLC

DLC is bathroom map back BTW, where one of the torture options is getting to give the Feams swirlies.

[Sciencejoe]

Strange Scotkiller Battergun

Level 1 Scattergun
Uses Scout's current melee as ammo, but deals the effects of the bat (Boston Basher bleeds, Sandman stuns, etc.)
Only does damage against Demoman

[PutinSpencer]

Originally Posted by A 1970 Corvette

She Tapper
Sevel Lne Oapper
Taps all women classes in the server
There aren't female classes in the game
No player skins allowed

-_-

5-_-

[RognarB]

The Aire Fxe (read: Air fax)
level 5 wind-based transmission device

On use: player builds up connection.
When connection is full: send copies to offices
Hostage holdup in offices
no random critical hit

[MrHax]

Phlog-Togistigrameerlortypewriter
Level 1-100 electrolysed ultra-waves of pure bull-♥♥♥♥ grammar
All grammar error fills "Grammar N@zi", alt-fire to ♥♥♥♥ grammar and OVER 9000 rep
+100% ramdon kritikal thing
-200% damage
No airblast, ♥♥♥♥ you!

[sleonard11]

The Tranmeads
Because you never know when your Trans will need medical attention.

[MechaEmperor700]

Shokolad
Level 1 Lunchbox Item
+50% Sweet-tooth Satisfaction
On Kill: Get another charge.
+200% Bathroom Trips

[d95]

no hritical cits