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Old 06-22-2012, 10:45 PM   #1
krossbow
 
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If the Pyro is poopy joe

I will be highly dissapointed and greatly annoyed. I don't like the pyro being a damn monkey!


While the evidence of the pyro being an austrailium mutated Monkey seems to be piling up, i sincerely hope this is all a red herring.
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Old 06-22-2012, 10:50 PM   #2
Roger_the_Alien
 
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I want to believe!

http://i.imgur.com/g3sTq.jpg
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Old 06-22-2012, 10:55 PM   #3
Prestige-
 
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if valve feels compelled to actually reveal pyro's identity for certain, austrailium-mutated monkey is the only thing i'd accept probably. i mean c'mon. MUTATED MONKEY.
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Old 06-22-2012, 11:36 PM   #4
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Pyro is Cave Johnson. Cave has problems breathing, therefore gas mask. The Voice Actor has done a commercial for Farmers, Where he has a flamethrower (claiming that he built it), burning a huge ball of lint (pocket lint as drops, thats why there are so many!). In the picture for the pyro coming soon, houses are on fire. Would it be out of the ordinary if combustible lemons were involved? Cave Johnson also says he lives in alternate realities, therefore he could be in TF2.

Either that, or it is very coincidental.
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Old 06-22-2012, 11:56 PM   #5
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I fell in love with the mystery that is the Pyro, any revelation
on it's identity would be a slap in the face, and it being a
mutated monkey would be a followup kick in the balls.

But I'm prepared for it.


I actually think the/a Pyro adopted a burnt and disfigured Poopy
Joe who survived the crash, but that's just personal musings
trying to justify and deny the hints thus far. =p
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Old 06-22-2012, 11:59 PM   #6
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My theory on pyro's identity:
Pyro was a young Italian boy from Abruzzo. His family was a humble farming and distilling family. Pyro loved walking up and down the beautiful appenine mountains he lived near. His best friend, medic, was a German exchange student who came to live in his house during his foreign studies.

Then, in 1915, Italy joined the triple entente and went to war with Austria. Pyro's family, a fairly nationalistic family, were ecstatic when pyro announced his plans to enlist in the italian army. To pyro's dismay, medic was deported due to being from Germany, at the time austria's ally. Heartbroken and unsure whether he would ever see medic again, pyro was shipped off to the expanding front already unsure.

Pyro's unit was the elite montain troops of Italy, and he and his unit were being sent to the dolomite mountains, a tall group near the Italian alpine frontier. Though familiar with rocky terrain and vertical heights, pyro was completely unprepared for what followed. The appenines of his childhood were too low and not far enough inland to be very cold. But these were the alps, and the temperature, even in summer, were chilling, especially to a meditterannean accustomed boy like pyro.

Pyro's first taste of combat came two weeks after his arrival on the front. Austrian troops were staging a minor offensive, and pyro's squad was the target. Manning the machine gun, pyro and his company managed to stave the attack off all throughout the night, but it took a psychological toll on pyro. Two of his fellow alpini died, and both died of frostbite, not battle wounds.

His comrades noticed pyro seemed to bundle up more, and spend more time around the fire. He always held a certain distaste for the cold, but now he seemed downright afraid of it. Most of the men around him originated from alpine regions, and when leave came took for the other ranges. Pyro was the only one who took the rickety road down to the lowlands. Where his tolerance for cold fell, his mechanical genius grew. Pyro ended up being a genius inventor, eventually creating a way to carry fire around with him, a rudimentary gas lighter that even his friends envied.

Things along the mountainous front varied little, pyro lost few close friends and the years went by fast.
Then, the year 1918 came like a bang
Rather, it WAS a bang. As pyro and company were enjoying new years day, a shell burst upon them.
Pyro was the first to wake up, having fallen unconscious. He was sobered by what he saw.
One of the company nurses, whom pyro had befriended, was dead. Her name was Dixie, and preferred to be called Madame Dixie. Tears forming in his eyes, pyro slipped her silly pink hat, something he always teased her for, off her head and stared at it.

The stretcher bearers came, and pyro's commanding officer stopped, looking quite worn out, at pyro. Explaining, in-between huffs, that he must retreat immediately. He explained that Germany had sent several divisions to aid austria's cause, and had smashed the Italian defenses. Pyro, along with other soldiers, fled in a slow, disorganized manner. But to their dismay, an avalanche, likely caused by a rogue artillery shot, blocked their way.

With no warning, soldiers in gray uniforms approached, and engaged the motly group of Italians in hand-to-hand combat.
As both sides quickly dwindled, only two people were left standing. Pyro was one, bravely fighting to the end with a red-bladed axe he had picked up on the way. The other was a German, but something about him caught pyro's attention. He wasn't fighting back.

The German was medic, pyro's old childhood friend. Who had been drafted into the war as a field doctor.

Both men stood, looking at each other bewilderedly. As each explained their story, it became clear that neither intended to do any harm to each other. That didn't stop medic from being captured and imprisoned when Italian reinforcements came, however. Despite pyro's heartfelt defense, medic was shipped away to the pow camps.

The rest of the war went by quickly for pyro. When it was finally over, his parents found him psychologically shattered. He loved fire, hated cold, and would spend days tearfully gazing at the esoteric items he had brought back, his gas burner, dixie's pink hat, and the fire axe.

He spent the next ten years searching for medic. Finally, he popped up. He was working for an American firm as a mercenary
now. Pyro, determined to help his childhood friend, joined up too as a flamethrower wielder. As the emotionless clerk behind the recruitment desk showed him pictures of who he would be fighting, he flared with rage. These insolent youths didn't know what it was like to lose it all, to see your friends die, your enemies die, and freeze to death in an icy mountain.

Wearing an asbestos suit to hide his emotions, upgrading his propane burner to a fully fledged flamethrower, donning a pink hat he referred to solely as "Madame Dixie", and slinging his old red fire axe over his shoulder, pyro marched out of red spawn with his old friend medic.

Determined to make every flame he shot make the enemy suffer pain like the pain he had himself suffered.
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Old 06-23-2012, 12:58 AM   #7
PootisOfSpencer
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Magnamancy View Post
I fell in love with the mystery that is the Pyro, any revelation
on it's identity would be a slap in the face, and it being a
mutated monkey would be a followup kick in the balls.

But I'm prepared for it.


I actually think the/a Pyro adopted a burnt and disfigured Poopy
Joe who survived the crash, but that's just personal musings
trying to justify and deny the hints thus far. =p
I'm scared
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Old 06-23-2012, 07:16 AM   #8
TGaPT
 
 
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PootisOfSpencer View Post
Determined to make every flame he shot make the enemy suffer pain like the pain he had himself suffered.
Zis is brilliant

A few minor corrections and this can be made canon :P
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Old 06-23-2012, 08:21 AM   #9
Charro
 
 
 
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Oh c'mon guys, TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA MONKEY, say that out loud and tell me that it's not awesome
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Old 06-23-2012, 09:44 AM   #10
krossbow
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Charro View Post
Oh c'mon guys, TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA MONKEY, say that out loud and tell me that it's not awesome


but then the pyro's not a woman!
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Old 06-23-2012, 09:55 AM   #11
Charro
 
 
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by krossbow View Post
but then the pyro's not a woman!
Female monkey then
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Old 06-23-2012, 10:16 AM   #12
krossbow
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Charro View Post
Female monkey then
its just not the same...
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Old 06-23-2012, 10:38 AM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Charro View Post
Oh c'mon guys, TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA MONKEY, say that out loud and tell me that it's not awesome
I main pyro and I approve this message.
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Old 06-23-2012, 10:40 AM   #14
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Originally Posted by krossbow View Post
its just not the same...
yeah thas not hawt
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Old 06-23-2012, 02:26 PM   #15
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I would be really frustrated, too. I think I'd hate it a lot.
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