20 easy steps to Starting GTA IV on your PC

[xiko]

http://hellforge.gameriot.com/blogs/...-IV-on-Your-PC

GTA IV for the PC has just taken anti-piracy protection to the next level. To demonstrate, here's a step by step process on how you can start - not play- the game:

Step 1: "Tut" loudly as you are forced to agree to be part of the Rockstar Social Club; a Gamespy type program that must be installed before you can install the game.

Step 2. Wait for it to validate your DVD. Begin to install the game. It comes on 2 DVDs, taking up 16GB's of space.

Step 3: Growl loudly when asked to make a Microsoft Live account. If you haven't done so, be prepared for an arduous task in itself. Begin to cry.

Step 4: Wipe tears of frustration from eyes. Unclench jaw. Finish installing the game.

Step 5: Start crying again when you realise you must now make a Rockstar Social Club account. Do so while chanting a mantra of harsh words (language choice is optional).

Step 6: Go to email account to find validation code. See no email. Break something within arms reach.

Step 7: Ask website to resubmit code. Eventually find it in the junk folder. Consider offering Satan your soul to end the pain. Click validation link.

Step 8: Choose whether to assign your Xbox, Play Station or PC Microsoft Live account to the Rockstar Social Club. Plot assassination of Microsoft Live creator. Choose account.

Step 9: Attempt to sign into account as requested. Check watch: it's dinner time... but didn't you just eat breakfast?

Step 10: Finally finish creating Rockstar Social Club account. Sigh with wary relief. Start Social Club program.

Step 11: Speak in tongues as the program updates. Make a pot plant spontaneously combust.

Step 12: Rejoice as a big splash page with the word "Play!" appears. Click it with tired optimism.

Step 13: Bash head against keyboard repeatedly after seeing message stating "Please install the new Windows Live Update". Feel the beginnings of an ulcer forming.

Step 14: 22MB later, install update. Rock back in forth in your chair while attempting the "Play" button again.

Step 15: It works! Hooray! ....right? WRONG. Activate the game again by entering the code on your manual. Wait for it to su****iously validate you. Feel slightly violated when it finally gives you the OK and starts the game.

Step 16: Begin to worry when black screen lasts 5 minutes. Alt + tab a few times. Remove fingernails from fingers due to over ambitious biting.

Step 17: Menu words! At last! Proceed to graphics options.

Step 18: Consider hiring Chuck Norris to roundhouse kick Rockstar when they tell you “You can not set the graphics higher as your system lacks resources” when you not only have enough resources, the benchmark test runs crystal smooth.

Step 19: Sigh, write it off as a bug. Begin game. Hooray! GTA IV at last!

Step 20: Game crashes to desktop.

[tibetanpunk]

Thanks...You just saved me £30.

[Freyar]

This was reposted from another forum. I can't recall which one off the top of my head.

[xiko]

Originally Posted by Freyar

This was reposted from another forum. I can't recall which one off the top of my head.

the link is on the top. I´ve got the link from rock paper shotgun.

[Seth.Sekhmet]

this was a crazy-laugh read, thx for posting here also

[gentle7119]

That was pretty much what I went through - some steps are missing though. After downloading through steam - it took me around 2½ hours to get the game playing decently.

Btw: Thanks Rockstar for the enormous amount of glitches

[DataMatrix]

That link is stupid, why? Read:

* The crash-to-desktop bug is rampant, a "fatal zlib20 error". No known solution yet.

Haven't had that problem.

* Securom must be running at all times while the game is running. Closing it results in the game closing too.

Haven't tried it and don't know why you have.

* SecuROM will often crash, resulting in your game not starting at all.

Haven't had that problem.

* The reason the menu screen was black for me for so long is because it must download a file every time you start the game, since the menu background is actually an online updating news page.

Doesn't seem to be long for me...

* The newest Geforce Drivers: version 180.48, are not compatible with GTA IV.

Seem pretty much compatible for me, in what way aren't they?

* The Windows Live update supports Vista 32bit only. If you have Windows Vista 64bit, you can not play.

I can play fine on Vista x64 SP1

* The game does not support, nor recognise, SLI card set ups of any of the Geforce 8600 or 8800 card series.

SLi sucks, what did you expect?

[musselle]

Originally Posted by xiko

http://hellforge.gameriot.com/blogs/...-IV-on-Your-PC

GTA IV for the PC has just taken anti-piracy protection to the next level. To demonstrate, here's a step by step process on how you can start - not play- the game:

Step 1: "Tut" loudly as you are forced to agree to be part of the Rockstar Social Club; a Gamespy type program that must be installed before you can install the game.

Step 2. Wait for it to validate your DVD. Begin to install the game. It comes on 2 DVDs, taking up 16GB's of space.

Step 3: Growl loudly when asked to make a Microsoft Live account. If you haven't done so, be prepared for an arduous task in itself. Begin to cry.

Step 4: Wipe tears of frustration from eyes. Unclench jaw. Finish installing the game.

Step 5: Start crying again when you realise you must now make a Rockstar Social Club account. Do so while chanting a mantra of harsh words (language choice is optional).

Step 6: Go to email account to find validation code. See no email. Break something within arms reach.

Step 7: Ask website to resubmit code. Eventually find it in the junk folder. Consider offering Satan your soul to end the pain. Click validation link.

Step 8: Choose whether to assign your Xbox, Play Station or PC Microsoft Live account to the Rockstar Social Club. Plot assassination of Microsoft Live creator. Choose account.

Step 9: Attempt to sign into account as requested. Check watch: it's dinner time... but didn't you just eat breakfast?

Step 10: Finally finish creating Rockstar Social Club account. Sigh with wary relief. Start Social Club program.

Step 11: Speak in tongues as the program updates. Make a pot plant spontaneously combust.

Step 12: Rejoice as a big splash page with the word "Play!" appears. Click it with tired optimism.

Step 13: Bash head against keyboard repeatedly after seeing message stating "Please install the new Windows Live Update". Feel the beginnings of an ulcer forming.

Step 14: 22MB later, install update. Rock back in forth in your chair while attempting the "Play" button again.

Step 15: It works! Hooray! ....right? WRONG. Activate the game again by entering the code on your manual. Wait for it to su****iously validate you. Feel slightly violated when it finally gives you the OK and starts the game.

Step 16: Begin to worry when black screen lasts 5 minutes. Alt + tab a few times. Remove fingernails from fingers due to over ambitious biting.

Step 17: Menu words! At last! Proceed to graphics options.

Step 18: Consider hiring Chuck Norris to roundhouse kick Rockstar when they tell you “You can not set the graphics higher as your system lacks resources” when you not only have enough resources, the benchmark test runs crystal smooth.

Step 19: Sigh, write it off as a bug. Begin game. Hooray! GTA IV at last!

Step 20: Game crashes to desktop.

You forgot to mention GTAIV Runs fine without Rockstar social club after about 5 prompts to login/sign/up and update... etc. But when you do finally get your confirmation email and login to social club to get rid of the prompts it gives you the error CTD MMA10 = which basically means run GTAIV without being logged in to social club for it to work!

I spent alll last night trying to install this rubbish game to be met with shockingly low frame rates on my hi spec 'it came from outer space' gaming death machine. AND the first mission was what i feared - a girlfriend mission where you are made to play a 'mini game' of bowlign with a girl !!!!

disappointed
from Bedford

[nVIDIOT]

"* The Windows Live update supports Vista 32bit only. If you have Windows Vista 64bit, you can not play." << blatant lie

[Veenoh]

nice one mate, really enjoyed reading that facing other problems myself but still.

[BasBalManic]

*Sigh*

I was excited about this game, about to buy a quad core so I could run it.

Now I'm just gonna wait for a patch, if it comes and solves the problem.

Thanks for keeping me from paying $50 for Rockstar's poorly ported product.

[BasBalManic]

Originally Posted by DataMatrix

SLi sucks, what did you expect?

Does it at least support PhysX for some physics processing so I can give my second card something to do?

[Demon_Eyes]

I agree with u... I broke my shellphone because my 2 month gaming computer cant play this f*ckin game in the lowest graphics and can play FA3 Dead Space and Far Cry 2 in high setting... Its a rip off. I feel like i've been robbed GTA style... They beat me, they steal my money, car and girl and then they tell me that I need to have a f*ckin future computer from nasa t play th game in high setting... They can just go and die.. I hope they make a patch fast because i can see th Rockstar department burnt and the developers hunged upside down naked with a baseball bat in their as*es... Sorry for the strong language but this is so.....ARGGG...They have to apologize to PC gamers for telling us that we are at fault not for having a super computer.

[BasBalManic]

Originally Posted by Demon_Eyes

I agree with u... I broke my shellphone because my 2 month gaming computer cant play this f*ckin game in the lowest graphics and can play FA3 Dead Space and Far Cry 2 in high setting... Its a rip off. I feel like i've been robbed GTA style... They beat me, they steal my money, car and girl and then they tell me that I need to have a f*ckin future computer from nasa t play th game in high setting... They can just go and die.. I hope they make a patch fast because i can see th Rockstar department burnt and the developers hunged upside down naked with a baseball bat in their as*es... Sorry for the strong language but this is so.....ARGGG...They have to apologize to PC gamers for telling us that we are at fault not for having a super computer.

I loved how they blamed crappy coding on our hardware. Our PCs are more powerful than the 360, and while not as optimized for gaming, they should run it fine.

Bad porting is no excuse. I hope they can patch it.

[nectarinemango]

I'm so angry with this game. I want my money back.
Now I know never to pre order a game again. I'm determined to make my money back in not buying any steam games for a while.

Rockstar if you make another gta you can shove it.