Coping with a pet death need help/advice. - Page 2

radluke · 04-15-2012, 06:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MADDOGGE

That's good news. You aren't left totally without a pet in your life. Be aware that the other dog will likely miss Max as well once he/she realizes Max won't be coming back and will likely grieve/mop especially if they played together a lot and got on well. So keep that in mind if he gets down for a while.

He does miss Max and its painful to watch him do so. He used to pick up his chew toy find max and give it to him. Now he just goes round the house trying to find Max and give him his chew toy but he can't find him anymore

MADDOGGE · 04-15-2012, 06:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by radluke

He does miss Max and its painful to watch him do so. He used to pick up his chew toy find max and give it to him. Now he just goes round the house trying to find Max and give him his chew toy but he can't find him anymore

Yeah they just don't understand like people do. he just knows Max ain't in none of his hiding places. I was watching something yesterday that said a dog was about as intelligent as a 3 year old child and children that young don't understood death either. At least you have each other to get though this rough time.

I had a great uncle(grannies brother) who owned two of the largest black house cats I have ever seen. I guess I was 11-12 when my uncle died. Both cats that had had very little to do with him all those years while he was living, heaping all their furry love on my aunt and us kids, hopped up in my uncles rocking chair where he always sat and grieved themselves death inside a week. Weird.

Hellstrong · 04-15-2012, 06:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MADDOGGE

I was watching something yesterday that said a dog was about as intelligent as a 3 year old child

Animals DO have the brain like a child thats probably what makes them so lovable, interaction is like as if you would interact with a child, you could never stay mad at them and they stay cute forever :-)

MADDOGGE · 04-15-2012, 07:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hellstrong

Animals DO have the brain like a child thats probably what makes them so lovable, interaction is like as if you would interact with a child, you could never stay mad at them and they stay cute forever :-)

I simply can't understand someone hurting a pet unless it actually attacks you. If it does, then it's either sick, hurt or you have abused it. If you have anger issues you should never marry, have children or have a pet. When I still had a place I could have dogs, I could have the worst day but driving up to the house there would stand my dogs trying to wag off their tails. They were just glad to see me. How can that not make you feel good.

fuller556 · 04-15-2012, 07:52 PM

Pets really are more than just pets; they really are a part of your family, especially when you bring them up from a baby.

That said, there's no way to get over the loss overnight. You want to treat it much like losing anyone else in your family, and lean on your family and close friends to help you get through it. You might even talk to the vet to see if they know of any therapists or support groups in your community to help you cope with that kind of loss. Leaning on your remaining dog may be therapeutic, as well. While that dog can't take the place of the one you lost, it can still be a source of comfort as you bond even more with it. It might also help your dog to cope with the loss, as well; clearly, it knows something is wrong by its behavior with the toy. Additionally, having an actual funeral might be helpful as a way of coping and remembering all the years you had with Max. If you do this, it should be intimate, just you, your family, and maybe a couple of very close friends who understand the way you're feeling right now. It might help to give you a sense of closure over the loss and allow you to start moving forward.

Also, try to find something worthwhile that you enjoy to help divert your attention from your grief. I think someone else suggested this before. This isn't to say to not take time for your grief to come out, but it's also good to find something you can wrap yourself up into so that you're not dwelling on it 24/7, because that isn't healthy at all. Basically, try to find the right balance between your grief and living your everyday life, and you will be able to move forward. But don't be hard on yourself if it takes awhile to do this. You have to be patient with yourself as you find the best way for you to move on. Remember that everyone grieves differently; there's not necessarily any right or wrong way to do it. But if you do find yourself dwelling on nothing but your loss and going into depression, that's a sign you might need some outside help to get through it.

I know that I am no expert on any of this, but I do understand how it feels to be that close with a beloved animal. I'm very sorry for what you are going through and hope that some of the replies being posted here may help you in some way while you cope.

marie pavie · 04-15-2012, 08:26 PM

Sorry guy, that's a real tough one.

Excygy · 04-15-2012, 08:31 PM

I lost 3 cats, and none of them had a "good" death :/

Creeper Reaper · 04-15-2012, 08:35 PM

I'm so sorry this happened to you Radluke

I've lost a couple pets as well, It's so hard to deal with it, but with support of your family and friends, I believe anyone can get through it.

And as MADDOGGE says, Dogs are smart, and he/she will come to realize, "Hey, Where is the other dog

" and will have tons of days where it will be sleeping or just lazy on the couch or whatnot.
Don't be alarmed, just give him/her lots of love and compassion, More then you do right now!

And from experience, My girlfriends cat was hit my a car right in front her while she was at the bus stop.

MartinKhan · 04-15-2012, 08:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Excygy

I lost 3 cats, and none of them had a "good" death :/

Yeah, I know how that feels. My cat Tigre got ill on February last year, and we started taking him to the vet 2 or 3 times a week. And when he had started to recover, he got ill again. He used to be a fat cat, and he was getting weaker and weaker, and he started losing weight. It was really sad to look him like that, but I didn't want to let him go... Until July; a Sunday, he woke up and he was bleeding, and we had to let him go. We took him to the vet (who lives near our house) and he put Tigre to sleep. It was really sad. And something that makes me even sadder was that the previous night, he wanted to sleep in my bed, but I couldn't let him because he was ill.

I'm just getting sad by writing this.

Menaus · 04-15-2012, 08:39 PM

Sorry. I moved and couldn't take my Dog, so I know a feeling similar to yours.

Zodiark1593 · 04-15-2012, 08:56 PM

I had a (grumpy) cat that kicked the bucket a couple years ago too. Feels awfully empty in my room without having the usual fuzzball on my bed, nor the grating meow for food, nor that smell of the litterbox.

wazups 2x · 04-15-2012, 08:58 PM

Sorry. I know how you feel, 2 weeks ago we had to put are 8 year old Golden Retriever (Max) to sleep because he had cancer.

We were all holding him and then he stopped breathing. It was the saddest thing I have ever experienced in my life.

markcocjin · 04-15-2012, 09:33 PM

You learned a lot losing a pet being a young person. This is what death is like and it is much worse to lose a person in your life.

I've lost and cried for my pets too. It's really difficult but you'll get used to it. Death is life. In the end, we are all just memories for everyone else. Do not mourn those who have been forgotten for they have truly gone to rest.

Blackops · 04-15-2012, 09:55 PM

Death is always hard. I've only lost a few pets and no family yet but I know that time is very near.

Just keep your chin up and as time goes on, things will get easier as you learn to live without him.

MADDOGGE · 04-15-2012, 09:58 PM

My dad was in the military so until he retired from the military we never had a dog. So when he did retire since he loved dogs as a kid he got us a Corkie puppy from a friend at work. Guess I was maybe 15. Small and cheap to feed he said, ever the practical one but we didn't care, it was a dog! Named her patches. 12 years later she got hit by a speeding car while out on a potty break while I was stationed in Germany. They didn't tell me until I got home. I asked where Patches was and then they had to tell me and showed me where they buried her. Broke my heart. I'm glad they waited. Really loved that doggy. So many fond memories.

04-15-2012, 08:58 PM	#27
wazups 2x Join Date: Feb 2009 Reputation: 1195 Posts: 4,476	Sorry. I know how you feel, 2 weeks ago we had to put are 8 year old Golden Retriever (Max) to sleep because he had cancer. We were all holding him and then he stopped breathing. It was the saddest thing I have ever experienced in my life. Last edited by wazups 2x: 04-15-2012 at 09:00 PM.

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

04-15-2012, 07:52 PM	#20
fuller556 Join Date: Aug 2011 Reputation: 154 Posts: 556	Pets really are more than just pets; they really are a part of your family, especially when you bring them up from a baby. That said, there's no way to get over the loss overnight. You want to treat it much like losing anyone else in your family, and lean on your family and close friends to help you get through it. You might even talk to the vet to see if they know of any therapists or support groups in your community to help you cope with that kind of loss. Leaning on your remaining dog may be therapeutic, as well. While that dog can't take the place of the one you lost, it can still be a source of comfort as you bond even more with it. It might also help your dog to cope with the loss, as well; clearly, it knows something is wrong by its behavior with the toy. Additionally, having an actual funeral might be helpful as a way of coping and remembering all the years you had with Max. If you do this, it should be intimate, just you, your family, and maybe a couple of very close friends who understand the way you're feeling right now. It might help to give you a sense of closure over the loss and allow you to start moving forward. Also, try to find something worthwhile that you enjoy to help divert your attention from your grief. I think someone else suggested this before. This isn't to say to not take time for your grief to come out, but it's also good to find something you can wrap yourself up into so that you're not dwelling on it 24/7, because that isn't healthy at all. Basically, try to find the right balance between your grief and living your everyday life, and you will be able to move forward. But don't be hard on yourself if it takes awhile to do this. You have to be patient with yourself as you find the best way for you to move on. Remember that everyone grieves differently; there's not necessarily any right or wrong way to do it. But if you do find yourself dwelling on nothing but your loss and going into depression, that's a sign you might need some outside help to get through it. I know that I am no expert on any of this, but I do understand how it feels to be that close with a beloved animal. I'm very sorry for what you are going through and hope that some of the replies being posted here may help you in some way while you cope.

04-15-2012, 08:26 PM	#21
marie pavie Join Date: Jan 2005 Reputation: 21513 Posts: 10,159	Sorry guy, that's a real tough one.

04-15-2012, 08:31 PM	#22
Excygy Join Date: Aug 2010 Reputation: 3926 Posts: 168	I lost 3 cats, and none of them had a "good" death :/

04-15-2012, 08:35 PM	#23
Creeper Reaper Join Date: Apr 2012 Reputation: 106 Posts: 244	I'm so sorry this happened to you Radluke I've lost a couple pets as well, It's so hard to deal with it, but with support of your family and friends, I believe anyone can get through it. And as MADDOGGE says, Dogs are smart, and he/she will come to realize, "Hey, Where is the other dog " and will have tons of days where it will be sleeping or just lazy on the couch or whatnot. Don't be alarmed, just give him/her lots of love and compassion, More then you do right now! And from experience, My girlfriends cat was hit my a car right in front her while she was at the bus stop.

04-15-2012, 08:39 PM	#25
Menaus Join Date: Oct 2010 Reputation: 487 Posts: 1,429	Sorry. I moved and couldn't take my Dog, so I know a feeling similar to yours.

04-15-2012, 08:56 PM	#26
Zodiark1593 Join Date: Mar 2011 Reputation: 362 Posts: 913	I had a (grumpy) cat that kicked the bucket a couple years ago too. Feels awfully empty in my room without having the usual fuzzball on my bed, nor the grating meow for food, nor that smell of the litterbox.

04-15-2012, 09:33 PM	#28
markcocjin Join Date: May 2007 Reputation: 979 Posts: 568	You learned a lot losing a pet being a young person. This is what death is like and it is much worse to lose a person in your life. I've lost and cried for my pets too. It's really difficult but you'll get used to it. Death is life. In the end, we are all just memories for everyone else. Do not mourn those who have been forgotten for they have truly gone to rest.

04-15-2012, 09:55 PM	#29
Blackops Join Date: Feb 2008 Reputation: 1356 Posts: 4,491	Death is always hard. I've only lost a few pets and no family yet but I know that time is very near. Just keep your chin up and as time goes on, things will get easier as you learn to live without him.

04-15-2012, 09:58 PM	#30
MADDOGGE Join Date: Jan 2008 Reputation: 8203 Posts: 25,030	My dad was in the military so until he retired from the military we never had a dog. So when he did retire since he loved dogs as a kid he got us a Corkie puppy from a friend at work. Guess I was maybe 15. Small and cheap to feed he said, ever the practical one but we didn't care, it was a dog! Named her patches. 12 years later she got hit by a speeding car while out on a potty break while I was stationed in Germany. They didn't tell me until I got home. I asked where Patches was and then they had to tell me and showed me where they buried her. Broke my heart. I'm glad they waited. Really loved that doggy. So many fond memories.